2. Matt

His dark blue eyes root me to the spot on the floor. It's like he's lassoed an invisible chain around me and tugged it so tight, I can't move or breathe.

Even though we're separated by hundreds of people and a huge dance floor, I can still feel the heat of his rage-filled gaze. It makes my blood bubble in my veins.

He's the demon I've run from for the past eight years, the one I thought I buried.

But now he's here. Breathing the same air.

After all this time, he still has the power to make every last cell tingle with pent-up need.

I can't get away from him fast enough.

I whip my head in the opposite direction and scout the room for my date, Anna Taylor. She's a pretty famous Victoria's Secret model, so it's not a shock that she's surrounded by most of my teammates. All she needs to do is flash her million-dollar smile, and they all turn into fucking stupid prepubescent boys fawning over the hot as hell blonde bombshell.

All of them except me.

Because even though she's gorgeous and has a rocking body, I wouldn't give her a second look.

And only one person in the world…who also happens to be in this room…knows why.

Tonight, we're all here to support the new foundation that two of our fellow teammates, Jase Maxwell and Lucas Bentley, recently started. After being put on suspension for a bullshit social media hoax, they were forced to do community service at a homeless shelter called Project Renewal here in Cincinnati. And after they were reinstated to the team, they decided to give even more back to the community.

Squaring my shoulders, I walk back to Anna. Jase is the second guy on our team to come out, and to be honest, it still kinda shocks me. Then again, I can't say I really knew him all that well since he had a pretty strong dickhead fa?ade built around him. It did a good job of keeping people out, and now that Lucas blew it open, I can't get over the change in Jase. I mean, he's actually not a total prick. Who the fuck would've guessed it? Definitely not me, that's for sure.

I guess people deal with being closeted differently.

Me? I just bring out the female arm candy, and everyone is so distracted by tits and ass that they don't pay a shred of attention to me.

Talk about the biggest fa?ade of all.

I rub the back of my neck and decide to stop at the bar before I head back to Anna.

Goddammit, why can't I want to fuck her senseless like all the other guys crowded around her?

Everything was absolutely fucking fine for the past five seasons. I graduated college and got drafted by the Crusaders. I didn't ever have to see Zak Kacey again. I was free from all of the guilt and regret—for the first time in years.

I was wrong for letting things happen, so fucking wrong.

But I also had way more to lose than he'll ever know.

And now my past has caught up with me, just like I knew it would.

The bartender smiles at me, and I immediately pull my eyes away from his curious ones. "Bullet old fashioned, neat," I grunt. "Hold the old fashioned."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him nod and back away to pour the bourbon. He's hot, but I don't feel a damn thing, not a single twinge or tingle. There are plenty of hot guys wandering around here, but none of them affect me, not like Zak.

It was always only him who got my blood simmering with the kind of heat that could singe every brain cell and make me do stupid, reckless things. And I did. Too many times until someone figured out the secret we'd been keeping.

I didn't have Zak's thick cushion of thousand-dollar bills to fall back on, though. I was young, stupid, and scared. The only way for me to survive was to self-protect.

So I did.

Unfortunately, that meant someone else had to suffer.

"What are you doing all the way over here?" Sean Holmes, one of the defensive backs, claps a hand on my shoulder and nods toward Anna. "If you dodge her any longer, one of the guys is gonna try to take her home."

I pick up the glass the bartender sets in front of me. "I'm not worried. She knows what she's got."

Sean snickers. "Damn, man. You parade around models and actresses like you're actually a star player or something. Who the hell are you trying to fool?"

Forcing a smile, I grip my glass tight. He doesn't know how close to the truth he is.

He leans closer. "By the way, have you seen the new owner? He's been quietly making the rounds tonight. I think he came as a favor to Vince Castro. They run in the same finance circles, from what I hear. And not only the finance ones."

A chill races through me and my head jerks up just in time to meet Zak's death glare from across the bar.

Shit, how'd he end up all the way over here?

Sweat prickles over my skin. His stare latches onto mine, and it's pretty obvious he wants to kill me with his mind. But more disturbing is my cock's reaction. Not even a naked Anna can get him going that quickly.

"He's a real asshole, though," Sean continues. "The only guys he's even acknowledged are the gay ones. It's like he doesn't give a damn about his own players, other than Lucas and Gabe."

I take a long gulp of the amber-colored liquid. "Maybe he's just not a people-person."

"Or a football fan." Sean rolls his eyes. "I just don't get why he didn't sell the team to the next biggest shareholder after his dad died months ago. Zak is a business guy and obviously doesn't give a damn about the game. Maybe he's in negotiations to sell and is waiting to announce it when the season starts."

Zak cared more about the game than anyone until the players turned their backs on him.

A pang assaults my chest.

He could have made it, could have been the superstar he dreamed of being.

Instead, I stole the dream right out from under him.

My phone vibrates against my leg, and I grab it from my pocket. Peering at the screen, my chest tightens.

Dad.

Since he only calls for one reason, I grit my teeth and stuff it back into my pocket.

I down the rest of the bourbon and put the glass on the bar. "I think I see Manning trying to cop a feel. Imma go set him straight."

"Good luck. Manning is a linebacker. He'll pummel your little kicker ass."

I half-hear him. My phone buzzes again. Anger rises in my chest. I take a quick right away from the crowd gathered around Anna and duck down a somewhat quiet hallway.

Another fucking job lost?

Another fucking bill unpaid?

Another fucking car repossessed?

What the hell is it this time?

I swallow past the knot of expletives lodged in the back of my throat. Five seasons means my contract is up for renewal…or not. I learned a long time ago that nothing in life is guaranteed. So, I keep my personal business buried down deep, like Earth's core deep.

For my whole life, I had to make sure that I could take care of myself because nobody was gonna do it for me.

And every phone call drags me back to the days where my family didn't have two nickels to rub together.

I depend on me.

But so does the rest of my family.

I pull out the phone, my hand shaking slightly.

Things worked out for Jase, Lucas, and Gabe, but I have too much riding on this gig, all because my father turned out to be the biggest fucking deadbeat on the planet with no regard for his family, only his bookie.

As it is, the new owner hates my guts.

Zak Kacey has the power to release me.

Maybe that's why he's here, why he decided to keep the team.

Revenge.

I scrub a hand down the front of my face.

No. That's stupid. We're grown-ups with real responsibilities. I'm sure he's got way more to focus on than tormenting me.

I brush off the nagging as fuck voices in the back of my mind and dial my father's number when a familiar scent clouds my head space, my ability to think snuffed out like a candle on a cake.

"All these years later, and you're clearly still living the dream."

Zak Kacey's voice hums against my ear, and I hang up before waiting for Dad to answer.

I shiver even though his breath scorches the back of my neck.

"But are you still living the lie, Matt?"