1. Logan

1

Logan

" M iss Shepard," the lawyer in a cheap suit who has been questioning me for the past hour folds his meaty hands on the wooden table he sits behind. He leans forward to glance down at the papers spread out in front of him and my ex, "When you arrived at your home that night, where was your son, Ash?"

The inside of my cheek is raw from chewing on it and when I start to speak it stings, flooding my mouth with a copper taste. "He was in his room." I say just trying to maintain my tone.

Tommy stares through me and it takes everything in me not to smile at the cut that splits his bottom lip and digs into the skin of his chin like a lighting bolt. I wish I had hit him hard enough to wipe the grin off his face permanently. I hate how much Ash looks like him, with big wide blue eyes that draw people in and strawberry blonde hair.

He purses his lips and blows a kiss in my direction. I curl my hands around the arm rest of the uncomfortable wooden courtroom chair and inhale slowly. Do it for Ash. I just had to keep reminding myself that I was here for him, fighting this for him. I couldn't lose him.

His lawyer picks up a photo of Ash's room. I know it…is small. His bed is cramped between two walls, unmade with the thrift store super hero sheets he got last year for his birthday. Even the small lamp that barely flickers yet somehow always makes his room scorched when left on too long was in the photo. "Is this where you found him?"

I nod, staring at the picture.

"Miss Shepard, I will not remind you again that you need to use words to answer the questions." Judge Abbot's voice booms through the courtroom.

Grinding my teeth at the tone he usually takes with me, I answer, "Yes, after I unlocked his door, that is where I found him."

"Is his door usually locked when he's inside?"

I shake my head before catching myself. "No."

"What condition was Ash in when you found him?" Tommy's lawyer asks.

"He was scared," I swallow the lump growing in my throat at the memory of my terrified son. Ash is only five and a good kid. Way better than I deserve. Even better than Tommy deserves.

"Please continue Miss Shepard."

My eyes narrow at the lawyer. "Ash was curled into a ball, covering his ears and crying harder than I have ever seen. I was worried that," My gaze flickers to Tommy. The smile that was plastered on his face was now curled downwards.

"What were you worried about?"

"I was worried that Tommy had hurt him." The words came much easier than I thought they would. I knew that Tommy had never hurt Ash in the past but the diner has me working double shifts and even on his good days Tommy's temper is bad.

The lawyer scribbles something on his notepad, "and by this time had you seen Mr. Henry yet?"

"No sir, I was focused on consoling my son. Tom—Mr. Henry's whereabouts weren't my first concern."

"Your son was your first concern?" He asks as if the idea was foreign.

"Wouldn't yours be?" I reply before I can catch myself. "My son seemed terrified, I wanted to know what was wrong."

"Did Ash have any injuries at the time you found him?"

"No, not that I could see."

"So you weren't sure if he was injured?"

A deep breath of frustration left me, "He didn't have any visible marks on him when I checked, no."

"So you had no reason to believe Mr. Henry had injured your son?"

"No."

"Has Mr. Henry ever given you reason to believe he would injure your son?"

I pause, digging my nails into the wood. "Yes."

"Has Mr. Henry ever acted aggressively before and if so why is there no record of it?" He asks.

"There was no point," I say, "no one would have believed me anyways."

Tommy's eyes darkened, a silent threat to keep my mouth shut when all I wanted to do was scream. Tell them all how many times he had hit me, yell the truth until my lungs gasped for air and I couldn't yell anymore. But it wouldn't do anything because as I stood, I had not a bruise on me and Tommy unfortunately, was covered in them.

The lawyer stood, "What happened next Miss Shepard?"

I glance at my public defender who's smiling down at something on his notepad looking all too relaxed given the current situation. I know it's not my statement because from where I'm sitting on the stand, the page is full of tiny drawings. Looking back at Tommy's lawyer, I knew that whatever I said would be twisted. My lawyer wouldn't be any help now.

"I heard squeals coming from the back of my trailer. I made sure that Ash was okay and went to check on the sounds."

"This is where Mr. Henry and you sleep?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, please continue. What did you find when you entered the bedroom?"

My eye's catch Tommy's and that stupid fucking smile is plastered to his face again. "I found Tommy and a woman I didn't know."

"What were they doing?"

