Chapter Nineteen

Freedom is just another word for …

Ian needed running to clear his head. Madrene needed absence to clear her head.

For two weeks, Madrene had been staying alone in a temporarily vacant apartment in Coronado which Ragnor and Alison had found for her. Hiding out would be a more appropriate description, since no one but the two of them knew she was there. With Ragnor’s help, she’d left a short message on the answering machines at Ian’s home and Blue Dragon, stating that she was all right but needed time alone to think. She’d sworn Ragnor and Alison to secrecy.

The apartment was merely the living quarters on the second floor of a house owned by a lovely elderly woman named Lillian, who had an adorable horse of a dog named Sam, the same name as Ian’s cat, except this animal really was a male. Apparently, Alison had lived here before marrying her brother. Now they owned a house in another part of town.

Since Ragnor was out of town at some kind of come-pewter meeting, Alison had come over to spend the afternoon with her. She was not on duty at the base hospitium on Saturdays, although she could be called in an emergency. They planned to watch a tape on the tea-vee of Sex and the City repeats. Alison was a fan of the old show, too.

“How are the lessons going?” Alison asked as they sat down in the kitchen, which overlooked the backyard. The apartment was sparsely furnished, but it served Madrene’s purposes for now.

“Very well.” Ragnor had hired a tutor to work with her three hours a day, not just teaching her reading and writing, but history and biology, and geography, and numbers, and so many other important things. “I don’t know how Ragnor, and all the rest of my family, did it. My mind gets fuzzy at all there is to know just to live here.”

“Ragnor has only been here three years, and look how well he’s adjusted. He speaks like a native,” Alison pointed out.

“Pfff. Ragnor always was more intelligent than the rest of us.”

Alison patted her hand. “It will come to you, too.”

“I love this apartment and its location,” she told Alison. “I can walk everywhere. To the ocean. To the bay. Downtown Coronado and all its shops. Even the base, if I wanted to.” Which she did not want to do, for fear she might run into Ian.

As if reading her mind, Alison asked, “Are you ready to talk about my brother yet?”

Madrene had refused to discuss Ian or her reasons for leaving him. Apparently, Ian had been just as close-mouthed.

She had deliberately not allowed herself to ask before, but she had to now. “How is he?”

“Not good. Even Sam has gone into total meltdown. Won’t eat, hisses at Ian all the time, keeps going to the closet where a shirt of yours still hangs.”

Madrene tried to smile but could not. A lump formed in her throat. “Tell me about Ian.”

“He’s devastated. This is way worse than when Jennifer left him. I honest to God think he was relieved then. But now, it’s as if someone—you—cut out his heart. The worst part is that he has totally shut down his emotions. He won’t talk about it. Claims he doesn’t care.”

“I did not mean to hurt him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you, either. Can’t you two work this out?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.” She looked at her sister-by-marriage who had become such a good friend to her. “We are not married,” she confessed.

“Really? I had no idea. I mean, everyone said you were married in Baghdad.”

“We were, but it was not legal.”

“And my brother the rat refused to marry you again,” she concluded. “Wait till I get ahold of him. I’ll wring his stupid neck.”

Madrene laughed. “No need for that. Ian did want to get married again … in a place called Lost-vague-ass. But I could not do it as long as he refuses to believe I have time-traveled.”

“Oh, Maddie, he might not ever do that. I know I still have trouble accepting it.”

“And Ragnor does not mind?”

“Sweetie, your brother would take me any way he could get me. And if he didn’t, I would force him to.” She grinned. “Another thing. Dad has been here, and he’s been badgering Ian to get off his ass and find you.”

Madrene groaned. “That is just wonderful. If anything will make Ian do the opposite, it is an order from his father.”

“You know Ian well. But he’s too hard on Dad, in my opinion. Our father is overbearing and he has been especially hard on Ian, but his heart is in the right place. Ian just can’t see that … yet.”

“I had the same impression of your father.”

“It’s stuffy in here,” Alison said. “Do you mind if I open the window?”

“No. Go ahead. I am so accustomed to the cold of the North that warmth like this is a treasure to me, as it was in the Arab lands. And, believe you me, that was the only thing I liked about the Arab lands.”

“Yummmmmm. Smell that. Lillian must be making her famous lasagna.”

“Garlic,” Madrene said with alarm as her stomach roiled and she ran for the toy-let.

When she came back out, Alison remarked, “Still have a reaction to garlic, huh? Maybe you should get a checkup. It might be an allergy or something.”

“Nay, it is only garlic that affects me so. As long as I avoid it, there is no problem.”

“So, what are you going to do about you and Ian?”

“I need a little more time. I am relishing this time alone, with more freedom than I have ever had. It is only as I have had time to contemplate that I realized my life has been akilter for a long time. I have fought and fought and fought against one stricture or another. I am tired of fighting.”

“You also need some time to heal from all the physical and emotional batterings you’ve had.”

Madrene nodded.

“But in the end, being the eternal optimist, I am confident that love will win.”

