Chapter 20

Calum moved through the crowded room, feeling the heat of too many bodies packed into the Sea Bell for Lena's leaving do. Most faces he knew. Some he didn't, but he didn't mind. It didn't feel like one of Rob's seedy parties. Nothing in Porth Ewan ever did.

He found Kim and dropped onto the couch beside him. "Holding up?"

Kim waved his apple juice. "Living the dream."

"Are you driving later?"

"Someone's gotta her take to Bristol."

"Long goodbye?"

"Never goodbye." Kim smiled, love and affection warming his face before he sobered a little. "I took another call for you the other day. Been meaning to tell you."

"Again?" The beer in Calum's belly turned to acid. "What did he want?"

"Didn't ask. Just told him to die in a fire before I hopped on a train and skinned him alive."

"What?"

Kim shrugged like it was nothing. "Someone had to. Better me than Brix, cos he loves you enough to actually do it."

"You don't?"

"If you want me to love you like Brix does, you'll have to convince him to share." Kim winked, joking.

Calum relaxed. "Thanks for dealing with that. I could tell him to fuck off myself, but you've probably saved me another six months of harassment."

"Nah, we'd kill him first. Or hire Lena's dodgy mates to do it for us."

That didn't sound like a joke. Calum shook it off and enjoyed Kim's company a little while longer before Lee tracked him down and trod on his foot.

"I need you."

"For what? I already drove you to Bude this morning."

"I can't need you for more than one thing?"

"Depends what it is."

"Help me carry Lena's present in."

"She said she didn't want one," Kim countered.

Lee sent him a withering glare. "Didn't stop you building her a special box to cart her bass around in, did it?"

"I had extra pallets."

"You're extra, all right." Lee poked her tongue out and offered Calum her hand. "Please?"

Calum let her yank him up and followed her out into a car park crammed with motorbikes and leather-clad men with more ink than Brix.

Rubi was among them. He caught Calum's gaze and waved.

Calum waved back, but Lee crushed his toes again. "Jesus. What?"

"I don't really need your help. We got her a charm bracelet."

"Then why am I here?"

"Brix came out here. I thought you might want to go after him."

She wasn't wrong. Calum left her with a couple of bikers she seemed to know and abandoned the pub, following the call of the ocean. To Brix and the glow they'd cocooned around themselves since that explosive kiss in the caves.

And every kiss that had followed. Every touch. Every night they'd spent in Brix's bed, accepting their demons instead of fighting them.

"Waiting for a bus?"

Calum spun around. Brix stood behind him, smirking enough to turn Calum's brain to mush. "You fucker. I was looking for you."

"Up the road? I was six feet away from you five minutes ago. Where the fuck did you think I'd gone?"

"Lee said you came out here. She, uh, I don't know. It kinda sounded like you needed me."

Brix stepped closer. "I do need you."

"Oh yeah? For what?"

"Lots of things." Brix sidled into Calum's waiting arms. A perfect fit. Of course. "Keeping my chooks in order, managing Lee, setting that computer on fire. Most of all, though…" He brought his lips an inch from Calum's. "Most of all, for this."

Brix kissed Calum as if they were at home, shut away from the world, not standing at the side of the road for the whole of Porth Ewan to see. For his dad to see. The Blood Rush staff. He kissed Calum like he had no intention of ever stopping, and despite their public location, smouldering desire seared Calum's nerves.

He steadied himself on the drystone wall behind him. Brix pressed closer, harder, and Calum couldn't contain a low moan. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Brix's chest expanded with a shaky breath. "I don't know what I'm trying to do. I just saw you and this happened."

Calum searched his gaze. They'd talked about sex a lot since the cave, but he hadn't got a vibe that Brix was anywhere near ready to do anything about it. Had something shifted that he hadn't seen? Did the heat of Brix's thick cock digging into his thigh mean something?

Stop second-guessing him. But that was as impossible as not shifting to trace the length of Brix with his palm, shielding Brix from prying eyes with his body, revelling in Brix's snatched, hot breath, before he caught himself. "Fuck. Sorry."

Brix made a strangled sound.

Calum cupped his neck, fingers dancing on the bare skin of his throat. "Brix?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

Brix nodded, slowly, wrapping his hands around Calum's wrists. "I was just thinking . . ."

"Thinking what?"

"That we need to leave. Now."

* * *

. . . we need to leave. Now.

Five words had never excited or terrified Calum so much. He let Brix lead him back inside to say goodbye to Lena. Then they left, and walking home felt like a dream.

A short dream, punctuated by heated stares and the loaded brush of Brix's fingers to his knuckles. The tenuous promise that what was to come could erase years of pain and heartache.

The cottage was dark. Zelda's amber eyes gleamed like smouldering embers, Dennis waiting in her shadow.

Calum fed them on autopilot. Washed his hands in the sink.

Brix slid his arms around his waist from behind and pressed his lips to his neck. "It's not a dream."

Calum gripped the counter, closing his eyes to Brix's touch. "How did you know I was wondering?"

"You always wonder. It's what makes you so fucking special."

Brix spun Calum around and kissed him like he had outside the pub, moulding his chest to Calum's, claiming his mouth. But the rest of it was different—his roaming hands, and the cant of his hips. The deeper press of his hard cock against Calum's.

The spark hit sun-dried tinder. Calum surged into the embrace and propelled Brix backward. They hit the table, the scrape of wood on tile a startling screech. But it had nothing on the rapid acceleration of Calum's heart. On the throb in his jeans.

He steadied them, snatching a breath. Then he kissed Brix again, bruising—searching—and he found the answer in Brix's blazing stare.

"Cal, I need you in my bed."

They stumbled to the stairs, leaving clothes on every step. Tumbled into Brix's room and fell on the bed.

