Chapter Five

Things are going well.

Life just keeps getting better and better.

There's a real-life alien from God only knows where in my kitchen. He says he can pilot spaceships, but doesn't know how to get in and out of a car. I have to produce a child with him, or I'll be chained to him forever and now, Chorizo, that treacherous bastard, is rubbing up against his leg, hoping for pets. Kai seems unphased by our porcine friend. He keeps his arms crossed and eyes on me as I work.

Having an audience is not my preferred method of working. His gold eyes meet mine and I look away immediately. The longer I am around him, the more his strange shiny appearance becomes less shocking. He's actually even sort of handsome for an oil slick.

"Chorizo!" I call out, trying to cover my sudden embarrassment. Remember who rescued you from the cold hard streets before you throw yourself at strange men!"

I'm taking my frustrations out on a pound of ground beef, mixing the seasoning in the meat far more violently than I should, when I look up to see Kai cautiously reaching out a hand to Chorizo. "He doesn't bite unless you put your hand in his food bowl. Start at the top of his head and run your hand down his back. He also likes scratches behind his ears."

Kai's gold eyes meet mine for a second, uncertainty evident across his face. Carefully, he follows my directions and Chorizo stands stalk still as Kai's banded hand runs down his back.

"At home, a creature similar to this would take off a person's hand if you tried to pet it," he tells me and I smile to myself. No wonder he was so hesitant…he thought I was leading him into a trap. I roll the meat into balls and flatten each one.

Feeding Kai is the last thing I should be thinking of, but the "proper young woman" my parents brought up can't fight against the expectations of thirty-two years buried deep within. As the oldest woman in the house, it's my job to make sure everyone is fed. Even the annoying people who've shown up to throw my perfectly normal quiet life into a tailspin.

"Kai, what do you eat on your–at home?"

"We are omnivorous much like you," he says, his eyes still fixed on Chorizo. He looks up at me, a hand still on Chorizo's back. "You will not eat this creature, will you?"

"No! And you better not think of making him your late-night snack. He's a friend, not food."

Kai looks appalled. "I would never eat a creature as majestic as this one."

It's hard not to huff a laugh. "Majestic, huh? Just wait until he gets gassy."

Kai sits on the ground next to Chorizo. At that level, they are eye-to-eye. I watch from the counter as Chorizo glances down at Kai's lap.

"No, Chorizo," I call out. "We don't squish our friends with our love." The pig sighs and flops on his side, then noses Kai's hand with his snout until Kai begins to rub him again.

"He understands your words?" Kai asks, surprise evident in his voice.

"Pigs are incredibly smart, though Chorizo's probably smarter than the average pig. I found him wandering down the road and when no one claimed him at the pound, I adopted him to keep dad company during the day. He helps Dad get things when I'm gone. We couldn't afford a trained dog to help him, but Chorizo has learned to do a lot of the things a dog would do without us even having to train him. Though we've never tried to use him as a guide pig. I'm not sure I'd trust him if food was close by. He'd probably just lead Dad from restaurant to restaurant."

Kai nods, "An understandable temptation for sure."

I smile despite myself at the seriousness of Kai's words.

I haven't placed my grocery order yet for the week, so the options for sides are slim. I manage a plain salad out of some lettuce, tomato, and left-over shredded cheese and add potato chips to the plates. I don't know what kind of appetite an alien would have. Maybe he'll eat nothing. Maybe he'll be like a teenager and eat us out of house and home.

"Dad, dinner's ready!" I call out. Chorizo jumps up from the floor immediately and hurries off to lead Dad to the table.

"Sit here," I tell Kai pointing at the chair furthest from the door. "It's easier for Dad if we don't move things around or change things up."

He nods and stands, looking uncertain about what to do next. Do they not have tables in space?

"You should wash your hands before we eat," I finally advise, moving to the sink and washing my own hands. He approaches the sink cautiously and then places a waiting hand under the pump of the soap bottle. "You have to manually pump the soap," I say, showing him.

Thankfully, handwashing is the only dinner hiccup. Kai doesn't seem confused by our cutlery and eats normally. Not that Dad can see, but I can just imagine Dad's thoughts if Kai started stabbing everything with a butter knife.

"So, Mr. Kai, what is it you do?" Dad asks.

Kai opens his mouth, but I cut him off. "We're coworkers. He works in the bay with me."

Dad nods his approval. "Much better than that pussy Rey…bastard couldn't ever get his hands dirty."

"Dad, language!" I sigh.

"What? Was he not a pussy?"

