Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Amelia grew annoyed when Edmund started laughing instead of the reaction she had wanted. This was not what she expected at all. She had planned for Edmund to be embarrassed by the sight of her, annoyed even that she would choose such a horrible hat that didn’t match the outfit that she was wearing.

And instead of the reactions she had anticipated, Edmund was laughing.

This was the opposite of what she had wanted. She had managed to leave the house before her mother could stop her wearing the monstrosity that Amelia had concocted with Taylor, and now it seemed to be in vain.

“Forgive me, Amelia,” Edmund said when he finally stopped laughing. “I wasn’t expecting this at all. You’re full of surprises.”

“I…”

Amelia didn’t know what to say to that. She had planned to be rather short and standoffish with him to show that she didn’t want this, and now he had put her on the back foot. Edmund gestured toward the ducks that were moving about on the lake.

“Is it the ducks you were planning to feed or is it just any bird?”

“I…any, really.” Amelia pointed at a tree by the edge of the water. “Why don’t we go under there? I know the ducks flock more over there, and it’s cooler. This sun is far too hot.”

“As you wish.” Edmund held out his arm. “My lady.”

Amelia wanted to tell him to stop, that she could walk herself without needing him to guide her, but she had to be honest with himself—the hat was too heavy, and she was struggling to keep herself upright. It was harder than she expected, and probably the only issue with her plan.

Aside from the fact that Edmund found it amusing instead of embarrassing.

Muttering under her breath about how her plan wasn’t working, hoping that Edmund didn’t hear her, Amelia took his arm and allowed him to walk her down the slight slope toward the lake. Coming over here reminded her of what had happened five years ago when she met Edmund for the first time.

It sent a flutter through her as Amelia recalled how shocked she felt looking at Edmund back then, and the reaction was enough to cause her breath to catch. He had been handsome back then, and now he just seemed to have grown into it. It was remarkable how that could happen to someone.

She shouldn’t allow herself to become distracted like that. She had more important things to worry about, which was what she needed to focus on. This courtship couldn’t last; Amelia had to make sure it fell apart fast and then she could be left alone.

She didn’t feel a little bad doing this to Edmund, but if he was going to go into this courtship when he knew of her feelings about it, clearly he was up to something, Amelia was going to make him regret it. She wanted to see how easy it would be to push him away.

Of course, it was going to be difficult when she wanted to see Mathilda, and Edmund would be one of the people Amelia saw when visiting, but it would be his fault for trying to court her when he knew her thoughts on the matter. If he didn’t want this to be a disaster, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

They made their way to the tree, where there was a wooden bench. Amelia remembered this from previous walks; it was a perfect place to sit and have a quiet moment without being interrupted by someone else. It was rare to find a private area in a public place. While Amelia didn’t care what anyone thought about her, she wanted to get through this quickly and without many people paying them attention. The hat was certainly going to draw a lot of it.

Amelia sat on the bench first, and Edmund settled beside her, keeping a respectable distance between them. Trying not to feel relieved, Amelia took off the hat and felt the weight come off her neck and shoulders immediately. Edmund gave her an amused smile.

“Are you not keen on the hat, either?”

“I love it,” Amelia insisted, trying to keep up the pretense. “But it is very heavy. It takes some time for me to get used to it, which is why I haven’t worn it out much.”

“I can imagine. It doesn’t look very comfortable.”

“What do you think of it, though?”

“It’s… flamboyant.” Edmund coughed. “But I didn’t think it was something you would wear. You’re not someone I would associate with a hat like that.”

“I can be flamboyant when I want to be.”

“And you decided to choose today to be that day,” Edmund teased.

Amelia shrugged.

“It’s just one of those things, I guess. I saw it and decided this would be just ideal.”

Edmund didn’t look convinced about that, watching her with that curve to his mouth that was making Amelia’s heart flutter. She tried not to look into his gray eyes, thinking about how surprisingly bright and peaceful they seemed to be. How was that possible? Eyes like that were meant to be boring, dull, uninteresting. But that wasn’t the case with Edmund.

Amelia could tell that she was beginning to forget the plan, and she needed to focus. Looking away, she tried to collect herself. Taylor appeared at her side.

“Your hair, my lady,” she prompted.

“What? Oh.” Amelia put up a hand and found that her hair was sticking up on one side. It had gotten caught in something on the inside of the hat. “That’s just typical. Edmund, do you mind holding onto the hat while I sort myself out?”

“I can do better than that.” Edmund shifted closer. “Let me have a look.”

