Chapter 10

Cas hardly paid attention to the rest of the rankings—was only aware of the fact that, on the boy's side, Femi scored the top spot, despite being shackled to someone as desperately unlikable as Cas.

The only moment of vindication she received was the fact that Brad was also ranked last on the boys' side. But even that relief was short-lived when her brain whispered that that meant she and Brad were liked an equal amount by the British public.

Cas thought that was going to be it for the evening, but then, just as she was getting ready to bolt, Tia got a text. Luckily for Cas, it was harmless.

"?‘Lovers! To celebrate your first successful ranking, the top two lovers are going out on a date! Sienna and Femi, please get ready to leave the villa now.'?"

The girls ran up the stairs, and Cas mustered every ounce of energy she could. She was excited about this for Sienna and Femi, she was, but the urge to sit in a corner and sulk was almost overwhelming. Still, Cas worked diligently, dragging outfits out of the wardrobe alongside everyone else as soon as they got to the change room, taking direction from Sienna as she adjusted her makeup.

"I think I want to wear something pink," she said, "or no, oh my god. Red. Ades—" Sienna turned around, still wiping lip balm off her lips. "Can you get that red jumpsuit?"

"The one with the ribbon top?"

"Yes." Sienna whirled around in her seat and started rummaging through the lipstick container. "I don't know how I'll do the top yet, but I'm thinking crossed straps, around the neck?"

Cas started pulling shoe options from the wardrobe by the door. "Gorge."

Sienna didn't do much to her makeup—just freshened up her concealer in a few spots, swiped on shimmery eyeshadow, and applied lashes before deciding she wanted to add a light lip stain before her lip gloss. She was standing in the mirror trying to sort out how to tie the top when Femi shouted from downstairs.

"Sienna!"

Cas stuck her head out of the change room and gazed down over the balcony to the entryway. Femi stood there, black trousers and socks on, shirtless, several button-ups in hand.

"Where's Sienna?"

"Getting ready. She's trying to look hot for you."

Sienna laughed from inside the change room. "I am not!" She shouted it loudly enough that Femi could hear, and he smiled, his nose wrinkling a little with the gesture.

"What color are we wearing, Si?" He raised his voice so she could hear him, and without hesitation, Sienna responded.

"Red!"

Femi glanced down at the shirts in his hands—yellow, green palm leaf, pink, blue—and swore softly enough that only Cas could hear him, before turning on his heel.

"All right, lads, anyone got a red shirt I can borrow?"

Sienna had just finished adding the final touches to her outfit when her phone beeped to let her know that it was time to leave. She examined herself one last time in the mirror, turning to admire the long line of her legs in those trousers, accentuated by the black, strappy pumps she'd chosen, before walking out the door.

And the look on Femi's face when he saw her.

Cas was glad, for the first time, that she was living in a house with a thousand cameras, because it meant that that expression was captured from at least a dozen angles.

He'd been smiling a moment before, laughing with the boys about something as they waited in the entry, but as soon as he heard Sienna's heels on the balcony, he glanced up, his whole body freezing in place when he spotted her. Cas could see it, the way that his entire world had just spun on its axis, reoriented itself so that it was about Sienna, only and always Sienna.

Cas had never seen someone look at someone else like that. So raw and open and real, their feelings written all over their face, not a care in the world about who saw them. About whether people knew how you really felt.

Femi had his heart in his eyes, and it softened his smile, and though it was small and gentle and easy, there was an immensity to the look all the same. A comfort, a warmth that was all-encompassing.

Sienna pressed her lips together in a failed attempt to hide her own smile, her eyes sliding shyly toward the floor as she made her way down the stairs. Femi's arms were around her the moment she reached the landing.

He whispered something to her, loudly enough that the mic was surely going to capture it, but not loudly enough that Cas could hear it. Whatever it was, though, it made Sienna smile at him, and in that moment, Cas felt like she saw everything laid out between the two of them. All the possibility and potential of what they could be.

Cas glanced to Jayden, leaning up against the wall by the corridor into the lounge. His hands were in his pockets and though he wasn't smiling, there was an ease about his expression all the same. An acceptance.

Cas walked over and mirrored Jayden's stance. "You okay?"

Jayden was still looking at Femi and Sienna, separated now, taking in each other's outfits. "I let him borrow my shirt."

"That's nice of you."

Jayden shrugged. "He should look nice for her."

They all cheered as Sienna and Femi made their way out the door, but the moment the door closed, Cas walked silently upstairs on her own.

No one tried to stop Cas on her way out—they either knew she needed the time alone or didn't care enough to intervene. After a few seconds, she heard the garden door slide open, a loud shock of laughter as she walked into the bathroom.

That should be her. Out there grabbing the camera's attention.

At least she was still likely getting enough screen time—they'd probably edit this together in some pathetic montage. Dramatic cuts between Cas sitting alone in the bathroom, red-faced and covered in mascara and tears, and the lively party out in the back garden.

