6. Gravod

Finally. She was here. Her sweet scent filled my lungs, and I could breathe again.

I was fighting so many instincts to keep myself standing on the other side of the bar from her. She would never know what it cost me. After the past few days apart, it felt wrong to wait another second to touch her. But courting would take time. I had to repeat that to myself, over and over.

Seeing her again now made the wait worth it. She wore a fitted gray skirt and silky white blouse, showing off the curves of her hips and breasts. Her legs were long and lean, and I wanted to peel that skirt off and worship everything underneath.

Scenting her, being this close to her… My skin felt tight. It was as if my true form writhed under the surface, trying to break free. Normally, I could stay shifted for years, blending in with species around me without a problem. I'd been holding this form with no effort for months. Now I had to consciously keep it.

I had to deny myself. I couldn't relax and let my ta'laps stretch out to her. Couldn't wrap around her wrists, her waist, her thighs. Pin her down. Show myself and complete the mating bond. Now.

Visions of taking her soothed my inner beast, but I knew that the reality would likely be far from satisfying, especially if I had to maintain this human form.

I'd shifted to my natural state in front of Jake once. His look of disgust was permanently seared in my mind. For the first time, I'd questioned whether we should have even come to this planet.

She wasn't a Lydaxian. She couldn't feel the same pull of the mate match. I had to tread carefully and hope that our scientists had been correct. That, with a few adjustments, we could successfully breed with a human. Even if it wasn't as pleasurable as it could be.

One thing was certain. She was mine. I would die if I couldn't have her.

And it seemed like her body knew I was hers. I could scent her arousal, just like before. This would work. It had to.

I cleared my throat.

"Hi. Jessica, right?"

She startled, and I noticed her eyes widen. The scientists had warned us that our mates might not be fooled by our camouflage. Could she sense my true form?

"Um, yes. But most people call me Jess. You probably got that from the card I left here, huh?"

"Jess..." I savored the name, letting it linger on my tongue. A thrill went through me when I noticed her shiver. "Yep. Figured you'd be back for it." I held up the card but didn't hand it to her. "Are you staying for a drink?"

If she said no...

But it wasn't Jess who replied, it was the woman sitting next to her.

"We sure are. I'd like a whiskey and water. Ooh, that one." She pointed to one of our nicer bottles.

I was glad my mate didn't go out to bars alone. It was safer. But I couldn't help my disappointment at having to share her attention. Hopefully my expression didn't show it.

"Good choice." I nodded and turned back to Jess. "And for you?"

"I liked what you made for me before. Scofflaw, right?"

"That's right."

I smiled and noticed her cheeks flush, saw her eyes skim over my body with appreciation. The scent of her arousal intensified, and I bit back a groan.

Her friend asked her a question, and I started making their drinks, listening.

"Oh my god, Jess! That's horrible. Do you think they'll keep him in the position?"

"Probably. He has connections, and the donors love him. It's so depressing. I don't know if I can keep working there if he becomes the permanent director."

"Shit. You should be in charge. Can you apply?"

"Maybe… Hey, let's talk about this place for a second."

They lowered their voices, but I could still hear them.

"It's amazing, right? They're all so hot."

I turned my face away to hide my smile.

"They are. Do you think it's a little strange?" Jess sounded nervous, and I frowned.

"I don't think they're demons, if that's what you mean." Her friend laughed.

Demons? Shit. Our horns, the color of our skin… How much could she see?

This was a complication.

But the larger implications barely registered. I didn't want to look like a demon to her. Those were creatures in horror stories. I wanted her to be as pleased with my body as I was with hers.

And my Jess had a beautiful body. I let my gaze linger for a moment on her full breasts. I couldn't wait to explore them. And her hips. They were just right for gripping as my lithis penetrated and prepared her.

I swallowed a growl.

Sex might involve compromises, yes. But I had to believe it would be mutually enjoyable.

I finished the drinks and set them out on the bar.

"Thanks," her friend said.

Jess didn't even look at hers. Her eyes were riveted to my face. I could have sworn she was staring at my horns. They were completely hidden in this form, so it shouldn't have been possible.

Unless she said something, I had to pretend there was nothing unusual going on. Small talk was the next step. I leaned my hands on the bar, trying to look casual, even though my body strummed with tension.

Before either of us could speak, Mathol came up to the bar on the other side of Jess's friend. He glanced at the women before smiling at me. The others had probably sent him to spy.

"Three more pints please, Captain."

"Captain?" Jess asked, looking at me.

Normally, I liked Mathol. That was probably why he was the only male who'd dare to approach me while I talked to my mate. But at that moment, I wanted to break his jaw for speaking so carelessly. Thankfully, he was quick witted.

"Oh, I just call him that. He reminds me of my dad."

Fucking bastard.Mathol was dead.

Jess's friend raised a brow. "Your dad was a captain?"

"That's right." He darted an apologetic look my way, then nodded to the two women. "I'm Mathol."

"I'm Annabelle. This is Jess."

He had to know I was a breath away from ripping his eyes out of their sockets for looking at my female. I glared at him, and he nervously focused his attention on Annabelle while I started pouring beers.

Hopefully, my anger wasn't obvious to Jess. As long as he didn't speak to her again, I could get myself under control.

"So, Mathol," Annabelle said. She sounded amused by his name, and I wondered if we should have chosen different ones. "Do most of the guys here know each other? Do you work together or something?"

Shit. I kept pouring, my body tense as I waited to hear what Mathol would say.

"Well…a lot of us grew up together. But I don't work with any of them, no. I'm a baker."

He'd been one of the preeminent chefs on Vytaris, but Mathol was always humble.

"Oh, where do you?—"

"Here. I'll put it on your tab." I shoved the drinks at him.

"Thanks." Mathol gave me another look of apology. Then he leaned toward Annabelle, effectively ignoring Jess. "So, what do you do?"

The two of them were soon chatting and laughing, leaving me to talk to Jess. I caught his eye and gave him a silent thanks.

But now Jess was studying me with a frown. She leaned forward, and I bent down to her level, our faces coming so close I could almost taste her scent.

Her breath fanned across my lips as she whispered. "You're all keeping secrets, aren't you?" She smiled, looking playful and sexy, and I fought the urge to let a ta'lap out right there. "I'm going to sit here until I figure out what you're hiding."

Fuck if I didn't want to show her. I didn't want any secrets between us. But I couldn't. Not yet.

"So, what do you do?" I cringed, hearing myself asking the same question Mathol had.

Jess just grinned. "I'm a librarian."

"Oh. Books." I closed my eyes at my own stupidity.

Fuck.

She…laughed. The sound went straight to my heart and made me want to puff out my chest in pride. I'd made her do that.

"Yes, books. Ephemera too. I'm an archivist at the main library in the city. I manage the historical collections." Jess took a drink, relaxing the more she talked.

"That sounds interesting. Tell me more about it." I was honestly curious, but I also just wanted to hear her voice and see her smile.

Her face brightened. "Okay, but let me know if I start to bore you."