“What?”

“I’m used to helping my sister when her hair ends up getting messed up with her bonnets. I’m always fixing her hair because, as she claims, she never carries a mirror around with her.” Edmund peered at her head. “It doesn’t look too bad. Easy enough to fix.”

Amelia wanted to protest and tell him to stop, but she found herself wanting him to touch her. Even if it was just her hair, she wanted to feel his touch on her skin.

She pushed that away when she felt her face growing warm, and she averted her gaze.

“Just do it quickly,” she said sharply. “Otherwise, I’m going to look like a fool.”

“You didn’t think you looked like a fool with your ridiculous hat on?” Edmund asked, amusement in his voice.

“Edmund…”

“All right, I’ll stop.”

Edmund’s fingers were light as they brushed against Amelia’s hair, taking out the pins that Taylor had put in that morning. Amelia tried not to flinch as the tips scraped against her scalp, but then Edmund was putting them back in, being more gentle about it.

His face was closer to hers, seeming to be focused on what he was doing, but Amelia could feel the tickle of his breath on her cheek, see the gray of his eyes swirling around. Up this close, they looked more silver than anything else. Amelia found that she wanted to lean in, just to see what would happen.

But that would defeat the idea of what she was trying to do. She was meant to make him run away, not flirt with him. Then again, if she did that he would more than likely back off; he wouldn’t be expecting something like that, particularly if Amelia came onto him too strong.

However, she didn’t think that she was confident enough to do that. It was best just to leave it alone. Amelia didn’t want to get herself further into this mess.

It was just a few quick moments later that Edmund smoothed down the side of her head and sat back.

“There. No harm done.”

“Thank you.”

Amelia was caught off-guard with that. It was such a sweet gesture to help her that she didn’t know what to do after that. Her plan had gone drastically different to what it was supposed to do, and Amelia was panicking that it was not going to happen at all. Taylor touched a hand to her shoulder, giving her a silent nod of encouragement. Her maid knew what was going on, and while she didn’t like what her mistress was planning, she was on her side.

Amelia needed that right now.

“Lord Silverton! What a delight to see you again!”

Amelia jumped when she heard a voice off to their right, and then she saw a familiar young lady walking toward them, with a plump, raven-haired woman who looked to be a maid hurrying behind her. It took her a moment to recognize Lady Colette Reed, the girl from the ball Edmund had been dancing with and who had been practically hanging onto Edmund all evening.

That gave her an idea. This would work far better than what she had been trying to do.

Edmund got to his feet and bowed. He looked a little unsure of what was going on.

“Lady Colette, good morning. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Oh, we go for a walk here often.” Lady Colette glanced at Amelia, looking as if she intended to barely give her any attention. Then she blinked and stared at the hat in Amelia’s lap. “What on earth is that?”

“We were just planning on feeding the ducks,” Amelia spoke quickly as she stood up, snatching the pouch of seeds Edmund had put on the bench and shoving it into Lady Colette’s hands. “Why don’t you do that with him? It’s a sweet activity, and the ducks do love the seeds.”

Edmund stared at her in confusion.

“You’re leaving? I thought we arranged this…”

“Well, I forgot about something, and I have to get back as soon as possible. It can’t wait, I’m afraid.” Amelia gestured at Lady Colette, who looked equally startled. “Why don’t you feed the ducks with Lady Colette here? I’m sure she would be delighted to get your attention. Anyway, I’ll be off, my lord. Good day.”

Amelia curtsied quickly and hurried away, not bothering to put the heavy hat on her head. Taylor caught up with her and they fell into a quick stride together.

“That was…interesting,” she said out of the corner of her mouth.

“Not how I planned for it to go,” Amelia replied grimly. “He shouldn’t have reacted like that. But at least I can get rid of him now.”

Taylor looked back and then she turned to face forward with a slight smile on her face.

“I don’t think you’re going to get rid of him anytime soon.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he’s still watching you.”

“What?”

“He’s staring after you, and that Lady Colette is trying to get his attention, but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything.” Taylor’s smile turned into a smirk. “It looks as if you had more of an impression than you expected.”

Amelia groaned. This was not what she wanted. She was going to have to figure out how to get rid of him without getting into serious trouble.

She needed to change her tactics, anything to get Edmund to leave her, and then she could go back to normal.

***

“Oh, these are beautiful!” The Duchess of Blackwood gave a gasp of pleasure when she unwrapped the gift, pushing away the delicate tissue paper. “You didn’t need to get these for us, Lady Amelia.”