“I hope you are right,” Madrene said, because there was something else she had realized in this time of reflection.

Freedom was not everything.

Never provoke a woman in public …

It had been three weeks since Maddie had left, and Ian was royally ticked.

At first, he had been worried about her. Maddie was clueless about finding her way around the block, let alone a big city.

Then the devastation had set in. Hurt was too small a word. He had loved her beyond anything he’d ever thought possible, and she’d just sloughed him off like he was nothing to her.

Anger came next. She had a hell of a nerve leaving him without any message other than she was all right. He deserved a lot more than that. No one had any idea where she was, or if she was indeed all right.

And that time-travel crap! Give me a break!

Well, today was the first day of the rest of his life. He had just met Laura Madison for lunch at a little outdoor cafe in Coronado. She was a nurse at the same hospital where his sister worked. He was in uniform, as she was, since he had to return to the base in an hour or so. She was attractive and smart and wasn’t a psycho time-traveler. She also doesn’t have breasts that merit a Penthouse gig. Shit. I am not going to think about that. Not, not, not!

They were halfway through their Caesar salads and Laura was telling him about a recent scuba-diving vacation in the Bahamas when Ian glanced to the right, then did a double take. Torpedo time!

There came Maddie sashaying down the street as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Her hair hung in one long braid. Sunglasses were on her eyes. And she wore a tight white tanktop tucked into a jeans skirt. At the bottom of her long bare legs were sandals. She was carrying a small shopping bag from a nearby clothing shop.

His heart started beating wildly and a lump formed in his throat. All this time he’d been searching for her, she’d been right here, practically in his own back yard. His sister lived in Coronado. He would bet his left nut that she had something to do with this.

She looks great. Apparently our separation hasn’t affected her at all.

He saw the moment she spotted him. She stopped dead in her tracks, took off the sunglasses, then smiled. She actually had the balls to smile. The smile lasted only a nanosecond … till she spotted Laura at his table.

“Uh-oh!”

“What’s wrong?” Laura asked, turning in her seat to look at Maddie storming toward them like Attila the Hun.

Before he had a chance to warn Laura, Maddie reached their table. “What are you doing with my husband?”

“Hu … husband?” Laura’s eyes darted to him.

He would have said that he wasn’t Maddie’s husband, not anymore, not ever, but Maddie was on a tear. “Some women do not have the sense to stay in their own bowers. They must go sniffing around the bed furs of men who are already wed. And you …” She turned to him, her blue eyes flashing like diamonds, “… you cannot keep your dangly part in your braies even for a short time—”

“Three weeks,” he reminded her. Holy shit! I must be as crazy as she is. I feel like smiling … because I’ve missed her nagging.

She threw her hands in the air. “Three weeks. Three hours. Same thing!”

“Not to me!”

Now she was back to addressing Laura, whose mouth hung open with astonishment. She also kept checking out Maddie’s breasts … even women tended to do that. “Men! They are ever fickle, do you not agree? I do not know why I thought Ian was any different. Methinks I will go buy myself a dog. At least they are loyal. And, by the by, Ian, your vein is about to pop.”

I even like her commenting on my vein. “Maddie, you’re causing a scene,” he told her. And, man, was she! Not just because of her tirade, but about three dozen people, mostly men, had their eyes glued on Maddie’s breasts. I wonder if she’s wearing a bra.

Did she listen to his warning about causing a scene? Hardly. She sat down at an empty seat between him and Laura, linked her fingers together, setting her forearms on the edge of the table, and looked at him with those soulful blue eyes of hers.

“You’re angry,” she observed with surprise.

“No kidding.”

“I told you I was all right.”

“Big deal!”

“You knew I would come back eventually.”

“Oh, really? And how in hell was I supposed to know that?” He barely restrained himself from reaching over and shaking her. “For all I knew, you could be dead.”

“I told you I love you. Didst think I say that to everyone … or anyone, for that matter? You should have known I would not leave you.”

She still loves me. Oh, God! I should not care, but I do. I want to wring her neck and kiss her at the same time. “What planet do you come from?”

“No planet. Just time—”

“Don’t even say it. I am not in the mood for that time-travel crap.”

She shrugged, as if to suggest that time-travel needn’t be an important issue between them. Then she sniffed several times and said, pointing to their dishes, “Is that garlic I smell?”

Huh? “Yeah, there’s some garlic in this salad.” Actually, there was quite a bit, now that she mentioned it.

She did the oddest thing then. She clapped a hand over her mouth as she began to retch. Then she ran away from them, presumably to find a ladies’ room.

He looked at Laura. She looked at him. “Go,” she said.

Placing a twenty on the table, he squeezed her hand and said, “Thanks. And, for the record, she’s not my wife.”

Laura grinned at him. “She should be.”

He grinned back. “Yeah.”

Halfway down the block, he caught up with Maddie, who was heading into an alley. He grabbed one hand, the one that still clutched the shopping bag, and stopped her so that she turned to face him. She still had one hand over her mouth.

“Are you sick?” She does look kind of pale.

