Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

Eli

Today should have been one of the best days of my life, but instead, it's plagued with the unknown of what happened yesterday at the mall.

When I got home last night, I was reminded that we were meeting with Steve, an agent who is looking to represent me should I choose to enter the MLB draft this summer. The guy flew in from New York just to see me. It couldn't have been worse timing, but I put on my happy face and faked my way through the entire meeting.

I must have put on one hell of an act because he wants to take me on as a client and says I have a good shot of getting drafted just by the buzz he's already heard around me.

I've always dreamed of playing sports in college, but COVID really did a number on college athletics with players getting longer eligibility. Then, the NCAA changed the rules of players being able to enter themselves into the transfer portal, which makes it even harder for a player out of high school to get picked up anymore. I've heard college coaches ask why they should take a freshman when they could take a junior from the portal.

My coaches have said I have nothing to worry about with my size setting me apart from everyone else, but as of right now, I've had coaches talk to me for both baseball and football. No official offers though.

I was honestly waiting to see if that would help me make up my mind—seeing which sport I'd get an offer for to play first.

After Liza pointed my sticker out though, I've really thought about what it would mean to play football versus baseball. I love football because I play with Dalton, Ben, and Marcus. They are what make me love it, not the actual game. Baseball is the only sport I've done without them, playing for the national team, and I absolutely love it. No one else even wanted to try out, whereas, for me, it felt like a no-brainer.

I know without a doubt if I do play football in college, those guys won't be there. Dalton is supposed to go to Stanford—because his dad is making him, not necessarily because he wants to—and I don't think Ben wants to play at all. Marcus has a shot to continue, but the odds of us getting signed by the same school are pretty slim.

So, would I enjoy it without them?

When this agent reached out, I tried not to get my hopes up, but now that we've had this meeting, I'm even more excited. I could skip college and go straight to the MLB.

Now that he's gone, I can't wait to tell Liza. Secretly, I'm hoping this could be the good news we need to get us past last night.

She hasn't responded to my text messages from last night and then this morning, so I grab my keys, wanting to head out to take a drive and give her a call.

Before I go, my mom stops me. "Can we talk before you leave?"

I know my mom, and when she has this somber tone, I know something's up. She was just as over-the-moon excited as I was, so the change in her mood catches me off guard.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Let's go outside." She motions to where I was just heading, then walks out the door and sits down on the rocking chairs we have sitting on our porch. "Have a seat."

I do as she asked, not having a clue what's going on, so I stay silent until she speaks up.

"Where are you heading?"

"Nowhere, just out for a drive," I say, not lying since that is what I'm physically doing.

"So you can call Liza?"

My heart drops as I try to act unaffected by her words. My silence doesn't help my cause though.

She places her hand on mine. "I know you were in Billings with her yesterday."

I narrow my eyes. "How?"

"Because I'm your mother. I know you better than you think. I like that you've tried to be sly about it at least. I don't think your dad suspects anything."

"Then, how did you? Do you not trust me?"

"Well"—she opens her eyes wide, tilting her head—"you were lying to us, so you did give me a reason not to trust you."

"If you knew then, why did you let me go?"

"You know I just want to see you happy. I see how you're trying to keep it a secret and doing a decent job of it."

"Then, how did you know?"

She shrugs. "I pay attention. I know you're not texting someone named Melissa."

"Do you go through my phone?"

She shakes her head. "No, I don't. You're an adult, and I trust you. But like I said, I pay attention. You always play music when you come up our driveway. You haven't been every time you come home since school started. I'm guessing that's when you get to talk to her, which is exactly why you're leaving right now—to call her."

I stay silent, not wanting to tell her she's right even though she's spot-on.

"I knew you couldn't just stop your relationship with her as quickly as you did. I know you better than that. It breaks my heart that you guys can't be together. It really does. I've dreamed of you finding a girl like that."

"But?" I state, getting to the point.

My mom can be a little sappy at times, and I'm not in the mood to hear her say how much she likes Liza because that doesn't help my situation one bit.

She holds my hand tighter. "But you have to put a stop to it. You heard the agent today. There's a real chance you can get drafted. Were you listening when he talked about making sure your social media was clean and there was nothing they could dig up on you?"

I close my eyes, not wanting to hear it.

"If you guys get caught, you can kiss the MLB dream goodbye. That will be more than small-town gossip. And you know that."

I nod, letting out a breath in defeat.

Coaches warned me a girl could get in the way of me and my dreams, but I never imagined it would be this way.

My mom hugs me, knowing she doesn't need to keep talking. I heard what she said. Now, I just need to decide if I'm going to listen to her or not.

Liza

I've been locked in my room since I got home from Billings. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach about getting caught. If Maya tells just one person, we are beyond screwed. What will I do? Will I have to go back to California? I can't stay here, only to become the talk of these towns. I'm already milking off my aunt and uncle enough. If I don't have a job, I can't ask them to still take me in.

The thought of going back to California is almost worse than losing Eli altogether. I know if I move, then there is no way Eli and I can ever make it work. That would be a finalization between us that I can't risk.

I need to talk to someone, so I pick up the phone and call my mom. She thinks we ended our relationship, but it's time to tell her the truth because I need to talk this through with someone.

"Hello, mija ," she answers, and I instantly break down. "Whoa, what's wrong, baby?"

