Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“How’s the courtship going, Amelia?”

Amelia started at the surprise question. She stared at her mother, who was watching her curiously across the table. Amelia managed to lower her coffee cup without spilling anything.

“I…I guess it’s going well,” she said slowly.

Downe chuckled.

“You don’t sound too sure of yourself, Amelia. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Father. I just…” Amelia indicated her mother. “I just wasn’t expecting Mother to ask about my courtship. It was so sudden.”

Lady Downe smiled.

“What’s wrong with me asking? I just wanted to see how things were going between the two of you. I know you’ve spent quite a bit of time with him.”

Amelia knew that, but she was incredibly aware that her parents were watching her, and it made her want to squirm. She wasn’t used to being under this much scrutiny. Part of her wanted to tell them a lie and say that it was horrible, that she didn’t care to be around him anymore. Amelia could have discredited Edmund’s character and made her parents disgusted. That would be a way to get them to say the courtship should stop.

But there was a chance that her father would tell her to stop being so childish and she needed to make an effort. She couldn’t get out of it if she complained about something so foolish.

And, if Amelia could admit it to herself, she couldn’t lie like that about Edmund. He had been a good suitor, and there was nothing bad on his side. Any lady would be delighted to have his attention. If Amelia wasn’t so determined to break the courtship somehow, she would have been delighted as well.

Then again, wasn’t she happy? She had spent a lot of time with Edmund, and they had gotten to know each other better. In spite of her attempts to get him to leave and never come back, seeing her as a madwoman, he was still there. It seemed like he wasn’t repulsed by anything she did.

Surprised, yes, but it didn’t deter him at all. Amelia wondered if there was something wrong in his head if he was still around her and wanting her attention. She would have to do something drastic to get him to leave her alone.

However, Amelia didn’t want to put herself through that. She really did like Edmund. They did have a similar sense of humor, and while he didn’t have similar interests as her, he was eager to listen and learn. Amelia did the same, and they were able to bond over what each other liked to do.

She didn’t want to deal with any of this. Amelia just wanted to be on her own and carry on her own activities without anyone bothering her. Marriage shouldn’t be forced onto anyone. If she finally decided to marry, that would be further in the future. She didn’t want it to be now.

But her parents were insistent. And, from the way he was behaving around her, so was Edmund.

How was she going to get out of this? If they weren’t careful, there was going to be a wedding in the future and her parents would be pleased that their daughter was finally settling down. And Amelia would be trapped. True, she would be married to a friend who was decent and she enjoyed being around him, but as a husband? Amelia couldn’t do that.

It made her head spin simply thinking about it.

Finishing her tea and hoping that nobody noticed her hands trembling, Amelia stood up.

“I’m going to head out with Taylor,” she said. “We’re going for a walk.”

“Aren’t you going to meet up with Lord Silverton?” Lady Downe asked.

“No, I’m just going for a walk, that’s all. Taylor and I arranged to do that after breakfast.” Amelia headed quickly toward the door. “I’ll see you later.”

She scurried out before her parents could say anything further and into the foyer. She needed to get away from them before they started discussing wedding preparations. Amelia had overheard her mother talking to her friends about what they should choose when planning a ceremony, and afterward, and she knew that wouldn’t be far behind if she started talking. She didn’t want to hear any of that anymore.

She wasn’t looking forward to being thrown into that. That was not in her plans at all.

Taylor was at the bottom of the staircase when Amelia entered the foyer. She put on her hat and nodded at her mistress.

“I’m ready to go when you are, my lady.”

“Thank goodness for that.” Amelia practically snatched her hat out of the butler’s hand and rammed it on her head. She didn’t care that she didn’t have a hatpin or anything to keep it still. “Let’s go.”

Aware that the servants were looking at her oddly, she hurried outside and onto the driveway. The carriage was already there, and Amelia got in immediately. Taylor caught up with her, almost tripping on her skirt as she went down the steps.

“My lady, are you all right? What’s happened?”

“I just wanted to get out of there before Mother and Father started talking about weddings and marriage.” Amelia shuddered. “It makes me want to squirm.”

The carriage set off as Taylor settled beside her mistress, and soon, they were on the main road into London. It didn’t take long for them to get into the bustling streets, seeing activity going on as they trundled along. It was a beautiful day, and when they got out of the carriage, she noticed the sun feeling hotter than normal, and Amelia could feel the heat coming off the stone slabs beneath her feet. She was sure it would burn if she touched her skin to it.