Kai raises an eyebrow as if he doesn't understand. I shake my head and thankfully he closes his mouth.

"Dad, Kai doesn't want to hear about Rey. Tell us about your day."

Dad makes a noise of disapproval. "Chorizo and I, our days are always the same. Though we did get out."

"Get out? Where did you go?"

Dad takes a bite of his second hamburger patty and shakes his head. "Not far. The new neighbor, Anya, came by and invited me and Chorizo over. We sat and talked and ate the cake she made. She makes the best iced tea…"

I smile. "She's a really pretty lady."

He clicks his tongue. "It's not like that."

"It could be," I tease.

"Can't teach an old dog new tricks…you, on the other hand, young lady, have your whole life ahead of you. I'm glad you're finally putting Rey in the past."

I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. If Dad only knew the truth.

"I'm doing something that's for sure. Anyone want seconds of anything?"

"Salad, please," Kai says. His use of the word please surprises me. Are aliens polite too or is he merely really good at copying us?

He offers his plate to me as I stand. The cheese-covered meat patty has several small bites out of it, but the chips and salad are gone. Not a morsel of evidence remains that they were ever there.

I take his plate and turn to Dad, "Any seconds, Dad?"

"Another hamburger…unless Kai would like them?"

"Oh no, just salad, thank you. It's been a long while since I've had a chance to eat fresh vegetables."

Dad tilts his head just a bit but says nothing about whatever made him pause.

I refill plates and we sit and eat, Dad and I making small talk as Kai proceeds to eat everything still left in the salad bowl. Just as he does every night, Dad stands abruptly from his chair at the end of the meal and announces he's ready for bed. He won't actually go to bed, but his tolerance for human interaction definitely dwindles the older he gets.

"It's getting late. I'm headed to bed. Chorizo!"

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Abel," Kai tells him.

"Likewise. Chorizo!"

Chorizo clomps over and grunts at Dad's feet then leads the way down the hall to his room.

"Are you still hungry?" I ask Kai because I'm an idiot.

He shakes his head. "No, this was the best meal I've had in a long time."

Wilted lettuce, a few tomatoes, and left-over cheese don't really seem like much of a meal, but I don't question it. I stack the plates and head to the sink, grateful that there isn't much to clean.

"What are you doing?" Kai asks as I fill the sink with hot water.

"Washing dishes? Do you not have to clean things in space?"

He moves closer. "We do, we just have machines to do it for us."

"We do too," I say, opening the dishwasher. "But sometimes food gets stuck and the dishwasher is old. The spray isn't strong enough to clean everything, so I just use it as a drying rack."

"May I look at the machine?"

I eye him for a moment. He couldn't get into the car, but now he thinks he can fix a dishwasher? This ought to be interesting. I step back so he can take my place. "Well, you can't make it any worse, I guess."

I grab my phone and sit at the table, scrolling through all of my social media feeds while Kai dismantles the dishwasher with tools he pulls from what I guess must in fact be actual pants of some sort.

I find and save several interesting-looking recipes as he works, add the ingredients to my online grocery cart, and then set the time for pickup to coincide with when I clock out tomorrow. I'm definitely the most exciting woman in the world. Totally living the glamorous life.

"The task is complete," Kai announces a few moments later. The dishes in the sink are nowhere to be seen as I come around the counter. The dishwasher hums contently. I cringe to think of how he probably just threw the dishes in there, but I can always thrift for some more, if it comes down to it.

"Anything else that needs to be fixed?" Kai asks, looking around.

"No, no, everything else works great," I lie. "It's getting late and I need to go to bed."

He nods. "Then we will retreat to your sleeping chambers."

Sleeping chambers. I can deal with that. It sounds far less sexy than bedroom. I head out the back door and across the lawn, Kai on my heels, to the tiny one-bedroom guest house in the middle of the backyard.

"What is this?" Kai asks, "Did your father exile you to this shack?"

In all fairness it is a shack…or rather a small shed I renovated to give myself some privacy when I moved back home. I used what little proceeds there were from the sale of our house to insulate the walls and add a small shower and toilet. There was no money left for exterior paint or upgraded shingles.

I'm tired and feeling snippy suddenly. So far, this has been a free ride for Kai–free dinner, free lodging…where does he get off judging? I turn on Kai quickly. My eyes don't quite meet his chin and I have to look up just to meet those golden glowing eyes of his. "I'm sorry it doesn't meet your approval. But it's where we're staying tonight. Take it or sleep outside. I don't care."