Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“Are you sure about this, my lady?” Taylor asked as she finished putting the final touches to Amelia’s hair.

“Not really.” Amelia checked her hair in the mirror, satisfied that it was all in one place. “But I have to keep going. I can’t stop it now.”

“You can. You can just say, ‘No, no more. I don’t want to carry on with this.”

“Do you think Father is going to allow me to break off this courtship if I just say so? He would tell me that I have to stop behaving like a child, and I shouldn’t walk away without a good reason.”

“But isn’t not wanting to get married enough of a good reason?” Taylor questioned with a frown, watching as her mistress crossed the room to the door. “Surely you should be allowed to end the courtship, for whatever reason you want.”

Amelia sighed, opening the door before turning back to her maid.

“It’s more complicated than that. You know that as well as I do.”

“It just feels like you can’t win in this no matter what you do. It’s just madness.”

“You have no idea,” Amelia muttered to herself as she left the room.

This courtship was continuing to be a headache and in more ways than one. Amelia wanted to do something mad and outrageous to push Edmund away and make him break off the courtship, but at the same time, she didn’t want to. She actually wanted to spend time with him doing something different. Something where they weren’t surrounded by other people. Those moments were good fun, and Amelia liked being around Edmund.

She couldn’t deny it any longer. Her feelings had grown, and they were getting to the point where Amelia was beginning to think differently about becoming an unmarried woman with no intentions of having a husband.

That was scary; Amelia had never thought any man would turn her head enough that she would wander from her stance. That was surreal, and it didn’t feel right at all. And yet, at the same time, it did. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to fall in love with Edmund. Her thoughts were all over the place, and Amelia didn’t like it.

She had been so firm in her decision, that she was going to never be swayed by anyone. And yet Edmund had the ability to make Amelia change her mind. She really didn’t like that she was able to shift her stance so easily.

That was not good.

Lady Downe was in the foyer getting her coat and hat on as Amelia came downstairs.

“Are you going out, Mother?” Amelia asked.

“I’m going to see a couple of friends for morning tea. Then we’re going to have a walk around a few art galleries.” Her mother smiled at her. “Would you like to come with us, Amelia?”

Amelia couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“I suppose I do.” Lady Downe shrugged. “But I thought I might as well ask. Anyway, any plans for you today? Are you seeing Lord Silverton today?”

Amelia bit her lip, wishing that she didn’t have to have this conversation now. Not when her thoughts were all over the place.

“He’s coming by shortly. We’re going to just spend time in the garden.”

“I see.” The marchioness looked curious at that. “Well, I hope you enjoy yourself. You can tell me about it when I get back.”

Amelia didn’t respond. She didn’t want to tell her mother anything about her impending visit with Edmund. It was going to result in her parents talking about how nice and polite Edmund was, and how he was actually a good fit for her. Amelia wasn’t about to listen to that.

She hurried away from her mother, stepping out onto the terrace and letting the sun touch her skin. The servants already knew about the visit, so they had set up a blanket with a low table in the shade under a tree, along with a few cushions to make it comfortable. Taylor would be along shortly to join them, sitting a little further away to give Amelia and Edmund some semblance of privacy.

She was looking forward to this, in spite of everything. Amelia couldn’t believe that she was actually looking at this meeting with excitement. Although she couldn’t fight away the nerves that were building in her stomach. It felt like she had gone to the butterfly house and smuggled some away inside her.

What was it about courting, even if it was unwanted, that was so difficult. It brought out a lot of conflicting feelings about everything. Amelia didn’t want to feel like this. She wanted to be on her own.

Even then, saying that over and over again, it was beginning to sound hollow.

As she settled onto the cushions and lay back to stare at the green canopy above her, Amelia thought back to the evening before when she had dinner at Edmund’s home. It was a wonderful evening, and Amelia had enjoyed herself, much to her surprise.

Edmund’s family were lovely as always, and his aunt, Lady Babington, was such a nice woman. Amelia was glad that his family approved of her, although she suspected that they wouldn’t approve if she ended up revealing what she had been planning.

Edmund had been sitting next to her during dinner, and apart from Mathilda, Amelia barely remembered anyone else. She and Edmund had talked about pretty much anything, wrapping themselves up in their conversation. Amelia knew a lot of things about him already, but now she understood him more. They had a lot more in common than either of them had realized. Also, having Edmund laugh while they were talking made Amelia want to hear it more.