If they went to the park, then there would be plenty of trees to go under. And there was always a breeze coming through the park, so it would be ideal in this weather. Amelia needed an escape right now. It would be perfect to sit on the grass and just enjoy the nature around her. That would soothe her frazzled feelings right now.

“My lady, your gloves!”

“What?” Then Amelia realized that she wasn’t wearing her gloves. She groaned. “Oh, for crying…”

“Don’t worry. I have them with me.” Taylor held them out. “I momentarily forgot to give them to you.”

Amelia sighed in relief as she put them on. She hadn’t been looking forward to going back to the house to fetch her gloves. That would make her look like she had taken a leave of her senses and forgotten how ladies were supposed to behave.

She wanted to turn her nose up at that. It was so restrictive.

At least she could have some time to herself today. Edmund had said that he was going to spend some time running errands, and there was a possibility that he might be able to see her, but he couldn’t be sure. Amelia had been both delighted and sad about this. Delighted that she didn’t need to think of something else more drastic to put Edmund off, and sad that she wouldn’t be able to see him again.

Why were her feelings so conflicted about it? It should have been so simple to put him off and push him away. Amelia’s suspicions were still on the stance that someone must have put him up to approaching her for courtship. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the time with him and found that Edmund actually paid attention to her because he wanted to, not because he was doing it out of obligation. It was not often that Amelia got that from gentlemen.

Much as she wanted to get out of this courtship and away from potential marriage talks, Amelia wanted to enjoy the attention of a gentleman a little longer. It was an odd conflict of emotions for her, and Amelia didn’t really know how to feel about it.

If this went wrong, this was going to hurt. She was aware of that much.

“What are we going to do when the Earl of Silverton calls on you again?” Taylor asked as they got out of the carriage outside the park entrance. “Have you given it a thought, my lady?”

Amelia couldn’t help but smile.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you were enjoying this.”

Taylor shrugged, but her eyes were sparkling.

“I did have misgivings in the beginning, and I was worried that we were going to get into trouble, but when I saw him when you were out riding, I couldn’t help but laugh. Then, with the extra cream in the food…” She giggled. “You are good at coming up with ideas. I would never be brave enough to do that.”

Amelia laughed.

“I must admit that it was fun trying to think up things that would work in order to drive him away.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, it looks like I’m running out of ideas, and whatever I throw at him he’s going to carry on as if nothing has happened. At best, he thinks this is a quirky part of my personality. At worst, he believes that I’m mad.”

“Didn’t you want him to think that you were unconventional, though?” Taylor pointed out.

“I thought I said mad, not unconventional.”

“From my experience, the line between the two of them is very thin.” Taylor nodded at her mistress. “But you’re on the unconventional side. You would never slip into the madness part.”

“I’m not sure how I should take that remark, Taylor.”

“My apologies, my lady.”

“No, it’s fine.” Amelia held up a hand. “There are times when I wonder if I’ve shuffled across the line myself. Then I remind myself that I’m being my true person, and what people believe is proper is far too strict. I shouldn’t put restrictions on myself.”

“You’re a strong woman, my lady. You’ll be absolutely fine with whatever anyone throws at you. If anything, you’ll be able to handle it better.”

Amelia gave her maid an affectionate smile.

“You have a lot of faith in my abilities, Taylor.”

“Well, I’ve worked for your family for a while now, and I make a lot of observations. That’s simply one that I’ve made.” Taylor bit her lip. “I hope you don’t mind me saying so, though. I’m not speaking out of turn, am I?”

“No, of course not. I appreciate you saying that about me.”

They reached the entrance of the park, and Amelia spied a spot under the tree near the lake. It would be ideal to sit there, the breeze coming off the water and cooling them down. That would give her plenty of time to sort her thoughts out and what her next move would be. Maybe she would have a better idea of things once she returned home.

They were walking along the path, heading toward the tree, when Amelia heard a male voice calling her name. Turning, she did a double-take when she saw Lord Sutton walking toward her. What was he doing here? As far as Amelia knew, Sutton lived in another part of London. He would have no reason to come to this park for a walk; he would have to go out of his way.

