7. Then Classroom Scene

It was approaching the dinner hour and my scenes were finished. I could've gone back to my hotel, but I stayed to watch the last shots of the day. I hadn't put on my clothes yet. I was only wearing my underwear beneath the thick blue robe I'd hidden inside between shots or when we'd had a break. I'd geared up so much psychic energy for what would be the Thin Kid origin scenes, I think I was empty, numb. Stripping down to the well-worn tighty-whities hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be. And at the same time, it was worse. But I wouldn't admit that to myself.

In an uncharacteristic break from the verisimilitude of the filmed story, Valentina had asked Cleo to act as the stand-in Thin Kid hiding from view inside the classroom's supply closet. To her credit, Valentina had observed that I was too keyed-up for even a subtle door creaking.

Valentina shouted her directions: simple, one-word commands. "Quiet. Rolling. Action." Using the handheld Steadicam instead of setting up a dolly track (Valentina's pragmatic decision; she wanted to get the shot now and not go into overtime, which would've meant, by observed union rules even if most of the crew weren't union, starting an hour later than scheduled tomorrow), Dan crept down the gullet of the classroom at an even pace. There wasn't any dialogue to fill the anticipatory silence, and I had the inexplicable urge to shout nonsense, to speak in film tongues because part of the story, a small part, but maybe the most important part, was being created without me. Then, Valentina again, her voice rising above us, "Now, Cleo," and the supply room's latch clicked, the door creaked open a few inches, and I strained to get a glimpse inside, afraid I might somehow see myself in there.

After the third take, Valentina said, "Cut, check the gate. And that's a wrap for today." She clapped her hands and the rest of the crew joined the applause briefly, as was our end-of-day tradition.

Cleo popped out of the closet, posing, flipping her red hair, smiling madly, waving hi, batting her eyes behind her glasses, and Dan pretended to film and shouted, "Work it!" earning appreciative laughter from the crew. As the small crew broke down and packed up, Cleo, now in her role of script supervisor, huddled with Dan, he now wearing his director of photography hat, as she jotted notes into a big green notebook.

I got dressed under the robe (a contortionist would've been impressed). Karson, the eponymous actor and lead makeup/effects artist, gathered the robe and hung it on the "rolling wardrobe rack from hell," which was what someone in the crew had christened it with a handwritten placard. I hadn't got a bead on Karson yet. He had gone to the same high school as Valentina and Cleo, but he was a few years older than them. He had earned a two-year associate's degree in radiology technology and prior to this film had worked as a stagehand for the Providence Performing Arts Center. It was never clear to me if Valentina, Cleo, and Karson had been close friends prior to the filming, though I assumed they had. Karson had one makeup/effects assistant or coworker named Mel, short for Melanie. She was his cousin and did makeup and hair for local weddings. Mel was loud and provided necessary laughter when the mood on-set became too serious, too grim, and she often shared non sequitur gossip about her extended family while working on the actors in her makeup chair. Between scenes, when Valentina and Cleo consulted the script and storyboards with Dan, Karson hung out with Mel. I assumed Valentina had told him he wasn't allowed to buddy around with me to keep me and my character isolated. Upon introductions on our first day on-set, Karson had said that he and I would get to know each other later in the shoot when I would be spending the morning hours sitting for makeup and prosthetics. The prosthetics had been news to me. However, when those mornings came, there wasn't any of the promised get-to-know-each-other banter. Without being able to look me in the eye, hiding his own behind his long, straight bangs, Karson apologized for what had happened the day before. I told him he didn't need to say he was sorry, that he wasn't his character, and then he apologized for what he was about to do to me. We enacted this routine often enough that it should've become a joke, our joke, but it never did. Karson remained sullen and serious, unsettled in my presence. I wondered if he was method acting, being the Karson from the script full-time. Why not, right? Maybe that was his choice. Maybe Valentina had given him a prescriptive directive on how he should play the character of himself. Maybe he was just being who Karson was. Maybe he wasn't acting, like how Cleo had joked she wasn't acting. They were using their real names as the characters' names because they were playing or displaying some real version of themselves, even if it was their worst version.

Valentina tugged my elbow and led me to a quiet corner of the classroom by the blackboard. She and I had decided we would meet at the end of each shooting day to discuss how things were going on my end and afterward she would formally present me with the next day's sides.

