10. The Saddest Secret Handjob

10

THE SADDEST SECRET HANDJOB

TERESA

" I can't believe I lost my shoes in the sex cave," I mourn, wincing as my much-less loved pair of dance shoes dig into my heels.

"I can't believe you got eaten out in a sex cave," Taara mutters, shaking her head.

Once mama bear woke up, there was no avoiding her coming with me to the bar to make sure I made ‘good choices.'

I'm still not sure what I'll do if I see Pacari again. But what I really want to do is make him regret ditching me like he did. I want him begging on his knees for forgiveness, and only then will I let him try anything else. No, correction—then I'll let him try everything else.

Dawn is too caught up in whatever mystery she seems to have found in Zephyr's things, and Anelisa is allergic to people, so they both stayed behind with Zephyr. Taara couldn't be swayed, insisting someone had to go with me. ‘The buddy system.' Not the most ideal wing-person for a night where I plan to really slut it up, but I can work around it.

Once we're inside, I'm surprised by how busy it is. Compared to the other day, it's poppin' .

"Is it a holiday or something?" I ask Taara.

She furrows her brow. "I don't think so. Not any well-known ones, anyway."

We sidle up to the bar, and the bartender from the other night, Lydia, catches my eye and winks. My heart does a little flutter. Something about being winked at by a pretty girl…

My eyes shoot over to Taara, whose mouth drops open slightly. I wiggle my eyebrows at her, and she glares at me.

"Nuh-uh, you know I'm on a dating ban," Taara says.

"Okay, Miss Serial Monogamist," I laugh. "I believe you."

"Besides, she's working. That's so gross to hit on her while she's working."

"Mmm, you have a point there. Way to stand out from the crowd. She's bound to fall into your arms because of your basic human decency."

Taara pushes me and I laugh as I lean against the counter .

"Hey, Lydia!" I call out as she walks over.

"Hey, cutie!" she greets before her eyes run over Taara. "And cutie number two."

I elbow Taara, and she elbows me back.

"Another Screaming Orgasm?" Lydia offers. "Or Sex on the Beach? You really get around, huh?"

Taara blushes, but I laugh. "This is my friend, Taara. She's here to make sure I don't end up in the clutches of some obscenely hot guy with a cute dog again."

"Again? I'll have to hear that story."

"You saw some of it! It's the guy I was making out with yesterday," I say, surprised at how confused she seems.

"I'm not placing him, but I definitely remember you," she says. "Those dance moves? Damn!"

"You really don't remember the hottie with the dog? His name is Pacari. He might live around here?"

She furrows her brow, thinking hard. "Sorry, hun. Drawing a blank. I usually have a pretty good memory for faces and names. Comes with the territory."

I sigh—both frustrated and deeply confused. "That's fine. Can I get a… I dunno, what's a good ‘fuck you, I'm so hot' drink?"

"Depends on who you're trying to impress. Me? I think any drink'll look great in your hands if you tip well. "

"Oooh, forward, aren't you?" I laugh.

"Boundaries, set," Taara murmurs to me pointedly.

"So what if some guy ditched you after giving the best head of your life?" I ask.

"After you gave him the best head?" she asks.

"No, him to me," I clarify dejectedly.

"Huh. I'd drown it out in the sugariest, girliest cocktail I could find," she says after a moment's thought.

"Yeah, get me one of those."

"And for you?" she asks, nodding to Taara.

"I'll take your choice of whatever local beer," Taara says.

"So trusting," Lydia smiles. "I like that in my customers. Can I start a tab for you two?"

Taara and I hand over our cards. With another wink, Lydia turns to make our drinks.

"How am I supposed to survive that much flirting?" Taara grumbles.

She sneaks several looks back to Lydia.

"You're trying the single thing, remember?" I nudge. "But I get it. I get a little pitter patter too when she looks at me."

"I'm a monogamist, remember? It's less attractive when I think of her with someone else."

"Oooh, then I just wanna—" I hold Lydia's invisible head in my hands and make obnoxious smooching noises towards it .

"Sto-hop!" Taara whines, slapping my arm.

I double down.

At least, that's the plan until my eyes catch on a pair of so-familiar green eyes. I roll my lips inward, stand up totally normal—like a perfectly normal, unsilly person who was definitely not making out with a fake hot bartender to torment my friend.

It's him.

"Damn it, Taara, I wish it wouldn't be weird for me to make out with you right now," I grumble.

"Less weird than making out with the air?" she snorts.

"It's him ," I say, turning away.

"Sex cave guy?"

"Yes, that's definitely him. Even if he doesn't have his cute little dog. Actually, it's better he doesn't have his cute little dog because now I can bring out the big guns."

