Chapter 15

chapter

fifteen

Charlotte

brENDAN: I'm sorry.

The cryptic text from my brother came in ten minutes ago and I still don't know what he's sorry about. He's left my responses unread. Maybe the text wasn't even meant for me.

But then I hear the front door slam and I know the apology might just have been a warning in disguise.

It doesn't take Max long to find me. No, sweet smile for me today. Instead, his handsome features are locked into an angry scowl.

"Max?" I ask, coming to my feet.

"Where you ever planning on telling me about Evan? You know, your ex-husband?"

Oh damn.

"I realize that relationship is in the past, but surely the fact that you'd previously been married warranted a conversation with me. ‘No, Max, I don't want to get engaged right now because I'm still getting over my last marriage.' See? Not difficult words."

I swallow hard. "I didn't tell you about Evan because he doesn't matter. He's my history."

"That history is part of what made you the woman you are today. Just like how I told you about my sisters raising me and my parents' love story, despite the fact that I don't personally remember that about them. Because it's a part of me." He pounds on his chest. "It's some of the concrete pillars that became the scaffolding of the Max you see today."

He shakes his head. "You know the truth is, Charlotte. You didn't tell me about Evan, not because he doesn't matter, but because I don't matter. At least not enough." He tilts his head back looking at the ceiling for a minute. "I convinced myself you just needed time. I've been here every day, fighting for us and you haven't even been in the game."

"Max, let me explain," I say, not having the slightest clue what to say. But I just want to tie a tourniquet around us before we bleed out on the nursery floor.

He shakes his head. "I can't do this right now, Charlotte. I'm sorry."

Then he turns and walks away.

I sit in disbelief for a minute, maybe two, but by the time I get to the front door, his car is already driving away.

"Dammit!" I put my hand on my stomach. "Oh baby boy, I've done it now. I think I broke your daddy's heart."

I grab my phone and call my sister because that's what you do when your life is falling apart.

"I screwed up," I say when she answers.

"What happened?"

"I never told him about Evan. Evidently Brendan told him today. I don't know the story there yet, but now it doesn't even matter."

"What did Max say?"

"That he'd been here fighting for us, and I wasn't even playing the same game as him. Or something like that. I smashed his sweet heart, and I feel like a monster. Not only that, I'm pretty sure my own heart is breaking because I think I might love him."

"No shit. Have you told him that?"

"No. I'm not sure I fully realized it until this moment. I'm such an idiot. What do I do? He just left. How do I fix this, Chels? I can't lose him."

"Take a deep breath, babe; we'll fix it. I'm sure he'll understand once y'all can talk it all out."

"He was so angry."

"Angry because he loves you. If he didn't give a shit, he wouldn't have even bothered to confront you."

I swipe the tears off my cheeks. "Stupid Evan."

"Brendan and I had a party celebrating when your divorce was final."

That pulls a small laugh out of me. "Figures. Y'all never liked him."

"He was a spineless ass with bad hair and a tiny dick."

"How did you know about that?"

"You told me. On more than one occasion. It usually took at least two margaritas, but I could get you talking about him." She clicks her tongue. "You'd whine about how he never could satisfy you." She laughs. "It was hilarious."

"Yeah, he couldn't have found an orgasm with a map and a vibrator in his pocket.

I'm smiling now. Feeling less freaked out and more empowered. I love Max. I love him!

"Thank you for always making me laugh," I say to Chelsea. "You'd be my soul sister even if we weren't blood sisters."

"Ditto. Now go find your man and prove to him you're willing to fight, too. Love you."

Next, I dial up my brother.

"I'm sorry," he says immediately.

"It's okay. It was my fault for not telling him myself."

"Everything okay between y'all?" Brendan asks.

"No, but I'm hoping I can fix that. Do you have any idea where he would go if he was angry? He let go of his hotel room more than a week ago."

"Okay, listen, you should know that some of the guys were talking shit about you, teasing him. Max wailed on the main guy, bloodied him up pretty good."

"Shit. Is he in trouble?"

"Fuck no. He did exactly what I would have done. What the coaches don't know won't hurt them. Charlie, Max is a good man. Don't waste any more time punishing yourself for your failed marriage. You and Evan didn't belong together."

"Thanks. That means a lot. Sounds like you don't hate Max anymore."

"He's alright," Brendan says. "Try the rink. That's where I'd go."

"Right! That makes perfect sense. Thank you!"

Now that I've talked to both of my siblings, I toe on some flip-flops and grab my keys. And drive as fast, but also as safely, as possible. Carrying precious cargo and all of that.

I pat my belly when I get out of the car. "Let's go get your daddy."

Max's car sits in the parking lot with only a handful of others. Brendan was right.

