Chapter 1

The clatterof utensils and the sweet scent of maple syrup filled the cozy kitchen. For the third morning in the row, I stood awkwardly by the counter watching James at the stove, flipping pancakes that sizzled as they hit the hot griddle. His daughter, Annie, was in her high chair, her face alight with glee every time a new pancake was added to the stack. I felt like a spare part. Despite me just being here undercover, I knew James saw me as part of his little family; hell, if anyone looked deep enough, they’d see a marriage certificate saying we were married, but it was all pretend, and I still felt awkward.

Adrift.

Maybe I wanted the apple-pie homemaker thing. Maybe I didn’t want gigs like this, which were all I had now that I was no longer a SEAL.

“With skills like mine, I should open a diner,” James joked and sent me a wink. I loved his smile. I loved his wink. I just wished this was real so that, maybe, I could try to love the whole of him. Battered, exhausted, and searching for someone to ground me, I had become part of his world. Despite my fucked-up state, he treated me as if I deserved to be here, rather than someone infiltrating his workplace and home.

“That would mean giving up the law,” I murmured, kind of deadpan, kind of joking, although joking wasn’t my strong suit.

He shot me a wry smile. “Could I give up the courtroom drama? Never.” He slid past me to deposit a pancake on Annie’s plastic plate, blowing on it and adding a small amount of syrup. His expression grew soft as he watched Annie attempt to use her spoon, a dollop of syrup dripping down her chin. I felt a tug of something inside, affection, normality… I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was unnerving and felt wrong sometimes.

I pulled out my phone, pretending to check messages, but in reality, I was taking a moment to etch this ordinary scene into my memory—the safety, the love, the simple pleasure of family, and wondering if, one day, I could make sense of everything so I could have this for real.

“You know, yesterday, Annie said ‘pancake’ clear as day,” James said, a note of pride in his voice as he transferred the last pancake onto the plate.

“Is that so?” I turned to Annie, who was now more syrup than toddler. There it was—my own flash of pride for the little girl who’d wormed her way into my heart. “Annie, can you say ‘pancake’?”

She beamed, syrupy spoon in hand, and declared, “Cake!”

“Close enough,” James laughed.

I felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the summer sun streaming through the window. James and his daughter were a family, and this is what I’d fought so hard to protect, and why I’d agreed to this undercover gig in the first place.

Not that I had many options aside from mercenary work, which sucked big time.

“I meant to say,” James began, and I steeled myself for the usual demand he made when I left the house to work. “I know we’re not…” he lowered his voice as if Annie would understand. “…y’know, married for real, but if you can, just…send a message when you’re about to, y’know…”

“Work my cover to infiltrate the bad guy’s lair?” I deadpanned.

He flushed. “I know it’s not always possible, but?—”

“I will if I can, promise,” I reassured him, because we might not be in love or really married, but I liked the guy, and Annie, a whole lot. I glanced at my watch and then, at Annie, who was now trying to feed her pancake to Buzzy-Bear, her beloved teddy bear.

James nodded, a smile flickering over his lips, but his eyes betrayed the worry that never quite left them these days. “Annie, sweetheart, Buzzy-Bear doesn’t eat pancakes. Remember?” he chided and petted her hair.

“Buzzy!” Annie’s protest was obvious, her tiny fingers trying to push a piece of pancake into the teddy’s stitched mouth.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Maybe Buzzy-Bear would prefer to dance over here?” I suggested, taking the teddy, and making it dance in front of her, earning a giggle from Annie and a grateful look from James. This wasn’t me—I didn’t plan on kids in my life; hell, I didn’t plan on family.

“Only a few days now,” James whispered as he passed back to the stove.

I nodded; I think I even smiled. A few more days and the intel he’d collected, and the research I’d done, would finally come to where we could take down the first piece of the sprawling cartel with its payoffs and inside deals, and watch as each domino toppled.

“I’m outside,” a voice echoed in my earpiece. Max, the other cover on this op—standing in as James’s driver—was parked out front of the house in the limo. No one lifted an eyebrow that someone from a family as rich as James’s, with all their influence, would have a car and driver.

“Roger that. They’ll be out in five.”

“Got it.”

