Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Brook

Icursed myself for letting my anger get the better of me tonight. I’d probably screwed up a good thing with Hornet. I really liked him, and it was a shame I let my past trauma overshadow my good judgement. Finding out that Hornet had pulled a second background check to make sure I hadn’t done anything illegal since I started working for him really triggered me. All the shame and humiliation of my ex checking up on me came flooding back in a massive wave.

Tate used to call my friends, stop by my place of employment, and secretly follow me to the grocery store because he always thought I was sneaking off to meet another man. He never trusted me, and it really affected me deep down. Not only did it keep me stressed out, it made me feel like there was something intrinsically wrong with me as a person.

His persistent distrust and suspiciousness made me wonder if I was, unbeknownst to me, giving off some kind of cheater vibes. I remembered intentionally dressing more conservatively to combat any perception that I was trying to send hidden messages through my choice of dress or face-to-face interactions.

All that along with being physically abused had done a real head job on me. I had been so busy just trying to survive that I hadn’t realized until this very moment how much it had impacted my life. I made a mental note to try to link with a counselor as soon as possible, now I was earning decent money it was time to get my life on track.

Though it wasn’t only the background check that had upset me. It was the whole situation between us. I knew I was an adult and had slept with Hornet with the full knowledge that it was a one-time thing. But in the cold light of afterwards I realized I wasn’t a one-night stand kind of woman. I could really see me and Hornet having a future. Then when he’d started talking about there being an us, it seemed to set off something in my mind.

I sighed, as I pulled up to an all-night grocery store. If there was one thing guaranteed to soothe a troubled mind, it was a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a family-sized bag of Doritos. After making my purchases and getting back into the car I drove back along the highway to Hornet’s house.

***

I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice the bright lights at first. There was a vehicle behind me that seemed to be driving erratically, I peered in the rearview mirror to see the huge pickup truck gaining speed as it drew closer. I tried to get away, but it matched my speed and suddenly, before I knew what was happening it swerved towards me, slamming into the passenger side and running me off the road and right into a telephone pole. In the blink of an eye my world came to an abrupt halt.

I woke up with my head on the steering when, unsure what was going on. My first thought was that I had gotten into the car, taken a minute to rest my eyes, and had nodded off. Back when I was working two and three jobs, sometimes I’d be too exhausted to drive home without a little nap.

Then I heard the sound of a distant horn blaring. As I tried to shake off the fog in my head, I realized the horn was mine. My windshield wipers were swiping back and forth like crazy. What the hell was going on?

I tried to move my left arm, but when nothing happened, I started to panic. Using my right hand, I tried to open my door, but it was jammed tight.

I turned as best I could and slid my right hand over to the lever that reclined my seat. It was the only way to get my shoulder free and try and release my seatbelt. The moment I pulled the lever and the seat moved back, a searing pain caused my vision to dim.

Blood gushed from the wound in my shoulder, and I pressed my hand against it to try to stop the flow.

I heard a voice in the distance, but before I could see who or what smashed my window, my world went dark.

I came to in a panic, but a large hand pressed me back against the seat. I had to get away. Only the hand holding me down wouldn’t allow it.

When my eyes focused, I saw that it was Hornet.

He looked terrified leaning over me from the passenger side of my car. “Hey there, kitten. It’s nice to see your pretty green eyes. Everything’s going to be okay. I packed your shoulder with gauze from my first aid kit. It should keep you from bleeding out on the way to the hospital. But you’ve got to stay still, the EMTs have to put a C-spine collar on you to keep your neck immobile. Don’t worry, they’re pulling up now.”

“Something happened. It was a truck. It slammed into my car and ran me off the road. I think I hit a tree or telephone pole.”

“It was a telephone pole,” Hornet replied.

“Why do I feel so awful? Like I’m going to faint.”

“You lost a lot of blood before I got to you, and I’m worried you might have hit your head.” The tone of his voice said I would have bled out if he hadn’t shown up.

“Can’t I get out the same way you got in?” The whispery quality of my voice scared me. I could tell by the look on Hornet’s face that it scared him too.

“Soon, kitten. They’ll get your neck stabilized and get you out.”

He gently stroked my face as he left the car and an EMT took his place. Very carefully after fitting a collar, they got me out of the car and laid me on a backboard. I closed my eyes, I felt woozy, and the world was spinning.

