15. Zach

FIFTEEN

Zach

Even now, four hours after we'd reported in, and half an hour since Kai had announced he was going to bed in the tiny spare room, I couldn't shake the feeling of regret lingering in the back of my mind. I'd lost my temper with Kai earlier for no fucking reason other than he'd touched me and made me feel things , and deep down, I had to admit he was right. The kiss had been the right move to maintain our cover, and I owed him an apology for my reaction.

Attempting to push aside all the conflicting emotions, I busied myself making a cocoa in the dimly lit kitchen, hoping to hell it might help me sleep. Tylenol was taking the edge off my throbbing arm, and I did some experimental stretches, wincing at the tightness in the muscle. The bullet had gone straight through, but it had swerved and caused damage that, of course, I'd pushed through like an idiot and now tried to ignore. At least it was quiet after the chaos of the bar. But just as I settled into the solitude, the door to the spare room creaked open, and a sleepy Kai emerged.

My breath caught in my throat as he shuffled into the room, yawning, his T-shirt riding up to reveal a tantalizing glimpse of skin while his sweatpants hung low on his hips in a way that sent a jolt of desire coursing through me. Despite my best efforts to ignore it, the magnetic pull between us was undeniable.

I watched as Kai approached, his movements slow and languid, the faint scent of his cologne drifting through the air. With each step he took, the space between us seemed to shrink until he was standing mere inches away, his presence filling the space with an electrifying energy.

"Did you make enough for two?" he asked, and poked at my mug.

"No."

"Hmmm." He reached past me for the jar of cocoa powder, and his arm brushed mine. What in God's name was he doing?

I stepped to one side to avoid him, leaning back on the counter, nursing my mug, and waiting for him to be done so I could do the last security checks on the house and at least get some sleep before tomorrow.

Only… shit… did he move closer?

Try as I might to resist, I found myself drawn to him, my heart pounding as I struggled to keep my composure. At that moment, with the warmth of the cocoa cupped in my hands and Kai standing so close I could feel the heat radiating off his body, I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

"You okay?" Kai asked in a whisper.

"Go to bed, Kai." God, my voice sounded weird, all emotional and pleading for him to step out of my space.

He didn't.

Instead, he closed the distance between us. A subtle tension crackled, thick with unspoken desire and uncertainty. His gaze, heavy-lidded with sleep, bore into mine, a silent invitation lingering between us.

Swallowing hard, I struggled to maintain my composure, to keep the boundaries we'd established despite that freaking kiss and the way he'd held me and dug his fingers into my hair. He reached out, his fingers grazing mine ever so gently, and a shiver coursed through me.

"Zach," he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down my spine. "I… I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to break our promise."

His words hung in the air, a delicate thread connecting us in the silence. All the tension, frustration, and unspoken longing boiled over, threatening to consume us both.

Without a word, I reached out, my hand resting on Kai's cheek, the warmth of his skin searing mine. In the soft glow of the kitchen lights, I could see the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. We could move apart now, and he could go back to bed, and I could lock up, and we'd be done.

I wanted him.

Who was I kidding that I could even keep my hands off him. I wanted his fire, sarcasm, competence, and complete disrespect for the chain of command. I craved the life he had in him when I felt so dead inside, and I needed him. I took his hand, raised it to my hair, placed it there, waited. He seemed confused, and then something slid into his expression, knowing, understanding, and he curled his fingers into my hair and tilted my head, drawing me close. Our lips met in a hesitant kiss. All doubts and fears melted away, consumed by our fiery passion.

The kiss was fierce and untamed as he gripped me and tugged at my hair, making me his. How had I ever thought I could stop myself from having this? A surge of electricity coursed through me, igniting every nerve ending with an intensity I had never known as I went from half hard to iron when our erections slid together.

His lips were soft, yet there was a hunger, a raw passion simmering beneath the surface, threatening to consume us both. His touch was electric, sending shivers down my spine as our bodies pressed together and he rocked. In that moment, the world fell away, leaving only the sensation of Kai's lips moving against mine, the taste of him like a drug. He slotted between my legs perfectly as I widened them to level our heights. He'd hate it if I said so, but given how he sighed and groaned as we moved, I could probably get away with saying anything right now.

If I had anything better to say than fuck.

Our breathing was hot and ragged as the kiss deepened. We lost ourselves in each other, and in that fleeting instant, I knew with a certainty that this wouldn't stop at a kiss.

"You feel like heaven," Kai's voice was a soft whisper as he eased us apart, his breath warm on my skin. "Are you sure you want to?—"

I cradled his face and kissed him hard. His grip on my hair tightened as he let out a soft whine of need, pressing me to the counter. Every nerve in my body was alive, sparking with electricity.

"It's like… I've been waiting for this," he confessed between kisses, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty as he ground against me. "Like every moment leading up to this was just a prelude to something more." Fuck. That was hot—the fact he could even string sentences together, and the raw honesty in his words. "I can't stay away."

I felt a surge of emotion welling up inside me as I listened to him speak, the intensity of his words washing over me like a tidal wave. "Yeah," I breathed, my voice barely more than a whisper .

This kiss was more than a fleeting moment, and I was so close to coming, just from this, but I wanted more—not getting off in a parking lot outside a bar, or him fucking my sadness away. I wanted something real .

"Bedroom?" I asked, hesitant and a little lost.

He stepped back, his erection obscene in his loose sweats, mine not much better despite being held back by denim, given I wasn't ready for bed. "Do we have… y'know…"

I straightened and answered his question with as much confidence as I could. "Bathroom, top drawer, in the med kit. I'm doing a final sweep. I'll see you there."

He let go of my hand, one finger at a time, as if he were reluctant to release me. "You won't change your mind?" he asked after a pause.

"No."