I raise my eyebrow because of course I'd have to describe seeing him dick-deep in a blonde. "They were having sex."

"Did Mr. Henry or this woman notice that you were there?"

I shake my head, "not at first."

"When did they notice?"

"Right about the time he came on her tits and she opened her eyes to watch." My patience with this man is wearing thin. Not that I have patience to begin with. The only person who never tests it is Ash even if he tries some days.

The lawyer's back goes ramrod straight, his eyes turning into saucers. I enjoy seeing the shock on the old man's face and even Sheriff Cassidy lounging in the second row coughs away a laugh.

"Miss Shepard," Judge Abbot booms again, "I will not allow that language in my courtroom."

"Sorry, your honor," I nod and swallow back the sarcasm.

"Did you have previous knowledge about the relationship?" His lawyer asks.

"The affair?" I corrected him, "no."

"Were you and Mr. Henry having relationship troubles?"

"Define troubles," I swallow tightly, I had gone into this understanding that there was a chance his lawyers would blame me for everything. His lawyer stared at me, waiting for me to figure it out and it made my heart race. "I've been working a lot and we haven't been seeing much of each other but—"

"While you've been working has Tommy been the sole guardian for Ash?"

It took everything in me not to lash out. To tell the entire court everything that seemed to bubble up in my chest as his lawyer cocked his head to the side knowing he had walked me into a trap.

"Yes," I say. "But—"

"Miss Shepard during these long shifts have you ever taken anything to help you battle the exhaustion you must be feeling?" He smiles at me.

"No. "

"So you weren't under the influence during the attack?" His tone shifts and I realize that no matter what I do, I will be painted as the villain.

"I was sober. I've never had a drink my entire life," I say.

"Never?" The lawyer pushes.

I push back, "when you had a daddy as a drunk and a story like mine you tend to stay away from the things that wove the tale."

"Miss Shepard, I will remind you that you took an oath on that stand." The lawyer warns.

I can feel the crescent shape indents forming on the palms of my hands as my hands turn to fists. "Would you like me to repeat myself then?" I ask, trying to keep my voice level but even I can hear the shakiness in it. "I've never once had a drop of alcohol, nor do I plan to."

"She's established that she's sober, move on, counselor."

The lawyer nods, turning to his table and handing a photo to me and then a copy to the judge, "is this what you used that night, to beat Mr. Henry?"

I look down at the photo, the baseball bat that my daddy gave me for my tenth birthday, the last present he ever gave me stares back at me. I can still hear Tommy begging me to stop as I backed him into one of the dark corners of the trailer with the wooden bat above my head ready to swing again.

He had crossed a line, and I had snapped.

And now I could feel Ash slipping through my fingers. Everything I did for him, all the abuse and name calling, the double shifts and endless nights without sleep. I did it for Ash just to have it ripped away and there was no one to blame but myself.

"Yes."

"Mr. Henry was unarmed?"

"Yes," I bit down on my tongue.

"So you attacked Mr. Henry without provocation?"

"When I entered the room, Mr. Henry ," His name rolls off my tongue like it hurts to do so, "threatened me to leave and when I didn't he lunged at me. I defended myself."

"From an unarmed man, with a bat?"

"No threat that Mr. Henry delivers is empty. Unarmed or not, Thomas Henry is dangerous."

"Yet you never reported that abuse, Miss. Shepard." He repeats.

"No."

"The statement you just gave holds weight, if you knew Mr. Henry had a temper why did you trust him with the care of your son?"

The question was loaded and it hit me in the chest like a bullet, spreading a stinging sensation up my throat making it hard to breathe.

"I was working double shifts, Tommy is Ash's father." I say trying to control my temper.

"And those were more important than the safety of your son?" He quips.

"I can't provide for Ash without a job."

"So do you trust Mr. Henry with your son?" He pushes.

"I don't have a choice," I grind my teeth together.

"Everyone has a choice, Miss Shepard."

"Tommy had a choice to fuck—" I smack my hand against the wooden banister and the sound rings through the room like a thunderclap at the same time I rise from my seat, leaning into his space and letting the anger tip over the edge.

"Miss Shepard!" Judge Abbott's voice carried over the whispers and gasps of the courtroom. "That's enough!"

