Chapter 31

They kept her in a hotel for fifty-six hours.

Cas was alone, barred from leaving under any circumstances (unless, they were quick to reassure her, the hotel caught fire, in which case, she was perfectly free to leave).

In any other scenario, lounging in a bed all day and ordering free room service would have been a luxury, but here, isolated in this tiny room unable to talk to anyone...

It was a fucking nightmare.

She hadn't been given her phone back yet, which, while annoying, was probably for the best. Cas knew herself well enough to know that she had self-destructive tendencies at the best of times, and she didn't need the Hot Summer team to help her along in that regard.

There'd be plenty of time for her to obsess over whatever people were saying about her online in a few days.

They put her on a late-night flight back to London on Wednesday, sneaking her back into the country like you might sneak someone your parents disapproved of into your bedroom. Cas only half believed the producers when they told her the flight timing was a move to protect her. The paps, whatever amount of them there would be, were expecting her to fly out the next morning. But privately, Cas also thought they'd scheduled it like this to torture her; there was something exquisitely painful in spending the entire day being anxious about her flight—and what might come after it.

Just in case, though, she still pulled her hair up into a ponytail and tucked it into a baseball cap. That hat, paired with the most enormous sunglasses she owned, and Cas was convinced she was invisible.

The flight back to London was easy enough, in part because the Hot Summer team arranged for her to get picked up at Luton rather than having to sort out the train as a final way to avoid any press.

The driver popped his gum in way of greeting as she settled into the back seat. "Camden, yeah?"

Cas shifted in her seat. The leather was warm and sticking to the backs of her thighs. As much as she appreciated a good full-circle moment, she really could've done without this one. "Mm-hmm."

"Nice. Oh, and..." He held something back over the seats, and Cas realized with a jolt that it was her phone. "Chloe gave me this to give to you. There's a cord you can use to charge up down there." He pointed at the floor, and sure enough, there was a bright white cord curled up against the dark gray carpet.

"Cheers." Cas had barely bent down to grab said cord when the driver jolted the car forward, nearly sending Cas's forehead into the center console.

She let her phone charge peacefully on her lap for the first few minutes of her journey, debating just leaving it off entirely. But then, apparently now juiced up enough to have a mind of its own, it switched back on.

It was suspiciously, dangerously silent for six and a half minutes until, finally, the notifications started swarming in. Her email notifications were in the hundreds, every single one of her social media accounts exploded, and WhatsApp was just... It'd probably be easier to delete it than try to get a handle on all the messages.

She should have turned off her social media notifications before she'd left for the show, saved herself the trouble, but, truth be told, she hadn't thought that far ahead. The emails and texts she'd anticipated, and, okay, she knew people were probably going to be on her social media, especially if Aisha and Skye were as successful running it as they'd promised they would be, but nothing had prepared her to leave in a haze of scandal. No amount of muting or blocking would have saved her from the avalanche in her mentions.

The least she could do now was turn off push notifications, but she had to check all her apps once to clear the horrible red circles off her screen.

Twitter—792

Instagram—834

TikTok—904

The numbers themselves were wild—enormously large, especially compared to her usual social media activity—but the comments people had felt the need to tag her in...

@casmorgan is a fucking SNAKE for real

I can't believe @casmorgan really led actual goddess @adahall on THIS ENTIRE TIME

fuck @casmorgan and @hotsummer for bringing her on this year

Her DMs, too, were an absolute nightmare.

And she was an idiot for clicking into them in the first place, but she couldn't seem to help herself.

There were hundreds of messages.

And if she thought the things that people were saying about her in public were bad... it was nothing compared to what was waiting in her inbox. But, even so, one could only be told they're a horrible person who doesn't deserve love, or actively have death wished upon them, so many times before it started to lose all meaning.

Cas was just about to lock her phone when she noticed an exchange at the very bottom of her inbox and she felt her heart stop.