"Mom, we got caught, and if they tell anyone, my life is over," I say through my tears.

"Who got caught? Mija , you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"I didn't break it off with Eli, like I told you. We've been still texting and talking every day. We just want to be together, so we went to Billings, but one of his friends saw us together."

I hear the sound of disapproval with her deep sigh into the phone, making me want to die even more. I've listened to her vent about my sister for years. I was the good daughter, the one she didn't have to worry about, yet here I am, a teacher dating her student. She must be so disgusted with me right now.

"Love sucks, doesn't it?" she says to my surprise, making me let out a hard laugh.

"Yes, it does. You're not mad at me?"

" Mija , why would I be mad at you? I know the entire situation, and I know how much you loved that man. I didn't understand how you broke it off so easily. Now, I see that it's because you didn't." She laughs. "I'm sad you've been having to hide it, but I understand why."

"Eli says she'll keep it a secret, but how do we trust that?"

"You have to. Or if she does tell someone, you have to lie in the bed you made. You can't go back now."

"What if I lose my job?"

"Then, you'd better hope he gets drafted so he can take care of you," she says in a teasing voice.

"How do you know about that?"

"Are you kidding? Your dad's been following him since you first started dating. He knows he's nationally ranked. He knows his name is being thrown around as a prospect."

"How did I not know he was following him like that? I don't even really know of his prospects of being drafted."

"I think it gave him something to be excited about. With your sister's drama, Lord knows we need some good things to think about. We thought you broke it off, so it wasn't like he was going to mention it to you. He's finding his name in a lot of things though. The possibility is there, for sure."

"Which means …" I say, not wanting to admit it to myself.

"What?"

"Which means if we get caught, it could ruin it all for him …" I've been so focused on my career that I haven't thought about his.

She sighs. "I have no clue what that would mean for him. He's eighteen. You guys met before you were his teacher. In some people's eyes, it would still be a big deal. In others, maybe not."

My brain goes in a million different directions as I try to wrap my head around everything going on here. Every single thing says we cannot be together, but every single ounce of my soul wants him more than life itself.

It all makes zero sense.

"Try not to overthink it," Mom says, taking me from my thoughts. "Go day by day. What will be will be," she says with a sense of faith.

That's how she is with my sister. She always says she's in God's hands and that she has to have faith he will lead her in the right direction.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime, mija . I'm sorry you're in this situation, but it's only a season. If you guys are meant to be, you'll have the rest of your lives together. I can't wait to tell your dad though that you are still with him. He'll be excited to know we might have a ballplayer in the family!"

"Mom! You can't tell him!"

She laughs. "Who's he going to tell? Your secret is safe with us."

I drop my head to my chest. This is why we weren't telling a soul. Now, there are two, soon to be three, people who know. The phrase loose lips sinks ships was coined for a reason. Now, I'm putting our entire world in the hands of other people. This can't end well.

We say our goodbyes, and I quickly click on Eli—or Jake in my phone—to give him a call.

He answers on the first ring. "I was just getting in my car to call you."

"How come you never told me the chance of you getting drafted was truly a possibility?" I say, probably surprising the hell out of him that I'm focused on that rather than Maya, considering what we just went through.

"I told you, you were my escape from all of this."

"But that's a pretty big deal!" I say louder than I probably should. I know I'm redirecting my emotions from Maya here, but I need to, or I'll lose my mind.

"I'm sorry. You're right. But I was coming to call you because I just signed with an agent."

"You what?!"

"Yeah. A guy came to visit from New York today, and we just signed for him to represent me. It's looking like a real possibility."

"How could you not tell me that you were meeting with someone today? You obviously had that already planned."

He lets out a breath. "I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just wanted to be with you and not focus on anything else."

"I want to be there for you, Eli. Through everything."

"And I want you there too."

"Then, why do you keep things like this from me?"

"I don't do it on purpose. I just … I don't know, okay? I never talk about anything like this with anyone. I've never shared these types of things with even my friends. I've told you, I keep everything to myself."

"But I want to share these types of things with you. I want to be a part of your life."

"And I want you there too, which was exactly why I was going to call you right now. To tell you everything. I would have called you five minutes ago, but my mom stopped me."

"Stopped you?" I ask, not sure what he meant by that.

"She knows I was with you this weekend."

I drop my head back against my pillow.

How can we keep this a secret if more people keep finding out?

"You told her?" I ask, fighting back tears.

"She figured it out."

"And what did she say?"

"She's worried it could hurt my chances if people find out."

"So, what were you calling to tell me?" I ask, not sure if I want to hear what he will say in response.

"I was calling to tell you the good news about signing with an agent and nothing more."

"But, Eli?—"

"No buts. I'm not ending this with you."

"I can't be the reason your entire career is thrown off course."

"You're putting your career on the line. What's the difference if I put mine on the line for you?"

"There's a huge difference, and you know it. I'm a teacher. You're talking about the MLB."

"No. I'm talking about your dream versus my dream. There is no difference."

We sit in silence as I stare at the ceiling.

"I just don't know what to do," I finally say. "But I know we can't keep doing this. It will only hurt us if we get caught."

"We won't get caught."

"We already have. Just … just give me some time to come to terms with it, okay?" I hang up, knowing if I didn't right then, then I never would.

I curl into a ball and do the only thing I do have control over right now. I cry.