13. Emma

Chapter 13

Emma

M addox keeps calling me. My phone has been ringing off the hook. I finally put it on silent, but I still see the notifications of the calls and texts that keep coming in.

I tell myself to ignore them, but eventually I know that I can't do that. I pick it up and start reading through all of the texts. When I get to the last one, it says, "I need to see you. I'm here, and I'm waiting."

I'm surprised when I see the address on the phone, because it's an address that is only five minutes from campus. I pace the floor of my dorm room. My roommate's not here so I can talk it out with her. I could call my mom, but I don't. I’m going to go with my gut. It may not end well, but at least it won’t be because I didn’t try.

Finally, I grab the keys to my car and head out. If nothing else, I need to give Maddox a piece of my mind. I'm tired of being played by him. I drive the short distance to the hotel, read my text again and find the room number before getting on the elevator and punching the number for the fourth floor.

I follow the directions to the room, take a deep breath and let it out before knocking softly. I barely finish knocking, and the door swings open.

Maddox stares at me. I point into the hotel room. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to stay here until I can find an apartment nearby."

"What?" I ask him in confusion.

He stands back. "Come in. It's about time we talk, don't you think?"

Reluctantly, I walk into the hotel room. I sit down at the desk and lay my purse on the top of it. "Okay, I'm here. Let's talk. Why don't you start by telling me what you're really doing here. Why are you looking for an apartment here? You have a house in Heartlands territory."

"I want to be close to you.”

I throw my hands up. "Why?" You couldn't get away from me fast enough last night."

He walks over toward me, but he doesn't touch me. He squats down on his legs and looks at me in the face. "I may have left last night, but it was the last thing that I wanted to do. I promised your dad that I would keep my hands off you until you graduated. I didn't want to stand in your way of your dreams, and I promised him that I wouldn't either."

She rears back and shakes her head. "Do what? He told you to stay away from me?"

He shrugs. “He just didn’t want me to mess up your future. I don't want you to ever doubt that I want you, Emma. Look, I haven't even looked at another woman since that day that we kissed after your high school graduation. You're the one that I want to be with, and it killed me when I left last night, but I had to. But then when you left this morning, I knew I couldn't stay away from you anymore. I can’t please everyone else and do what they think is right and hurt you in the process. It kills me that I’ve hurt you twice. I love you, Emma."

I look at him skeptically. I want to believe him but a part of me is afraid of being hurt again.

"It's true," He says. "Our first kiss, I walked away because you were about to leave. All I could think about was putting my ring on your finger and keeping you with me. I knew that I wouldn't do you right. I had to let you live the life that you wanted."

I shake my head in disbelief. I start to speak but he stops me. “Let me get this all out. I know I’ve fucked up. I should have followed behind you when you left that first summer. I should have done whatever I had to do to keep you. But there was a part of me that thought I wasn’t good for you.”

I gasp and put my hands on his shoulders. “Fuck! If your mom was here, I’d have a few choice words for her right now. You’re crazy if you think you’re not good enough for me. Damn, Mad, you’re one of the best men I know. The way you’re always helping people, the way you take care of members of the club, the way you make me feel. I love you, Mad and I have for a long time."

He pulls me into his arms and stands up with me, holding me against him. “Fuck, I love you. I promise for now on, it’s me and you, Emma. You’re the one that I will always do right by and I promise I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll always help you reach for your dreams. I want them all to come true.”

I pull back and look at him sadly. “Mad, I feel like these last few years are wasted. We could have still been together even with me in college. I could still follow my dreams, especially if you're part of them, Maddox."

He kisses me fiercely and this time he’s not holding anything back. We’ve fucked everything up. He’s shouldering the blame but I’m partly to blame as well. I should have fought for us. I shouldn’t have given up on him and I’m thinking if I’d known about his past, maybe I wouldn’t have. He lifts me up and my legs go around his waist. Our lips are molded to each others, neither one of us wanting to let go.

He cups my ass and sits down on the edge of the bed with me in his lap. I pull back, breathless. “Never again, Mad. I need you to promise me that you’ll never walk away from me again.”

He searches my face and I know he sees the damage there. I’m insecure in his love for me and he looks pitiful as he sees it reflected back at him.. “I promise you that I’ll never walk away again. I love you, Emma. I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much if you’ll just let me.”

I know I need to forgive old hurts and we need to get past it. With a plan in place, I have to pry myself out of his arms. He doesn’t want to let me go and he keeps a hold of my hands as I stand up.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, worriedly.

He won’t release my hands and I try to look at him with reassurance. “Let me go, please.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t.”

I smile at him. “Just for a minute. Trust me, Mad.”

He takes a deep breath and releases his firm hold on me. With nervous fingers, I grab the hem of my t-shirt and pull it over my head. I look at Maddox while I undo my shorts and then peel them down my legs. Once I’m in my underwear and bra, I stand up and put my hands on my hips. I’m trembling and nervous, a part of me afraid that he may reject me again.

But I shouldn’t be.

He’s looking at me as if he can barely restrain himself from touching me. His eyes darken and are piercing into me, sweeping up and down my body like a caress. My voice is shaky but I manage to get the words out. “You want me, Mad? Prove it.”