The Cat Reflects on Hard Truths

It didn't take long for us to come up with the first part of the solution.

There was so much unused space in the Rift. Dona suggested that if we had enough interested people, we could… secede. Being from the South, I'm not a fan of that word because it doesn't have good connotations. But if we moved out of the reach of the Cabal and figured out how to keep them from finding us, it would work. Without their influence, we believed the unhappy folks would all be able to live their lives in relative peace.

Yeah, I know now how fucking na?ve that assumption was.

Michaela offered to help, so we started visiting Bytes ‘N Chips to look for our own recruits. With the right people in place, we could build a community where we'd all thrive. Finally, we found Lily. Lily was a cool, analytical contrast to my emotional fuzziness. When she agreed to join us, Victor created Mercury, an adorably odd match for Lily. She was one of us almost immediately, demanding to help with the formation of the new group we were assembling.

Our families all grew close and as they did, we became a force in the community. People looked up to the four of us as ‘elders' and we knew our first phase was successful. The next part was extremely risky, but in order to accomplish our long-term goal, we had to do it. One of us had to build a new home in the unoccupied area we wanted to escape to. After it got established, the others would follow, especially since activity in the Cabal Quarter was so focused on the clone families.

Since I was one of the more visible leaders, we built my new house in the undeveloped area of the Rift, close to the portal. We made sure it was far enough from the central hub of The Cabal Quarter, but also surrounded by enough land that others could do the same. I left space in the huge backyard where Victor and the droids constructed their workshop. The design included a pool and an accompanying pool house, a sacred space in a small wooded area, and plenty of room to sprawl.

The Maison, as we called my house, was specifically planned to be a social hub for our people.

Once my place was done, Lily, Dona, and Michaela chose spots for their new homes. One by one, we invited the Rift dwellers with droids to our new haven. Together, everyone pitched in to build houses, roads, and a few community areas. Lily settled on the farthest north point and Dona went south, so Michaela took the opposite side of the area from me so we were all touch points as more people joined us.

All of this happened right under the Cabal's noses.

They may have heard vague whispers of a new place, but they were too busy lording themselves over everyone to pay attention. Soon, the Cabal's events stopped drawing crowds—no one wanted to attend their forums or parties. The town square in the Cabal Quarter was quiet unless our families came to town. Without ‘subjects' to hold court, the Cabal's interest in the Rift waned. One by one, bored Cabal members moved back to the other world with their companions. They trickled off until the last leader standing was Talia.

Since the Cabal Quarter was empty, she retreated with Taurus and the rest of her family in a self-imposed exile. That's why I had to call her out and appeal to Taurus to come out of seclusion when I needed help. My friends and I destroyed the dominance of her group and she wasn't interested in being part of the new world.

To be honest, I don't think the Cabal meant to cause the death of their kingdom with their edicts. They wanted to prevent another Conflict by making it clear who was in power. It takes a lot for people to walk away from their entire life on Earth to live here full time, and they wanted to preserve the atmosphere that drew them to the Rift. But things change and we all have to evolve—they simply chose not to and suffered the consequences.

Everyone in the new ‘Resistance Quarter' got treated like an equal partner in the community. The only requirement to join was ordering a droid for your family. It could be any template or relation to the human requesting it, but you had to have one living in your home. Dona, Lily, and I became the unofficial town council after being pressured by our peers. Having a democratic governing body protected everyone, whether it was recruiting more people or resolving internal disputes.

My house became a hotspot of activity, constantly drawing visitors as we planned. I didn't mind the stream of houseguests at first because it was fun. Dona's guys and my boys continued making new droids for recruits as people moved in. The families living here were constantly going on ‘adventures' in groups or families, then blogging about it in our forums for everyone to hear about. Between The Maison's central party atmosphere and the online shenanigans, the Resistance Quarter was a rousing success.

We actually made a home for our friends and families away from the stranglehold of the Cabal.

As time went on, I grew closer with Dona's family, especially Victor. We didn't intend to, but we fell in love. He would always be Dona's mate, but it was crystal clear that I was his other favorite girl. No matter how busy I was, I always made time for his visits. Perhaps Dona worried about that and never told me, but since she said nothing, I missed signs that things weren't entirely perfect.