Calum was naked.

Brix wasn't.

Calum pushed his jeans over his slim hips, underwear along for the ride, giving Brix every opportunity to stop him, but it didn't happen. Brix kicked the last of his clothes away and covered Calum's body with his own, skin to skin.

Heart to heart.

Calum felt Brix's pulse hammering in time with his own. "We can stop," he whispered. "Any fucking time, and it'll always be okay."

"I love you." Brix slid his hand along Calum's jaw. Then he moved like a snake, lifting Calum up the bed with a strength that belied his slender arms, and something clicked—exploded—and every doubt and fear faded a little bit more.

Brix's body was beautiful. Inked and lean. Calum couldn't get enough. He explored every inch, tipping Brix onto his back, gripping his thighs as he nuzzled his groin. "Can I blow you?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to. It won't hurt me, Brix. Let me do this for you."

Brix lay back, folding his hands behind his head. Calum took his cue and lowered his mouth to Brix's cock, sliding his lips over the tip, swallowing him whole with a long, slow slide.

"Fuuuuuck." Brix jolted. "Boy, don't kill me before I bang you. I'll haunt you, I fucking swear."

A laugh knotted in Calum's chest, but the scent and taste of Brix distracted him. Consumed him. And not even Rob's evil voice could stop him making the most of Brix's every tremble and groan.

Nothing could. Bringing Brix to the edge was everything. Calum's blood zipped and his heart raced, as into this as he was to Brix touching him.

I'd swallow his cum.

Knowing Brix would never let him was a shadow on the horizon for another day.

Brix tugged him up and flipped them, wedging himself between Calum's legs, long fingers wrapping around Calum's dick. "You're so hard."

"You have that effect on me."

Brix laughed, but it was tinged with nerves. "I need you to get the lube and condoms I put in the drawer yesterday. I can't fucking do it."

Calum's eyes were heavy with arousal. Anticipation hazing his brain. But for Brix, anything. He kept his gaze locked on Brix and stretched an arm over his head, fumbling for the drawer. He didn't ask what had compelled Brix to gather supplies. Didn't look if there were three condoms in the box or thirty. Just grabbed one and the lube bottle and dropped them on the bed.

He shut the drawer for no reason whatsoever.

Again, Brix laughed. "Scared they'll jump back in?"

"Right now?" Calum traced Brix's lips with his tongue. "I'm not scared of anything."

"You should be. I feel like I've never done this before."

Of all the things Calum could fear in this moment, Brix being shit at sex wasn't one of them. The look in his eye, though…it gave Calum pause. Brix liked to top. Calum had known that years ago. And Calum preferred to bottom. Right? Or had he just done that more?

He knew the answer a week ago, but with Brix trembling in his arms, everything felt different. Calum kissed him, easing him onto his back, his heavier weight pinning him down. A dozen scenarios flashed through his head. He'd imagined this moment more times than he cared to admit, but never quite like this.

Brix was still shaking, breathing too fast.

Calum brushed his hair back from his face. "Can I fuck you?"

Brix exhaled hard. "I think I'll die if you don't."

"No dying." Calum reached for a condom. "Just bear with me—I haven't done this in years either."

He sat up to sheath his dick and grab the lube bottle.

Brix stole it—the bottle, not his dick—and flicked the cap. He slicked Calum's cock, and squeezed lube onto Calum's fingers. "I fucking need you."

"You have me." Calum let his fingers do the talking, working Brix up again, his dick a stone column of aching need.

Then he dropped a hand either side of Brix's head and let the stars align.

He slid inside Brix like he was made of glass, strong and pure—fragile—tracking every flutter and flicker in his face. Every shiver. Every breathless groan as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Fuck." Brix gripped Calum's shoulders. "You're so big."

"Am I hurting you?"

"No. No. It's just a lot."

"Breathe."

Brix obeyed, moving air through his lungs, relaxing around Calum's cock, his body taking over, drawing Calum deeper, coaxing him to thrust. And thrust, setting a rhythm that rolled their eyes and curled their toes, arching Brix's back from the bed.

Calum groaned, overcome, falling into it, as lost in Brix now as he'd always been. His kind heart and rough ways. His eyes, so haunted in the dark, but electric when he found the light. They moved together for what felt like hours. Dizzying pleasure entwined with a love Calum had never dreamed he'd find, as release bore down on him, on Brix too, sweet tension faltering the pace.

Wait for him.

Perhaps he always had been.

God, he's so beautiful.

Brix came a heartbeat before Calum, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut, a harsh groan tearing from his chest. A moment that, even if they never did this again, would be seared on Calum's soul forever.

I love him.

Eyes burning, he thrust deep and stayed there, pouring everything he had into Brix, forgetting about the condom, the meds, and the broken hearts that had steered them here. He forgot about everything except loving Brix.

And the fact that he was probably crushing the life out of him.

Oops.

He eased back, lifting his chest so Brix could breathe, and withdrew, catching the condom, poking it back in the wrapper to deal with later.

Sweat coated both of them. Calum gripped Brix's chin with a damp hand and searched his gaze for any sign of distress or regret.

He found none. Brix was dazed, but happy, his grin sleepy, but a mile wide, lighting the dim room as Calum stroked his cheek with the pad of his thumb. "All right?"

Brix nodded. "Can't find my tongue."

"I took it. It's mine."

"Fine by be." Brix's eyes started to close. Then they flew open, panic sparking as he seemed to notice the sticky mess between them for the first time.

His cum on Calum's skin.

"Fuck." He jerked up.

Calum restrained him. "Leave it."

"I—"

"Shh."

Brix didn't fight Calum.

Only himself.

Eventually, he fell asleep. But not for long, and the next time he opened his eyes they were clear. "Cal?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you fuck me again?"