Of course, they did have the problem of Lord Sutton and Lady Colette still being in the room. They had been sitting next to each other at the far end of the table, and from the looks the two of them kept throwing toward Amelia, they were not happy with the situation. Amelia wondered what had been said between them.

She was aware of Edmund giving Lady Colette what looked like a dressing down, and she was upset by whatever he had said. Even so, Edmund must have had an effect on her because she kept her distance for the rest of the evening, although she didn’t stop scowling in Amelia’s direction. Amelia just ignored her; she wasn’t interested in dealing with that child.

More than likely, she was upset that Edmund was paying Amelia more attention. That was fair enough, but it was just ridiculous. Then again, wasn’t what Amelia had tried to do ridiculous? She was the one who wanted Edmund to run away and feel disgusted by her behavior. The object of her plan was to get him to walk away. Wouldn’t finding another woman attractive be just as ideal?

It should be, and yet Amelia didn’t want that to happen.

Maybe she shouldn’t have suggested that they spend time having tea so soon after the dinner. Amelia needed time to process her thoughts and get it all sorted properly. And yet she couldn’t do it. The thought of not being with Edmund made her panic a little.

Amelia wished that Margaret was here. She would know what to do. Amelia needed someone with a level head to figure out what to do and how they were going to get out of this. She certainly didn’t know where to go from this.

Giving herself space from Edmund was a good idea, but Amelia couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“My lady?”

Amelia jumped, opening her eyes to see Taylor leaning over her, her face blocking out the canopy. Her maid was frowning at her. Amelia blinked.

“What is it?”

“You fell asleep,” Taylor said gently. “Lord Silverton has just arrived.”

“Really?” Amelia sat up slowly, and covered her mouth as she yawned. “I didn’t realize I fell asleep. I must have been more tired than I thought.”

Taylor gave her a sympathetic smile before straightening up.

“You’ve been doing a lot lately. I don’t think you’ve had time to rest properly.”

“Maybe you’re right. Where did you say Lord Silverton was?”

“He’s just come in through the front door.” Taylor looked over her shoulder. “Here he comes now. I thought you might not want him to see you like that.”

“Thank you, Taylor.” Amelia reached up and checked that her hair was in place. “Although it shouldn’t matter. Lord Silverton wouldn’t mind if he saw me like this.”

“Well, I think you might mind this time around.” Taylor grinned. “You were snoring, after all.”

“What? I don’t snore!”

“Do you not? I’ll believe you, for now, my lady.”

Amelia groaned and swatted her maid’s arm.

“You really shouldn’t say things like that, Taylor. That’s not helpful.”

“Forgive me, Lady Amelia. It was not my intention to embarrass you.” But Taylor’s eyes were still twinkling as she straightened up. “Do you want me to sit nearby while you’re with the Earl of Silverton?”

“Yes, that would be ideal.” Amelia picked up one of the cushions and handed it to her. “Take this and make yourself comfortable. And don’t stay out in the sun for too long. It’s going to be a hot day today from what I can tell.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, my lady.” Taylor glanced over her shoulder. “But you might need to worry about yourself instead.”

“Why do you say that?”

But Taylor didn’t respond. She simply gave Amelia a nod and turned away with a smile on her face. That left Amelia confused. What was going on there? Why was her maid acting strangely?

However, she didn’t have much time to think about that because Edmund was walking toward her across the grass. She felt her heart flutter again and it made her head feel a little light, making her glad that she was sitting down. What was it about him that made Edmund look different? How did he seem to be better looking? Was that even possible? Amelia had seen him quite a lot since they reconnected, and he hadn’t done anything different to himself. Then she wondered if that meant anything.

Of course, it didn’t; it was all in her head. Even so, why was she feeling like she was meeting someone really important for the first time? Edmund was just a friend who was trying to push her into something she didn’t want, for whatever reason. Why should Amelia see him any other way?

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all, but Amelia couldn’t bring herself to send him away.

“Amelia.” Edmund greeted her with a warm smile as he bowed, only to duck again as he moved under the lower branches. “I trust you are well.”

“I’m perfectly fine. I just wanted to make the most of the sun.” Amelia gestured at the cushions beside her. “Do you want to come and join me? There’s a nice breeze that comes along this way, and you get a beautiful view of the garden.”

“I can’t argue with that.” Edmund settled onto the grass beside her, stretching out his legs and looking at the colorful blooms that made up Amelia’s garden. “Whenever I move outside the city limits, I have to remind myself that it’s simply the same country, and I haven’t gone far.”

Amelia laughed.