Hornet’s hand cupped my face. “Try to stay awake for me, Brook. You probably have a concussion.”

I gazed up at his worried face. “I guess you’re gonna need to find a new nanny. Looks like I’ll be out of commission for a while.”

His head came down until we were cheek to cheek, and he whispered, “Don’t worry about anything but getting well. I’m not leaving your side. You’ll always have a home with me if you want it.”

I felt myself tearing up. Whether it was from pain or his tender words, I couldn’t tell. When his lips brushed against my cheek before pulling back, I nearly lost it. I was saved by the medics and Hornet slowly maneuvering me onto a gurney and into an ambulance.

What happened after that was kind of a blur, I had an IV cannula in my hand and tubes running to God knows where. All I really remember was Hornet’s steady voice talking to me and one of the paramedics telling me they were going to give me something to help with the pain. Hornet held my hand, never letting it go even once. As long as he was with me, I was safe. That thought kept running through my mind in an infinite loop as the sound of the siren faded into the background, and the meds lulled me into a state of calm, until I didn’t care anymore as I floated on a cloud.

***

I must have been drifting in and out because suddenly I opened my eyes and saw only white surrounding me on all sides. I couldn’t move my body and I tried to lift my head, but it was pinned down. Was I dead? Was this heaven? I started to hyperventilate as the panic set in.

A crisp feminine voice said, “It’s okay, try and keep still, we’re just doing a CT scan to rule out any spinal injury. Once you’ve been cleared, the doctors can take off your collar.”

As I calmed down, the memories of my accident came flooding back. I didn’t know if they were looking only for fractures or if the scan could show any organ damage. Whatever it was for, I stayed still because I didn’t want to have to do it twice.

Once the scan was done, a process that felt like hours, I was transferred back to a hospital bed. The minute they wheeled me out, I saw Hornet waiting for me in the corridor. I instinctively reached for him, and he rushed over to hold my hand.

“How are you feeling? Are you comfortable?”

“I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts. I feel like I’m trapped in a fog.”

“That’s probably the meds,” he responded.

“Did they fix my shoulder?”

“They cleaned it and bandaged it back up. You’ve only been here a couple of hours and they wanted to do some scans and run some bloodwork before they take you in for surgery. It won’t be long though.”

I nodded, feeling no pain at the moment. “Thank you for being here with me.”

“Oh, I’m not leaving you, kitten,” he teased with a tense grin.

The younger man maneuvering my bed chuckled. “You have the same conversation every time she wakes up.”

Hornet’s head slowly lifted to pin him with a stern look. “She didn’t need to know that. It just gives her another thing to worry about.”

The transport tech quickly apologized and then snapped his mouth shut.

Hornet was right. I was worried that I’d woken up several times over the last couple of hours and didn’t even remember it. I tried to take some deep breaths to get oxygen to my brain. Maybe that would help.

Back in the ER bay, Hornet pulled up a chair and sat at my bedside so he could hold my hand some more.

“Just so you know, the doctors have said it’s perfectly normal if you don’t remember the accident, or if things are a bit sketchy. You’ve got a concussion and you’re doped up to the eyeballs on painkillers.”

“That’s a relief. I don’t want to end up like an elderly person with dementia who can’t remember their own name.”

“I can’t see that happening.” He gave my hand a squeeze. “On the upside, this is the longest you’ve been able to stay awake since we got here.”

I relaxed a little, hoping the worst was behind me. “You don’t have to stay. I’m sure I’ll be alright. You need to get home to Ariel.”

“She’s with my parents. I’m not fucking going anywhere. How could you think for a second, I’d leave you alone in the emergency room?”

“I’m just used to being independent, I guess.”

“I’m sure you’d be just fine. Maybe I need to stay for my own peace of mind. I want to make sure you’re well cared for while you’re vulnerable.”

Fighting back tears, I told him, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time.”

“I’m happy to be here with you. Now, is there anyone you want me to call on your behalf? I didn’t think to get your cell phone, but if you want to use mine to call your mom, I’ll gladly give it to you.”

I shook my head. “She’s only allowed to see me when my brothers are in school, and God knows her husband doesn’t care what happens to me.”

“What about your brothers? How old are they? Do you want me to contact them?”

“No, they’re only little kids.”

