29. Jess

Gravod spent the night at my place, arms and tentacles curled around me.

I thought maybe we were going to fool around after we collapsed onto my bed, but then I closed my eyes and promptly passed out. Maybe it was having him there, next to me? I slept like the dead. Not enough, though, after being out so late.

The smell of coffee and bacon got me out of bed after a few hours of sleep. I stumbled around and managed to shower and dress. Then Gravod fed me breakfast, silently laughing at my morning grogginess. Damn alien. It wasn't fair that he was so functional with so little rest. He poured coffee into my travel mug and drove me to work.

I'd tried insisting that I was fine to drive myself, but I gave up in the face of his obvious concern. Until he tracked down Thylor, Gravod was going to be my shadow. I couldn't find it in me to mind. Having him around definitely wasn't a burden. The guy could cook.

As we pulled up to the parking lot, I sighed heavily. I did not want to be at work. There was a very good chance that today the other shoe would drop and Kevin would do something to get back at me. From his perspective, I'd stolen his spotlight. It might get unpleasant. But that wasn't the main reason I wished I was home.

I had some big decisions to make.

Gravod came around and opened my door. "I'll be back at noon to take you to lunch." He helped me out, then leaned over and kissed me.

It would have been cute, my new boyfriend dropping me off and kissing me goodbye, but there was an undercurrent of tension.

So much to think about. I broke off the kiss sooner than I wanted to, giving him a small smile.

"See you then." I stepped back with one last pat on his chest and walked to the library entrance.

His car didn't pull away until after I was inside.

I headed straight to my office and closed the door. My butt hit the chair, and my forehead hit the desk.

"Not enough coffee in the world," I muttered into the wood. It was comfortable. Maybe I could just stay here with my head down all day.

I'd decided I was okay with dating an alien, horns and tentacles and everything, and it seemed like that should have been the hard part. But no. A shit-ton of complications had materialized.

Fuck. Did I even want kids? I groaned against the desk.

The crazy thing was, I kind of wanted his.

I'd almost begged him to bite me when we were in his room on the spaceship. What the fuck was that about? When he'd mentioned marking me before, I'd felt a little thrill mixed with fear. Puncture wounds were not really my kink. But last night I wanted to feel his teeth on my neck like I wanted air to breathe.

It was the conversation with the wolfman that really had me questioning.

I rocked my head from side to side on the desk. Wolf shifters, telling me how it is. Fuck my life.

The shifters had it all figured out, though. It sounded like they'd been living among us for a long time, maybe forever. But Gravod was new here. I wanted to let him convince me it would all be fine, but I knew better. So much could go wrong.

I groaned, loudly, hoping no one was in the hallway.

Because the really, really crazy thing was… I was thinking Thylor had the right idea. I'd seen Vytaris now, and Neptune. And a spaceship, for fuck's sake. Their technology was amazing. I was getting ideas about what was out there, what more I could see. Thinking that maybe instead of being Jessica the Librarian on Earth, I could be Jess the Intergalactic Space Explorer.

Gravod could take me with him to Vytaris. I would…kind of be okay with that.

Oh my god. Would I? Yes. No? Maybe.

Was I considering it for me, or for him? For our non-existent alien baby? I worried that I was rationalizing, that this was really about my own guilt. That I didn't think he should have to give up so much to be with me.

And if I did leave Earth, what about what I would have to give up? My friends, my career? Would it be better if Gravod went home but I stayed?

Shit.

There was a gentle knock at my door, so I didn't get another chance to groan. I sat up and rubbed my forehead, where there was probably a mark from having my face planted on the desk.

"Come in."

At least if it was Kevin, I'd have a distraction.

But it was Tony, one of the library techs, who stood in the doorway. He looked giddy.

"Did. You. Hear?"

"Um… No? Hear what?"

"Well, besides the email from Harriet, there are some wild rumors going around."

"What email?" I turned on my computer and logged in.

Tony sighed and waited while I found what he was talking about. My eyes widened as I read.

"Kevin's taking a leave of absence?" The email didn't have any details, just that he would be gone indefinitely and they were planning to name a replacement as soon as possible.

"That's the official line. But everyone's saying he had some kind of mental breakdown yesterday. He called a bunch of people, freaking out about monsters in his house. I think it's just an excuse to avoid coming in. He's pissed you're getting all the attention for the Wilson acquisition."

The back of my neck prickled. Monsters. Gravod being late to pick me up for dinner.

He never did tell me why he was so delayed.

"Huh." It was all I could say.

Tony nodded like it was plenty. "Yeah, right? Hopefully they'll name someone better to take his place. Crazy couple of weeks."

I nodded along with him. Very crazy.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. I spent most of it helping the techs sort through some of the remaining unopened boxes we'd received from Mr. Wilson. It was a monumental task, going through such a huge quantity of materials, and all available hands were needed.

I also really enjoyed it. For every illegible bit of scribble, there was something amazing, like a letter to another famous author, or pages of a rough draft for a book I recognized.

This was what I'd worked toward my entire career. The chance to be in charge of an archive like this. To not only touch the slips of paper and hold history in my hands, but to be the person trusted to do it right. The fact that Marybeth Wilson was one of my favorite authors made it so much more meaningful.

And with this acquisition under my belt, my future looked bright. Could I really give all that up to travel the universe? My first instinct was fuck yes. Historically significant paper was cool and all, but space? My parents were gone. I would miss my extended family, my friends. But come on. It was fucking real life sci-fi space travel.

Or maybe I wanted to stay. When I pictured leaving Earth behind permanently, the idea was kind of terrifying.

It seemed like only a few minutes had passed before Gravod was texting me from the parking lot. I'd been staring at the same piece of notepaper for who knew how long, my thoughts scattered.

Here. I'll be by the front entrance.

My eyes narrowed as I looked at my phone. Gravod had some explaining to do. That was something I could focus on.

I grabbed my bag and went outside, blinking in the bright sun after spending all morning in a windowless room. And then I saw him, leaning against a column a few feet away from the entrance. I had to hang on really tight to my annoyance, because damn. Damn.

He was in his human skin, I knew that. But when I looked at him, I saw him as he truly was. It had been like that for a while. The entire time if you counted that I had a sense of his actual appearance the first time I met him. It had evolved a little, and now I perceived the real Gravod like an aura over the fake one.

Those sharp features, his eyes. He was gorgeous. And he had to hide all of it if he stayed on Earth. Forever.

And so would our kids. Tears threatened, stinging the back of my eyes.

He noticed that I was having a small crisis.

"Hey, you okay?"

His movements were smooth and steady as he crossed to me and gripped me possessively around the waist. I looked into his green eyes and saw them shine silver.

"Yeah." I offered him a weak smile. "Let's go get some food."

He took feeding me seriously.

We drove to a sushi restaurant I liked, a short distance away. I waited until we were seated in a quiet corner to level him with my best inquisitor stare.

"So. Where were you when I was being kidnapped last night?"