"The big guns?" Taara repeats. "Is that your thighs, your ass, or your tits?"

"You never heard the good word of Our Lady Khia—my neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack?"

"Mmm… you're just trying to make a joke, but my answer was better," Taara laughs.

Lydia dropped off our drinks while my back was turned (awkward, if she saw me making out with her invisible doppelg?nger). I knock back the drink without even tasting it, and I'm pleasantly surprised by how good it tastes.

"Shit, that's good!" I say. I down the rest of it and slam the glass on the bar like the himbo son of a one-eyed Allfather and shout, "Another!"

"Calm down, Teresa, or you're gonna end up losing another pair of shoes in a sex cave."

"I just want to make him super jealous," I admit.

"By drinking the bar?"

"No, I'm gonna—come on, let's dance," I say, pulling Taara up with me.

If she's here to be my wings, I'm gonna use her. Thankfully, Taara actually likes to dance, unlike half of our friends. It makes getting into a sexy groove with her way easier, even if she isn't the best dancer. Honestly, what makes her a great partner is that she has fun, and that's all you can ask for. People around us start cheering us on. Some guy comes up to me, and another woman comes up to Taara, so we start dancing with our new partners.

The plan is working.

We introduce ourselves, and new guy compliments me on my moves.

"I love a thicc girl who knows how to move," he says, planting his hands on my hips as he pulls me closer.

"Yeah?" I say sweetly, batting my eyelashes at him .

Some guys are just so easy and extra cheesy. But he's not the target. No. If Pacari is watching, I need to make sure. And I need him to see what he's missing. I run my hands through the guy's hair and dance us in a circle until I can spot Pacari. He's dancing with some guy who looks absolutely head over heels. My heart twinges a little—maybe that's his actual boyfriend? Maybe he was just messing around with me and got worried? Maybe he's actually gay, and I was his test subject.

But as I watch them dance together, it becomes apparent that they just met. Only that this guy is as in deep as I feel. In just a day . And for his new victim, probably just a few minutes. Shit, and it makes it worse that apparently Pacari is bisexual—I can't help but find people extra attractive when they're queer. It isn't fair. It's inhuman for anyone to have this kind of effect on me or anyone—everyone, to be more precise. I try to bury my feelings, to admit that he's just a player.

But no. I still want the upper hand. I'm petty like that. Vengeance calls to me. I refuse to be the only one pining here. And when he's good and pining, I'll get a good fuck out of him and leave him high and dry.

I wink at my new enemy, and pull my dance partner in close, our mouths nearly touching.

"Oh fuck," the guy says. " You're so hot."

"I know," I say pertly. "Wanna show everyone how hot I am?"

The guy gets the message, slides his arms around my waist and grabs my ass.

"This okay?" he asks.

Mm, just like a guy to try first and ask questions later. Instead of answering, I pull his head towards mine and give him a big, decadent kiss. He groans into my mouth—which is kind of cute, I have to admit. I also feel bad for using him like this. He's probably a decent guy.

Oof, I don't even know his name.

"What's your name, stud?" I ask.

I wince. Sometimes I wonder if I watch too much porn. Who talks like that?

"Michael," he breathes, pulling me in for another kiss. "You?"

"Teresa," I say, pulling away from his mouth to kiss down his neck. I drag my arms down his chest towards his belt.

Behind Michael, I see Taara staring at me wide-eyed. Excuse me? she mouths.

Vengeance , I say back. She looks at me, confused. Not the best lip reader. Don't worry , I try instead.

She rolls her eyes. As I kiss down Michael's neck, I see Pacari. He looks somewhat shocked, though his new victim has no clue. Pacari looks down at the guy, somewhat sadly, and pulls him close. Michael kisses my neck as I watch the hottest man I've ever seen make out with a guy from five feet away. The moan I let out is not from the guy on my neck. Shit, now I'm fetishizing two dudes kissing.

Except… Except Pacari doesn't ever break eye contact with me the whole time he's kissing his dance partner. Not when he starts kissing down his neck, nor when he grinds into him hard.

He's winning.

Crap.

And it's so fucking hot.

I turn around and wrap Michael's arms around me. He still doesn't stop kissing. His hands stray upwards across my stomach. I ensure we're facing Pacari as Michael fully cups my breast, making sure to arch back. His lips roam across my neck. I run my hands through my hair, still making sure we're dancing in some way so we don't get kicked out for public indecency.

But the strangest thing.

I've never seen a guy giving a discreet handjob in the middle of a dance floor look quite as morose as Pacari.