Chapter 30

Chapter

Thirty

ANI

I shouldn’t have brought them—the journals—but I couldn’t leave them behind when Phoenix told me to pack my bags for Seattle. I have been reading them almost every night. I have developed a sort of kinship with Freya. I understand her, and through her words, I now truly understand Phoenix. He comes from the same level, if not more, of darkness I do. So much childhood pain. So much pressure from his father to be perfect. So much yelling, shouting, threats of everyone’s lives. Poor Freya was miserable. And from all the passages I read in the journals, it sounds like every member of the family is just the same.

Medusa Enterprises and Poseidon Industries are empires built on shattered souls. Skulls of their enemies are the bricks to the buildings.

The Godwins ranging from Troy’s branch of the tree to his two other brothers are toxic. The family tree is full of poison. And the island they own—Heathens Hollow—is the belly of hell. I have always thought the Eastside is the worst part of the island, but in fact the Eastside is simply poor. Hades truly rained down fire on the wealthy who reside here. So many secrets. So many torrid tales. And Freya knew them all.

When I met every Godwin at Daphne’s wedding, I felt so much less. I felt like a stain in their pool of pure white. But after everything I’ve read, I realize Phoenix is like me. He’s so much like me.

I can hear him on the phone in the living room and decide to take this time to read a little as I wait. My nerves are shot since Phoenix told me to get dressed and we walked out the door of Olympus. I should be ecstatic that I’m being treated like a human again, but I am uneasy. My safe little bubble has been popped, and I’m back in the outside world. But at least I have the journals and Freya. Something from that bubble.

Dear Diary,

I thought about jumping off the cliff today. About jumping to the sea below and swimming with the mermaids. I want to see Poseidon for myself and pray he’s a more forgiving God than the Gods I’ve been living with up until now.

But as I walked to the cliff’s edge, Phoenix stood by my side, took my hand in his and said, “If you jump, we jump.”

I was taught to never take life lightly, and here was my son offering his own. We stood there, just looking at each other with his offer hanging in the air. It felt like a choice between two worlds, between two lives. I wanted to take his hand and jump into the unknown together, to save him from his own darkness. Maybe we could find light together. But something else held me back.

I’d like to say it was because I was a good mother. But it wasn’t. It was fear.

Fear of the unknown and fear of what we might find on the other side. So, I stepped away from the cliff, and with tears in my eyes, told him no. I wanted to keep him safe, even if that meant condemning us both to the same fate.

As I walked away, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was a dark figure shrouded in shadows staring out our bedroom window, laughing. Troy. He seemed to be mocking me for my decision, like he knew I was afraid.

I quickly looked away, not wanting to make eye contact. But his silent laughter swirled around me as Phoenix and I made our way back home.

As we walked, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of impending doom. It felt like Troy’s presence was always looming, always watching, always waiting for the right moment to strike. I knew he was a part of Phoenix’s past, a part of his darkness, and I wonder if he was the reason why Phoenix had offered to jump with me. Was he trying to escape his own demons?

Once we were back home, I sat Phoenix down and had a serious conversation with him. I told him that I couldn’t let him throw his life away, that I loved him, and I would always be there for him, no matter what. But I also told him that he needed to face his own demons head-on, to confront them and overcome them.

I was a hypocrite.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and whispered, “I don’t know if I can do it, Mom. I’m scared.”

I hugged him tightly and whispered back, “I know, my son. I know. But we’ll face it together.”

As we sat there, holding each other, I felt nothing but dread. Because I knew that Troy wasn’t going to just disappear. He was a part of Phoenix’s life, and he would always be there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his chance to strike.

I didn’t jump from the cliff that day…

Hearing Phoenix approaching the room, I quickly hide the journals among my belongings and try to steady my breathing. It is a bad idea to read the journal knowing it could be something dark and even sinister. But this… fuck. Poor Phoenix. Poor Freya. Jesus Christ. How could anyone survive that life?

“Did you settle in okay?” he asks as he enters the room. He crosses over to me, moves a strand of my hair, and examines my face. “What’s wrong? You look pale?”

I see worry in his eyes as he towers over me. “I’m fine. Really. I think I just got a little airsick on the ride over.” It’s not a lie, I actually did get queasy. “But I feel fine now.”

Phoenix’s eyes blaze as he scans my body from head to toe. “Could you be pregnant?”

Hearing the question makes my heart stop. Could I be? Maybe. But I doubt it. Other than feeling a bit ill on the helicopter ride, I don’t have any other symptoms. “I don’t think so. It was just the trip.” I smile. “Don’t worry.”