Maybe he was here to visit Edmund? That was a possibility. Yet Amelia couldn’t help but feel like something else was going on. Then again, that could be her naturally suspicious attitude when it came to Lord Sutton. He did seem to be up to something all the time, and after the way Amelia rejected him, Sutton was certainly not a man who would put that to one side to have a decent conversation.

“Do you want to carry on without acknowledging him?” Taylor asked quietly, glancing back as well. “It might be rude, but if you want to keep away from him…”

“No, it’s best that I stop,” Amelia muttered reluctantly. “He’ll just follow me and shout to get my attention, and I don’t want people staring.”

“You don’t normally mind people staring at you, though. You say they can do that all they want and you don’t care.”

Amelia sighed.

“This isn’t something I want people to look at, if I’m honest. The sooner he leaves, the sooner I can go on my way.” Turning, she put on a polite smile as Sutton reached her. “Lord Sutton, to what do I owe this meeting? I didn’t think you would be walking in this park. You don’t live close by, do you?”

“Well, I was running some errands, and I decided to take a walk through here. It was merely a coincidence that we met.” Sutton hesitated. “Do you mind if I walk with you for a moment?”

Amelia wanted to say no, that she wanted to be left alone. But she didn’t want any further awkwardness. Besides, Taylor was with her, so nothing could come to hurt her, could it?

“I…I suppose. But please let it be brief. I’ve just not had much time of my own lately, and I was hoping to have a quiet walk on my own.”

“Of course,” Sutton said quickly. “I won’t keep you any longer than you want me to, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that, my lord.” Amelia turned and started walking. “So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“I…” Sutton hurried to catch up with her, falling into step beside Amelia as Taylor fell back a little to shadow them. “I was wondering how the courtship with Lord Silverton was coming along. You’ve been seeing him for a while now, haven’t you?”

Amelia blinked at him.

“I…what?”

“Your courtship. With the Earl of Silverton. How are you getting on?”

What was going on? Sutton was not a friend, and he was normally so rude with her, so this was not what Amelia was expecting. She was really unnerved by his change of attitude. It might have been friendly, but it certainly wasn’t genuine. Not in Amelia’s eyes.

Normally, she would tell him to move along and leave her alone, but her curiosity was prodding at her. She wanted to know what he was up to.

“It’s going well enough. We’ve spent a bit of time out riding or going for walks in the park.”

“He told me about that, and the untamed animal he had to use when you went riding.” John chuckled. “He said that he was going to bring his own horse next time so he doesn’t go through that madness again.”

“It’s a pity that he wasn’t able to connect with his horse. It would have been lovely bonding for the pair of them.”

“From the sound of it, not much bonding was done between those two.” Sutton raised his eyebrows with an amused look on his face. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you chose the horse in question on purpose to make it difficult.”

“Me?” Amelia pretended to look slightly affronted. “Whatever gave you that impression, my lord? I would never make things so difficult.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Sutton grunted. “I’m sure you would never dream of doing that, Lady Amelia.”

Amelia didn’t know if he was making a snarky comment or teasing her. Maybe she should have told Lord Sutton that she didn’t want to talk to him because now she didn’t know how to get out of it.

A movement behind him got Amelia’s attention, and she saw Edmund coming toward them. The sight of him caught her off-guard. She hadn’t expected him to be here. And from the look on his face, he was worried.

Worried about her? Or about his friend and what he might say to her?

***

When Edmund had arranged to meet John in the park, he hadn’t anticipated that they would run into Amelia. Now his friend was talking to her, and Amelia’s expression said that she wasn’t sure about what was going on.

God, he wasn’t telling her the truth about what Edmund was doing, was he? If John had said a word about the bet, Edmund knew things would be over. John was determined to win this bet, and he had made some comments in jest about telling Amelia to make things more interesting. He wasn’t actually following through, was he?

Edmund hurried over just as John stepped away from Amelia and watched as his friend bowed to her with a slight grin in his direction.

“I think I’d better go, my lady. I wouldn’t want Silverton to feel like he’s being replaced, after all.”

Amelia blinked, and then she recovered quickly.

“I don’t think there’s any worry about that, Lord Sutton.”

John looked taken aback. Edmund couldn’t help but laugh and moved John some distance away from Amelia with a hand on his arm.

