3. Emma

Chapter 3

Emma

Present Day

I take the necklace off and stare at the crown charm. I rub my finger across it and get lost in the memory of that day I’ve tried to put out of my head for three years. I can’t stop thinking about it though and even now it causes my heart to race.

If the fact he pushed me away wasn’t enough, the fact that he avoided me the whole summer finally got the point across. He’s not interested in me. Yea, it took me a while to finally get it but it finally clicked when he would literally ignore me any time I was near. I knew my mom and Bull thought something was up, but neither one of them questioned me about it, thank God. I’m sure if they had then, I would have burst into tears because of the unrequited love.

Since the day I left for college, I’ve avoided the Ride or Die bar, the Heartlands Garage and any type of party or club get together because I knew I needed to keep my distance from Maddox. In the beginning, I did it because I didn’t trust myself. I could totally see myself throwing myself at him and begging him to love me. Now, I do it as self preservation. I don’t want to see him with another woman. I definitely don’t want to actually look at him and him see in my eyes that I’m still crazy in love with him.

But it looks like today is my last day of hiding. I’m going home for spring break and my mom has said the club is having me a welcome home party. She doesn’t want to hear any excuses. She’s guilting me, letting me know that my “family” loves me and I’ve not come to see them in forever. Which is a lie. I see her and Bull all the time, but I know what she means. The Heartlands are a tight knit group and I’ve probably offended some of them with my avoidance. I tried to put it off. I had told her in two months, I’d be home for good but she wasn’t having it. The party is tonight.

I had taken college classes in high school and I’ve been able to shorten the length it took me to complete my bachelor degree. Her and Bull are so proud of me for focusing and putting in the work. They act as if I’ve sacrificed a lot to get where I am but the truth is, I didn’t enjoy college life. I avoided dating because I had no interest in it. I wasn’t here to party or have a good time. I wanted to get my degree and be done. I wanted to be home so working hard to get their sooner was no skin off my back.

I take a deep breath and drop the necklace into my jewelry box. I wear my necklace all the time here, but I definitely don’t want Maddox to see me with it. For the sake of my pride, I need for him to think I’m over him.

There’s a knock on my door and I’m ready for a distraction. I walk across the small room and swing it open, leaning on it. “Hey Carson, what’s up? Candace left about an hour ago.”

His shoulders drop. “Oh.”

I shake my head and stand back, waving my arm for him to come in. A part of me feels bad for Carson. He’s been in love with Candace since our freshman year but so far she’s shown no interest in him. “Come on in. I’m getting ready to leave but I have some time.”

I’m not lying. I have plenty of time before I have to leave to make the party but the truth is, I’m procrastinating. Will Maddox be there tonight ? The thought hits me and I literally shake my head to make the idea of it go away. It doesn’t matter, Emma. He doesn’t want you.

I swallow down the bile suddenly rising in my throat as Carson throws himself across Candace’s bed. I sit in the chair at my desk and look at him, determined to get my mind off Maddox. “What’s wrong?”

He throws his head back on the pillow and sighs loudly. “Nothing.”

I laugh because this isn’t like Carson. He’s a jock and there’s never any drama with him. We’ve become friends these last three years. Mostly because I feel bad for him and how Candace doesn’t give him the time of day. I kick the edge of the bed. “Whatever. What’s wrong?”

He raises up on his arm, hugs Candace’s pillow to his chest and looks me right in the eye. “I’m stupid, is what’s wrong. There’s ten girls in this dorm that would love to go out with me but I’m too caught up on the one that wants nothing to do with me.”

I shake my head as I try to find the words to comfort him. The truth is, him and I are alike in this instance and I know exactly how he feels. I clear my throat. “I thought you and some of the guys were going to the beach for spring break.”

He shakes his head. “Nope, they all changed their minds. Well, honestly, I think their parents wanted them home but the point is that they all backed out.”

I sit up in my chair. Shit. I know Carson doesn’t have the best home life and he was looking forward to this trip. “So, what? You going home then?”

He swings his feet off the bed, still holding Candace’s pillow. “Nope. I’m going to hang here.”

I search his face. “Carson...”

He stands up and throws the pillow onto the bed before he paces back and forth. It’s only a few feet he can pace, but obviously he needs to move. “No, it’s fine. Trust me it will be better staying here instead of going home.”

Watching him, knowing some of the pain he’s going through, and idea hits me. I don’t give myself time to think about it before I tell him. “I have an idea.”

He stops pacing and puts his hands on his hips. “What’s the idea?”

I put my elbows on my knees and lean forward as he sits back down on the bed. “You can come home with me.”

I wait for him to respond. If there was any inkling that Candace was into him, I wouldn’t ask, but lately it seems like she barely tolerates him. When Carson scrunches up his nose, I grab a pillow off the end of my bed and throw it at him. “Look, it’s a good idea. You don’t want to sit here all week. Plus, you’d be helping me.”

He’s shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

I jump up, excited now. “Listen, Carson, it’s a great idea. Plus, you’d be helping me out.”

That seems to pique his interest. “How would me going home with you help you out?”

I shrug, not wanting to confess to all of it. “There’s a boy... I made a fool of myself. I need for him to think I’m over him.”

He looks at me with understanding. “Yea, I get that but I still don’t know... what will your parents think?”

In the last three years, he’s never met mom and Bull but I know they’ll like him and will love that I brought a friend home. “My parents are so happy I’m coming home, they’ll love that I’m bringing a friend. Plus, I don’t live that far away. If you change your mind, you can always come back.”

He’s silent as he weighs the idea around in his head. Finally, he nods his head. “Sure, I’ll go.”

I jump up excited. I should probably feel bad for using Carson as a buffer but I don’t. I was honest with him. Plus, he’d be so bored here all week by himself.

I grab my phone off the table and text my mom that I’m leaving soon and I’m bringing my friend, Carson home. Before she can text me back, I send another one. “Please tell Bull to be nice to him.”