Ada Hall

It wouldn't have really been Ada—her phone was still locked up somewhere like Cas's had been—but this was her friends, who had access to her accounts. And they'd been talking to Cas's friends.

The stupidest thing Cas could do right now would be to click on that thread.

So, naturally, she did so immediately.

There were loads of messages there, usually exchanged as the show was airing, but there was a clear and pretty constant stream of communication. Cas couldn't sit here and read them all—she wasn't going to let herself—but she could... skim.

Cas Morgan:I know what they made it seem like in that challenge, but I swear to you, Cas was all in with Ada. I could see it on her face

Ada Hall:I... look, I want to believe you, but Ada is crushed. And Cas didn't say anything! There were so many opportunities that she could have spoken up

Cas Morgan:she signed an NDA before she left—she joined HS for a work thing, yes, but I know her feelings for Ada were real

Cas Morgan:she hasn't looked at anyone like that in years

Ada Hall:Have you spoken to her?

Cas Morgan:no not yet—she's supposed to be coming home tomorrow

Ada Hall:hmm

Ada Hall:ok. I want to believe you but...

Cas Morgan:I know. But trust me, we'll clear all this up as soon as she gets home. I'll get Cas to reach out to you or something

Cas Morgan:please just talk to Ada. Try and see if she'd be open to a convo w Cas

Ada Hall:... ok

Cas didn't know if that was a great idea, all things considered. Didn't know if it was even worth it.

Ada's friends were making it seem like Ada was all in, like she was crushed, but through the screen, they might have missed the pure hatred in Ada's eyes when she'd looked at her back in the villa. Ada hadn't listened, hadn't cared about Cas enough to believe her.

Angry or not, if Ada'd meant it when she said that she wanted to be with Cas, she should have given Cas the benefit of the doubt. Trusted her.

Especially when Cas had put so much trust in her.

Cas scrolled through the rest of the messages, but the earlier ones were hard to read. They'd started a spreadsheet, apparently, trying to find her and Ada a flat (Cas would never look at that spreadsheet, no matter how much they paid her), they were celebrating when Cas and Ada had kissed for the first time outside of a challenge. They thought Cas and Ada had chemistry. Talked about how they could see it on their faces.

It was one thing when people inside the villa told Cas that she obviously had feelings for Ada. When Femi and Sienna and Freddie made a point to outright say or subtly suggest that there were feelings there. But for her friends, for Ada's friends, the people who knew them best in the world to see it?

It made Cas feel like her heart was breaking all over again.

Because, even if there had been something between her and Ada, the fact remained that it was over now. She was alone—she'd flown back alone, was in this car alone, and Ada had had the opportunity to come back with her, to let Cas explain, make amends, but she'd shut the door on that. Forever, as far as Cas was concerned.

In spite of her best efforts to get a handle on herself, Cas felt her emotions ratcheting higher and higher as they approached her flat. It was emotional, seeing these places that were so familiar to her. She hadn't even been gone that long, but each one she passed—the Turkish restaurant on the corner, the pub, the big Sainsbury's—was a reminder that she wasn't in Cyprus anymore. That the moment she stepped out of this car, she was going to be severed from the show entirely.

It was so frustrating, that separation, but also the fact that part of her wished she was back there at all. This show had observed and exploited and manipulated her and here she was, wishing that—

She bit the inside of her lip. Squeezed her phone just to feel something.

If the emotions were powerful driving into Camden, they were overwhelming as they turned down her road. When she spotted the Georgian terraced house, the windows in their top-floor flat thrown open, curtains fluttering in the breeze.

The moment she saw Aisha and Skye, Cas burst into tears.

She hadn't meant to, was actually mortified that it had happened, but the sight of them there, arms outstretched, faces sad... Everything sitting just underneath the surface had bubbled over so quickly that Cas didn't have any hope of retaining it.

"Oh, babe."