Maybe people would feel bad for her. Hate her less.

It was Cas's worst habit, the way she liked to hide away to lick her wounds. She could hear Aisha in her head as she dropped down onto the ground, back pressing firmly into the side of the bathtub—You have to start talking about your feelings, Cas, or you're going to combust—and the laugh that burst out of Cas now was thick, wet, depressing.

It was definitely better to be hiding away if that was what she was going to be laughing like.

The idea that she was going to talk about her feelings here? That would only make things worse.

Cas groaned softly and dropped her head to her knees.

"Bad time?"

Cas looked up at the sound of Ada's voice, surprised because she hadn't heard Ada approach. A feat that should have been impossible in the shoes she was wearing that night.

And something that was explained when Cas noticed said shoes dangling from Ada's right hand.

"No." Cas straightened her legs out in front of her, tried to subtly brush away the moisture under her eyes. "I just needed a minute. I'll be down in a second."

"No, you won't," Ada said simply. In one fluid motion, she sat on the floor next to Cas, her legs stretched out. She was the perfect mirror to Cas except her legs were about five inches shorter.

Cas stared at them for a long beat, and Ada laughed, knocked her left foot against the side of Cas's calf. "Shut up."

Cas pressed her lips together in an attempt to hide her smile. "I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking something," Ada said, and when she turned, her eyes were bright, despite the concern that creased her features. There were only a few inches between them, and Cas was surprised to see that Ada's gaze was set an inch above her own.

"How are you taller than me right now?"

Cas straightened her posture, squared her shoulders, but still, Ada was a little bit taller.

Ada laughed and straightened up, giving herself another centimeter. "I have a long torso."

"Okay, brag."

Ada rolled her eyes and knocked her shoulder lightly against Cas's. "It's hardly a brag when I'm in the store trying to find anything that fits me properly."

"You're telling me." Cas smacked her thighs with her palms. "It's impossible to find trousers that don't make me look like I'm about to go wading into the Thames and tried to dress accordingly."

Ada snorted. "My dad always called those floods. When I was twelve and, like, really growing, he'd just look at me and go, ‘Oh hey, Noah, ready for the flood?' I hated it."

Cas had never had anything like that with her family. Her parents said more than their fair share of things that she hated, sure, but she never had that nostalgic tone in her voice when she talked about it.

Ada was watching her. Cas could feel her gaze like a physical touch on her skin, could follow it as it moved from her cheek, down her neck, along her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." The word was out of her mouth automatically, but the way it broke at the end probably wasn't doing Cas any favors.

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now," Ada said softly.

"Not great," Cas admitted. Her tone was still defensive, the exact kind of thing Aisha would be chastising her for as she watched this play out on television tomorrow night.

It was just stupid, reacting like this, stupid that she cared, because she hadn't come on this show for herself and who cared about a stupid marketing job at Friday anyway, but that almost made the whole thing worse. With all the effort she'd been putting in—how she'd been editing herself and making sure she said the exact right thing and trying to keep her face in check so she couldn't be misconstrued—even then, people still didn't like her.

She'd been walking around this house all week, playing through scenarios in her head like some kind of Hot Summer expert, and now she looked like a clown.

"It's kind of sick, how they're going to have the public ranking us every week." Ada started fiddling with a long fray hanging off the end of her shorts. "It's hard enough being in here, you know? Being watched every minute of the day. No access to our friends and family."

"I'm not surprised they're doing it, though," Cas said. The move had been unexpected, sure, but the decision to rank them, to make them hyperaware of their place in the villa? It added a whole hell of a lot of drama, and that was all the producers ever wanted off this show.

Cas was almost positive the viewers would go feral over it.

"I know, but, like..." Ada shook her head, drew in a deep breath. "I hate that you're feeling like this right now. They're judging you off some highly edited, picked and chosen pieces of your life here. They have no idea who you really are."

Ada probably hadn't intended for it to, but the comment made Cas laugh a little. Because that was exactly her strategy—she knew that she'd be edited, that she'd be picked apart, and she'd tried to position herself as someone anyone could like anyway. She'd known that she hadn't been going out of her way to stand out. That she'd been sitting on the sidelines more than was reasonable, but last place? The least liked girl in the villa when, technically, she was one of the girls who had been there the longest?

By only about fifteen minutes or so, but still.

Tia had moved in on Reece within half a second of being here. Lexi shrieked, like, constantly. And she was fourth.

"I hope you know—no, that you really feel—that this isn't a judgment on you."

"Isn't it, though?" Cas hadn't meant to sound so tragic, but there it was.

"No! They don't know you. I know you. Femi knows you. Sienna knows you. We all love you. These people"—she gestured widely, waving her hand toward the invisible crowd watching this moment—"don't know you. They don't get to have an opinion on you."

