20. Calix

Calix

I'd heard it described that after a lung infection, the feeling like your lungs burned when you breathed could linger. Supernatural monsters were immune to human illnesses. Humans we marry were also immune once they tied their lives to ours with the magical bonds of monstrous marriage.

In some ways, they became something in the middle. Definitely not supernatural, but not quite human anymore, either. Their lifespans now matched that of their husbands/wives. Their immunity was more in line with ours, too.

Yet, I felt like I'd just caught human pneumonia or something. Every breath made my lungs burn. Not excessively. It was like a dull reminder.

Torin assured me that the magical hold it had on me was removed, then Nephilim restored my life. I trusted that. And they'd been right. We'd learned a lot.

For instance, it appeared that most monsters were immune to it. I was the only one who contracted the illness in the house. The magic in the pathogen allowed it to kill off the immune system and rapidly infect the human host, hence the very short window between contraction and death .

The humans were still shut up in their clean room while Torin tried to identify that illness in the air to ensure that they wouldn't catch it.

What wasn't entirely clear was how it infiltrated the house. If I had to guess, I'd been standing by the door when someone walked in. With them came the pathogen. Which meant that it had reached the compound.

There were three other residents of the compound who caught the illness. One hadn't been saved. They were a halfbreed human/monster and it moved too rapidly through their body, so by the time our witch and sorcerer arrived, it was already too late.

Which led to Torin musing how do you regrow an immune system?

It also further solidified that our humans were remaining within the clean room until we were utterly positive the air was no longer contaminated. Getting to them was like going through biohazard cleansing.

I was laying on my bed with Koa's face pressed against my ribs, snoring softly. He'd woken up three times last night screaming with nightmares, so I went into his room, hoping he'd remain in little space while he slept if it was just the two of us. He'd been sleeping for a few hours now, so I thought maybe it'd worked.

The quiet click of the door opening made me turn my head. Javan peeked in and I smiled. With the way his shoulders relaxed, I wondered if he'd had a nightmare, too.

He stepped into the room, but Bryn and Rue remained in the doorway, wrapped around each other. We were always a loving household. Not vomit-inducing sweet like the dog house casa Nash, but we were probably just as affectionate behind closed doors.

Javan leaned over the bed, pressing his mouth to mine. I could still taste his fear. His horror and despair .

"You feeling okay?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Yes." I didn't tell them about my lungs burning. Torin and Cobalt were aware, and I'd check in with them regularly, but I didn't want my husbands or wife to worry. I trusted that I was healed now. "I'm sorry I left the room last night."

Javan shook his head, his eyes dropping to Koa. With a soft hand, he rested his fingers on Koa's cheek. Koa inhaled shakily in his sleep.

"I've never been so fucking scared," he whispered.

Neither had I. I'd never been so close to death.

"Correction. I haven't been this scared since Bryn was killed."

"What?" Rue said sharply.

"Shh," Bryn murmured. "I'll tell you over breakfast."

I shivered at the memory.

"We need to promise each other not to let that happen anymore," I mused.

He snorted. Once more, he brushed Koa's hair before kissing me softly again. "Love you."

"Love you, too. I'm going to let him sleep for a while."

Javan nodded. "Let me know when he wakes up and wants breakfast. I'll get it ready for you."

"Thanks."

Another kiss. He didn't really want to leave, but reluctantly he stood and headed for the door. It closed quietly behind them. Once Koa was awake, we'd be together for the rest of the day. But Koa wouldn't stay in Little space while he sleeps if there were others around. He was not sure why, but I really needed him to sleep.

I dozed for a while until he stirred. I could feel his eyelashes on my skin as he blinked. Picking his head up, I was happy to see that he remained Little.

"Morning, baby. "

"Morning, Daddy," he said with a yawn, his eyes trailing over the room.

"You hungry? Or do you want a bath first?"

Koa nodded, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Which one, Koa?"

"Bath time?"

"Come on then. Let's get you cleaned up."

He came with me and sat on the floor while I ran his water. He was hovering just inside Little space right now. I could tell because he was subdued and looking around. Not quite suspicious but… tense.

Sitting on the side of the tub, I beckoned him to me. "Arms up." He lifted his hands into the air, and I pulled his shirt over his head. Tossing it aside, I tugged his pants and underwear down and helped him step out of them. With his hands on my shoulders to balance, I pulled one sock off and then the other.

"In you go."

Koa kept his grip on me as he stepped into the water. Once he sat, he sighed.

"Want me to wash you or do you want to be a big boy?"

Most of the time, regardless of where he is, it could go either way. Big Koa enjoys being washed just as much as Little Koa.

"Will you wash me, Daddy?" he asked.

"Sure." I leaned forward and kissed his forehead as I reached for the washcloth. Once it was lathered, I began with his back. "Want to talk about how you feel right now?"

"I'm scared," he said, looking into the water.

I pulled his hand up to wash his arm and armpit.

"Why are you scared? Daddy is right here."

He nodded. "Yes. But maybe you won't be tomorrow. Or maybe Papa or Dada or… Mum."

I tried to conceal my grin. He hadn't had a conversation about what he should call Rue when he was Little, but I loved that he was already thinking of her as one of his caregivers in the same way he did Bryn and Javan .

"You know what? Life can be scary sometimes. We never know what's going to happen." I shifted him to wash down his torso before having him stand so I could get his legs and feet. "But we need to be brave when bad things happen and trust those around us that they'll be able to help when maybe we can't. And we need to not stay afraid."

"Why?"

"Because if we're always afraid, we're going to forget to live. I don't want to live every day without seeing you smile." I brushed my fingers over his lips, and he awarded me with a small smile. "Or hear your laughter."

I tickled his sides and he giggled.