“I always go with gifts when someone has invited me to tea,” Amelia said, feeling a wash of pleasure seeing the delight on the older woman’s face. “I like to think that they’re personalized gifts, something that fits with the host or hostess.”

“And you certainly chose well.” Lady Blackwood picked up the painting and turned it toward the light, inspecting it closely. “This is so delicately done. Who was the artist?”

“It’s actually one of the children my family’s charity sponsors,” Amelia admitted. “She’s twelve years old, and she has an affinity for art. We’re in the process of getting her art into a gallery.”

Lady Blackwood looked stunned at that.

“A twelve-year-old painted this?”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“Well, she has a lot of talent. This is remarkable.” Lady Blackwood turned to the maid standing nearby. “Beatrice, could you ask Mrs. Haskell if she could put this up in my bedchamber?”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

As the maid left, Amelia turned her attention to Mathilda, who was still marveling over her gift. For her and Edmund, Amelia had bought kites. She had been into Limehouse, where there was a community of people from the far east in Asia, and had met a lovely gentleman from China who made kites with pretty designs on them.

Amelia had been delighted with what she saw, and she had bought three kites. One had her name written in the Chinese language, which looked gorgeous; another had a lotus flower on it, and the third had a painted dragon.

Now Mathilda had the kite with the lotus flower, while Edmund would be given the kite with the dragon curled across the fabric. Amelia had contemplated whether she should give Edmund a gift, given what had been going on between them, but it would have been rude to ignore him when she got something for the rest of his family. Even the duke would be given a box of cigars; Amelia hadn’t been sure what to get him, so she had improvised.

“I love this,” Mathilda said, looking up at Amelia. “It’s gorgeous. Where did you get it?”

“From a gentleman who made and designed them here in London. He was such a nice man that I couldn’t help myself.”

“Mathilda told me that you met when you were flying a kite, Lady Amelia,” Lady Blackwood said. “It sounds like you still enjoy the pastime.”

Amelia shrugged.

“I will admit that I haven’t done it lately. I’ve been too busy with the charity. So it’s more like I collect them than anything else. And these are just perfect for your children.”

Lady Blackwood laughed.

“I’m wondering if I’m going to come outside one day and find both of my children flying said kites. Especially this one.” She winked at Mathilda. “She is still a child, so it can be refreshing, but it does rub off on Edmund a bit too much.”

“And?” Mathilda laughed. “What’s wrong with being young at heart?”

“Well, it doesn’t help in certain situations. Like his childhood friends who get him into trouble. I keep telling your brother that he needs to find better friends, or get them to mature, but he doesn’t seem prepared to do either.”

Amelia had a feeling that the duchess was talking about the young men she saw at the ball that night, including John Sutton. She wondered if she should ask the older woman about it and relay her concerns about what Edmund was up to. But Amelia decided against it; she wanted to find out for herself what was going on.

And, much as she didn’t want to admit it too much, she wanted to spend time with Edmund, and that would be greatly reduced if she brought his mother in on her suspicions. Amelia could still remember how Edmund fixed her hair the day before at the park, how close he had been to her, how gentle his touch had been, and how his eyes seemed to suck her in when she looked.

It made her regret leaving as she did a little bit, but Amelia was also relieved. If she had chosen to stay, Lady Colette wouldn’t have left them alone. It was clear that she had some designs on Edmund and wanted to be around him, even though it would have been impolite that she joined their outing when it was supposed to be a private moment.

Had Edmund told anyone that he was courting Amelia now? Or was it just between him and his friends? Amelia couldn’t see Edmund’s parents not knowing about this. But she decided not to say anything about it. That was up to him.

“Do you mind if I show Lady Amelia the garden, Mother?” Mathilda asked suddenly. “It’s such a lovely day, and Father and Edmund haven’t returned yet.”

“I was going to say we could carry on without them, but I think that might be a good idea.” Lady Blackwood stood, the two girls following her actions. “In fact, why don’t I get everything set out on the terrace? It’s in the shade, and the weather is lovely today.”

“Are you sure, Your Grace?” Amelia asked.

“Of course, dear. Anyway, I’ll ask that the tea is switched to lemonade. It’s going to be too warm for a cup of tea, I’m sure.” Lady Blackwood gave Amelia a warm smile that made her eyes twinkle. “You two go and enjoy the sunshine. I’ll be with you shortly.”

