Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Brook

Ipaced back and forth with my cell phone held to my ear. Chewing one thumbnail as I waited for my mom to answer, I prayed that my father had calmed down. At only eighteen-years-old I was about to be truly homeless.

When she answered, my mom’s voice was a hushed whisper. “Hello, baby. Where are you?”

“I’m at a gas station on the outskirts of town. It’s been a week. Tell me he’s changed his mind.”

“I can’t speak for your dad, Brook. Finding out that you weren’t his was a shock. It’s taken a toll on him.”

“I had to sleep in my car again. It’s scary. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do between now and when college starts in two months.”

My mother made a sobbing sound and then it sounded muffled, like her hand was covering the phone. “Herb, you need to talk to her. I can’t do this to my own child.”

He responded, but I couldn’t make out what he’d said.

My mother raised her voice. “You want to break her heart, you do it yourself.”

The man I’d thought was my father until one week ago said, “Look, Brook, I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want to come home,” I pleaded.

“My home is for my family.”

“I know Mom messed up, but you’re the only father I’ve ever known.”

“You’re damn right, she messed up. Cheating on me and then passing off another man’s child as mine was a shitty thing to do. I haven’t forgiven her for that, and I probably never will, but she’s mine and you’re not, and I don’t want a reminder of what she did staring me in the face every day.”

I could hear my mom sobbing in the background trying to calm him down. “I didn’t choose to be born. I wish she hadn’t done that to you.”

“Yeah, well, she did. She might have tricked me into working my ass off to raise some else’s kid all these years, but my eyes are wide open now.”

I was panicking on the inside. “Please, can’t I come home? I can stay downstairs. You won’t even know I’m there.”

“No. You need to look for your real dad. I’ve taken care of what was his responsibility for far too long. It’s about time he stepped up.”

“You know I don’t know who it is. Mom won’t say. She’s afraid you’ll go after him.”

His voice took on a dark and dangerous undertone. “She should be. I would be hard pressed to choose between beating the shit out of him or suing him for all the money I spent raising his kid.”

“I know you’re angry. I would be too, but you’re making me homeless.”

“Think of it as me providing you a home for eighteen years when it was never my responsibility in the first place.”

“I’ve got no job, no money, and nowhere else to go. I’ve had to sleep in my car for the past week.” I had a sudden awful thought. “That’s assuming you allow me to keep it.”

“Yeah, you can keep the damn car.”

“I guess it’ll have to be my home until college starts and I can stay at the dorm.”

“About college. You need to apply for financial aid. I’m not going to be paying money for college that could go to my boys.”

I fell back against my car in shock. “You’re refusing to give me my college fund?”

“Do you have any idea how hard I worked for that money? I busted my ass trying to be a good provider for my family, while all these years your mother was lying her ass off to me.”

“How could you do this to me? I was your princess. You used to say so yourself. Now, you’re throwing me out on the streets. I don’t even have enough money to eat. Why should I have to suffer because mom lied to us both?”

“I don’t hate you, Brook. I remember all the good times when you were my little girl, but now we both know it was all lies. I’m going to let you keep the car and I’ll put a couple of grand into your bank account, but you’ll probably have to put off college. And get a job to support yourself because I’m not going to do it anymore.”

“Can I still come and visit my mom and brothers?” I felt certain he wouldn’t forbid me from ever coming back home.

“No. Not anytime soon. If your mother wants to see you, she can meet you outside the home. The boys are too young to know what’s happening. I don’t want them getting dragged into this mess.”

Tears tracked down my face as I listened to his cold-hearted words. “So, just like that, you don’t love me anymore and I’m no longer your daughter.”

“I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t seriously conflicted, Brook. Right now, the pain is still too raw. You’re a reminder that my wife’s a cheater. I’m sorry, but I can’t look at you right now.”

His voice sounded more dispirited than ever when he said, “Look, I’m putting your mother back on the phone. I’m not doing this to hurt you. It’s what I need for my family to survive right now and the only way that can happen, is if I’m not reminded that she cheated.”

“But if you love my mom, then I’m part of her,” my voice cracked as I desperately tried to reason with him.

There was silence and a moment later, my mother’s voice came onto the line. “That didn’t go how I thought it would. I’d hoped hearing your voice would make him remember how much he cares for you. I thought it would give you chance.”

The pain building in my chest was unrelenting. I choked out, “He said I’m not his daughter anymore.”

“Yeah, I heard, Brook, sweetheart. I’m so sorry you’re paying for the mistake I made all those years ago when I was young and stupid.”

I wasn’t buying that. This was a mistake she made years ago and then woke up every day and kept the lie going for over eighteen years. She said she honestly didn’t know, but who could I believe when my world was tearing apart.

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You’re still in shock, we’re all in shock. The only thing you can do is what he said. You postpone college, find yourself a job, and I’ll help you look for an apartment. We give him time to get over this. I love you, baby. We’ll get through this.”

That’s when it hit me. “You’re staying with him, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. What choice do I have? I’ve never had a job, can’t even imagine how I’d take care of your brothers, even with court-ordered child support—how could I find a job with a seven-year-old and a four-year-old to care for. Just like you, I have to be realistic about what my options are. Plus, I love Herb. I believe he will eventually move past this, and we can be a family again.”

A family without me…

I pinched the bridge of my nose, realizing that although my mom was doing the best she could, she was powerless to do much, because she had my younger brothers to worry about.

I took a deep breath and tried to pull my scattered thoughts together. “Okay, I understand what you’re saying. I need to figure out how to get myself spinning in the right direction. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Don’t lose hope, Brook. This situation will work itself out. I promise.”

The moment I hung up, my phone rang again. It was my friend Taylor.

“Hey, I’m having a party at my house since my parents are out of town. Can you come?”

“Yeah, but I need to shower. I’ve been hiking all day.”

“Cool. Come early and help me get ready if you want.”

“I’ll head your way now,” I said brightly, then hung up.

I pressed my phone against my head in frustration. I just lied to one of my best friends to keep from admitting that I was now homeless. Couch surfing and borrowing other people’s showers was the best I could do until I found a job that might come close to being self-supporting.

I checked my account balance to see my former father had kept his word about depositing two thousand dollars into my account. I had a trunk full of clothing and personal effects. A laptop that I might be able to pawn if times got tough, but that was about it.

I had gone from being a bright-eyed, innocent college student to being on the fast track to nowhere in a matter of days, all through no fault of my own. This was sure to be the first of many times when life would step in to teach me a hardcore lesson when I least expected it.