“I know. It does feel rather strange, doesn’t it? We love it, though, and it’s only a short carriage ride to head into London, so why wouldn’t we make the most of the space and the quiet?”

“I’m surprised you don’t want to live in a townhouse in London, though.”

“It’s Mother, really. She liked the peace and quiet. And the smell…” Amelia wrinkled her nose. “Anywhere you go in London you can smell whatever factory is close by, and it’s not nice. Mother hates it.”

“I don’t blame her. Even when you get used to it, the smell never really loses its potency. It’s always in your nostrils.” Edmund sat up and leaned toward the tea tray on the low table. “Do you want me to pour, or are you doing it?”

“I’ll do it.” Amelia suddenly remembered her manners. “What sort of host would I be if you were serving tea yourself?”

“I don’t mind…”

“I know Mother’s not here, but she wouldn’t be happy if she knew what I was doing.” Amelia picked up the teapot. “Just be careful. I don’t want to splash hot water all over you.”

Part of her remembered that she had Taylor, and that Taylor would do it for them, but Amelia decided to do it herself. She wasn’t completely incompetent, and pouring tea was simple enough.

Although part of her wished that she had asked her maid when she almost poured the tea onto her hand and on the tray. Amelia concentrated, hoping that it was because of the heat coming from the teapot and not because her hands were trembling. If Edmund saw that, he didn’t say anything. He simply watched her with an easy smile.

Once they were sipping their tea, Amelia was glad that she hadn’t done anything too embarrassing. Edmund shifted the cushions to lean back against the trunk of the tree, stretching his legs out with a sigh.

“Now that feels better. I like the idea of sitting out here and watching the world go by.”

“There are days when I want to do that, and I love that I can do it out here.”

“You certainly can’t do this in London. Even in our own homes, people are bustling around and keep bothering us. Out here…” Edmund gestured with his teacup. “It just feels like paradise. Such tranquility. I wish I had this myself.”

“Don’t you have it at your country home?” Amelia asked.

“We do, but somehow it’s not like this.”

Amelia didn’t believe that, but Edmund sounded so fervent about that. She glanced over at Taylor, who was sitting on a cushion just underneath the tree, keeping a respectable distance but looking over in their direction. Her maid wouldn’t object too much if Amelia did what she planned.

Moving the cushions around to pad her back, she leaned against the trunk herself. She kept some space between herself and Edmund, but she could still feel the heat from his body. It made her want to lean into him and relax, resting her head on his shoulder.

That would really be bold, and Amelia really wanted to do it.

***

Edmund didn’t think he had been this comfortable in a long time. It was fun and he liked it, and he had only just sat down. Amelia made it feel like there was a weight off his shoulders.

Of course, in the back of his mind, he was still aware of the bet hanging over him, and that it needed to stop, but Edmund couldn’t stop himself from seeing Amelia again. They had parted ways the night before, and yet Edmund wanted to see her so soon. So when Amelia asked to meet him the next day, he had said yes, instead of suggesting that they give it a couple of days. But Edmund was too eager.

He knew that this was going to end badly for him, especially if Amelia didn’t know the truth about what was going on, and he couldn’t help himself. It was on the horizon, telling him that he was going to have to reveal everything to her soon, but Edmund wasn’t able to. He didn’t want to lose Amelia with this lie.

But he was going to lose her if he continued this any longer.

Amelia sipped her tea, and Edmund noticed that her hands were trembling a little.

“Are you all right? You seem a little out of sorts.”

“Hmm? Oh.” Amelia cleared her throat and sat forward, placing the cup and saucer on the table. “I was just…I guess I’m still a little tired.”

Edmund chuckled.

“You did leave our home rather late, didn’t you? I was surprised that you and your parents stayed as long as you did.”

“We were having a good time, that’s all.”

“Even though you don’t like social gatherings?” Edmund asked, peering at Amelia. “You said that they made you very uncomfortable.”

“And I was uncomfortable.” Amelia’s cheeks went a little pink, and she glanced away. “However, I did enjoy myself. It’s rare that I’m around a group of people who don’t seem to be judgmental and know how to make me feel welcome. Your mother and aunt are certainly like that.”

Edmund felt pleased hearing that. Lady Blackwood had said once Amelia and her family had left that she really liked Amelia, that she was a sweet, intelligent woman. The duke was pleased with Edmund’s choice, telling him that he had picked well, and should they ever marry he would happily give his blessing. That last part made Edmund want to squirm. He didn’t want to think past the bet, but he knew that it needed to happen. It was not fair to Amelia to prolong this.