She shook her head, took several deep breaths, then said, “It was just the garlic.”

“Garlic? I thought maybe it was me.” Maybe I should apologize. I don’t know what for, but I’ll say I’m sorry for just about anything if she’ll come back. How pathetic is that?

She didn’t react to his words. “Ever since those terrorists kidnapped me and did so much cooking with garlic, I have developed this … reaction.”

Oh. Well, I’ll be damned if I’ll apologize for garlic. Even I am not that pathetic. He had backed her up against the brick wall in the alley. She smelled like flowers … the same scent that had hit him the last night he’d been with her. She’d told him it was body lotion. “I’ve never heard of garlic doing that to a person.”

“You look awful,” she said.

“Thanks a bunch.”

“There are circles under your eyes and you look thinner.”

“Well, you look great. In fact, you’re glow …” His words trailed off as the most bizarre idea occurred to him, and several facts flipped through his mind like a deck of cards: how glowing she’d looked walking down the street, and how white her face was now; and the retching.

Is it possible?

Nah!

But what if … ?

“Why are looking at me so funny?”

He linked his fingers with hers and said, “Come with me.”

The whole time as he dragged her along to the drug store and selected and paid for his purchase, she berated him, “You are such a low-down, good-for-nothing weasel. What were you doing with that woman? Oh! You had better not have tupped her. If you tupped her, I just might lop off your head. Better yet, another body part. Where are we going? You are walking too fast. I’m hungry of a sudden. Can we go back and get a cheeseburger, French fries and a chocolate milk shake? Oh, you are a tyrant to starve me so!”

He stopped abruptly

She ran into him.

“Where are you living?”

He could see that she considered not telling him, but she must have noticed the “No mercy” expression on his face. She gave him the address, which was only two blocks away. Yep, Alison and Ragnor had a lot to answer for. He recognized the address as Allie’s old second-floor apartment in a Coronado Victorian house.

He began pulling her along again, walking briskly. When they got to the house, she asked, “Are you going to beat me? If you even try, I swear I will kill you … mayhap not right away … but sometime in your sleep perhaps.”

He still held her hand firmly, but he put the other hand to her cheek and said, “Oh, Maddie, don’t you know? I would never, ever hit you. Never.”

“Well, I don’t understand what all the hurry is about, then,” she grumbled as they made their way up the stairs.

“Sweetheart, I am pretty damn sure I am going to make your day.”

Pink or blue, baby …

Ian had lost his mind.

That was the only conclusion Madrene could come to as he shoved her inside her apartment and tugged her toward the bathing chamber. “Pee in this cup,” he said, handing her one of those disposable cups that hung in a special case on the wall.

“I beg your pardon.” He must have gone barmy. ’Tis my fault. I made him demented.

“Pee in the damn cup.” He had the nerve then to lift her skirt, pull down her panties and shove her onto the toy-let seat. Then he shoved the cup between her legs.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“Undoubtedly. I’m not leaving till you do it.”

Despite her mortification, she did as he ordered. “You’d better not be planning that perverted thing in bedsport that they did on Sex and the City . There are some things that I will not do. For a certainty, that crosses the line.”

His mouth gaped open like a blowfish, and then he laughed.

After she got up and adjusted her clothing and washed her hands, he barred her from leaving. “What is going on with you?” she asked.

He had taken out the box he’d purchased downtown. It had the letters E, P and T on it. She tried to sound it out, but the word made no sense.

Taking an object out of the box, he stuck it in the urine. He truly is demented. Should I suggest he see a head doctor?

Then he took her in his arms and hugged her tightly to him. In a voice so soft she hardly heard him, he whispered against her ear, “I think you’re pregnant. This is a test that will tell us for sure.”

“No!” she cried out, trying to struggle out of his embrace. “It is so cruel of you to tease me on that subject. How could you? How could you?” Madrene’s legs gave way, and her heart nigh burst with agony.

He still held her tightly, making soothing noises as he stroked her hair. “You’ve asked me to believe in miracles … time-travel, for God’s sake. Can’t you believe in miracles, too?”

“Do not do this to me. I beg you,” she cried.

“If time-travel could happen, maybe you’re not barren like you think, or at least not with me.”

She was sobbing loudly now. The pain was crushing her lungs. She could barely breathe.

Ian was no better.

He was taking a huge gamble. He could see how badly Maddie was taking his suggestion, but he had to go on. This might very well be a make-or-break point in their relationship. Hey, Lord, if You’re up there, I could use a little help. Please don’t let me have set her up for a crushing disappointment. “Where’s my brave girl who fights off Viking invaders, Arab sultans and Navy SEALs? She doesn’t even have the nerve to take a pregnancy test? I don’t think so!”

She pulled her head back to look at him. There was hope in her eyes. Glancing over at the pregnancy test, she asked, “What does it say?”

He let her go. Now he was the one losing his nerve. He picked it up, looked at it, then closed his eyes. Finally he turned around. With tears burning in his eyes, he held his arms open to her.

Then he smiled.