Grinning, Mathilda took Amelia’s arm and led her through the house, heading outside. Amelia tried not to gasp at the gorgeous garden. They were in a townhouse, but it was a very grand one, wider and bigger than what Amelia had seen before. It meant that the garden was pretty big as well, and the gardeners had made the most of the space. It was like going to the botanical gardens.

“I love taking a walk out here,” Mathilda said, leading Amelia along a narrow, winding path. “It’s not as big as the park, but it’s a delight. I can take a book and escape here for a long time.”

“It’s certainly magnificent,” Amelia admitted. “Are you going to show me where?”

“Yes.” Mathilda pointed. “Look, over there.”

It was an apple tree, in full bloom, with the boughs spread with thick green leaves. There was soft grass underneath, with the occasional apple having fallen. It was a type of sitting place, and while perfect, a person needed to crawl to get to it. It was just the type of place Amelia would have loved when she was younger, to just hide away and not worry about anyone else.

“Come along! If you don’t mind getting your skirt a little smudged by grass stains,” Mathilda said, getting down onto her knees and starting to crawl. “We won’t be disturbed in here. If anyone comes looking, we’ll be hidden.”

“What if your mother comes looking for us?”

“She knows where I am if she wants us. Anyway, it’s not like we’re going to run out of the garden gate at the back of the garden.”

Amelia had to admit that she felt a little intrigued here. She wanted to see where this girl’s favorite hiding spot was, but she shouldn’t be crawling around under apple trees. Nevertheless, she wanted to stay with Mathilda and get to know her more. The girl was a breath of fresh air.

Shifting onto her knees, she began to crawl after Mathilda. The branches lowered a little, but then they curved up, and there was more space by the trunk. It looked like there was a little makeshift seat out of the roots and the side of the tree. Mathilda shifted around and leaned back against the bark.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“It’s very cool in here.” Amelia sat beside her, trying to get comfortable with the bark tickling her back. “And secluded. You wouldn’t think you were in London if you sat here.”

“Except for the smell,” Mathilda said, wrinkling her nose. “You wouldn’t be able to get away from that.”

Amelia sniffed, and then her eyes watered at the smell. God, a scent that was the worst she had ever smelled wafted past her nostrils, and she had smelled some disgusting things in the past.

“Dear God, what is that?”

“That’s the tannery. It’s a couple of miles away, but when the wind is blowing in the right direction, you can smell everything.” Mathilda giggled. “Or we might class it as the wrong direction.”

“Tannery? That’s where they make leather, isn’t it?” Amelia retrieved her handkerchief. “Why does it stink so much?”

“They use urine.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Mathilda laughed.

“After the hides of cows are de-haired and cleaned, they are dunked into pools of water and urine, which is heated up. That softens it so they can turn it into leather.”

Amelia had heard about tanneries, but she had never asked how their wares were made. Now she wished that she had because her stomach was churning at the images that Mathilda had put into her head. She wiped her eyes with her handkerchief.

“God, that’s just disgusting. Fascinating, but disgusting.”

“It’s how things are. People have to do foul jobs to make something so fascinating.”

“How do you know about all of this, Mathilda? Ladies aren’t normally taught something like that.”

“Father knows all about it, and he told Edmund and I when we were children. He has investments in everything, and he does his best to make sure the workers are looked after.”

“That’s good of him,” Amelia murmured.

She had an opinion about Blackwood, but it was only because of what her father had said. He wasn’t particularly keen on the duke, for some reason, and Downe would complain about him within earshot. Which made him giving Edmund his blessing to court Amelia all the more surprising.

At least he and her mother had been quiet about Amelia finally having interest from a male suitor. But they had been smiling a lot, which was annoying for Amelia. She wasn’t their pet project.

“By the way,” Mathilda began, her smile fading a little, “I just want you to know that I don’t believe what everyone says about you. And I’ve heard a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

Mathilda bit her lip.

“Well…people say that you’re…eccentric and strange. That you don’t like things everyone else does, and whenever someone tries to talk to you, you’re ice-cold and harsh. You seem to think that you’re above everyone else. Which I don’t believe,” she added quickly. “I think you’re a really nice and interesting person. It’s just what everyone else has been saying.”

Amelia saw the discomfort coming from the girl and gave her a smile.

“You don’t need to worry about it, Mathilda. I’m very aware of what people think of me. They consider me odd for wanting to be different instead of following what everyone else does. It’s annoying, but if they’re going to complain about something daft like that, let them.”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Oh, I might. I’m just not interested in trying to change their minds.” Amelia picked at the grass, running her fingers across the soft blades.