And Edmund had a gut feeling that someone knew about this. Lady Babington had spoken highly of Amelia as well, but toward the end of the evening, after Amelia had gone and his aunt was heading back to her townhouse, she had pulled Edmund aside and asked if something was wrong.

Apparently, she had noticed something between Edmund and Amelia, and she wanted to know if there was something Edmund needed help with. Edmund had said that things were fine, and she didn’t need to worry about anything, but Lady Babington didn’t look convinced. She had to know that something was going on.

Edmund doubted that his aunt would be too happy about the bet, either. If they were alone, she would certainly smack him around the head and scold him for doing something that could ruin many reputations, not just his and Amelia’s. And Edmund knew that he would deserve it.

God, this was going to get even more tangled than it already was. What had he been thinking?

Well, it was too late now. Edmund was knee-deep in it all, and sinking fast. He needed to figure out how to pull himself to safety and sort out the damage.

But not just yet. He wanted to spend time with Amelia in this relaxed setting.

“What happened with you and Lady Colette?” Amelia asked suddenly.

“I beg your pardon?” Edmund blinked. “Lady Colette?”

“You said something to her yesterday, didn’t you? She was glaring at me a lot during dinner, and she and her parents left relatively early. I saw her try to talk to you a few times, but you actively looked away.” Amelia shrugged. “I wondered if you two had had an argument. I know the pair of you are friends.”

Edmund frowned.

“I wouldn’t call us friends. More like acquaintances.”

“Well, I think she would prefer it if you were more than a friend, to be honest. I’ve seen the way she behaves around you.” Amelia gave him a slight smile. “She likes you, I can tell.”

Edmund sighed.

“I have suspected that. But I don’t see her that way. She’s merely an acquaintance, and she’s becoming…rather annoying.”

“How so?”

Edmund debated on if he should tell her about what Lady Colette had said. Amelia would, quite rightfully, get angry at that, but what could she do? Edmund had already scolded Lady Colette about what she said, and hopefully, she was taking his words to heart.

“She just said something that made me upset. I had to put her in her place.”

“Sounds like it was more than a little thing,” Amelia commented.

“I suppose.”

“Did she declare her love for you or something?” Amelia teased. “Did she say that she would be a better lady for you instead of me?”

Edmund tried not to wince, which made Amelia laugh.

“That’s not funny,” he chided.

“Forgive me, but it was the look on your face.” Amelia put a hand over her mouth, giggles coming out. “Anyway, it’s pretty obvious that Lady Colette likes you. She wants your attention, and yet she doesn’t have it. I bet she said something unkind about myself in a way to put me down to you.”

Edmund’s mouth fell open.

“How…how are you aware of that?”

“I was right about that?” Amelia’s giggles escaped again. “I must get myself a crystal ball and start reading fortunes. That’s far too good.”

“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s a little scary that you figured out what Lady Colette was up to.”

Amelia shrugged.

“Well, it’s not like it’s difficult to figure out. I know that she’s not happy you have your attention on me instead of her, and I’m fully aware that Lady Colette doesn’t like me. What she’s doing is exactly what any other lady who wants to go to war with the object of her affection’s desires would do. It’s very predictable.”

Edmund didn’t know what to say to that for a moment. He thought it over, and could see things with Collette being just as Amelia described.

“I…I don’t know how she thinks it would work,” he said.

“Maybe she thinks that you’re shallow enough to change your mind when you and I have been courting for a while? I don’t know. I’ve not been put in that position.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. You’re the one who doesn’t want to get married.” Edmund arched an eyebrow at her. “You don’t like the idea of being married when there are more negatives than positives, and you would rather spend the rest of your life as a spinster.”

To his surprise, Amelia’s smile faded a little, and she shifted a bit on the cushions. What had just happened there?

“I suppose,” she said quietly.

“What was that? You don’t sound so sure anymore.”

“I…” Amelia gulped and glanced away. “I’m afraid that I’m not so certain about it anymore. I don’t understand why, but it’s happening.”

Edmund felt his heart lifting at that. She was reconsidering spinsterhood? Part of him wanted to show his excitement and punch the air, but he stopped himself in time. He wasn’t about to be so callous about Amelia changing her mind about spinsterhood.

In the beginning, it had been dropped in every other conversation to the point that Edmund wanted her to stop; she had made her point. But in recent meetings, that had disappeared and Amelia looked more comfortable with herself. The standoffish attitude had gone.

