3. Gage

Chapter 3

Gage

I t’s too early in the afternoon to start drinking, but I start heading my way to the Ride or Die anyway. I want to check in on Roxy. She wasn’t quite herself last night. Hell, she hasn’t been herself in a while. I know something’s up and I’ve tried to get it out of her, but she’s not talking. I’m hoping that if I talk to her she’ll fess up whatever shitload of trouble she’s landed herself in so I can pull her out of it. She’s always had it so together, but lately, I can tell there’s something off. Every time I catch her looking at me, I can tell there’s a story there. I pick up speed down the highway. I know she won’t like me badgering her or even offering to help her. I can always use the excuse I’m there to see Troy. I’m sure he’s already in his office. Ever since the fight with the Outlaws he’s been even more intense than usual, just like the rest of us. But he’s the president of the club and I know he feels like it all rests on his shoulders.

I’m surprised when I pull into the lot that Roxy’s bike is not in its usual spot. I was sure that she would be working today. Walking into the empty bar, I find Cat in the back doing what looks like inventory. When she turns to me, her hair is going every which way, and her lips are swollen. Looking around the room, I see Saint standing in the corner with his arms crossed on his chest. I should have known he would be here. Ever since Cat found out she was pregnant, Saint barely leaves her side. He’s leaning against the wall staring daggers at me, letting me know that I just interrupted him.

I give him a smirk and shrug my shoulders before asking Cat, “Where’s Roxy? I thought she was opening tonight?”

Cat tries to smooth her hair with her hand and her cheeks are flushed as she talks to me. “Uh, she had to go in and see a doctor so I’m covering her shift for her.”

My hands go to my hips. “What kind of doctor? What’s wrong with her?”

I know it’s none of my business, but I’ve made it a habit of making Roxy my business. I don’t really know why, and I don’t even want to think about the reasoning. But ever since she got here three years ago, I’ve made it a point to look out for her. Maybe it’s because she’s always the one looking out for everyone else. I don’t want to see her hurt or taken advantage of. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. I won’t let myself think about what other reason it could be.

Cat looks at me with surprise on her face. “I don’t know what kind of doctor. I would suppose the regular kind. Maybe it’s just an annual checkup or something. She seemed fine.”

I should leave it at that, but I don’t. “So you saw her? She wasn’t sick or anything?”

Cat’s mouth drops open and she stares between Saint and me. I can see Saint shrug his shoulders at her unasked question. When she looks back at me, her face softens. “I didn’t actually see her today, no. But I did all this week and she’s seemed fine. Maybe a little more quieter than normal, but she hasn’t been sick. I’m sure it’s nothing, but she said she’ll be in later.”

When she finishes, she’s smiling at me like she knows something. I know what she’s thinking. She’s thinking I have something for Roxy. And I don’t. Well, I mean she’s great and all, but no, I’m not into her. At least I’m not going to act on it. Hell, I’m old enough to be her father.

But before Cat starts getting any ideas, I shrug my shoulders. “You’re right. I’m sure she’s fine. I’ll check in on her later… or maybe tomorrow. Is Troy in his office?”

I try to act like I’m okay and not worried, but I can tell that Saint and Cat are not buying it. After they both are smiling at me like lunatics, Saint finally tells me, “Yeah, he’s back in his office.”

I nod and get the hell out of there. My first instinct is to go and check on Roxy. To find her and make sure she’s okay. But instead, I walk down the hallway toward Troy’s office. Knocking on the open door, I ask, “What’s going on, Pres?”

I take a seat and Troy goes over all the precautions and security measures the club has taken since the incident with the Outlaws. Another man would probably tell him that he’s going overboard, but not me. As the vice president of the Heartlands Motorcycle Club, I know our club. The men and the women are our families and I know Pres will do anything to protect that. And I’ll be right there beside him. I have been loyal to Troy and the Heartlands since the beginning, and there’s nothing that will change that for me.

We go over financials of the Ride or Die and the Heartlands Garage. We talk about upping the security measures at the clubhouse. Security is already tight, but if Troy says we need more, we need more. I never argue with protection.

When we’ve talked it out and started putting the plans in action, I walk back outside toward the garage, knowing that is where Saint has gone. I need to go over everything Troy and I discussed and get him up to date on the changes at the garage and the clubhouse. Troy said he would talk to Ranger about the bar. I’m hoping that by the time I’m done, Roxy will be in for her shift. If not, I’ll have to figure out what my next step is. When I was hurt recently, Roxy was the one that came and cleaned out my cuts and even brought me food to eat. Maybe that’s what I need to do for her. When people are sick, don’t they normally eat chicken soup or some shit like that? I’ll go by the diner in town and grab some stuff then go to her house. She may not realize it, fuck she may not even like it, but she’s part of the Heartlands and we look out for our own. If she’s sick or hurting, I’ll be there for her.

* * *

Roxy

It’s official. I’m pregnant. The doctor says I’m about a month and a half along, which I already knew. When the question about the father comes up, I avoid it, instead asking a question of my own. “So is it safe to ride my motorcycle?”

I can tell he wanted to dig deeper into it, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to some doctor about who the father is when said father doesn’t even remember having sex with me in the first place. Thankfully, he drops the subject and answers my question. “It’s as safe as it normally is. However, the bigger you get, you’ll need something else. Plus, when the baby comes you’ll need a safer car.”

I barely refrain from rolling my eyes. I may not know a lot about babies, but I do know I can’t strap one onto the back of my bike.

He continues to talk to me about the pregnancy and how things are going to be more challenging while going through it. He tells me the importance of having a support system. “Even if the father is not involved, having your family there for you will help you immensely.”

I know the doctor means well, but he doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know that I don’t have any blood family. At least none that I know of. My only family is the men and women of the Heartlands and once they find out about what I did, it’s hard telling what’s going to happen with that.

I can’t help but wonder how Gage would take it if I did tell him. He’d probably “do the right thing,” knowing him. And even though I want a father for my child, I’m not willing to settle for “doing the right thing” even though a part of me would do anything to be a permanent part of Gage’s life. There’s no life in that. I would always know the reason he is with me is because of the baby. He would eventually resent me and possibly even the baby. No, I may tell him about the baby eventually, but I am already making plans to raise him or her on my own. Now, I just have to figure out how to tell him.