Chapter 40

Chapter

Forty

PHOENIX

We’re back in the manor, but this time it’s different. This time I have Ani. She’s here by choice, and I’m no longer trapped between four walls. I still use the attic as my office, and I still hate most people. Ani has assured me that some things don’t need to change. I am who I am, and that’s fine. She says that she loves my grumpiness and to never change.

I take a break from my work and walk down to our bedroom. It’s next to a smaller room we’ve decided to turn into the nursery. Olympus Manor isn’t exactly our house as it belongs to the Godwins, but neither Ani nor I feel any place is truly home other than where we fell in love. No one in the family seems to mind that we’ve taken up residence here. My father barely said two words when I told him the plans that Ani and I have to live full time on Heathens Hollow and call Olympus home. I am grateful for that, and when it comes to that man, I’m not grateful for much.

I’m not ready to ask her to marry me. I’m not sure why. I think it feels too normal, and I’m far from that. Also, by marrying her, I truly expose her to the Godwin rules. I feel this need to protect her from that. To keep her safe from the strangling vines. But I am committed to giving this woman everything I have until the day I die.

Ani is lying in the bed, her stomach growing bigger and bigger with my twin boys every day. She’s reading a book, but she’s frowning. Tears are rolling down her cheeks. Ani’s hormones have been out of control, but something tells me this is different.

Rushing to her side, I say, “What’s wrong, dove?”

Her big eyes look up at me, and she asks, “Promise you won’t get mad?”

I’m unable to control my emotions. This is not a skill I feel I’ll ever master, so instead of lying to her, I swipe a tear from beneath her eye and say, “Tell me.”

“You’ve been working all day, and I was getting bored. So I decided to read some more from your mother’s journals. I want to know everything about her and your family to tell our boys someday when they ask about their grandmother. I know you asked me to put them away and keep them out of your sight…”

I did. And a familiar rage begins to bubble up inside of me at the mere mention of my mother.

“But I feel there’s something you need to read.”

I open my mouth to refuse, but Ani pushes the open journal my way.

“Just one entry. That’s all I ask. But I really feel you need to read this,” she presses.

“Ani…”

“You said your mother committed suicide, right?” she asks.

“Yes.”

She pushes the journal to me again. “Then you really need to read this.”

Dear Diary,

I told Troy that he was going to have to kill me. And I meant it this time. There is a madness inside of me. An insanity that Troy only makes worse. I need to get out. I need to be free. I need to do something. Anything. And if trying to escape means Troy kills me… then so be it.

I prepared myself for his fury. I readied myself for his storm. But instead the man I once loved looked into my eyes with sadness.

“I don’t want you to go,” he said. There was no demand. No threat.

“I have to.”

“What about the children? ”

“They’re being pulled into our darkness, and the best thing I can do for them is to set them free from it.”

Leaving my children will be the hardest thing I could ever do, but I’m already gone. I’m simply a hollow ghost walking the halls of this manor. I haven’t been a mother for a very long time.

“They won’t understand how a mother could just leave them,” Troy said, but there was no judgement in his voice. No anger. He was simply stating a fact.

I nodded, knowing he was right. “I have to,” I repeated.

Troy remained quiet for several long moments before he finally said, “I’ll let you leave on a couple of terms.”

I looked up into eyes with surprise. That wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

“If you leave, you can never come back. You can never reenter their lives again. Never. I’ll set you up in a house where you will stay and remain hidden from this family. You’ll have a generous allowance and never need another thing. But the children are never to know you exist. I’ll tell them you died. It will be easier that way for them.”

“You’ll let me go?” His words didn’t sound real to me. For years his threats have kept me prisoner, but now he was willing to allow me to leave.

“You’ll die.”

“I’m already dead.”

And just like that, Troy gave me what I had been asking for years. Freedom. I needed to walk out the door of Olympus and never look back. I needed to rid myself from this cancer and set my children free from inheriting my disease.

RIP Freya Godwin.

It was the only way.

I toss the journal on the bed and stare at Ani in disbelief. She’s waiting for me to say something, but I have no words. Instead, I take out my phone and call the only person who will know how to handle this or know what to say.

“Athena,” I say when she answers the phone.

“Is something wrong?” My sister can always pick up on my emotions.

“It’s Mother.” I draw a deep breath as I stare down at the journal cast to the bed. “I don’t think she killed herself. ”

Athena releases a heavy sigh. “We’ve discussed this. Does it really matter if she was the one to jump off the cliff or if someone actually pushed her? She’s dead. And this happened a long time ago. It’s long due we let this go.”

There’s ringing in my ears. “Athena… I think our mother is still alive.”