17. TOO MUCH TO PONDER

TOO MUCH TO PONDER

T he last thing I needed was too much time to think. After the break-in, Steven's sudden kindness and learning that Andras was…I didn't need time to sit in silence and obsess. Yet there I was, trapped in my car in the school pickup line, early, with nothing to do but listen to radio advertisements for erectile dysfunction meds and remember the terrifying beast of a man in my house—who had been taken care of by my vampire neighbor— the vulnerability I'd felt.

The fear that had radiated from my gut into every part of my body and soul that night flooded back to me. His giant body engulfing mine, the smell of sweat on his skin, and my fury and rage as I pushed, clawed, and kicked at every part of him. My breath escaped me as I shuddered. Then my mind went to Andras and his golden eyes, which had been full of death and rage as he'd appeared out of the darkness. His handsome face, framed by parted mauve lips, revealed unnervingly white teeth and razor-sharp fangs.

How did any of this happen? Was I going crazy?

The car in front of me swung out of its parking space into the road, engine roaring as their black SUV disappeared out of sight. And now, directly in front of me, of course, sat Bethany's giant white SUV.

Not now.

A bell rang. The large glass doors of the school swung open. Two administrators pushed and held the double doors open for the students pouring out in a sea of blue, green, and white uniforms. Ria and Liv were among them, their wild curls bouncing as they walked together, holding hands, surrounded on either side by elementary school children of every size, color, and character. Some of the children sang, laughed, played; some wore somber expressions, weary from the day; and others rubbed the sleep from their eyes. Liv bounced, her mouth moving quickly as she prattled on to Ria, who stared straight ahead, her eyes sweeping the car line then settling on mine. I turned off the car and got out. My lips parted and curled up at the corners as they padded towards me.

I dropped to one knee, arms open. "My girls!"

"Mamma!" Olivia beamed.

"Hi, Mom," Ria said, flatly, "did you comb your hair today?"

I shrugged off her tiny insult, pulled the girls into a hug, and asked if I could kiss them on the cheek. They nodded, and I kissed them both, then sat back on my haunches, arms dropping to my side for balance.

"What was the funniest thing that happened today?" I asked as I rose to my feet, taking each girl by the hand and leading them toward the car.

"Jasper farted," Olivia howled.

"Ew," Victoria scoffed, but her mouth pulled up at the corners.

I opened the car doors, bouncing from foot to foot as they clicked open and up. Parents turned to watch.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the blonde heads of a grown-up and a child moving toward the white SUV and did my best not to make eye contact. To my surprise, the girls climbed into their seats easily and did themselves up, something that almost never happened with Liv, who I still had to bribe regularly in public, to my chagrin. I walked around the car, just as Bethany opened the door to her SUV and began to climb in. She saw me and stopped, bringing her leg back down to the road.

"Hi, Danny." Her lips peeled back in a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Bethany," I mumbled. I nodded to her and started to get into my car when she stepped towards me, her mouth open to speak.

I paused. "What is it, Bethany?" I ground out, not at all trying to hide the irritation.

The smile faded from her face, and for once, her eyes softened. She actually looked genuinely decent for a moment.

"I just wanted to ask if you're okay. I heard what happened—the break-in. News travels fast. I'm sorry—truly. And I'm glad that you and the girls are okay."

Totally caught off guard, I stared at her for a heartbeat. I blinked.

"Thank you," I said, studying her face, "But why?"

"Our families don't like each other, Danny, but it doesn't mean that I want you to die, Jesus. And I certainly don't want anything bad to happen to the girls. I'm not a monster."

I chewed on my lip. Did I believe her? Not really. Sorta? No.

A pause. Then her eyebrows lifted, and the serpentine smile returned like she'd just thought of something.

"Oh, and while we're chatting," she said, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, "I should tell you that someone sent me a photo of you coming out of a big white colonial-style house recently. A night or two ago, maybe? And the man Kim saw you with at the bar, the really cute one, owns it, I guess?"

"What man?" Victoria demanded from inside the car.

"Nobody," I said, reaching into the car to turn on the radio.

Nothing had happened. I had no reason to feel the rising wave of guilt. But Andras was, well, a fucking vampire, and the last thing he needed, or I needed, was for Bethany and the rest of her cunt club to be acting like some kind of neighborhood paparazzi.

"Bethany," I said, straightening my spine, "this is creepy on so many fucking levels. Do you think that it's okay to film and photograph people while they're going about their lives? What is it that you want from me? Ever since we were kids, you've been like this. Is the goal to be a fucking twat in perpetuity? That's so boring ."

Her candy-pink mouth fell open. A few parents leading their kids to their respective cars looked at me sidelong as they ushered them past.

"As I said," she spat, "we don't like each other. And honestly, I was just trying to warn you. But you're being a real bitch, so maybe I'll forward the photo on to Steven."

I shook my head and tsk-ed at her, then climbed into my car and turned the radio up while my ridiculous doors descended and clicked into place.

A pop song filled the car, and I turned back to my girls, "I love you both so much!" Then I spread my arms and shook my shoulders, kicked my head back, and belted out the tune with Ria and Liv as I pulled away and shot forward past Bethany.

"Burning down the HOUSE."

***

When we got home, I was surprised to see Steven's car there and a little excited to see him, too. We felt like friends again, and it was nice. Victoria and Olivia rushed into the house with backpacks in tow, squealing and screeching, "Daddy! Daddy!" Steven leaned down to hug and kiss each of them before asking them to go put their stuff away in their rooms. He and I watched them run up the stairs, their boots stomping and thundering as they disappeared out of sight.

"They're so crazy," I huffed, laughing.

Steven turned to me, crestfallen.

"What's the matter?" I took a step forward to close the distance between us.

He didn't say anything, just flipped his phone over on the counter so that the screen was up and gestured for me to look at it. I squinted at the blurred image of me in running clothes, leaving Andras's house. My throat felt tight.

"Is this where you went the other night?" He asked with eyes that were utterly dead, unfeeling, empty.

"I went running," I said, and it wasn't a lie. I had gone running first. "Then I stopped by to chat with our neighbor because he had some art he wanted to show me." Also true, technically, and who says that fangs aren't a work of art? It seemed like a smart idea to leave out the part where he's an old as fuck non-human who nearly killed the man that had attacked me in our living room. Steven's eyes raked over me. Then his lips quivered.

"You're not already moving on? I know we're…not together. But…"

"No. No, I'm not moving on…not yet. But honestly? It's none of your business anymore," I said, quietly.

He nodded reluctantly.

"I mean, who else would put up with you?" he said, chuckling.

I blinked.

"I have to pee," I said, turning to walk away but then stopped cold. I spun around and reveled in his confusion.

"A lot of people would put up with me, Steven, in fact, a lot of people would even go as far as to fucking enjoy spending time with me. You dick."

Closing the bathroom door, I sat on the edge of the tub and breathed deeply. Who else would put up with me? Prick. And Bethany? What was I going to do about Bethany? My hands curled into fists and I breathed, and breathed, and breathed.