“I think you deserved that, John. After the way you’ve treated her, did you think that she would be flirtatious with you?”

“I wasn’t trying to flirt with her.” John grimaced. “As if I would want to do that with her.”

“You wanted to court her before,” Edmund pointed out. “That must have meant you thought she was pretty at some point. Anyway, what are you doing? I thought you said you would never talk to her. You weren’t doing anything stupid, were you?”

John looked surprised.

“Me? You think that I would jeopardize everything?”

“For you to win? Yes.”

“You have no faith in me at all, do you?”

Edmund sighed. They were only going to go around in circles if they carried on this way, but he had to know.

“What did you say to her? Be honest with me.”

“I merely asked her how your courtship was going and if you were having any problems. That’s all.”

“Really?”

“I promise you that’s all we were discussing.” John held up his hands. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Edmund. You know that.”

Edmund didn’t believe that at all. John was a slippery character when he wanted to be. It was disconcerting when he wasn’t expecting it, but Edmund knew that his friend could be full of surprises. He glanced past him and caught sight of Amelia, who was watching them with narrowed eyes. She suspected something, that much was certain. Edmund lowered his voice.

“Do not try and do anything to mess this up,” he hissed.

“You know me, Edmund.”

“Yes, I do know you, and I’m aware of what you can do when you’re being an absolute pain over something.” Edmund put his hands on his hips. “If you mess with this bet and tell Amelia the truth, you and Harold won’t get your party.”

John looked annoyed at that.

“You would break your end of the bargain if I did that? That’s not fair.”

“And it’s not fair that you try to ruin the bet,” Edmund shot back. “I don’t like it, but the last thing I want to do is give you something when you haven’t won properly. Be a gentleman, and don’t push your luck.”

John started to protest, but then he sighed heavily and threw up his hands.

“All right, fine. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. But I’m still going to win. I know your heart isn’t in this.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s written all over your face. You don’t want to be a part of this bet, but you won’t allow yourself to back down.” John sniggered. “You’re one of those people who is very easy to read. I’m sure that Lady Amelia has figured it out for herself as well.”

Edmund felt his gut clenching. Part of him wanted to punch John for speaking like that. But he knew that wasn’t something he could do in public. Once they got to sparring away from prying eyes, Edmund was going to make himself feel better with a few extra smacks on his friend.

“Just keep away from Amelia,” he warned as he stepped around John. “I don’t want you messing things up here.”

“It sounds like you’re not talking about the bet.”

John sounded both smug and surprised at that. Edmund ignored him and approached Amelia, who was still watching him suspiciously.

“What was that about?” she asked.

“Just a discussion, that’s all.”

“It didn’t look like a discussion. More like a confrontation.”

Edmund needed to divert her attention before she spoke more about it. Otherwise he was going to start panicking and stumbling over his words. John’s comment about Edmund saying he didn’t want things messed up had shaken him a little. Were they really talking about the bet?

Ignoring the nagging sensation in his chest, Edmund waved toward the path.

“Do you mind if I join you on the walk, my lady? Or would you prefer to be alone?”

“I thought you had other errands to attend to, though,” Amelia pointed out.

“They’re pretty much done. So I have the time to spend with you.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and turned away.

“If you had gone any further with that comment, you would have been swatted around the ears.”

Edmund laughed, falling into step beside her.

“Now, now, Lady Amelia, that’s not very ladylike, you know.”

“You know that I don’t particularly care about that.”

“Actually, you care more than you want to admit.” Edmund saw Amelia’s look of surprise as she stopped. “You want people to accept you regardless of what happened. I don’t blame you for that. People are so rude and judgmental when they went through the same thing themselves. Everyone tries too hard to be a member of the ton, and yet there is never any individuality. Nothing to make a person stand out and show that they’re unique.”

Amelia turned to him, her mouth open.

“You’re saying that I’m unique?”

“Unique, yes. Quirky, absolutely.” Edmund spread his hands. “It’s not something that everyone accepts, and that is a decision they can make. But there’s nothing wrong with being yourself. It makes you stand out, which people don’t like.”

“And, unfortunately, it makes a person a target for ridicule as well.” Amelia shrugged. “I don’t really care about that…”

“Amelia.”

Edmund smiled as Amelia huffed and waved her hands in the air.

