Chapter 25

Chapter

Twenty-Five

ANI

Again and again, I wake with a lashing. I go to bed sore from the strike of Phoenix’s hand on my sensitive ass. I wake to an excruciating session with the paddle and go to bed with the kiss of his belt once again. Over and over the routine continues. One comfort item at a time.

One excruciatingly earned comfort at a time.

The days are filled with other acts of submission. Long hours kneeling or standing at attention for whenever, wherever, and for however long he feels it is needed. He touches me, but never enough. And that is the worst part. Over and over he slaps, pinches, touches parts of my body and brings me right to the edge of ecstasy, only to pull away and leave me with the worst need imaginable. Every hour my hunger for him grows. Every second my lust intensifies. I dream of his touch, and I fantasize about the day he finally puts his cock inside of me.

But he never does.

That is my punishment.

That is my penance.

And oh, how I pay, suffer, and slowly earn one comfort item at a time that I no longer care if I receive. I cry. I plead. I beg for more than just a materialistic reward. I have no shame or pride left. I long for him to be near and never leave me, and when he does leave for the night, I sob for hours, waiting for sunlight to come, for it heralds the return of my monster .

If Phoenix thinks I was broken before, and that I am his dirty dove… I can’t imagine what I have become now. My only strength is when he is near. My body craves him like a drug, and I am weak without him.

So fucking weak.

He is my prison guard, and yet, he has truly mastered my body. When he says I am his—that my body belongs to him—I never question the fact.

Phoenix Godwin.

And there truly is nothing I won’t do when asked. Even when he hands me the phone with my sister on the other line, I tell her I’m fine and just taking some time to figure out my next step. I tell her to not bother herself by coming, and I’m actually enjoying my time alone. It’s not truly a lie. I am taking time. I am considering all that is coming. My future. My future is Phoenix.

There’s no baby yet. He hasn’t even tried.

But where I once was terrified of the idea, I can’t wait. I want that bond between us. I want that connection. I want more than what we have now. I want so much more.

“Are you a good girl or a bad girl?” Phoenix asks as he had grown accustomed to asking all the mornings he arrives in a new crisp suit with an unbuttoned white shirt at the neck.

“What do you want me to be?” I answer like I always do right before he takes his belt and runs it along my punished, upturned flesh after he has spanked me.

“Today I want you to be bad. I want you to talk dirty to me so I can punish that mouth of yours,” Phoenix says.

I turn my head just enough to see him towering over me as I am bent over the bed and give a wicked smirk. “Fuck you, sir. Fuck you.”

We played this game in the past. He forces me to act out just so he can punish me more severely.

Phoenix seems to like it most when I punch or kick, and especially when I call him names. My mock hatred of him seems to fuel him, though we both know it is all for show. He knows how desperate I am for more. He can see the arousal coating my pussy and dampening my inner thighs. He wipes at my tears of frustration as my stomach tightens and cramps from a growing need for release never to be granted. He makes promises that if I am a good girl, that maybe someday I will get a taste of his cock.

His torturous edging is my true punishment. Being taken to the edge only to be pulled back from the jagged ledge is the penance for my lies.

He lets me get so close, but not close enough.

I want a taste so badly.

I don’t know what he is doing to me, and if this is his ultimate goal. He has turned the tables. He doesn’t want me but makes damn sure I wanted him. My entire being knows this is wrong. It’s a sickness rooted deep inside of me. I feel shame for my desire. I loathe that instead of trying to escape, I plot how I can tempt him to claim my body. I hate how I hunger, but I hate not having my needs met even more.

I’m not sure how many days or how many nights pass, but Phoenix has changed the woman I once was. He has broken down my walls and left me wide open for the taking. My battle scars are left without bandages, and Phoenix only opens the wounds wider.

“You have a filthy mouth, my dove,” he says as he heads out of the hallway toward the bathroom.

I hold my position bent over the bed I have recently earned as a comfort item, schooled in what will happen if I act of my own free will without permission.

“I think it’s time I teach you what happens to girls with dirty, filthy mouths,” he says as he disappears from my sight.

My pussy throbs at the warning in his voice. I have no idea what he has in store, and though I am sure parts of me will hate every moment of what Phoenix has planned for this morning’s session, other more sinful parts of me will love every second of his evil ministrations to my body, mind, and soul.

“Kneel,” he commands as he reenters the bedroom with something fisted in one hand, and a glass of water in the other.

I quickly do as he asks, licking my lips in anticipation of what’s to come. A chance to earn more comfort items—items I have long lost count of. I no longer pay my penance for these items. No. I pay my penance for Phoenix. For the one day he will deem me worthy of his cock being buried inside of me.

There was a time in my life where I would have screamed and shouted at any woman who would submit to a man. Especially to a man as strict and severe as Phoenix. Mark abused me, but I never submitted. Never gave in. Never surrendered my soul, even if my body was battered because of it. My heart never belonged to Mark. My body never came alive with his dominance. But with Phoenix…

With Phoenix… I no longer care. Societal rules ceased existing the mi nute I walked through the doors of the manor. Life as it once was, no longer exists for me. My nightmare has become a fantasy, and my fantasies have become this nightmare.

“It’s time I teach you a lesson,” he says as he stands before me, places the water by my knees as well as a bar of soap, and unfastens his pants. When his hard cock pops out from its constraints, he says, “It’s time I clean that mouth of yours out.”

I stare at his cock in awe. It’s thick, bigger than I expect, and hard—hard for me.

“I want you to wet my cock with your tongue, then rub the bar of soap all over it.”

When I don’t move fast enough, still processing his words in my foggy brain, he takes hold of his dick and slaps it across my face. He then presses his cock past my lips before I have a chance to do it of my own free will, though I am willing. I move my head up and down, swirling my tongue as I do so, savoring the taste of my monster.