Aisha was the first to move, Skye about half a second behind. They were so familiar, but it had been so long it was almost nostalgic, seeing them again, smelling Skye's cologne and Aisha's hand cream, feeling their arms around her again. Aisha's arms were around Cas's shoulders, Skye's were around her middle, and they crushed Cas to them as they whispered over and over that it was okay. That they loved her. That they had her.

Cas dropped her bag on the ground with a heavy thud and wrapped her arms around them both, clinging to them like they were in the middle of a vast, bottomless ocean.

They stood in the entry for a long time before, finally, Cas pulled away, wiping her face with her sleeve. "Thanks."

"We missed you," Skye said. They grabbed Cas's bag off the ground and stepped back so Cas could kick off her shoes.

"We really did," Aisha agreed. "How was the flight?"

They both seemed to be walking on glass, sticking to the easiest topics while Cas got through the door. She knew it wouldn't last—Cas might get away with it for a while with Skye, but Aisha was going to let her have it as soon as she thought Cas could handle it—but she appreciated the game of pretend they were all playing.

"Okay." Cas started shuffling down the corridor and Skye and Aisha followed.

"We left your door open," Aisha said, "so it didn't get musty."

"And we gave it a refresh last night," Skye said. They flung Cas's suitcase onto her bed, and now that she was looking, it did look nice in here. Nicer than Cas had left it.

Her pillows had been recently fluffed and the throws she normally had balled at the end of her bed were now artfully draped over her white duvet, the patterns layered so they looked intentional rather than random selections Cas had picked up over the years. Her desk, too, had been dusted, and the assortment of cups and mugs that nearly always lived there or on her bedside table was gone.

"I see you remembered to water my plants," Cas said, nodding toward the collection around her room.

Skye nodded. "I knew you'd kill us if we didn't, so we set up a rotation."

Cas's lips twitched with a smile. "Really?"

Aisha nodded and dropped down into the round wicker chair Cas had in the corner near the window. "It started with passive-aggressively putting the watering can into each other's rooms, but we upgraded to a magnet for the menu board in the kitchen a few weeks ago."

Cas huffed a laugh before moving over to the bed. She intended to open her suitcase, to start unpacking, because the faster she washed the villa off everything, the better. It was easier thought than done, though, because her hands froze on the back of the case.

They were all silent for a few seconds before Skye cleared their throat. "I'll go make tea."

Skye walked off down the corridor, and Cas counted their footsteps before taking a deep breath and, unable to come up with any more reasons not to, unzipped her suitcase.

Aisha watched as Cas flipped open the lid, stopped to stare at the things she'd shoved inside.

"Do you want help?"

Cas shook her head, still just looking at the contents.

Aisha let her process silently for a few seconds before she got quietly to her feet, walked over, and sat down on the other side of Cas's bed.

"So, obviously you're upset," Aisha said. She lifted a handful of clothes off the top and dropped them to the floor.

"What gave you that impression?"

"It's a mystery, for sure."

Cas took out her toiletries bag and set it on her nightstand.

"I mean, yeah, I'm not thrilled." She grabbed her trainers and one of her pairs of sandals and threw them toward her wardrobe. "But I'll get over it."

"Will you?"

Aisha's expression was too intense. Too earnest. Cas couldn't look at her, just more shoes onto the floor.

"Look, I'm not saying this to upset you, and I'm sure Skye will kill me—"

"Why will I kill you?" Skye walked in, three mugs of tea balancing between their fingers.

"She's about to confront me about something," Cas said, walking over and grabbing the most precarious mug from Skye's hands.

"There are treats in my pocket," Skye said, nodding at the kangaroo pocket on the front of their hoodie. Cas reached inside as Skye handed Aisha her tea and pulled out an entire packet of ginger biscuits.

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Do we need the whole pack?"

"We probably need two if Aish is confronting you already," Skye said. They plucked the biscuits from Cas's hand, took one for themself before handing one to Cas.