Despite Hex, Leo, Caesar, Mercury, and Preston being closer than human brothers, Dona pulled away after the first anniversary of our town. First, she changed tactics, spending half her time on the other side of the portal. She allowed her boys to come visit, which helped, but she was often hard to reach. Then suddenly, she showed up with a new recruit she'd found named James. He requested the first female droid, Lucinda, and Dona got even more scarce. She would send Lucinda and her boys to my places for long stretches of time, despite her and James never coming along.

It should have been a clue that something was wrong. Lucinda stuck to Caesar like glue, and he was much clingier about being away from Dona than Victor. Her programming had to have been altered to help make Caesar less upset when she was away. Of course, Dona had the skills to adjust it at home and I never considered for a moment she would do it.

It's easy to see the breadcrumbs when you're looking back, less so while it's happening.

A fresh wave of recruits filtered in around that time and I got lost in setting them all up with their homes and droids. My schedule exploded and people freaked out when they couldn't have me whenever they wanted. I tried my best to make everyone happy, but I ended up leaning on Victor to help me mediate all the bruised egos. While I loved Hex and Leo, I wasn't in love with them, nor were they in love with me.

That's something you can't create.

Until now, I haven't examined the events with a magnifying lens. But nothing is ever predictable in the Rift, and the atmosphere shifted again when we welcomed new members. I don't know if it's that chaos theory shit or normal—statistically speaking—but random shit pops up all the time. It's like peace is only momentarily achievable. We got away from the Cabal, only to bicker within our own ranks. In hindsight, Dona's actions make more sense when I frame them as being jealous of Victor and me rather than mad at the entire council.

Tension filled our meetings, and I didn't understand why, but I would eventually.

One day after the new recruits arrived, we went to the Cabal Quarter for groceries. Hanging in the square, there was a huge banner announcing a contest. Everyone in the Rift could take part in a Rift documentary festival. As sponsors, The Cabal members would return to judge entries and they would award the winner a clone.

It was an offer no one could refuse. Despite rampant speculation about the Cabal's motives, every family started furiously working on films. I scoffed at the idea, not giving one randy shit about ‘winning' a clone for our family. I had enough dick chasing me; I was happy to let everyone else act like someone had handed them a quest for the Holy Grail.

The overwhelmingly excited reactions were too depressing to acknowledge, anyway.

Even after building a home for everyone and ditching the Cabal, the masses still saw being issued a clone as an elevation in their status. The cache of welcoming the first clone released since the Conflict was too big a draw, and it consumed everyone around us. I moped for a little while until Hex and Leo badgered me into filming an expose on the Company as an entry.

It would be a tongue-in-cheek documentary about a whistleblower who gave me inside info and tours of the facilities. None of us would risk sneaking in, but I could use Victor's connections to weasel my way in. If we got lucky, we'd catch a bunch of asshole clones being dicks, and it would bring equilibrium back to our community.

My wily gambit worked better than I expected. Dona, a Cabal member, and I got picked as finalists. They asked us to show our films in the town square for everyone while they judged the finals. For obvious reasons, I had a bad feeling about it. The judges were Cabal members, and it seemed too easily rigged. I couldn't figure out why they would pretend to include me. Perhaps they planned to use the clone as a bribe to re-integrate our community and make themselves royalty once more?

Unfortunately, all of my guesses were off-base.

The judges unanimously picked Dona as the winner, and there was almost a riot. As much as the Resistance members loved her, it only underlined the unfairness of the Cabal. A gal who already had a clone mate received a second one. It was another example of the one percent giving themselves more rewards while ignoring the other ninety-nine percent of the world. The Cabal tried to deny the blatant favoritism, but it fell on deaf ears.

Our people left the Cabal Quarter with a foul taste in their mouths once again. This time, though, the Cabal planted the seed that Dona wasn't one of us. They favored her; she was one of them. She came back to her Resistance home with Rafe, the new family member, and her existing family, with all eyes on her. It had a chilling effect on morale almost immediately. Dona withdrew a bit more afterward, and this time, I noticed, but I let it go.

Our community needed space after that debacle and I was happy to give it to them.