“I’m trying not to hate that father of yours. I gotta say, I’m failing miserably at it. You don’t need a biological link to love a child, look at me and Ariel.”

I gave him a tired smile. “He’s not my father, he made that very clear. It helps that someone can feel anger on my behalf. All I’ve ever felt was sadness and grief. I’ve just learned to live with it.” I pulled his hand up to rub against my cheek. “Let’s talk about something nice, like Ariel. How’s she doing? I guess she doesn’t miss me at her, age but I sure miss her.”

He smiled gently. “Kitten, we’ve only been gone a few hours not days. My mom said she’s been a little fussy this evening, so maybe she does miss you.”

“She’ll be two months old in a week. We should take her picture in a pretty outfit to remember the day.”

“That’s a really good idea. I’ll let you pick the outfit. She always looks extra cute when you dress her.”

“I can’t wait for her to have proper hair instead of wispy baby fluff. I plan to brush it every morning and she can have cute hair bows.”

“That sounds ten kinds of adorable.”

“I hope I’m well enough to brush her hair when the time comes. You know I can’t feel most of the left side of my body from the hip up, right?”

“What the fuck? Of course I didn’t know that. Hang on. Let me go out and talk to your nurse.”

Hornet raced out of the room, and I was left with nothing but my own thoughts. If I were being honest, I was starting to feel more like Ariel’s mother than her nanny. Although I knew that was messed up on a lot of levels, caring for a newborn tugged at my mothering instincts. Nothing made me happier than spending time with her. It felt like having a peek into the life I could have had if I hadn’t wasted years on an asshole.

I could hear Hornet before I saw him. “I don’t know why she has no feeling on her left side. I’m not the doctor, you are.”

“I’ll have a look at her, and we’ll get this figured out.”

“Didn’t you see that on the scan?” Hornet asked, his voice filled with concern.

“First things first, Mr. Davis, the scan was primarily to check for spinal fractures and major abdominal trauma.”

“I don’t understand the point of doing a bunch of tests and blood work if it doesn’t alert you that she has a serious medical condition.”

“Mr. Davis, I understand you’re upset, as a man with prior military experience I’m sure you understand about triage. We treat the life-threatening injuries first, then once the patient is stabilized, we can assess them further.”

“Okay, doc.”

“I understand you’re having some numbness on your left side,” the doctor said when he stopped by my bedside.

“Yes. I can’t feel my arm or my left side at all from the waist up. Do you think that’s normal after a car accident?”

“The CT scan ruled out any spinal fractures, but with an accident like this there’s always a lot of swelling which could be putting pressure on a nerve.” He turned to Hornet and asked, “Can I get you to step out of the cubicle while I perform the examination?”

I could already see that that request was going to be a problem for Hornet because he didn’t agree right away. He was acting reluctant and worried.

“I’ll be fine. Just let the doctor do his thing. I want to get the exam over with and find out what’s going on.”

He nodded, “Fine, but if you need anything just speak up. I’ll be right outside.”

When he stepped out and the nurse who would be assisting arrived, the doctor pulled the curtain around. “Your husband is a little on the protective side.”

Instead of getting into the fact that he wasn’t my husband, I just said, “He’s a good man. I appreciate him being here for me tonight.”

The nurse smiled at me kindly, as she checked the bleeping machines.

“Okay. Well, let’s get your hospital gown pulled open on the side so I can see what’s going on.” He peeked under the edge of the bandage and asked, “Can you feel that?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

He poked harder. “How about now?”

“It’s strange. I can feel movement but not skin sensation.”

After repeating this exercise a couple of dozen times and getting me to wiggle my fingers and make a fist, he helped me close my gown. “As I said earlier, you’ve got a lot of swelling and soft tissue damage which could be putting pressure on one of the nerves. We’ll know more once I’ve repaired your shoulder.”

“I’m not going to lose the use of my arm or anything, am I?”

The older man frowned. “You can move your fingers so that’s a promising sign, but at the moment we just need to focus on what needs to be done right now. I’m going to get them to prepare you for surgery, I’m handling the orthopedic side of things, and my colleague will deal with any neurological issues that arise. You’re in good hands.”

When he left, there was another discussion outside my cubicle between the doctor and Hornet, only this one was much quieter. If Hornet was worried, I was too.