72. Zendaya

Chapter 72

Zendaya

" I t's almost over, my darling ," my mother murmurs into my mind.

I cannot see her face, nor can I see Fallon's, but I can feel their hands. Our fingers have been welded together since Meriam portaled us off our mates' backs with a sigil. We stand atop the heart of Shabbe, the heart of the entire world, palms bleeding, magic eddying around us, brisk like the ocean yet light as air.

Magic that we, descendants of the first queen, wrung from the Mahananda's stone by mixing and dripping our blood onto its parched bedrock. When Kanti and the others had finally spotted us, they dove, but their bodies never landed—they swirled, lengthening, broadening until they were no more than shapeless, bloodless shadows.

Until they were no more.

What will be left of Shabbe after we're done feeding the Mahananda the magic it was robbed of?

" A better world ."

I startle because that wasn't Meriam's voice. " Mahananda? "

" Yes, Daughter of the ocean? "

I don't ask it whether it's truly returned for I know how it loathes rhetorical queries. Instead, I say, " I will guard you better this time. "

" As will I. "

I feel its promise swathe my heart as though it had sent a little bit of magic inside me.

" You're pure magic, my daughter. " Its words are so gentle that they heat my lids with emotion.

" Mahananda, my Serpents were poisoned ? — "

" They're safe. That toxin will never harm your kind again. "

I bite my lip as I consider asking it one more question, but it feels greedy.

" Do not confuse greed with compassion, Zendaya. Tell me what irks you. "

" Rosh stole a Crow's magic before we reawakened you. Can you bring him back? "

" Ferry him inside my depths, and I will try. "

Another wave of gratitude dashes over me but it swiftly retracts. How will I pick Erwin out of a murder of regular crows? Hopefully, Cathal or Lorcan will know how to recognize him.

The churning suddenly ebbs, the darkness thins, and Meriam's face appears. Fallon's, too. Their matching pink irises glimmer just as wildly as mine must.

" You are pardoned, Meriam amPriya of Shabbe ," the Mahananda says out loud this time.

Meriam's lids clasp as she murmurs, "Thank you."

" Daughters, Meriam has asked me to unbind your fates, but in order to do so, I will need a unanimous accord. Fallon, Zendaya, do you accept? "

"Yes," I say, still ravaged by guilt for having subjected them to such a spell.

" Fallon? "

"I'll accept only if Taytah strikes a bargain with me not to go slumber in the Mahananda for at least another century," my daughter says.

"Fallon!" Meriam gasps. Was this her plan? Was this why she wanted our fates untangled? "I've lived many years, abi. It's time for me to?—"

"You were tortured and cursed. That's not living, Taytah." Fallon lifts her chin. "Anyway, that's my deal. Take it or leave it."

I cannot help but smile at my daughter's tenacity.

On another deep exhale, my mother says, "The world hates me."

"No, Taytah, you hate yourself. Not remotely the same thing."

" Meriam, I'd prefer the Crows not start pecking at me to collect their mates. " I can feel the Mahananda smile. " Also, I'm tired. What will it be? "

"Fallon amZendaya, if you accept to unbind our three fates, then you have my promise that, for the next hundred years—at least—I will stay alive."

I give Meriam's hand a squeeze. "Good, because you have much to teach me, Amma."

Emotion must overwhelm Meriam, for her skeletal throat bobs and her eyes glitter like the teardrop gem Fallon wears around her ring finger.

As the bargain fastens to Fallon's bicep, she says, "You may unbind us now, Mahananda."

My navel tightens as though a key were being inserted and turned, sending a burst of hot magic skittering through my veins. To think that the woman I was had the power to draw such a spell…

" Zendaya, would you like your memories back? " When neither Meriam nor Fallon glance my way, I understand the question was intended for my ears only.

I hesitate. " Was I a good person before? "

" I wouldn't have carved you out of your scales if you hadn't been. "

" Then yes, Mahananda. I want to remember. "

My forehead grows so hot that my tusk feels like a wick that's caught fire. Centuries-worth of moments flash and keep flashing as the Mahananda glides us upward.

I remember my childhood spent swimming and roaming our hallowed isle.

I remember my beloved grandmother and how I would run to her for stories of old, and with stories of new.

I remember my first time with a man. My tenth. My hundredth. I don't recall their faces or their scents.

I remember the day Agrippina and Bronwen sailed over to bring me to Luce in order to break Lorcan's curse.

I remember the first time Cathal's voice slipped into my mind, then the first time he slipped into my body. And all the times after.

I remember the feather that Arin inked onto my cheekbone and the stripes which my mate taught me to paint.

I remember the weight of life inside my womb, but I also remember its absence. The terror. The pain. The screams.

My emotions must glisten on my cheeks for both my daughter and mother draw me into an embrace and hold me as I shake. "I remember you, my little Raindrop." I don't tell Meriam the same thing, for in truth, I have no memory of her. I was too young when she left.

" Farewell, my daughters. " As our heads crest the surface, it adds, " All four of you. "

Four? Was someone else in here with us? Behati, perhaps? "Did you hear it say four?"

Meriam smiles and nods to Fallon.

My daughter gapes at her, then at her midriff. "Holy Mother of Crows. Me ?"

"Yes." Meriam's eyes are tear-bright. "Can't you hear her heart beating?"

"I didn't—I— Santo Caldrone …" Another hard blink and then she's whirling, calling out to the Crow with eyes of gold and a heart to match.

Joy wells behind my breastbone as we surface in the courtyard emptied of enemies, under a sky that isn't illuminated by a new dawn, but by celestial flares of greens, pinks, and violets. A spectacle of light rendered all the more dazzling by the thousand black wings beating against it.

Though many Crows land and weave their feathers into flesh, I've eyes only for one.

Only for him .