“I’ll always worry.” He reaches out to touch my belly. “I can’t wait to see you when you’re carrying my baby.” His voice is low; a tremor of anticipation trickles along my spine.

My face heats, and I look away, earning a caress of my ass, from his beefy hand, lifting the fabric of my dress. His mouth closes on my neck, teeth grazing my skin as he sucks.

“Take off your dress,” Phoenix orders.

I fumble with the buttons at the front of my dress, and he reaches out to take over. He moves his hands slowly and deliberately, like he’s savoring the moment. When his fingers brush my skin as he unfastens each button, goosebumps rise on my arms.

I breathe a sigh of relief as the dress slips from my shoulders and puddles in folds of fabric at my feet.

When Phoenix leans forward to kiss me, it seems like a natural thing to do. I haven’t kissed many men, but even if I had, I think I’d be hard pressed to find a man better at it than Phoenix.

I fling my arms around his neck, and he kisses me hungrily, like he can’t get enough of me. He strokes my body, exploring every inch of my skin. I pull one of his hands to my breast, and his thumb skims the sensitive peak. I gasp at the pleasure, and he takes it as a sign to deepen our kiss. His tongue slips between my lips, and the pleasure radiates from my very core.

We lose track of time, our kiss slowly intensifying until we are both breathless. He pulls back and looks into my eyes, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.

“I think I could spend eternity with you,” he whispers, gazing into my eyes.

My heart swells, and I can’t help but smile back. I reach up and pull his face to mine once more, and as our lips meet again, I know that I would, too.

“Could you live in the cave with the monster?” he asks.

“I like the monster,” I say with a smirk. “I know he’ll fight to the death for me.”

Phoenix lifts the corner of his mouth and wraps his arms around me. I nestle into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body coursing through me.

“The monster likes you,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. “So much so, he could devour you.”

Phoenix takes my hands in his and our fingers interlace, sending shivers up and down my spine. “This is where we stay for now. Where no one can hurt us or take away what we have.”

His words comfort me, and I relax into his embrace. In this moment, I know this is where I belong—with him, in this place of safety where nothing else matters.

With a deep breath, Phoenix presses his lips against mine and wraps his arms around me tightly. “I’m not going to leave this room without a fresh load of my cum in that sweet little pussy of yours.” Phoenix’s gravelly tone and the vulgar words cause a catch in my belly. Phoenix strokes hard fingers between my thighs as I watch him effortlessly rid himself of his own clothing. “I want you to smell who you belong to.”

Once naked, with his erect cock on full display before me, he approaches, pulls me over toward the edge of the bed, and sits me on his lap.

Phoenix strokes my pussy’s tender flesh. “So wet for me, so wet for what I have planned,” he purrs with approval. “Are you sure you want to be fucked so soon? Are you sore from the last time?”

I nod, knowing he wants to know just how sore I am. “Yes. And yes, I’m sore.”

He repositions me so I’m straddling his lap. He presses a hand onto the flat of my stomach as my hips grind against him in silent need, like my sex is an offering to a god.

I need him like I need air to live. My nipples bead as he takes hold of my breasts, and I ache to be claimed.

The large head of Phoenix’s cock enters me without preamble, thrusting into my core, where my flesh is far more sore and swollen from Phoenix’s prior fucking than I expected. I gasp in surprised discomfort, focusing on accepting his girth. He holds my hips still with his big palms until my enflamed muscles accept his thick presence. Then he thrusts again as his eyes lock with mine.

“This pussy belongs to me. I will never allow you to leave me. Never.”

Even the thought of leaving this man gives me a pang of sadness, but I quickly shake away the emotion as Phoenix thrusts deeper inside, his balls slapping up against me.

He then leans toward me and presses his lips to mine as he presses even deeper with each movement, grinding his hips against me, until I feel stretched. Full.

“Do you like how my cock spreads you?” Phoenix asks when he breaks away from the kiss. His voice in my ear is a gritty caress, a velvet growl, as he moves his hands over my breasts, then nipples, pinching tightly. I desperately want so much more. I have a hunger that makes me wonder if it can possibly ever be satiated.

“Yes.” I do. My whole body comes alive under the power of his words and body. Phoenix grinds in deeper as he palms my breasts.

“Do you want me to spread both holes? Tell me.” Phoenix’s voice holds a devil’s smile, but there is a question there, like he wants to be sure I like his aggression, and that I truly am giving myself to him and it isn’t all take.

I do. I have never had a need so strong before. His dominance beckons, as if I can hear his masculine blood pulse beneath his flesh. A drumbeat demanding I march along. I can’t think, just arch my back and press my hips downward, seeking more of Phoenix, wanting to pull him deeper into my core.