"Or hear you call me Daddy or tell me you love me. And when we're scared all the time, we might forget to do those things."

Koa sighed. "Okay."

"Let's wash your bum and your bits and then we'll get your hair."

He nodded and spread his legs while I washed him up. Then he sat back in the tub on his knees and leaned over the side with his arms folded and chin resting on them while I washed his hair.

"Daddy?"

"Mhmm?"

"Can we watch cartoons after? And can I suck you?"

I shivered at his request. Koa didn't self-soothe much anymore. It was rare that we found his thumb in his mouth or that he requested to suck on me. When he did, I knew it was because he was feeling particularly uneasy.

"Of course. For a little while. But growing boys need breakfast."

Koa nodded. "Okay. A little while. Four shows."

"Two."

"Three?" he asked, turning big eyes up at me.

I chuckled. We both knew we were going to settle on three. "Three," I agreed .

After drying him off and Koa put on a pair of undies with puppy faces all over them, we climbed back into bed. He pushed all the blankets away and tugged my shorts until I helped him pull them off me and then situated himself with his head on my lower stomach.

It had taken me a long time to train my body to understand this wasn't sexy time. That wasn't what Koa was interested in right now. We didn't do that kind of play. He was always adult when it was sexual because that was what worked for us.

His hand brought my soft dick to his mouth and Koa's lips closed around the crown. I tried to stifle the shiver, especially when he eased closer, taking more of my cock into his mouth.

For a few minutes, he remained like that, suckling on my dick, his hand resting on the base. As it inevitably did, his hand dropped onto my balls and absently started playing with them.

I smirked. I wasn't sure what his fascination with them was. In less stressful times, Koa played with my balls without suckling. He once told me he liked how they felt.

His touch was always gentle, but true to his mind space, it was exploratory. He squeezed gently, tugged, rolled them in his hands. All with a soft touch. And all while he suckled my dick like a pacifier and watched his cartoons.

It was from years of practice that my mind wandered, thinking back on the events of the last two days. What had we learned? Where did we go from here?

Two shows in, Koa released my dick and looked up at me. He wasn't Little right now. I wasn't sure when or why he came out of Little space, but he stared at me with adult eyes and adult fear.

"Come up here."

He took a deep breath and crawled up my body so I could wrap him up. "It's okay. I'm not leaving you."

A shiver raced through him.

Koa was actually a few inches taller than me, and most of his body was bigger than mine. He was just built bulkier with muscle while I tended to maintain lean muscle. It was about the tone more than definition.

But when he wanted to use his size, he did. Koa rolled us so I was on top of him, letting his legs spread so I'd settle between them. If I had to take a guess, he'd been Big for a while since he was hard as fuck beneath me.

I got my arms under me so I could look into his face. "I'm not leaving you," I promised, staring into his dark eyes. I could see his beast staring out. Their fear was great. Tangible. Devouring.

"I know," he said. He gripped my hair and brought my mouth to his. His hips rolled against mine and I smiled into his mouth.

"You need Daddy to fill you, baby boy?" I teased.

He squinted at me, his face scrunching. "No. I need my husband to fill me. Ew to the other thing."

I laughed, especially when he smiled. His hands dropped to his underwear, and he shoved them down. I moved to help them along before rolling away to grab the lube in the drawer beside the bed.

"Good thing you thoroughly cleaned my bum," Koa mused as I kneeled back on my haunches so I had better access to his ass.

"You planned this all along, didn't you?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Yes, Daddy. "

I grinned, leaning over him as I toyed with his hole so I could kiss his lips. When I sat back again, I admired his body. Covered in black lines and metal. Laid out for me so I could see every inch. His long, hard cock lay against his stomach, a single drop of pre-cum on his skin with a line to his slit.

While I stretched his pretty hole, I rubbed the length of his dick with my palm, making him hum in response. We didn't have sex often. Almost always, I let Koa initiate it because I knew his interest and drive was far less than mine. When he asked for it, I was pretty sure it was more of an emotional need than it was sexual.

Right now, if I could dive into his emotions, I thought I knew what I'd find. He needed to be as closely connected to me as he possibly could, just to assure himself that I was still here. Koa wanted to feel me in every way. He wanted me to live in his body for just a moment and leave him branded with my release.

He was terrified.

I understood that fear. It wasn't that long ago that we experienced it for the first time when ORKA killed Bryn right in front of us with magic they didn't know how to use and shouldn't have had access to. Nothing would ever make me forget how it felt to hold his dead body against my chest.

When I was sure my man was properly ready, I shuffled closer and lined my cockhead with his puckered hole, keeping my hand on my base to help guide me in. But before I invaded his body, I covered his lips with mine and pressed our mouths together.

His arms immediately circled me tightly. As we kissed, I pushed inside him slowly. Feeling the way his body tensed and relaxed under me. He groaned, shivered. His legs came up, pressing his thighs against my hips for a second before dropping loosely beside us.

"Always so tight, baby boy," I muttered.

"I should be," he said, breathless. "You're the only one who gets in here."

I grinned, spreading kisses along his jaw as I slowly started rocking inside him. His heart beat wildly in his chest, his fingers dug into my back.

"I love you," I murmured in his ear. "Just so you know, not even death would keep me from you. I'd have found a way back, Koa. Daddy will never leave his baby boy. And I will never leave my husbands or wife."

His breath was shaky. So he didn't feel like he needed to answer, I covered his mouth with mine again and kissed him while I made love to him. Reminding him with every piece of my body that he was mine. That I loved him. That not even death would tear us apart .

I would never leave those I loved. I'd worked hard and long to build this family. We finally had our wife and have only had a couple weeks with her, most of which had been filled with one horror after another.

This would not be the end. Somehow, some fucking way, I was going to ensure that we got to live out our happily ever after together. Even if that meant in death.