Chapter 8

Chapter

Eight

ANI

“Go on inside the store.” Phoenix leans his head back against the leather seat as if too exhausted to come with me. He’s sweaty at the temples. Why is he so clammy and pale? “I texted Linda a list of everything you’ll need. She knows to just charge it to my account.”

I look at the boutique store in surprise. “You just want me to go in there and get clothes?”

Lulu’s is a boutique that sits on Main Street, and before this day, I wouldn’t even consider walking through the doors. It smells rich. It looks rich. It is rich.

I am not.

“I’d go with you but...” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Linda knows what you need.”

Phoenix has clearly hit his limit of helping me. His mind and body seem to be shutting down, and rather than argue with him on not accepting this charity, I enter the store with the intention to make this as quick as possible.

The bell hanging off the top of the door announces my entrance, and my face heats up. I don’t belong here. One glance tells me that much. It’s raining outside, and I’m afraid I’m going to track in puddles of water, so I stand entirely too long on the mat, swiping the wetness off my feet.

“Hello, hello,” a cheery woman calls out from behind the counter on the right of the store. She holds a phone, reading what I can only assume is the text from Phoenix. “Ani, right? Go ahead and look around. Let me know if I can help you with anything. My name is Linda.”

I don’t want to be in this store any more than Phoenix does, but I can’t walk out empty handed. It will make Phoenix feel as if he’s wasting his time. So, I’ll be quick. In and out.

I don’t even know where to start, but if I’m staying at Olympus Manor, I’m going to need something classier than just jeans and a T-shirt. I pick out a black, long-sleeved, off-the-shoulder dress. It looks like one I saw on the cover of a magazine once, and when I hold it up in front of me, I stare at it with joy, unable to believe someone is buying this for me. I’ve never had a dress like this before. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had anything this nice, and it makes me feel weird. I look around the store, considering what else I need, so I pick up a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of black boots.

I approach the checkout register and hand Linda the items.

She looks up at me and smiles. “Oh, that’s not enough. Phoenix sent me a detailed list of what he wants.” She places the dress, jeans, and boots into a bag. “But this is a good start.” She takes me by the hand to the changing room. “I just need you to try on a couple things. Once I know how they fit, I can get the rest of the items without having you try on everything. I have a really good eye for sizes.

Linda starts by handing me a blouse, a dress, and a pair of pants. I quickly try on each item and walk out of the changing room for her to assess how they fit. Once done with that, she ushers me to a tufted white chair.

“Here, sit here so we can try on some shoes.”

I sit down and pull off my old shoes. Linda has me try on every kind of shoe—ankle boots, peep-toe flats, heels, wedged sandals, wedges, and even go-go boots that make me feel like a teenager again.

A glance at the price tag of the dress I’m wearing tells me it’s a little over three hundred dollars. I’m sure the shoes will be triple that, if not more. I can’t stop staring at the price tag. This is too much. It’s too much for someone to spend on me. I should refuse to take it, but I don’t have any other options right now, either. Unless I want to wear moldy clothes or be naked. Plus, Phoenix will hate me for rejecting his offer. I don’t have many options right now.

Linda checks her phone. “Okay, so I found a lot on his list, but not everything. I’ll have to get the rest of the items elsewhere and have them delivered to Olympus. We don’t carry toiletry items here, but I’ll still get the best on Heathens Hollow and have them delivered as well.”

I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” Linda asks. “You’re very quiet.”

“I’m fine.” I force a smile. “It’s just a little overwhelming.”

“Overwhelming?” Linda’s eyes widen.

My face is getting warm. “I’m not used to this kind of treatment.”

“Oh well,” Linda says. “This is how Phoenix shops. He texts me a list of what he wants, and I have it sent to Olympus. It’s fast and furious, but it works for him.”

I nod and smile. I guess it does work for him. For someone who’s used to having everything handed to him, I’m sure it does. Yet, it feels weird to me because I’ve never had anything like this before. I’m not used to someone buying me things, especially something as expensive as these clothes. I don’t know what to say. “Thank you” doesn’t seem like enough.