Thankfully the security guard recognizes me and lets me in. The moment I step inside, I rethink my current outfit. Shorts and a t-shirt with flip-flops is great for the Texas heat, but in a building full of ice, it's not that comfortable.

I see him immediately. Not because he's the only one on the ice, but because my eyes are drawn to him like a homing device. I make my way down to the boards.

"Max!" I call once. Then I do it again even louder.

His head whips in my direction and it's then that I see the bruise blooming on his cheek. How did I miss that at the house. My gaze goes to his hands, and I find his knuckles red and broken. Because he punched a teammate. For me.

He skates to me, gliding over as if it takes no effort. I never could ice skate.

"Can we talk? Please? I have things I want to tell you. Things I should have already told you," I say.

His jaw clenches, but he nods. Then he goes to the door that leads from the ice to the stands. He doesn't bother putting on guards, he just sits on one of the benches.

I take a deep breath. "Okay, so Evan and I met our freshman year in college. We were both in the engineering department and had to spend significant time together when we got paired up for a project. Eventually we started dating. Then we moved in together."

Max doesn't say anything. He just sits quietly while I pace in front of him.

"He proposed right after we graduated. We got married two years after that. I'm skipping details about my job and moving up the ladder quicker than him. Initially we got a job at the same firm. Evan moved on from there right after my first promotion.

"Our relationship was easy. Effortless, really. So comfortable. He was like my favorite pair of broken in shoes. Chelsea and Brendan never liked him. Brendan wasn't here much since at the time he played for Seattle. Anyways, he hated Evan from afar."

That at least gets a tiny chuckle from him.

"Evan wanted to try to get pregnant right away. I wasn't too sure, but I went off the pill. Wanted to be a team player or whatever. And I suppose part of me thought that it could be the thing I could give him. We both knew I was the better engineer. Two years, not even a missed period. He blamed me. Said there must be something wrong with my body.

"Fucker," Max mutters.

"I offered to go to a fertility doctor and get everything tested. But he said no, that it didn't matter anymore because he was done. He left that night. I got the divorce papers a week later.

"He bailed on our eight year relationship at the first sign of trouble. Because there was something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you. You're pregnant right now," Max says.

"Ironic, I suppose. Anyways, to be honest, I wasn't even very sad when everything ended. I didn't miss him. But I did feel like a failure. Then, when we met, I just kept thinking about how Evan left me. He was only a couple of inches taller than me, pretty scrawny, actually. He wasn't very attractive. I mean it's not that he was ugly, but he sure as hell didn't look anything like you.

"I couldn't help thinking that if Evan left me there was no way you would want me."

"But I did. I do," Max says.

"I know. So that's my story. That's my big, messy emotional baggage." I sit down then, straddling the bench so I can face him. "I should never have held you up to Evan in comparison. There is no comparison. Not just in how you look or how you fuck. I'm making it sound like the only worth you have is your gorgeous appearance, but the truth is, Max, your heart is the most beautiful thing about you. My doubts were a hundred percent about me, not you." I give him a tiny shrug and smile.

I scoot closer to him and grab his hands. "There's no comparison to how I feel. That's the main thing. I spent so much of my time with him and it made me just write you off as a fling. Despite the fact that my heart kept telling me you were so much more." I bring his hands to my lips.

"I am so sorry I ruined everything between us."

He swallows visibly, but doesn't say anything.

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Something that would make you give me a second chance? Give us a second chance?"

He bends slightly, until he meets my eyes. "Why are you talking about second chances, beautiful?"

"My crazy stubbornness drove you off. I want a chance to win you back."

This time he's the one to scoot closer, so much so that he lifts me and sets me on his lap so I'm straddling his thighs.

"God, you're perfect. You don't have to get me back. Baby, we had a fight. You didn't lose me. We didn't break up. We just had a disagreement and I needed to blow off steam."

I stare at his gorgeous hazel eyes and let myself absorb his love because it's shining so brightly it's nearly blinding.

"I'm still in this," he continues. "I'm not some weak ass wanker. who's gonna walk away because of one disagreement. I told you I was all in, I meant it."

I grab his face and kiss him hard. "I love you Max Coleman. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I broke your heart today. I'm going to try really hard to never do that again because I broke my own heart too."

"I love you, Charlotte. You're everything to me. You and our son."

My heart feels so full, it might burst right out of my chest. "You were going to ask me an important question a couple of weeks ago. Do you think you'll ever ask me again?"

He digs in his front jeans pocket and pulls out that small black ring box.

"You have it with you?"

"It's been in my pocket of every pair of pants since I bought it, which by the way, was three months ago. I bought it at the small jewelry store in my hometown when I went back to see my sisters. I knew in my heart that we belonged together, that you were my soul mate. I placed a bet on us that day."

"I think you maybe have just hit the jackpot."