“It’s not easy being yourself and having a personality that makes you stand out. In Society, it makes you a target because you don’t want to conform. I did try to fit in at first, but I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I wanted people to see who I really was, and if they didn’t appreciate that I was showing the genuine way that I am, then that was their problem, not mine.”

Mathilda looked curious, tilting her head to one side.

“Why do people say that you’re a cold woman, then? Because you’re anything but cold from what I’ve seen.”

“It’s coming from people who don’t have me bowing down to them, that’s all. The ladies chat about everything mundane, not seeming to have any interests of their own that would make them stand out. And the gentlemen…” Amelia pursed her lips.

“They’re just annoyed that I didn’t accept their advances, that I don’t want to hang off their every word while they try to show off to me. I’m just making sure that they’re not wasting their time. Unfortunately, it means that word got around about how cold and stiff I am, and I’ve been called a few things that would make your ears burn.”

“They never got to know the real person,” Mathilda said.

“Pretty much.”

“Well, I hope we can become friends, especially once I enter Society myself.” There was some hope in Mathilda’s voice. “I think you’re good fun, and you’re very interesting. I would like to know you better.”

Amelia managed a small smile, but she didn’t respond to that. It was going to be hard to be friends with Mathilda after she dealt with the situation regarding Edmund. Mathilda probably didn’t know about it yet, but if she did, she might be hoping that Amelia might become her sister one day.

She didn’t want to get the girl’s hopes up, not when she was using Edmund’s offer of courtship to her advantage.

“Anyway,” she said brightly, trying to change the subject away, “what do you think is going to happen to you? Do you have anyone in mind as a particular fancy?”

“What?” Mathilda blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Just because you’re not out in Society yet doesn’t mean you don’t have a little infatuation or romantic feelings toward someone.”

Mathilda stared, her cheeks turning a dark pink as she blushed.

“I…I wasn’t expecting that.”

“From your reaction, I’m guessing that the answer is yes.”

Mathilda bit her lip. Then she looked down at her hands.

“Well, there is someone…but you cannot tell anyone about it. It’s just a silly little thing, and I don’t want to deal with the embarrassment if he finds out about it.”

“I won’t tell a soul.” Amelia made the gesture of putting her finger to her lips. “You don’t have to worry about that from me, Mathilda. I promise.”

“Well…” Mathilda hesitated, and then it all came out in a rush. “I’ve liked Lord John Sutton for some time now.”

The name took Amelia by surprise.

“John Sutton?”

“Yes. He’s been friends with Edmund for years, and he’s been so kind to me. He’s really nice, and very handsome.” Mathilda’s face was turning even pinker. “But I know he only sees me as a child, nothing more. If I told him how I felt, I would be really embarrassed by his rejection. Have you met him?”

Amelia wondered how to say this without upsetting the girl. She chose her words carefully.

“He did try to charm me a while ago, but I turned him down. And he’s very angry about it, from what I’ve seen since.”

“Why would he be angry?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s not been rejected before?” Amelia shrugged. “I can’t be blamed for him having bruised his pride because I turned him down. Besides, he and I wouldn’t have gotten along. Maybe you see something in him that I don’t, but he’s not someone for me.”

Mathilda looked at her with an expression that Amelia couldn’t quite read. But then she smiled, her expression warm.

“I do admire you, Amelia.”

“How so?”

“You’re so confident, sure of yourself and what you want. I wish I could be like that. It’s not easy to be that way, with everyone wanting you to be just like the person next to you. That’s not how to live your life, is it?”

“That’s how I’ve been seeing it. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, but it’s difficult to do that in a public space.”

“But you lose a sense of yourself if you end up becoming a horrible person in public. How can anyone see the true you if they’re not given a chance to fall for the real man or woman that you are?”

Amelia smiled. There was something open-minded and innocent about Mathilda that she liked. She was sweet, and Amelia felt a sisterly affection toward her.

Maybe things would still be all right between them once it got out that Amelia and Edmund were courting, and once Amelia had dealt with the courtship in her own way. Mathilda would understand.

“Mathilda! Lady Amelia!” The voice of Lady Blackwood reached their ears. “Come on out! Your father and brother are here now.”

Mathilda sighed.

“I suppose we’d better go and join them before we have a search party looking for us.” She squeezed Amelia’s arm. “I hope you can keep visiting us. I would like us to remain friends.”

Amelia managed to maintain her smile, although she wasn’t entirely sure if they would be able to keep their friendship if Mathilda knew what was really going on.