1. Cat

Chapter 1

Cat

I look around the quiet bar and take it all in. To someone else, this might look like a run-down biker bar. To me, it’s my salvation. Knowing where I came from and that at any moment my past can come back to haunt me is sometimes overwhelming. It fills my head to the point where I want to drop what I’m doing and take off running. Run and never look back. But I just take a deep breath and talk myself down. I’ve been here just a few months and there’s nothing really tying me here, but I can’t leave. I can’t make myself. I know I need more than a hundred miles between me and Roach, my ex. But I’ve got a good thing here. And I don’t know why, but I feel safe here. More safe than I’ve ever felt in my life.

I met Roach when I left my foster home at eighteen. He took me to his club, the Outlaws, and made me feel like one of the family, one of the club. But it wasn’t long before I found out what he and his club were really like. It started with a slap. But it only got worse. I tried to leave after that first time, but he wouldn’t let me. He had someone watching me all the time. It got worse after that. Each beating was worse than the last. So much that I wished I was dead at one point. But this last time, even though I was beaten until I was unrecognizable, it was worth it. I don’t know if Roach got tired of me trying to run, or if it was an accident, him letting me go and leaving me on the side of the road, but either way it’s what saved me. Ranger finding me was my miracle. It was my chance to start over. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Ranger, the manager of the Ride or Die bar, found me on the side of the road here in Seneca, Nevada. It’s about a hundred miles from Roach and the Outlaws. Ranger found me beaten and unconscious and he had his club, the Heartlands MC, take me in and offer me protection. In the beginning I was afraid of everything. I even jumped at my own shadow. But the club gave me time to heal. I expected to be treated the same way that the Outlaws treated me, but this club is different. Or at least so far it has been.

After I healed, I told Ranger that I know how to mix drinks and I was really good at ordering inventory. He hired me and I assumed he would want something from me in return, but he didn’t. He already has an ol’ lady and I’ll tell you right now, he treats Ruby like a queen.

The men all accepted me, probably because Troy, the president of the club, told them to. But it took awhile for the women to warm up to me. I was treated coldly by a lot of them. But as time passed, I made friends with Roxanne, who is one of the other bartenders and Barbie, who is one of the club “sweettarts.” I don’t try to outdo any of the other women with the bikers they like. I keep to myself. Do my job and then go to my apartment above the bar by myself. Eventually the other women started warming up to me. But even now I keep my head down and work. That’s it. I made a promise to myself that I would stay away from violent men and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I guess since I’m earning my keep, it seems I’m not expected to put out or be passed around to all the bikers. Thank goodness, because I know I wouldn’t want that.

“Get out of that head, honey,” Barbie yells from across the bar. I was so deep in thought I didn’t even hear her come in.

I look around the bar again, surprised that I let my guard down. There’s only a few men in the corner playing pool. They’re harmless regulars. Taking a deep breath, I smile at Barbie. “Hey. What’s up?”

Barbie is beside herself excited. I’ve never seen her smile like this and it’s not her typical I just got laid smile. No, it’s more than that. It even looks like she’s put more effort into her hair. The only way I know how to describe it is '80s hair. It’s blond with dark roots and big. I mean big. I’m pretty sure she’s teased it and sprayed some Aqua Net on it to keep it up. Even when she tries to run her fingers through it, nothing moves. She just takes her hand down and excitedly starts talking again.

She stops in front of the bar where I’m standing. “How do I look?”

I ignore her big hair, her fake breasts bulging out of her shirt and the blue eyeshadow. Barbie has been kind to me and I would never be mean to her. Plus, who am I to judge on fashion? I give her a onceover and tell her, “Beautiful. You want a sweet tea?”

She’s known in the club as a “sweettart.” The way she says it she does her part and services the crew. But she’s sort of the leader. If Barbie likes you, you have a better chance of actually fitting in around here. Even with the guys, they may pass her around, which I’ve discovered she loves, but they all give her respect.

She nods her head and sits down at the bar. That’s one thing I have in common with Barbie: neither one of us drinks.

I set the drink down and she takes a quick drink and starts talking again. “Cat, you better be ready because the hottest thing on two legs is returning tonight.”

I keep working, wiping down the counter and bottles. “Oh yeah?” I ask her. I’m used to Barbie’s tirades about the men in the club. She’s my exact opposite. I try to avoid them and she runs to them.

“Honey, Saint, the sergeant at arms, has been gone for four years and he’s finally back. I swear he’s so sexy your clothes are going to melt right off.” She makes a big to-do of fanning herself, like she’s burning up.

I just laugh at her antics, but I have to admit the place is starting to fill up and I can’t ignore the knot in my stomach. This Saint returning seems to be the source of energy and buzz in the bar. It has been the last few nights and the way people are piling in now, it does seem that there’s an electricity in the room. “Where’s he been for four years?”

She looks at me and then down the length of the bar. There’s three regulars that have sat down and I start pouring the same drinks that they order every night, but I’m curious now. Barbie just looks back at me. “Honey, when you see him, you won’t care where he’s been.” And then she brings her straw up to her heavily painted red lips and takes a big drink.

I move away, delivering the drinks to the three men, but my mind keeps straying back to this Saint. He’s obviously someone important with the club since everyone’s making such a big deal about his return. I just hope he’s not like Roach or the Outlaws. I hate anything new and I’m nervous of anything that might unsettle the quiet little world I’ve created in the middle of this club. And even though no one seems to want to talk about it, I have to wonder where he’s been for the last four years.