He pinches a nipple, making me jerk under his hand. “Do you want me in your ass while I fuck you there until you scream?” His voice is insistent; his breath runs along the sensitive hairs on my neck as he speaks.

Him never letting up in his assault has my mind spinning and my body humming along to the rhythm of his fucking.

“Yes,” I moan.

“Tell me.” Phoenix’s teeth close around the sensitive skin of my earlobe. “Tell me you want my cock. You’ll like it when I fuck you in the ass with it. Tell me you want my cum inside your ass and then feeling it drip down to your pussy.”

I’m panting now, my pussy leaking wetness around Phoenix’s dick.

“Tell me. Tell me you want it bad.”

“Yes, I… I want it.” My stomach convulses again at his low hum of satisfaction. “I like your big cock.” I gasp, reveling in the spikes of pleasure that shoot straight to the sensitive nub between my thighs as the filthy words leave my mouth. “Please fuck me in the ass so I can feel your cum seep out of me.”

He lets out a long-satisfied groan at my words and thrusts even deeper, spreading me wide.

He brings something out of me I’ve never known before. A part of me I never had the chance to experience. He has shown me the salacious, raw woman inside who asks for what I want, and like it.

“Say it again.” Phoenix’s voice is a growl.

I answer with a ferocious growl of my own. “I want you to fuck me hard.” I’ve never felt so powerful as when Phoenix swells within me. I look into his dark, lust-filled eyes and add, “Take me in the ass. Claim me there.” I thrust downward, clenching my internal muscles around his cock, waiting for him to give me what I so desperately need.

He roars as I clamp down on him like a vise, and then he pulls out of me roughly. He lies on his back and positions me so I straddle his body, placing the tip of his cock at my tight back entrance.

“This will hurt,” Phoenix warns .

“Yes!” I pant. God, I want it to hurt. I want to feel the pain.

He grunts, surging forward, holding me immobile so I can adjust to the size of his dick stretching my ass. I want to scream, to moan, to beg for him to stop, but at the same time, I want to beg for him to begin. Wave after wave of conflicting emotion and feelings wash over me. Pain versus pleasure. Submission versus resistance.

Phoenix eases past my puckered entrance, thrusting slowly, setting a tempo for our bodies to follow. In and out, back and forth, he fluidly controls my body. The pressure, the fullness, the bite—so much that I have no choice but to succumb fully to his control. I release everything to him and truly become a slave to his mastery.

“Harder,” I say, pressing down, while Phoenix pulls slowly out of me, only to have him thrust in once again. “Fuck me harder.”

“Say it again,” Phoenix demands.

“Harder.”

“You’re mine,” Phoenix announces, followed by a deep and guttural moan.

He pulls my face down and places his lips firmly on mine. His tongue twirls as my heart soars.

He then moves rough and fast, pumping furiously until I feel the hot jets of his climax deep within, and a screaming release tears through me, leaving me shaking and gasping for air. My quivering walls milk him dry while we both regain our composure. A warm heat flows through my veins. He holds me, preventing me from collapsing fully while he keeps his cock still firmly implanted inside of me.

I can’t speak, not that I would know what to say if I could. The smell of sex mixes with the room’s thick silence. Even though we are physically joined as one, we are distant and deep within our own selves. Pleasured, replete, satiated, and yet… there seems to be a sense of longing cast over our intertwined bodies. His seed flows through me, but at the same time, I feel more confused than ever before.

Have we made a baby yet?

Is a part of the monster inside me?

I must have fallen asleep because when I wake, I’m spooned up against him in the bed as normal couples would after lovemaking. Legs are entwined, arms are heavy as they possessively hold me close. My back is to Phoenix’s warm chest, and my breasts are held in his hand. I have never felt more comforted and safe in my life.

His heavy breathing as he sleeps seems to blend with mine. Our heartbeats seem to beat as one. Little space separates us as flesh morphs into a single body.

I can picture this as my future.

Always in his arms. Always his to be held.

“You’re beautiful,” Phoenix murmurs against my ear.

I don’t tense or wonder what will come next. I don’t fear this man but feel a level of satisfaction and contentment that I will never be able to put into words. My body hums, and I have never felt more alive or free in my entire life as I lie trapped in his arms.

There is so much I want to say, but I don’t want to break this bubble of euphoria. I want this single moment to last forever.

“Go to sleep, dove,” Phoenix says as he clears the little bit of space that separates us to kiss me on the neck. So gentle. So loving. So… everything I could ever want. “Sleep.”