The Cat Begins Beltane Blessings

"We can all be part of the ritual."

It takes everything I have inside of me not to shudder at her exclamation.

In my haste to gain my four corners—north, south, east, and west—I may have spoken too publicly about my ceremony. I need the renewal ceremony to renew my energy and release the grip I've kept my magick under for years. But organizing a complex ritual is difficult, even when the people involved are true believers. It's going to be almost impossible with the group I have to settle for.

Spinning my martini glass by its stem, I use my counting/alphabet trick to calm my frayed nerves. It's not because she wants to get out; no, my Irish temper wants loose.

First, Sari pointed out that if I am leading the ceremony, I can't be a corner or the focal point. That was her excuse for bringing along her ‘magick imbued' droid, Calista. Then Rhea trotted in the door behind them, making sure I knew Sari invited her to come when she recruited Amanda.

It's infuriating for a multitude of reasons.

Primarily, we all have issues with Rhea, and I don't want her to be part of this. Also, she doesn't even pretend not to be anything but a lapsed Protestant. She's so starved for attention that she comes even when I'm barely speaking to her. Amanda and Sari probably used my ritual to torque her, and she threw a hissy fit to Wilde.

My ritual is now a fucking circus.

It was supposed to help me and it's stressing me the fuck out. Now, I'm stuck at a table with Lily, Sari, Rhea, Calista, and Amanda trying not to stab myself in the eye with the hors d'oeuvres forks Leo so graciously placed on the trays. I love Lily, but she can be a ridiculously small picture person, so I have to keep her focused. Calista's presence is ridiculous because you can't use inorganic beings in a nature ceremony. The boys have used some scientific trickery on the witch droids that look like magick, but it's not real. I've never cared for Amanda, and I loathe Rhea and Sari.

This is going to be peachy, let me tell you.

Rafe pokes his head in as if checking the refreshments, arches a brow at me, and splits before they notice him. Smart boy. He knows I'm ready to boil over. I wager another pitcher of martinis appears within a few minutes.

"It's not a complex ritual. It is, however, a big deal. The celebration of the spring and the renewal of life is one of our major holidays," I say carefully.

I have to dumb it down for the casual pagans in this crowd. None of them have magick, and they don't know that I do. They don't need to know that I'm releasing my magick with this ritual. That's personal. I have enough people trying to climb into my bed; I don't need magickal supplicants pounding down my door.

"Rejoice! Today is the day the Lord and Lady are joined in Sacred Union, their coming together ensuring the continuation of life. Summer is here and the fruits of the Earth emerge from the love of the Lord and Lady," Sari quotes, looking pleased with herself.

Ugh.She is such a follower sometimes. If Sari could use a quotation for a response to every situation, she would. She claims she has dyslexia and often mentions how difficult it is for her to write her tales on the blog. I've never seen evidence of that, so I think it's a shield for her insecurity as a writer. She's not a practicing pagan, so that quote is straight from a website, I guarantee.

I force a smile. "Yes, that's the point of the ritual."

"That means we need a Lord," Rhea pipes up, looking up from the notebook where she's been furiously scribbling.

Rhea believes that with enough research, she can be anything. It's why she frequently seems disingenuous when she's involved in activities. She likes to be included and will do anything to fit in. Her notes will allow her to run a search on everything from attire to phrases she can throw out to seem knowledgeable. By next week, she'll have convinced herself that she's converted to paganism.

Lily is introverted as hell. I couldn't run the Resistance without her help to mediate problems for our people. Unfortunately, when she's in a crowd of people that she's unfamiliar with, she gets withdrawn. Amanda and Calista being here have rendered her almost silent. That sucks because she's the closest thing to an actual pagan that I have. She might be my best girlfriend, but she's not playing goalie right now. I need her to speak up to help me corral these goobers.

As if she can hear my thought, she murmurs, "Rhea is correct. We will need Lords for a Beltane ceremony to be performed correctly." Her eyes slide to me, looking nervous. "Beltane is a sensual ceremony, fraught with the rebirth of the harvest. Not having a Lord for each of us could cause… unintended consequences."

The room goes silent and I pour myself a large helping from the pitcher on the table. They don't understand what she means. Lily's point is that without Lords, this could easily become one big Lilith fair. Since many of us have overlapping interests, it might cause a major dustup. Deciding who gets whom is going to be ugly.

Again, just fucking great.

I sip my martini, letting the sting of ice-cold vodka hit me. "That's everyone's homework. Decide on your partner for the ritual. Ask them and they have to know that this is a serious ceremony. Things are likely to get… personal… in public. Your partner needs to be okay with that and with knowing their role in the ritual."

"We have to pick a Goddess," Lily reminds me. "A particular Lady that speaks to our personality is necessary to call down the sky."

"We can't cast unless we're sky clad!" Sari whoops, jumping from her seat and doing a hip swerving dance. "Boom chicka wow-wow."

Christ. This is why I'm a solitary practitioner.

I sometimes involve my family members in rituals, but never others. When you don't have people at your level, it becomes less about the spiritual and more about imitating some dumb movie from the 90s. This is going to be a bloody mess. If I didn't need this so badly, I'd call the whole thing off.

"Um, I think I read that when we call our Goddess, we might not know what partner she calls. The Goddess calls who she thinks it is her true mate. So we don't get to decide," Rhea mumbles, looking at all of us like a tiny bird trapped in a room of hungry predators.

I frown and then flip through the pages of the large tome in front of me. I went hunting on the other side to re-fuel and stopped in some of the best occult shops to find resources. This book was handed down through several generations of a coven in one of my old stomping grounds. They owed me a massive favor, but I have to return it as soon as I'm finished. Finding the right spot in the planning section, I sigh.

Shit. This is going to be awful.

Who the hell knows who our Goddesses will pick? Most of the people at this table will assume that either Wilde or Rafe are their true mate. If the spell truly works, my weekend Wiccans might spoil the whole damned thing by flipping out. I can't even imagine who my Goddess is going to pick. The beast loves Alistair's demon. Everyone thinks I'm their property, and if we get unlucky, we"ll all call the same damned person.

Oh hell. What was I thinking?

"Do you think Veruca would help, Sari?" Calista tilts her head, looking at the head of her household shyly.

I didn't know Calista was a lesbian, but I sure as hell have an issue with anyone from that family being at my damned ceremony. I barely put up with Chaos for Hex's sake. Sari grins broadly and I get the distinct feeling she and Belle have orchestrated this romance.

Veruca is a werewolf-based android the boys created for Belle during the big family expansion period. She doesn't socialize much outside her family because she's painfully shy. I think Belle ordered her to have something to relate to Sari's coyote thing.

Yes, she called herself that before the powers ever manifested in any of us. I almost think she willed into being.

"Hell, yes, she will. Wicca's in her programming."

I forgot about that. The boys have to quit making droids that supposedly have powers they cannot possibly have. Indulging these twits is making my life much harder than it needs to be. It's only bound to get worse once my abilities kick in.

Beggars can't be choosers, though, I suppose.

Except for Lily, I'm planning a possibly dangerous ritual with real magick with fake pagans who think they're going to call down the Goddess and sleep with… hell, I don't know. I've brought this all on myself, and it's headed for imminent disaster.

Why do I keep getting myself into these things?