Chapter 38

Chapter

Thirty-Eight

DAPHNE

To my surprise, he takes me in his arms and holds me close. Never once does he speak while I’m in his embrace. Never once does he stop showing me an unfamiliar love, kindness, and comfort.

Ares Godwin.

It’s Ares who blankets me in his warmth as a second chance lover would. Or is this a new love rather than a second chance? The definition is muddled, but I no longer care to make sense.

I’m not sure how long I rest against his chest, but eventually he pulls me back so he can look me in the eye. He says nothing. He doesn’t need to. I can see his thoughts. I can see that his entire soul crumbling to pieces inside. He doesn’t want to be here with me as Apollo, and at the same time, he has to.

Stroking his face with my palms, I whisper, “Do I call you Ares or Apollo in private?”

I see pain flicker in his eyes. “I feel like I’m betraying my brother by saying what I know I need to say.” Taking me by the hand, he says, “I can’t ask you to call me Apollo, and yet it’s what I need from the people in my life who know. I’m Apollo. I’m forever Apollo. But I also know it’s not fair to expect you to live this lie of mine.”

I shake my head. “It’s not just your lie now. It’s ours.” The thought of being alone without this man for another second sends a panic through me. I never want to be without my husband . “I didn’t want this marriage before. You know this. I didn’t love him. But I do love you.” I look up at him with desperation pumping through my veins. “Don’t plan this life—living as Apollo—without me.”

“Even though I shouldn’t say this. It tears at my soul admitting this, but I love you. I do,” he says. “I didn’t go into this plan with that intention. I didn’t mean to bring in the emotions. But I don’t want to live my brother’s life without you, either. I want you by my side.”

He leads me over to the edge of the bed and sits us down. I curl up next to him and press my cheek to his chest as he hugs me tight.

“What are you thinking?” I ask, which isn’t really a fair question. If he were to ask me the same words, I wouldn’t be able to answer because my thoughts are racing at rapid speed.

He looks down at me and makes eye contact. His expression gives nothing away.

“About us,” he begins. “About what our next step is. I’m thinking about my brother and wondering if he’d ever forgive me for this. You were his. Not mine. But now that I want to make you mine… will he haunt our asses forever? Are we crossing a line that we both can’t live with?”

My heart skips a beat knowing that he’s considering me in his future plans, but that he’s also considering not having me in them either to honor his brother. “What are you saying?” I interrupt, needing more clarification. “Do you think the fact that I was married to your brother will prevent you from… being with me?”

He swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “I’ve been loyal to my family my entire life. I’d throw myself in front of The Reaper himself for any of them. But this one time in my life, I want to be selfish. I want to do what will make myself happy.”

“And what will make you happy?”

“Making you truly mine. Holding on so tight you can barely breathe. Obsessing over you, protecting you, and doing the same for that child of ours. I don’t want the life Apollo had with you… I want us to start our own. But one thing I know is I want you. Mine.”

“Yours?”

“Mine.” He stands up and pulls me from the bed. He wraps his arms around my frame, trapping me against his body. “I feel so much more than the dark, angry emotions of before. It’s as if my heart has grown. My entire being has changed. I feel pain, I feel the loss of the thought of not having you in my life, and yet I feel emotions such as hope and love. Love for you. I don’t feel like Ares anymore. He truly died in that crash right alongside Apollo. ”

I look up into his eyes and allow the tears to fall. His words are all I have ever wanted to hear. He loves me. He openly admits his feelings for me. No one in my life, other than my sister, has been so free with expressing love to me. No one has made me feel this way before.

“I don’t deserve your love in return,” he says. “I’ve done awful things in life. I’ve killed, and to be honest with you… I won’t be able to change who I am. There is nothing I won’t do for my family and Medusa. And now when it comes to you and our baby, I’ll kill anyone who dares try to harm you. I’ve lied, and I’m now expecting you to lie forever as well. I’m a bad man, but a bad man who is in love with a woman and the idea of what a future with her could be like. But I also want to earn your love. I want to prove to you I can give you and our baby what you need. I can honor the memory of my brother by protecting and caring for you like a true Godwin would do. I’ll try to be everything a man and provider should be.”

“I have no doubt you will.” I stroke his face and give him a soft kiss before adding, “You aren’t a bad man. You may have done bad things, but that’s your world. It’s a world I understood when I entered this family. You only do what was in your nature as part of that world. Yes, I want the good in you. But I won’t refuse the bad either. I want every part of you and won’t expect you to change. Be Apollo. Be Ares. Be good. Be bad. Be whatever you want.”

His eyebrow rises, and a devilish grin spreads across his face. “Are you telling me I can be the villain and the hero?” He lightly places his palm on my neck. “Be careful what you say.”

“I don’t have to be careful when I’m around you. I know you’ll keep me safe.”

“But who will keep you safe from me?” He dips his hand past the waistband of my pants and caresses my mound.

“I’m not needing saving. I happen to like the villain in the story. He’s just misunderstood.”

He puts his lips so close to mine that I can feel his heavy breath. “And if I told you I want to fuck you right now, what will you say?”