Linda turns to me. “Okay, that’s it for now. It was nice meeting you, Ani. I will have all of these items delivered to the manor immediately.”

I appreciate that there is no judgment in her eyes. No assumptions made. Linda is simply doing her job and assisting Phoenix with his needs. I must admit this has been the easiest shopping experience ever. I also have no idea what I actually got to wear.

I give my thanks and exit to join Phoenix in the car. Everything has happened in such a blur that I don’t even know how long I was inside. The rain is letting up a little, but I still run to the car to try to avoid getting completely soaked.

“Did you get everything you needed?” Phoenix asks as I climb inside.

“I think so. Linda said she’ll have it all delivered.”

Phoenix nods as he signals for the driver to leave. He seems calmer now. Less sweaty. It seems some time alone is just what he needed.

“Thank you,” I say, though I feel I owe him more than just a simple word.

On Heathens Hollow, the Godwins are known for sponsoring charities, donating to causes, and paying their fair share of money to help the community. Although, I’ve never actually seen a physical Godwin at any of the events or handing the money over in person. It’s always felt like something they just do because they are rich. Not because they want to or care deeply about the cause or the charity they are funding. I’ve never really seen kindness from a Godwin before other than on a surface level.

Until now.

“Can I ask you something?” Phoenix eventually asks. “Why would you allow yourself to settle for that? To settle on a man who gives you that kind of life? You seem like such a strong-willed woman. You don’t seem… broken.”

“I’m not broken,” I respond a little too quickly and defensively, but I inhale deeply and try to give an answer. It’s the least I can do for someone who is going out of their way to help me. “I’m not a victim, but I am really fucking stubborn. And I guess I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to admit defeat.”

“Why would you want to be with a man like…”

“Mark.”

“Why would you be with a man who has you living like that? With a man who beats you?”

Looking out the window at the gray skies, the rain letting up, I say, “Daphne and I grew up with a very neglectful father. Poor would be an understatement to describe our upbringing. I guess you could say I struggled to break the cycle. Daphne was able to do it her way, but that was not the path I chose. When I first met Mark, he offered me something I found very attractive in a man. He was dominant, possessive, and swore he would love me forever and never let me go. I found it sexy and thought that it was everything I wanted and needed. It’s still what I want and need. But… I didn’t care about money if the man could make me feel protected and nurtured. But I misjudged all the qualities I thought I wanted in him. He didn’t have any of them. He was just an ass.”

I’ve never been so open with anyone about this before, not even my sister. Now feeling uncomfortable with how free I’m being with my words, I point to a rainbow that has formed in the horizon as a distraction.

“Look. A rainbow.”

Phoenix angles his head so he can see what I’m pointing at. He leans in closer to me so that he can get a better look, and his greater mass seems to take up all my air space. I can only smell him, the faint scent of his aftershave and the spicy fragrance of lotion on his arms.

He’s so close I can feel the warmth emanating from his body. I’m drawn to him, uncertain of what that means and why .

He looks down at me with intensity in his blue-gray eyes, and I get lost in them for a moment, as if I’m in a trance.

My heart races in anticipation as he leans in even closer. But then he quickly pulls back and sits back against the seat, his gaze once again focused on the passing scenery of his window.

I’m left to my thoughts, wondering what that was all about, and why the closeness between us felt so… right.

Finally, with enough awkward silence to strangle me, Phoenix seems to snap out of it, looking back at me. I swear I can feel his gaze burning a hole through my skin, but when I look up at him, I see his glare softening.

My heart is still racing, probably too fast. Feeling even more uncomfortable because I don’t know what to say, I look out my window, hoping he can’t hear the intensity of my heart.

“So why’d you stay?” he asks. “Once you realized he couldn’t give you what you needed. What you deserved.”

I keep my eyes on the rainbow peeking out from the dark clouds. “Stuck.”

“Never again, Ani,” Phoenix says with such intensity I’m forced to look back at him. “I don’t want you to ever feel that way again.”