He left in his search for condoms and lube, and I checked surveillance, doors, and windows and then headed for the main bedroom. Standing on the opposite side of the bed, he tossed the supplies on the quilt.

"Negative, PrEP, vers," he murmured.

"Negative, PrEP, I mostly top, but…"

"I'm good with that, you cocky fucker," Kai said with a cautious smile.

I stripped offmy holster and weapon, shirt, jeans, and underwear, and all the while, he stood and watched. Only when I was naked, kneeling in the middle of the bed, did he take off his T-shirt and sweats and then join me. I kissed him hungrily, hell, I needed him now . I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his back, smoothing a path to his ass, where I stopped and kneaded the flesh, staring into his eyes and watching his reaction.

"Stop teasing," Kai demanded, reaching for me, and cradling my face. "Just do it already."

I pulled back, and he chased me for the touch, but if I did what he said if I pushed him back on the bed and fucked him, then this would be over in minutes, and after all this time, I wanted slow and steady.

"Who's in charge?" I asked him, and I could see his fight, the need to take control, and how he clenched his fists. "Lie down."

He stared at me as if he were going to argue, and then he grumbled and lay on his back, his hands closing around his beautiful cock as he arched up into the touch. I caged him, one hand on either side of his head.

"And?" he asked, cocky.

"Hands above your head," I ordered and then waited, just a breath from a kiss, as he battled his need to argue with his desire to get off. More grumbling, but he let go of himself and placed his hands on the pillow, before lacing his fingers. "Good boy," I murmured.

He scowled, but I kissed the reaction away, and he never moved his hands. For sex, he could do what he was told, and I was here for that. I gripped his jaw, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, and he whimpered as I pressed my body to his, slotted myself between his legs, and rutted against his hard cock.

"Tell me you want this," I demanded, and he ignored me, kissed me, wriggled. "Tell me."

He opened his eyes, temper sparking in their blue depths. "I want this," he snarled. "Get on with it, Frogman."

There was my guy, the spitfire, the temper and need. I groaned into the kiss, running my hands down his side, easing away so I could kiss from his throat to each nipple, sucking and nibbling until he shuddered. He arched into the attention, but I didn't linger, kissing down his obliques, finding the V , and nudging his hard cock with my nose. He stiffened, and his cock bobbed as he moved.

"Suck me!" he ordered.

I gave him one of my chuckles, loving it when he cursed and demanded but didn't move his hands. I worshipped every inch of him around there, laved at his balls, pressed my finger glistening with lube to his hole, imagined licking him from the tip of his cock to his throat, and had to press the heel of my hand to my cock. I wouldn't last long enough to fuck him if I came too soon, and I was determined to be inside him. I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, but didn't suck him lower, moving back each time he tried to thrust, and pressed a finger in, all my focus on making this good for him .

He tried to push down on my finger, and I smacked his thigh, feeling him shudder, putting that reaction away for another day.

"Stay still, let me open you," I demanded, and he moaned again. I was getting high from the noises he made, from curses to whimpers, and when I pushed a second finger in, tapping his prostate, I leaned up to watch his reaction, saw him close his eyes, his mouth falling open, his belly tensing, and his cock hard and spit-shiny on his belly.

Beautiful.

"On your front," I said, my fingers slipping free, and he moved fast, still lacing his fingers, and on all fours, widening his legs. "Jesus, is there any part of you that isn't pretty?" It was a rhetorical question, but it earned me another groan.

"Please!" he begged.

I could have made him wait longer, but I needed him, I wanted him, and I dripped more lube on his ass, pushed my fingers inside, adding a third, the muscle loose, and then pressed the tip of my cock to his hole. "Ready."

He snarled. "I was ready ten minutes ago." That earned a smack on the ass, which made him whimper with need.

I pushed in and waited for the muscles to relax and for him to let me in. Then, slowly, I was inside. I sat back on my heels, bringing him with me. I loved this position, going so deep and feeling the burn in my muscles. He linked his hands around my head, turning his face for a sloppy and perfect kiss as I began to move. Then the kisses became nothing but me feeling his breath on my skin, and then nothing when he bowed his head.

I loved this position, but I wished I could see his face.

"Kai?" I asked, and it was a hundred questions and doubts in one. Only he bounced on me, pushed himself down as I met him halfway, and he cursed and moaned.

"I need your hand! Please, Zach… please."

I finally closed my fingers around his cock, the other balancing our weight, my thighs burning, and I started a rhythm with my fingers trailing the length of him, gripping, and releasing, and his abs clenched.

I felt his release on my hand, and he praised me, and his cock, and a million other things, as I fucked up inside him, my orgasm surged inside me, swept me away, and I was done. Finished.

"Beautiful," I murmured at the gift he'd given me.

We rocked gently, kissing awkwardly and cute, until I was soft, and I pulled out. I headed to the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth, and cleaned him up as he lay boneless on the bed. Then, with the washcloth there in case he needed it, I curled up next to him.

What now? I wanted him to kiss me .

I wanted him to hold my hair, and make me suck him, and then kiss me like he wanted me forever.

I was gone.

My crazy, unpredictable, talkative partner was mine.

He didn't know it yet, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to tell him.

"My turn next," he murmured, burrowing into my side and resting his head on my chest. I gathered him close. "And we're going to talk about this," he added as he pressed a kiss to my nipple.

At first, the words struck terror in me, but I shoved the worry away because he felt good in my arms. Dangerously real, and mine.

"Go to sleep," I whispered.

He turned on his side, shuffling back so my big bad hero was the little spoon. I held him close, one hand under his head, the other on his hard belly.

"This was inevitable," he said in the softest tone. " Us was always going to happen. You know that, right?"

I didn't answer, and his breathing evened out until he was asleep.

Only then could I talk. "I know."