“All right, fine. I do care about it. I might say otherwise and behave as if I don’t, but I hate the restrictions that come with being in Society. It’s part of the reason I didn’t want to enter the ton when I was supposed to. I didn’t want to be put into a box, and nobody would let me out.”

“That’s an interesting analogy,” Edmund commented. “Being confined to a box.”

“Well, I’m out in Society now, and people are still trying to shove me into the box. Nobody seems to listen to me with the way things are going.” Amelia shook her head. “I said that I don’t want marriage now, if at all, and look what’s happening now. I’m being told to court a gentleman when I…”

She broke off, and Edmund frowned.

“What? What were you going to say?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Amelia’s face went bright pink, making her freckles stand out more, and then she hurried away. “I…I need to get out of the sun.”

Edmund watched her go in bemusement, the maid following after her mistress. Then Amelia’s words sank in. Had she almost admitted to intentionally causing trouble for the courtship so she could make Edmund run away? He had to admire her dedication to that.

He was aware of her thoughts on marriage—that conversation with Mathilda was still fresh in his mind—and Edmund knew that he should respect that and back away. But, instead, he was pursuing her in the hopes that he would win something.

He should have backed out of the bet when it was first suggested. Edmund could have handled a little humiliation for refusing. Now, he was stuck. So was Amelia.

Amelia was more stuck than he was.

Edmund caught up with the two women by the edge of the lake. Amelia stood inches away from the water and looked out across the lake. It was relatively still, apart from a few ducks swimming around, causing the surface to ripple. In the center of the lake, two swans were flapping their wings and looked as if they were about to have a fight. One was rearing up higher, its feet starting to come out of the water.

“Do you want to place your bets as to who will win?” Edmund asked, pointing toward the swans.

Amelia laughed.

“No, thank you. They’ll forget about it in a few minutes.”

“You’re not a betting girl, then?”

“Why bother? You either feel guilty for taking someone’s money when they’ve lost, or you’re upset for losing completely. You don’t really win whichever way you go.”

Edmund felt like she had just smacked him in the gut. A remark like that made him feel even more guilty that he had agreed to the wager in the first place. Amelia was right; even with the stakes, a person couldn’t really win with a bet.

He should be pulling out now, telling his friends that the bet was off. He would not follow through on any of it, even if it embarrassed him that he was backing down, and that was something Edmund never did. But that would also mean that he would have to explain to Amelia why he was suddenly ending their courtship and telling her the truth. Amelia would find it disgusting and call him horrible names before she walked away from him.

It was putting him in a bad position that she couldn’t cope with. Edmund knew that he would be ruining everything if he stayed, but he would do the same if he did the right thing and backed out.

Also, and this Edmund found rather important, he liked Amelia. Really liked her. She was good fun, albeit a little odd, but the different personality she had and the sharp mind Amelia possessed made her a breath of fresh air. Edmund wanted to keep that going, albeit selfishly.

“Careful there!” Amelia grabbed him around the waist. “You almost tipped over just now.”

“What?”

“You were swaying. I thought you were going to fall flat on your face in the water.”

That was when Edmund realized two things: one was he would have toppled into the lake and made a fool of himself, and the other was Amelia was holding him, keeping her body firmly against his side to give him some support.

“I…I didn’t realize.” Edmund gave her a sheepish smile. “Thank you. Falling into the water was not on my list of errands today.”

Amelia arched an eyebrow with an amused expression before she stepped back, her arms falling away.

“Surprising things come out of nowhere, and we end up finding something that we have to adapt to,” she murmured before turning away. “It’s life, and it always finds a way to make us feel…off-balance. Definitely not fun, in my opinion.”

Edmund stared at her as she walked away, taking in what she had said. It might not have been her intention, but it felt like it had a double meaning. Swallowing, Edmund followed her, settling onto the grass beside her but still keeping a respectable distance.

Even though he wanted to move closer to her, to simply hold her hand. Or maybe even kiss her; the urge had washed over him as he stared at Amelia’s face so close to his, tucked against her side like she had always been there.

What was wrong with him? This was getting too much.

Things were going to get worse in the future when—and it was a question of when, not if—Amelia found out about the bet, but as long as they had this now, Edmund would keep going.

And he knew that he was going to regret it soon.