"I just feel like we should get it out of the way," Aisha said, accepting her own biscuit from Skye. "There's no point dancing around it when we're all thinking about it anyway."

"Okay, but we didn't need to bombard her the moment she walked in," Skye said.

"Yeah, but—"

"Guys." Cas held up her free hand. "It's fine. You're right anyway, I'm sure. You usually are."

Aisha flashed Skye a smug smile before dunking her biscuit into her tea. "See."

Skye rolled their eyes. "Anyway, what were you going to say that was going to make me kill you?"

"Just—" Despite her earlier confidence, Aisha seemed a little nervous now. Like she wasn't entirely certain she wanted to say what she was going to say next. "You were really happy with Ada. And I know"—she held her hand up before Cas could even start protesting—"I know, but when she comes back, I really think you need to talk to her."

Cas set her mug down and started tossing clothes out of her suitcase and onto the bed. "There's no point. She made it pretty clear she doesn't want to talk to me."

"It was the heat of the moment," Aisha said. "You both were angry."

"I wasn't angry; I was upset." Her voice cracked on the last word, and she swiftly took a drink of tea to cover it. "I wanted to explain, but she wasn't listening."

"So you decided to run away."

"Aisha—" Skye said, but Cas shook her head.

"I had to leave. They were literally kicking me out the door."

"No, I'm not talking about then. I'm talking about now."

Cas crossed her arms. "How am I running away now?"

"You're already refusing to talk to her when she gets out of the villa. You're the one closing the door."

Skye sighed heavily but, apparently, was going to let this conversation run its course, because they grabbed Cas's toiletries bag and started unpacking it in silence.

"I'm not—" It was actually outrageous, the suggestion. "I'm not running away. She doesn't want anything to do with me. You saw it." She pointed angrily out the door, toward the lounge where their television sat. "You heard what she said to me."

"Look." Aisha put her hand on top of Cas's, and though Cas, in her frustration, wanted to pull away, she knew that it came from a kind place. "I'm not trying to piss you off, I just wanted to circumvent all the doom and gloom I know you're about to get up to in this room. Remind you that you've got another option."

It was almost rude, the fact that Aisha knew exactly what she'd been planning on doing the second she finished unpacking.

Cas sighed and sat down on the end of her bed, scooting back so she was half leaning up against her pillows.

"It doesn't really seem like an option, talking to someone who doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"Only because you're afraid."

"I'm not—"

Aisha held up her hand. "You are. And I know you don't like to hear that or believe that, but you're terrified that Ada refusing to leave the villa with you is the same thing as Saoirse fucking off back home."

As much as Cas wanted to reject the suggestion, there was no point denying it. She was afraid. Had been since the moment Saoirse had walked out on her.

She'd avoided relationships for years because she was too afraid of the consequences, and now the first time she opened up to someone, it happened again.

"She said she'd come with me if I left." Cas tucked her feet up underneath her, careful to balance her tea on her knee. "She didn't. It's simple."

"You have to see it from her perspective," Aisha said gently. "She thought you never actually cared about her."

"Ada didn't stay behind because she wanted to," Skye added quietly. They'd been so quiet, just listening, that Cas had almost forgotten they were there. "You could see it in her face, her heart was broken."

Cas laughed bitterly. "Yeah, well, how do you think I feel?"

In spite of herself, she felt a few tears leak out of the corners of her eyes, and she swiped away at them with her sleeve.

"Like hell?" Aisha guessed, and Cas laughed.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Look." Aisha slid across the duvet and put her hand on Cas's thigh. "I'm not saying you need to pick yourself up right now. Wallow for a few days. A week, hell." She squeezed Cas's leg and gave her a bracing smile. "But figure out what you're going to do. Even if you don't want to get back together with her, you can't just leave this forever."

"Especially because you're going to have to see her at the reunion," Skye added.

Cas hadn't even thought about that. She groaned and fell back onto the pillows, careful not to slosh her tea.

"Great," Aisha said, "you killed her."