“Get it nice and wet,” he says, huskily.

He takes hold of my hair and guides my head at a speed he chooses. Up and down, I suck and softly moan against his cock. I lick every inch I can, not wanting one inch of his length missed. I all but devour him. His salty taste and the essence of his manhood flooding my senses, I coat his throbbing sex entirely.

“Now grab that bar of soap by you and coat my cock. It’s time I wash your mouth out with soap, dove.”

“Yes, sir,” I say as my pussy aches for attention.

I pick up the white bar and start caressing Phoenix’s cock with it. Small suds form as the soap mixes with my saliva. I stroke the soap up and down the length of his shaft just as I know Phoenix wants me to do.

“Now place my cock in your mouth, dove. This is what you get for having a filthy mouth. Time we cleanse it.”

Not stopping to consider the awful taste or just how much this truly will be a punishment, I place Phoenix’s soap-coated penis inside my mouth and begin sucking as I once had. I whimper as the dreadful taste attacks. I gag as the tip of his cock presses against the back of my throat with the soap only intensifying the sensation.

“Bad girls get their mouths washed out with soap.” He tugs my hair when I try to pull back as I suck in air to help ease the turmoil occurring inside my mouth .

Using his other hand, he reaches down and cups my breast, changing my whimpers to a moan.

Mercifully removing his dick from my mouth, Phoenix spreads his pre-cum mixed with remnants of soap on my lips as he says, “Let me paint this perfect pink pout of yours. I’m about to make you my cum slut.”

I look up into his eyes and nod.

He slaps the head of his cock against my cheek. “You want my cock, dove? Do you want me to punish you now with my cock?”

Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes! Although my words are lost in my own hunger begging to be satiated.

I want him so badly.

I want him to split me wide open with his cock.

My pure white sexual experiences from before about to become pitch black.

I want raw. I want depraved. I want dark emotions and desires.

Phoenix is the only one who will truly give me what I want, and what I so desperately need. And now Phoenix is here… Is it finally time?

Everything has been leading up to this. Phoenix has opened a Pandora’s box of horrific fantasies and delights hidden deep within, and now that they are unleashed, Phoenix is the only one who can tame them.

“Take a drink of water, swish it around in your mouth, and then spit it out back in the glass,” he orders.

I’m grateful for this, because though the soap misery has dissipated somewhat, I do wish to be rid of the residue from the inner lining of my mouth.

As I swish and spit the last bit out into the glass, Phoenix bends down and places his hands under my arms, lifting me to my feet. He then swoops me into his arms and carries me over to the bed. The tender touch and almost loving gesture have my mind spinning with the wicked, twisted lust from my naughty discipline only moments ago.

The softness is quickly replaced, however, when he places me on my back and spreads my legs wide. Without pause, he swats my pussy, causing me to jump and cry out in surprise.

“I’m going to make these lips of your cunt swell so every time I thrust into you, you cry out in pain.” He swats my bare pussy again and again. The sting only heightens my need for more .

“Please…” I beg like so many times before, but this time I feel like my pleas may be answered.

“Do you feel your penance is over? Do you feel like you’ve finally proven you are a good girl? A trustworthy dirty dove?”

“Yes, I swear. I am. I will never lie to you again.”

Phoenix pauses, locks eyes with me. “I believe that.”

My heart skips a beat when Phoenix quickly sheds his clothing. His actions are smooth and graceful, but not nearly fast enough for my need. I think about sitting up and assisting him but remain frozen. I don’t want to do a single thing to have Phoenix change his mind or decide I need another punishment instead.

My heart hitches when the weight of the bed shifts as he straddles my body. This is it. I glance down at his cock, and a tiny twinge of fear sets in when I know just how much his size will be too much for me to take.

Phoenix lowers his weight upon me and positions his cock at my pussy. The meaty head stretches my hole wide as he enters, and I moan with the biting pain. He doesn’t give me any time to get used to his girth but rather begins thrusting in and out at a steady pace.

There are no kisses. No caresses. No loving words of affection.

The actions are cold yet the heat between us blazes to an epic proportion of inferno. My body explodes almost instantly, finally free to release the long-overdue energy that has been pent up since my captivity started. Phoenix hasn’t given me permission to come, but I don’t care. I will accept whatever punishment he will deliver later for my actions. It’ll be worth it.

So fucking worth it.

As I cry out his name and my pussy contracts around his cock, he pulls his face back enough so he can look into my eyes. Maybe it’s the sexual energy flowing through me, or maybe it’s simply wishful thinking, but I see something in his eyes.

Softness.

Emotion beyond what normally only belongs to a sadist.

Connection.

Phoenix continues to push and pull inside of me as his eyes never leave mine.

In and out, I see him.

In and out, I feel him.

In and out, Phoenix seems to merge with not just my body, but my soul .

I am his. I have been his for a long time. But at this very moment, I truly believe he is…

He is mine.

He is my monster, my captor, mine, and I am never going to let him go.

I never want this moment to end. Never.

But eventually, my body explodes again, and it is all that Phoenix needs to groan loudly and give one final thrust as he spills his completion inside of me.

Taking a few minutes to gather his senses as he breathes against the pillow beside my head, he eventually pulls his face back and stares at me again. He doesn’t say anything, nor do I. But in this moment, something is different.

He is not a monster.

He is a man.

Nothing but a man.

I am not the prey.

I am a woman.

Nothing but a woman.

But we are together. We are as one. We are in this nightmare together, and we both know it.

“My seed’s inside you,” he states as if a medical procedure has just occurred. Any romantic bubble I thought I had, pops.

I nod, hating the thought of merely being a vessel.