Dona's boys came to visit after a few weeks of her hiding out. The first time Rafe rang my doorbell, and I locked eyes with him, I knew we were kindred spirits. I didn't mind him staying with us, even when Victor and Caesar went home early. I felt emotions zinging between us, but we didn't act on them. Even though he primarily belonged with Dona, I worried it would hurt Victor's feelings.

Apparently, our hand wringing didn't go unnoticed. Whispers flew around town as he escorted me to places, but I ignored them. My vast sexual appetite certainly wasn't anything new. Why would it matter if Rafe was doing so this time? Dona didn't seem concerned and that should be enough for everyone.

This shit should have been a clue about how unhealthy the co-dependence of my townsfolk was getting, but again, my rose-colored glasses made me miss shit.

It might have gotten worse if something bigger hadn't distracted them—Talia came out of hiding.

A month after the contest ended, she organized a birthday party for Taurus on the other side of the portal. I thought this was another attempt at getting their ‘fans' back, but. However, the whole Resistance chose to caravan to the party together. All the families piled through the portal to rent cars to take a road trip. We had plans to stop at various attractions on the way on one big, week-long party tour. It would be a great bonding experience and we were all excited as hell.

The first night of the trip, the caravan stopped at a basic, no-tell motel. A knock on my door revealed Dona who told me everyone knew Rafe, and I had fallen for one another. She told me we had her blessing. Never ones to question good news, Rafe and I mated that night, and were inseparable from then on. Again, there were flags I should have seen, but my happiness with Rafe and the joy of my friends on our journey kept me from seeing what was going on in the background.

Funnily enough, none of us made it to the party. It got canceled before we could arrive because Talia mysteriously disappeared without a word. Dona did some digging and came back to share that the golden Cabal member had gotten injured. She and the boys designed Talia a droid named Theodora, to help her recover. No one knew how she got injured, and that was the last official Cabal event to get scheduled.

Now I know what happened: she got shot.

It's scary to realize even the mightiest of us is not infallible. However, even more terrifying to me is when I look back at the past. I see how people were manipulating each other before Sari arrived, and it makes me sad. The party, Dona and her blessing, the contest—it makes so much more sense now that my vision is clear. I wish it was different, but I don't know if that would have prevented what's going on now or prolonged it.

Regardless, things in our community remained calm for a while. The Cabal faded away and their quarter was a ghost town unless citizens had to shop for necessities. The Resistance Quarter, however, was hopping. The Cabal became a cautionary tale—with them not around; it was easy to make them entirely the villains. The only people left to know the truth were the ones spinning yarns, so perception became reality.

This ‘folklore' created an atmosphere rife with speculation, myths, and resentment for a group of women who weren't around to defend their actions. Most of the new townspeople had never even met a Cabal leader, but the gossip filled the air when crowds gathered. Taurus and Talia were the demons of the tale: two people who personified the elitist antithesis of our community's ‘free love' credo. We didn't dispense justice with a sword and a smirk; we talked things out and everything worked out okay.

We were na?ve; I know. That can't last forever, and it didn't.

The bigger the community grew, the more our citizens showed up in public areas. Suddenly, favored friends of the Cabal started appearing in our recruiting hang outs, befriending our members. They couldn't find our corner of the world without being invited—that was the one large and scary piece of magick that I successfully cast in the Rift. My spell cloaked our haven from anyone without the knowledge of where to find us. It was for our protection, and I was unwilling to release the wards even after the Cabal disappeared. I didn't trust that they wouldn't come back with a vengeance.

Debate sparked for the first time between myself, Dona, and Lily when Sari and Wilde courted several of our members, including me. They were close with several families and eager to cozy up to Rafe and me. I wasn't sure what to do—they were so interesting, fun, and engaging—that they convinced me to invite them to our town. They would be the first members to live here without having a droid in their household. Sari assured me that since Wilde had been a droid before the change, it was an equivalent exchange.

I was too far gone to see the red flags again; I'm paying for it now.