Abbott's voice doesn't waver through me as I stare at the satisfied smirk on the lawyer's face. He backs his way back to the table, flopping down into the chair as if he just proved his point to everyone in the room. Logan Shepard is just like her Daddy.

"This court will go into recess for the next fifteen minutes. Miss Shepard, I suggest you take this time to collect yourself." He bangs the gavel against his desk before rising and disappearing into his chambers. I can hear the door click behind me, feel the eyes of everyone in the room glued on me as I step down from the stand.

All of this was pointless. At least it feels that way. No matter what I do or say, I'm going to be made the bad guy here. I already have but I couldn't just sit by and lose Ash by giving in.

My eyes briefly catch Sheriff Cassidy's gaze. His brows are furrowed and he's no longer lounging on the bench. He's hunched forward, hands wringing together like he's the one that should feel guilty.

Shaking my head I pass by my lawyer. I ignore his attempts to get my attention as I push through the main door of the courtroom, doing my best to tamper down the heat rising in my chest, and the anger flowing through me. I hear him calling my name but my focus is getting to a space where I can breathe. I shove around a group of people gossiping in the hallway and out into the fresh air of the front lawn.

"Logan," he hisses at me and I turn to catch Tommy with a cigarette dangling between his swollen lips as he stalks toward me. I brace myself for whatever nasty speech he has prepared but he hands me the smoke from his mouth, holding it between us like a truce even though he knows I don't smoke.

I don't take it, I just shove my hands across my chest and hold my ground. He was trying to intimidate me and it wouldn't work. I am done being pushed around by him.

"Enough," I say in any attempt to get him to just leave me alone, but I watch the abusive curiosity spark behind those terrifying dark eyes.

"It's enough when I say it is, Logan," he takes a long drag of his smoke, "you aren't ever going to get away from me."

I swallow the bile that rises in my dry throat and try not to cry. I wish he was wrong. I want to believe that eventually one day, I'll be free. That Ash and I can move on from this life that he's so desperately shoved us around in. But I know from not only logic but the pit that grows in my stomach that the judge isn't going to side with me.

Family history haunts and it was coming to collect what was due.

"Miss Shepard," the bailiff calls to me from the doors, ushering us back inside with Tommy hot on my tail. The smell of smoke lingers around him like a warning sign as we enter the courtroom and find our seats.

Everyone rises as the judge joins us. I make the mistake of looking over at Tommy who has a Cheshire grin spread across his face. A dreadful feeling sinks deep into my already exhausted heart as the judge delivers the verdict.

"Miss Shepherd the jury finds you guilty of assault with a weapon causing bodily harm."

The world spins how it pleases, knocking me off my axis.

"The punishment for this crime is two years jail time, considering it is your first infraction in my courtroom," he says and I feel all of the air leave my lungs.

The state appointed lawyer beside me picks at his nails, completely numb to the fact that we lost, that I would be stripped away from Ash, my son, for two years of his life. He would be left to Tommy.

"Oh god," I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"However, upon speaking to a few of our community's upstanding members during recess it has come to light what kind of person you truly are. I have been thoroughly promised that if you receive a lighter sentence, that of which I will explain in a moment, you will never, ever end up back in my courtroom. Is that true?"

The judge speaks but all I hear is a lighter sentence and my whole body perks up.

"Nod for yes, Miss Shepherd."

I nod.

"You will be required to complete a year of community service under the watchful eye of the folks up at Whiskey River. They run a program for troubled youth and horses. During this time you will have joint custody of your son as normal, with the requirement of a temporary guardian while you work off your probation. You are expected up there Monday morning at seven am. You may work out a schedule with the program lead," he shuffles around some papers on his desk. "Crew Cassidy."

I look back at Sheriff Cassidy in shock. His blonde hair is cut short around his ears but his eyes are still the intense blue color that had been burned into my memory for all these years. He swallows tightly, his Adam's apple bobbing beneath his tan uniform and he offers me a polite smile.

"Let me be very clear Miss Shepherd, if you step out of line, if you fail to meet your requirements or you anger anyone up there at the ranch. I will throw you in the correctional center and your son will be turned over to Mr. Henry with full custody, do you understand?" The judge asks.

"I understand sir." I choke out without hesitation.