If she had been trying to get him upset to make him leave, it wasn’t going to happen, but having her stop made him feel a little more relaxed.

A tweeting above his head made Edmund look up, and he saw two birds sitting on a branch. They looked like they were having a fight, but it also looked as if there was a lot of affection. Did birds have an argument with their other half as well?

Amelia giggled when she looked up as well.

“Looks like the wife is upset with her husband.”

“What makes you think that’s what is happening?”

“It’s always the way. I know it will be for any marriage.”

“Even though the husband is always the one in charge?” Edmund asked.

Amelia snorted at that.

“Don’t be daft. Of course, it’s the wife. A good man always has a good wife to keep him on the right path, the one who’s there when he comes home from work and needs someone to talk to. The one who keeps everything in order to make sure it doesn’t come falling down.”

Edmund watched her in bemusement.

“If you hadn’t met already, I would ask if you had ever encountered my aunt.”

Amelia grinned.

“She actually told that to me last night.”

“Why am I not surprised? How did you get on to talking about that?”

“I can’t remember. But it stuck with me.” Amelia looked back up at the birds, who were now dancing along the branch. “It looks like they’ve made up, at least. They’re not pecking each other now.”

“You think the fight has stopped now?”

“I’m sure. But you have to learn to put things behind you when you’re together for the rest of your life. And birds mate for life. They never look at another bird.”

Edmund watched her thoughtfully. He then realized that he had shifted a little closer, and now his face was inches from hers. Amelia hadn’t appeared to have noticed just yet, seeing as she was still looking at the birds.

“I would never look at another woman,” he said suddenly.

Amelia turned her head, her eyes widening when she saw how close he was to her. Her breath tickled his cheek, but she didn’t pull away. If anything, she seemed to shift a little closer. Or maybe that was his imagination.

“Really?” Amelia breathed.

“Of course. What’s the point of marrying the woman I love if I’m going to look at someone else? That would be a waste of time, wouldn’t it? And I wouldn’t want to put anyone through that.”

Amelia still looked bewildered, and her tongue sneaked out to lick her lips. Edmund could have kept a hold of his self-control if she hadn’t done that, but something washed over him, and Edmund couldn’t stop himself.

He leaned in and kissed her. Part of him expected Amelia to pull back and slap him. She was within her right to do that. But Amelia didn’t do so. Instead, she leaned toward him and kissed him back. Edmund couldn’t believe that it was happening.

He was about to put his arms around her and pull her close, but a sudden gasp made them break apart and Edmund looked up to see Amelia’s maid, Taylor, staring at them with wide eyes. He had momentarily forgotten about her.

“Forgive me,” Edmund muttered, his face growing warm as he shifted away, putting space between them. “I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have taken liberties like that.”

“Why should you apologize for something that’s perfectly natural to do?” Amelia asked, looking at him with clear eyes.

“What?”

“Kissing someone is normal to do, isn’t it? You shouldn’t apologize for doing that.”

Edmund didn’t know what to say to that for a moment. He tried to find his words, but he just stumbled over them again.

“I…I still shouldn’t…”

“Look, you don’t need to apologize, Edmund,” Amelia cut him off. “I’m not upset, am I? Besides…” She blushed a little. “I kissed you back. If you’re going to apologize for kissing me, I’m going to be doing the same.”

She did have a point, but Edmund still felt guilty for doing it. He cleared his throat and struggled to his feet, only to feel pain explode in his head in a way that made him buckle.

“Careful!” Amelia jumped up and caught him as he swayed. “You really need to be careful under trees. They’re deadly, you know.”

“I think I just figured that out.” Edmund moved backward and looked up with a scowl at the branch he had just hit his head on. “Now that hurt.”

“Well, if you will take a tree on…”

“Very amusing.” Edmund rubbed his head, which was really throbbing now. “I hope you don’t think I’m someone who goes around kissing women all the time.”

Amelia looked amused at that remark. She put her hands on her hips.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Calm down, Edmund. I never thought you were like that, anyway.” Amelia laughed. “You should see your face right now. You’re behaving like you’ve been caught doing something naughty.”

Edmund laughed weakly, wishing that those words didn’t hit closer to the mark than they were supposed to. He was going to have to choose his words carefully for now since he had to figure out how to tell Amelia the truth eventually.

Then again, he didn’t know if he could ever get the courage. This had gone on for too long, and Amelia’s heart was going to be broken.

While he wanted to kiss her again, Edmund found that he was going to be regretting it soon.