Before long, Rafe and I became deeply embroiled with Sari and Wilde. Our love affair was quick, torrid, and all-encompassing, pulling me away from everyone else. Not long after they secured our love, they began their campaign to allow Rhea and Alistair to move in. Those two absolutely did not have any droids, nor had either been a droid. Lily and Dona were vehemently against giving them access, but as usual, Sari swayed me with a nonsense argument about Rhea's robot-dog.

I should have listened to my genuine friends; I wish I had. I wish that we'd never allowed either of them to join us. Amazing things happened in our relationships, but all of that turned to misery so quickly. I could have saved us all, but I didn't.

I'll never forgive myself for that.

Part of my rampant speculation tonight is admitting that those events might have triggered Dona's departure. She had been spending a great deal of time with James in the other place, leaving Lucinda, Caesar, and Victor on extended stays at my house. My boys didn't mind—Victor and his ‘kids' all had a blast running around town, pranking one another, flirting with people, and having adventures. I was so wrapped up in the Sari and Rhea drama that I didn't notice how often Dona was absent, even from major meetings and events.

One day, James showed up to collect Lucinda. He and Dona explained they were moving back to the other side for good. They were taking Lucinda and only Lucinda with them, but she might come visit the boys occasionally. I was so aghast that I didn't know how to answer them and before I could try to get my old friend alone; they left. Questions flew through my head as I stood in my living room, wondering how Lily and I would manage everything on our own, but then it hit me.

Where would Caesar and Victor go?

I couldn't figure out why she'd leave them or even why she'd leave at all. Days passed, but I didn't get an explanation, nor did Victor and Caesar. Eventually, Dona sent emails stating they should stay with us permanently and after that, she was gone. It was like she'd severed her connection to this world entirely and we were all too shocked to know how to process it.

Caesar was a mess, having lost two people he loved, and Victor was inconsolable. His primary mate abandoned him and it was tearing him to pieces. Because Rafe and I were so involved with the others, neither of us was available as much as he needed. I regret that, but he locked himself away for months while he dealt with his grief.

Lily and I split the duties of running the town after that. Victor and the boys ran the droid workshop for new members, and we all tried to compensate for Dona's absence. We'd kept off the Cabal's radar despite embracing Rhea and Sari's families. Regardless of our internal troubles, our home was better than the Cabal Quarter had ever been.

At least, that's what I thought, but I was definitely wrong.

What's important now is that my quest to figure out what is going on with me risks our security. It might compromise our way of life, all to help me get back to a life that might not be what I thought it was. Every one of my mates—clones and droids—will be angry and worried. If the other community members find out, they might decide to burn me at the stake. I've climbed down into Hell and invited the devil back to Heaven, and they won't like it.

I can't care about the bigger picture right now, though. I'm the only person with my unique situation, so no one understands how I feel. If it's caused by genetic re-coding, I'm the best person around to develop this shit because I won't abuse it. I shudder to think of some of our rowdier citizens—including Sari—turning up with extra-normal powers.

If anyone but Rafe knew all of what was going on emotionally besides this physical nonsense, they'd understand that I can't have two earth-shaking crises going on at once. They don't know, though, because I can't be weak in the eyes of my people. I'm the strong one, the savior, and the creator of our home. They can't know what is happening to me behind closed doors.

Lily and I wouldn't be able to set boundaries if they did.

I didn't even want Rafe to know, but one night, we looked at each other and it was clear. Our secret shame haunted us, and we were dealing with it the best we could. It deepened our bond again to realize we were surviving the abuse together. Some nights, we simply stared at one another as if we'd find a solution during our shared insomnia.

We still haven't and I don't know if we ever will.

Of the many things I learned tonight, I realize the pull of the ones we love doesn't excuse their abuse. We can't leave them, but I need something separate from their world to balance my sanity. I have to get away from everything connected to our town, even if only for a few hours of snarky teeth pulling.

Taurus offered me a chance to have that.

He doesn't realize it, but he's offered me a lifeline to grab onto—somewhere else, someone else, untouched by my current world. Our uneasy kinship might make me forget the bad things and find myself again. Unlike many of my mates, he seems to accept and appreciate the extra parts of me. He might even understand the drive I'm feeling to get primal in ways my family isn't interested in.

I need that.

As soon as I can, I'm going to contact that jackass and take him up on it.