Valentina laughed and shook her head.

I said, "What," though I was nervously laughing too.

Her laugh became an all-knowing smirk. "Weird Guy is officially the Thin Kid now. I can and can't believe we're doing this."

I said, "It's all your fault. When does the German Expressionism come in?"

"You haven't figured out that you're Cesare yet?"

I blinked and gawped until I figured out she was referring to a character from the film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. "Oh, right. Does that make you Dr. Caligari, then?"

"I thought you wouldn't remember that movie, and I was gonna punch you. You were great today. Really."

"I took off my clothes and put on a mask. No big deal."

"Stop it and just take the compliment."

"Okay, I will. Thank you. It did, um, feel pretty good. Maybe I can do this."

"This was a big day. Remember it. Remember it so tomorrow or the next day or next week you can remind yourself that you can do this. Because the rest of the days are going to get harder, and probably won't be as much fun."

"Being masked and almost naked isn't exactly my idea of fun." Valentina arched an eyebrow. I blushed and hurriedly added, "I'm sure everyone else feels the same way looking at me."

She ignored the self-deprecation and said that I had tomorrow and possibly the next day off, as they would be shooting scenes with the other teens at their homes. I asked if I could watch and she said, of course, and told me to check in with Karson to get the schedule and location maps. She also said that she wouldn't give me more script pages until either tomorrow night or the night after. She didn't want me dwelling on my next scenes over multiple days. She wanted to keep the rhythm of sides coming the night before.

By this time Cleo had finished reviewing scenes with Dan and stood next to Valentina and said, "Sorry to interrupt, but Dan again pressed us to consider shooting all the schoolroom scenes in a row so we wouldn't have to break down and re–set up."

"And you said no, right?"

"Yes."

Cleo and I shared quick hey there head nods and then complimented each other's performances.

I said, "Hey, while I have you both. I am a little confused by today's scene. It wasn't what I imagined when you said I'd be wearing a mask for a horror movie. Aren't I the bad guy in this movie? I thought I would be."

Valentina smirked and said, "Maybe."

Cleo said, "We're all someone's bad guy eventually."

Valentina said, "You're so deep, Cleo," which set off a brief staccato back-and-forth between the two of them.

"Like a river."

"Or a lake."

"No, a river."

"Most rivers are shallow."

"Not all."

"Why not an ocean?"

"Too deep."

"How about a fjord?"

I didn't exactly interrupt, but if I hadn't said something they might've continued that way all night. I said, "Hey, um, this just occurred to me. Do you think I can stay here, in the classroom, overnight? I have no idea what happens next in the script or anything, but I'm guessing they left the Thin Kid here in the school." I paused, waiting for one of them to say something. Neither did. "Anyway, yeah, just to get more ‘in character' like you want, maybe I should stay here, even for just a few hours with no one else around, so I can get in that mind space. I can lock up when I leave. No big deal." The school's entrances and classroom doors were chain padlocked.

Valentina and Cleo looked at each other before responding.

Valentina said, "You don't have to do that. We know you're working hard."

Cleo said, "I don't think it's a good idea." She looked around the room, as though afraid we were being overheard.

I rambled about how if I stayed, even just for a few hours, I might dissuade local kids from breaking in, because they'd see my car parked outside and maybe a light on up here.

Valentina said, "There'll be no light. We can't afford to keep the generator running all night."

"Right. I meant a flashlight anyway."

Cleo said, "Won't you be scared staying here by yourself? I'd be terrified. No way."

"Says the one who broke in here and found a mask, right?"

"Exactly!" Cleo shouted and spread her arms.

"Oh, believe me," I said, "I'll leave when I get too freaked out, probably after ten minutes. Look, I think I need to do this, to try this. Really."

Valentina shrugged and said, "Fine by me. Cesare wants to spend some time in his cabinet."

"Who's Cesare?" Cleo asked, which set off another rapid-fire two-woman skit.

"Dude, watch some movies."

"I watch a shit ton of movies."

"Watch some old movies."

"I watch old movies."

"'70s flicks don't count as old movies."

"Yes, they do."

"Watch black-and-white movies."

"I do! Young Frankenstein."

"That doesn't count."

"Psycho, Night of the Living Dead, Creature from the Black Lagoon..." Cleo continued listing films as they walked away, leaving me standing alone by the blackboard.