"Well, apparently, they do," Cas muttered. She tucked her knees up into her chest, and though she wanted to wrap her arms around her shins, hide her face away, she resisted the urge.

"But they don't get to have an opinion that has any effect on what you think about yourself," Ada said fiercely.

For someone as soft, as easy as Ada, there was something almost menacing about her expression now. The firm set of her jaw, the square of her shoulders, the blazing look in her eyes like she'd uppercut anyone who stepped even a toe out of line.

It was a good look on her.

"You look like you could kill someone right now," Cas said.

"I feel like I could kill someone right now," Ada said. "I hate that you're up here, hiding in the bathroom, because some strangers didn't like your bikini or something this week. I guarantee that's what they've based this on, something so incredibly stupid."

"Honestly," Cas said, and it was a bold choice of words for someone who couldn't be completely honest, "I think it's because I've just, like... stayed out of everything this week. Just sat there and probably made my little faces." She made one of them now, all pinched eyebrows and turned-down corners of the mouth. "Apparently, I have a serious resting bitch face. I'm sure that didn't endear me to people."

She'd have to smile more. Laugh more. And, Christ, she hated, viscerally fucking hated, that she was giving in to an entire country that was telling her she looked so much nicer when she smiled.

"I swear, sometimes it feels like no matter what you do, people are going to have something to say about it. I'm in the top with Sienna right now, but who's to say that won't change next week? That I might do my hair differently or laugh too much or laugh too little or say something to piss off Brad and then he's running around talking shit about me all week and then that's me, hanging out in the bottom with you." She cringed as soon as the words left her mouth. "Sorry. No offense."

"None taken." And really, there wasn't. "You better partner up with someone else tomorrow, though. Brad sucks." She knew she was trying to pivot the conversation away from herself, but it also needed to be said. Ada needed to get the hell away from that relationship.

"It won't be up to me tomorrow," Ada said. And it wouldn't—with more girls than boys in the villa, the boys would get to choose whom they wanted to partner with. The girls were completely at their mercy.

"See if you can pull someone in twenty-four hours," Cas said, smiling. "I'm sure you can manage it. Look at you."

Ada exhaled a laugh and rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to try and steal someone. I'd rather, like, recouple with you, but maybe it's too early for Hot Gay Summer."

It was a little throwaway joke. But it still made Cas's heart start racing in her chest.

"Femi, though," Cas said. She tried to say it dramatically, like all would be lost for Femi, but her voice sounded raw. "I couldn't abandon him yet."

"I don't think you'll need to worry about Femi for much longer," Ada said.

"What do you mean?"

Ada shrugged, her eyes sparkling. "Sienna."

"You noticed that, too?"

"It'd be impossible not to," Ada said. "You saw them tonight."

She had.

Cas was surprised to note that she, too, was yearning to feel something like it. To look at someone the way that Femi was looking at Sienna.

"She's still considering Jayden, though, right?"

Ada shook her head. "She says she can't figure him out. He's on the quieter side and spends all day with the boys like he's trying to avoid her or something."

"We have to get her together with Femi, then," Cas said.

"I don't even think it'll be that hard, to be honest. They just need a little nudge." She punctuated it with a tap of her shoulder against Cas's, a brief moment of contact that Cas felt, electric, down her spine. "If tonight doesn't seal the deal for them, then maybe we can make that our mission. Get your mind off these pointless rankings and get our lovebirds together."

Cas couldn't afford to forget the pointless rankings entirely, not with everything she had at stake, but she could pretend. Could spend a little more time trying to relax and actually enjoy her time here.

It might even help her if she could figure out how to do it right.

"I think that sounds like a plan."

@moonlighthiker:it'll be real interesting to see if this changes anyones game

@averyart:you mean like if people recouple based on weekly rankings and stuff?

@moonlighthiker:yeah... like... I bet it's going to happen at LEAST a few times

@dayla14:how would they think they'd get away with that though? Like obvs we're all going to be watching for it

@tiffstuff:... you're acting like they bring rocket scientists onto this show

@tiffstuff:there was a boy who couldn't find Spain on a map two years ago

@dayla14:lolololol fair enough

@gracekellylol:not surprised Sienna is at the top! She better coast to the finale in the top spot or I stg

@mayashah02:I felt kind of bad for the people at the bottom

@lorrylorna:ok but... brAD????

@mayashah02:lolol true. And CAS lol ok nvm

@alexeiiiii93:she's crying about being last. Stop scowling at everyone and maybe we wouldn't hate you

@cerifrancs:no ok but. That bathroom scene with Cas and Ada??? I'm actually... liking Cas?????

@rorykavanagh:no omg seriously. Like the other day when they were talking outside, too. One of her best moments!

@cerifrancs:YES! We were just talking about that. Idk why she's so quiet the rest of the time, it's annoying

@rorykavanagh:honestly if she would just open up we'd hate her at least 30% less

@fionahughes:tbh I know Ada was joking about Hot Gay Summer but like...