James sent me a cautious smile. He’d asked me last night if, one day, I might stop all of this. After all, I”d done my time as a SEAL, and this private work would end one day. I couldn’t answer him, then, and I certainly hadn’t woken up with any resolution to the question. The prospect of transitioning to something outside this kind of life—action, drama, guns—made me a hundred times more than just anxious, and I couldn’t help but question whether I could be anything other than a warrior. For years, I’d dedicated myself to the mission, embracing the hardships and honing my skills, and it was my identity. Faced with the possibility of having a family and a different kind of life, I wondered if I could ever leave the mindset of a soldier behind. It was a delusion thinking I could be someone I wasn’t.

Annie babbled, her little legs kicking with excitement in the high chair as James cleaned up.

“Help yourself,” James encouraged, then moved the pancakes out of the way as I reached for one. “Oh, I ordered the unicorn cake for the P-A-R-T-Y,” he murmured, more to himself than to me, as if he were checking off a mental list, spelling it out as if Annie would understand. “That’s still okay, right? To have a party here if you vet everyone?”

“Sure.”

He glanced at me, dipping his gaze when he caught me staring, then smiling wide before whispering. “It’s in the shape of a two, and it has these…” he waved his hands expansively, “… sparklers. Special order.”

Annie would turn two in a couple of months, and I got the feeling it was a milestone for him as well. He’d talked about us, and every time he did, I winced internally. Our fake wedding had been hard enough; hell, we even had a photo of the three of us that we’d printed and kept up on the refrigerator. We had it as a cover, but I found him staring at it frequently.

“Okay?” he prompted.

“Sorry.” It startled me out of my thoughts. “Sure, just thinking today through.”

“What’s on your agenda?” he asked, as if I was a fellow prosecutor.

“Same sh—stuff, different day,” I evaded.

“Stay safe, August,” he said, then reached to touch my face. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me, but instead, he sighed and turned back to Annie—awkward shit avoided. “Okay, team, let’s get ready to roll out.” He wiped Annie’s hands and face with a damp cloth.

Annie was babbling in her high chair, batting away James’s hands, which made him grin. He booped her nose, and my heart hurt with affection that lived way out of reach for someone like me.

James caught me by the arm as he headed towards the door to leave, pulling me into a brief hug. “Be safe, Aug. I mean it,” he murmured into my ear, his breath warm on my skin. His fingers tightened enough to convey the fear he harbored every time he or I walked out of that door. He shouldn’t have to live in fear just because he was trying to do the right thing by revealing the things he’d found.

I turned within his embrace, edged back, and patted his shoulder. “I will.”

Annie grinned at me. Her blonde hair was in bunches. I gave her a wink and a playful tug on the left one, earning a giggle that lifted the heaviness in the room. She was hella cute and, maybe, if I wasn’t a closed-off homicidal asshole with hero issues, maybe I could feel more.

James coaxed Annie into her day clothes. “You’re going to have so much fun with your friends today.” Then he was bustling around, a wriggling Annie perched on his hip as he multi-tasked with a skill that always left me in awe.

James nodded, balancing Annie as he slipped her tiny feet into her shoes. “Say bye-bye to Daddy,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite chase the worries from his expression. I hated he was teaching her to say that, but the cover had to stay intact—it was the only way I could be with him all the time and still work.

“Buh-buh!” she shouted up at me and waved.

I grasped her tiny hand. “Bye-bye, little Annie,” I whispered. “See you tonight.”

James nodded. “Okay, team of two, let’s move out. We have a big day ahead of us.” He ushered Annie towards the door, and scooped up a container of cookies Annie took from his hands. Today was potluck cookie day at the nursery, and she had six perfect chocolate circles ready to share with her friends.

Max would message me when he dropped Annie at daycare, handing her off to another undercover operative, this time a cop called Molly, who was working the day shift.

It wasn’t until after my final coffee that I noticed Buzzy-Bear, Annie’s inseparable companion, lying on the living room carpet, discarded in the morning rush.

I picked it up with a chuckle and squeezed its soft belly. “Were you trying to escape the duty of more daycare?” I asked the inanimate furry thing with the big bugged-out eyes. Then, panic edged into my thoughts as I recalled a few nights back when Buzzy had become wedged down the side of the sofa—Annie had gotten so upset she couldn’t find him, and she’d hate it at childcare without Buzzy. I grabbed my phone, but the call went straight to James’s voicemail. I knew how he behaved when he buried his head in case files.

“Hey, you guys left Buzzy-Bear behind. Call me back if you want me to drop by the daycare and hand him off.”