“I’ll say no. Just so you can fucking take me anyway.”

I smile up at Ares—Apollo, and we both know the time has come. When I try to offer assistance in shedding my clothing, he slaps my hands away. Effortlessly, he rids me of my clothing, never breaking his stare with mine. When he removes his own clothing and stands before me in all his nude glory, I can’t help but moan in anticipation.

“Ares— ”

“Apollo,” he corrects. “From now on, the only name you ever call me is Apollo.”

“Apollo—”

“Don’t talk,” he interrupts as he lowers me back to the bed and climbs on top of me, lowering his mouth to mine. “Do only what I say.” He kisses me long and deep. He tastes of life, and hope, and sweetness, but there is also the sting and the spice. He strokes his hands up and down my body, batting away my hands every time I reach for him.

“Don’t make me chain you, princess,” he hisses. “Only move when I tell you.”

Moving lower down my body, he cups my hot-skinned sex in his hands, clearly pleased to find me wet with my legs spread wide. I’m ready for him. I don’t think it’s possible to ever deny him. Never turn him away. I will never truly ever be able to say no.

Breaking his rule, I reach for him. He’s thick and hard, the massive girth of his cock swollen and leaking. Just for me.

“Let me suck on you,” I plead. “I want to taste you.”

He grants me my wish and straddles my neck, so his cock rests in front of my face. Moving fast, I suck him deeply into my mouth, running my tongue along the tip, luxuriating in the heady taste of him. I want more.

I rake my nails down his chest and pull him into my throat until he bottoms out, delightfully gagging me with his size. Still, I try to take more, until I gag again, and my mouth salivates. My lips spread wide; he’s too big, but I love it. I’ll never get enough of him. His smell and taste are drugs working on my system. The heat of his body, the comfort of his solidity, a balm to an existence that has become fraught, rocky, and confusing.

This man stands at the center of my universe, rigid and impregnable. Constant. Reliable.

“Come for me, Apollo ,” I mumble around his hard flesh, eager for the flavor of his release. I like the way his name sounds on my lips now. He groans when I palm his sack, squeezing gently. “Give me your come. I need to taste you.”

He thrusts against my throat, his hips working, pushing deeper.

“I need you.” I try to say it, but it comes out muffled. He doesn’t care, and neither do I.

His fingers dig into my scalp as he pulls my face tighter against his groin. Speech is impossible, so I just hum around him.

The pre-cum of his desire coats my tongue, thick, heavy, and sweet. I moan as the serum’s aphrodisiac works through my body, setting nerves tingling. I swallow him down, sucking until he would have no choice but to release fully into the back of my throat. But he resists.

“No, I want to fill your pussy with my seed.”

Frantically, he lowers himself down and reaches for his cock to guide the brutal length of him between my thighs, pressing past my slick folds, claiming me once again. He raises his hips and slams back down, pounding into me with everything he has.

One of his hands close over my breast, fingers strumming my nipple. I groan as I arch my back, silently begging for more. I want him deeper. I want to feel his possession so deep that I’ll truly feel as if we blend as one. I can’t get enough of him. It’s as if my body is starved and it’s this man who gives me life.

“Deeper,” I moan.

He groans out a wordless answer, deep in his throat, and my stomach coils tight at the rasping sound. Flipping us over, he lies on his back and has me straddle him, riding his cock. I bob up and down as his eyes watch my tits bounce. I like having the power to give him pleasure. I can see it in his black eyes. I can feel it coming from his flesh. I please him, and that very knowledge brings on a wave of euphoria as a tidal wave comes crashing down.

I arch my back as his cock drives deep inside and scream out his new name. Over and over again. Apollo. Yes. Apollo.

He grabs me with a rough hand to the neck, pulling my face down. He sucks at my tongue, swallowing my orgasmic groans. I bite his lip, tasting his blood and buck my hips, milking the last wave of my release.

I rear up, gasping, reveling in the big cock that slams deep inside of me with every thrust of his hips. My husband looks wild, the thick muscles of his abdomen and chest rippling, his hair curling around his ears. I have never seen a more perfect man. My man.

I dig my fingers into his chest, and he groans again. My thighs burn. I don’t care. None of it matters. All that matters is giving Apollo the pleasure I so desperately want to give him.

I lean back, resting my hands on his corded, muscled thighs so I can get a better angle. His eyes burn into me, dark and probing, hard and hot, as if he sees into my soul. Every time he looks at me, I feel our bond grow stronger and stronger.

The orgasm coils tight within me again, drawing close.

“Apollo,” I cry .

He nods. “Yes, say my name as you fucking milk my cock.”

He slips a hand down to stroke my clit, and I allow him to throw me over the edge as he thrusts his final release into me with a deep growl. I scream as a flood of sensation knocks the wind out of me. Wave after wave of heat courses through my veins as Apollo pumps his seed inside of me.

When the shocking erotic delights dim enough that I’m able to open my eyes fully, I breathe out, “That was amazing.” He lay beneath me with a light sheen of sweat on his skin.

“That was just round one,” he says with a chuckle. “More’s coming, my wife . So much more.”