15. Griff’s Bro Chat

15

Griff

Hi! Hello everybody! My name is Griff. I am Blade's brother

Thank you for inviting me into your friend group

Blade

Griff is my older brother. But sometimes I think he's just an alien our parents adopted

He's insane

Griff

I'm not insane! Just special. (smile emoji)

Onyx

As long as you promise not to kidnap anyone else, I think we will get along just fine.

Griff

I promise! I already have my fireheart (smile emoji) he is amazing and he sings so loud in my bed

I've been making him sing all morning

Valor

Good

Griff

But guess what! I found something amazing!

Yaeger

Oh? What did you find?

Blade

I think we should be worried, not curious, Yaegs.

Griff

It's this book my butler Hex gave me

Yaeger

Oh no

Onyx

No

Blade

No

Put that book down right now

Valor

I don't suppose someone could burn it?

Onyx

Really, no one needs that book

Doc

I am morbidly interested in how this plays out

Fang

I vote no on the book

Telos

Mav is so bad with his dates, I think he'll need that book to help him

Griff

Really, Mav? I can ask Hex for another copy!

Mav

No, thank you

Fuck off, Telos

Blade

You use that book, and you're guaranteed a special place in Hell

Mav

On second thought, if it gives me a place in Hell with no one else...

Yaeger

You'll be sharing it with everyone else who uses that book. Which means all the butlers

Griff

That will truly be a special place in Hell

A good place!

But wait, you need to see this line I found

Blade

My BUTLER painted one of those lines on my bedroom ceiling. With glow in the dark ink

My fucking butler

Joey and I didn't even know it was there until we turned off the lights. Then we stared at it in horror all night.

Telos

Sounds like a wonderful anniversary gift

Mav

Wait till someone does that to YOU on your anniversary, Telos

Telos

Sure, you'd be so jealous I had someone thinking about me while you moped by your sulky self

Mav

Who says I'm going to be jealous? I'd pity the person you wake up next to

Doc

Cough

Blade

Choking

Valor

This is painful to watch

Mav

Sounds like y'all need a doc, Doc

Fang

Actually, I think I wouldn't mind reading that book for some ideas

Yaeger

Fang, you are henceforth banned from this chat

Banned!!!!

Griff

I feel sorry for all of you. At least my Quinlan listens when I read him pickup lines!

Onyx

Quinlan, on all our behalfs, I offer you our most sincere condolences