I tried his cell again after I shrugged on my shoulder holster and covered it with my jacket, and again when I reached my SUV, but nothing, so I decided to connect with Max.

“Everything okay?”

“Sure is,” Max murmured.

“James isn’t answering messages.”

“He’s reading to Annie, stop worrying,” Max laughed.

“Okay. Annie left something behind.”

“You want me to come back?”

“Nah, I’ll drop it at daycare.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

I drove to the daycare with a sense of unease growing with every mile that passed. It wasn’t like James not to at least acknowledge my calls, especially when he knew I would be worrying.

When I arrived at the daycare, I was greeted by the chatter of children playing and colorful, chaotic artwork adorning the walls.

“Hi, can you get Molly for me?” I asked reception, and Molly was straight out.

“Will you make sure Annie gets this?” I said, but Molly’s expression changed from puzzled to wide-eyed, and her stare sent a shiver down my spine.

“Annie isn’t here yet,” she blurted, pressing her ear piece. “Max?”

An icy dread settled in my stomach. Aware that she was still asking for Max, I pulled out my cell, instead, to check for missed calls or messages. Nothing. The tracker was stationary.

I walked out, my fingers already connecting James’s number for the umpteenth time. Again, it went straight to voicemail. “James, it’s me. Call me back immediately. Annie isn’t at daycare.” My voice was steady, but the tightness in my throat betrayed my rising panic.

“No contact,” Molly announced.

“Call 911,” I snapped at her, then ran for my car, shoving my phone into the carrier and connecting the map to the tracker, scanning the streets for any sign of them walking away from the car, or his phone, even as I headed straight there. Why wasn’t Max on comm? Why was James not answering? My skin prickled and my head ached with fear.

The drive was a blur of houses and storefronts, each moment stretching out with the terrifying possibilities of what might have happened. It had been over an hour since they’d left, but the tracker was blinking, and I was five minutes away.

I saw the smoke before the car.

I rounded the corner at full speed, nearly slamming into a group of onlookers, then got out and scrambled toward the fully engulfed vehicle.

Cops were there already, and an officer took one look at me, then noticed the gun at my hip. “Hands where I can see them!” he shouted, pulling his gun, and ordering backup, his partner reaching his side.

Instinctively, I reached for my weapon as he barked at me to keep my hands where he could see them, but I took the gun out with two fingers and dropped it to the ground.

“I’m looking for my family!” I shouted in his face. “I’m unarmed! August Fox. My family was in that car.” My heart raced as I complied with the cops who were reacting as if I’d threatened them. Where were James and Max?

Shit, where was Annie?

I stumbled to a halt, my heart hammering at the horror unfolding before me. The car was now a monstrous inferno, and I saw Max and James lying motionless on the ground. Panic surged within me, a tidal wave threatening to drown all reason. I ran to the car, trying to reach the back seat.

If Annie was in there, she’d be gone already, but I might have a chance.

Strong arms grabbed me back.

“There’s a child in there!” I shouted… screamed… but no one let me go.

A firefighter shoved past me, a hose in his hands. He attacked the flames, water hissing and steam rising in billowing clouds. And I could do nothing but watch, not even able to reach James and Max as fire crawled toward them.

The heat was oppressive, pushing against us, and sweat beaded on my forehead, the heat baking my skin, but the physical discomfort was nothing compared to the fear clawing at my insides. When the flames had died enough, and the cops were swarming, I shook off the hold and, kneeling beside James, checked for any sign of life. Nothing. Two bullet holes—one in his temple, the other in his chest. A similar check on Max yielded the same result. They were gone. James had scrapes on him as if someone had dragged him from the car, but Max had his hand curled around a gun, showing that he had been trying to protect James.

And Annie too.

She had to have been in the car.

She couldn’t have survived this.

I’m going to be sick.

Then, amid the chaos and the noise of the fire being quenched, the firefighter found me. His face, obscured by his mask, turned towards mine, and I braced myself for the words I feared most.

“No sign of anyone else in the car.”

“What?”

“There’s a car seat, but it’s empty, and we don’t see human remains inside.”

As the cops asked questions, and Molly arrived, a new panic took root. My mind raced, thoughts tumbling over each other. Where was Annie? Had someone taken her? The heat, the flames, the lifeless bodies of her father and Max—all of it paled in comparison to the cold dread that settled in my stomach.

Annie was gone.

Ran for her life? Wandered away?

Or taken by whoever had killed her dad.