16. Cat

Chapter 16

Cat

I ’m crying and I have no intention of answering the door. He’s been out there for at least ten minutes, knocking and begging me to come in. But I just ignore him. I know if he doesn’t stop soon, Sheriff Ramsey is going to come and take him away. I don’t know why that bothers me so much, but it does.

Finally fed up, I holler through the door, “Saint, quit making all that racket. You know that Sheriff Ramsey is just looking for a reason to arrest you.”

“I don’t care,” he yells through the door. “He can take me. If I don’t have you, I don’t care if I go back to jail.”

I don’t respond to that. I just lean my head against the door, waiting.

Without even seeing him, I know he’s right on the other side of the door. I look through the peephole and jerk back, because it’s like he’s staring right at me.

I get brave and look through it again. “Just go, Saint. Please just go.”

He shakes his head. “Not without you. I don’t blame you for being mad, but leaving without giving me a chance to explain is cowardly, Cat. And you’re no coward.”

Oh no, he didn’t. He’s not gonna turn this around on me. “Just leave, please,” I beg of him.

But he doesn’t listen to me. Instead, he starts talking and I watch him through the hole in the door. “Four years ago, I came upon a rape in progress. The rapist was a man in his thirties, and the victim, fuck, the little girl wasn’t even old enough to have her driver’s license. When I saw the girl, she was so broken, Cat. I lost all control of my temper and I set out to teach a lesson to the man, as if me hurting him would somehow fix her. The man died two days later when life support wasn’t enough to keep him going.”

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I can see how much this hurts him. The way he talks about the little girl guts me, making me mourn the life she could have had and Saint’s life too.

He puts his hand against the door. “I know I should have told you, but I can’t change the past and I wouldn’t even if I could. No one should get away with what that fucker did to that little girl.”

I can see the heartbreak in his eyes for the little girl as he stands under the dim light. I reach for the deadbolt and flip it back, opening the door. He’s a big, powerful man, but right now, he reminds me of a lost little boy.

I open my arms to him and he comes to me readily. I wrap my arms around him and he picks me up, carrying me to the bed and sitting on the end of it with me in his lap. I cup his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Saint. I should have known. I should have talked to you before I left like that.”

He shakes his head, turning it to kiss the palm of my hand. “I should have told you. I was afraid. Of what you would think of me or that you would leave me. I couldn’t chance it. But I know I was wrong. There’s no more secrets, Cat. No more. I promise that I’ll never raise a hand against you and I won’t let anyone else either.”

He pulls me in tighter, and I know I scared him running off like that, because now he’s acting like he’s never going to let me go. “I shouldn’t have run. I may not have known about that, but I know you. I love you, Saint. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you. I’ll never do that again. For now on, it’s me and you. I’ll never let anything come between us again.”

He leans me back on the bed and lies on top of me. His hand strokes up and down my face in awe. It’s almost like he can’t believe I’m really here with him. “So are we going to kiss and make up or what?”

He clenches his eyes closed tight and when he opens them a sheen of tears are in them. “I almost lost you tonight. I love you so fucking much.”

It guts me, and in this moment I know what me leaving would do to him, to me, to us. I try to make him laugh. “Never again, though. You’re stuck with me.”

He kisses me then, deep and penetrating. When he pulls back, his voice is gruff. “Promise. Promise me, Cat.”

I don’t even hesitate. “I promise.”