The Cat and The Bird Come Together

His roar echoes off the walls and my eyes widen, hoping I didn't set off the bomb again. I'm getting better at trusting that his mercurial moods won't land me in the same spot as Wilde's do. But Wilde has been training this fear into me for months. It's a reflex, like a dog someone has kicked over and over. I'd hate to see what he's done to Rafe if this happens to me.

I nod hesitantly. "She texted about it again today. It was the same ‘you won't get what you want from him—trust me' speech. She either thinks I'm a complete idiot that can't handle myself. I've been trying to tell you that her issue was a tempest in a teapot, haven't I?"

Pulling me closer, he frowns. I start up the purring rumble again, but he shakes his head. "Sandwich, there's inconsequential, and then there's that shit. I don't even know what that is."

"I tried to tell you." I sigh, running a hand over my face. I really want to watch her bleed. It wouldn't fix anything, but it would sure make my Beast feel better.

He brushes a kiss behind my ear, murmuring against my skin. "The short story is that I'm an insensitive prig."

"That might be a quote." I chuckle softly, enjoying his sudden calm.

He wraps his arms around my stomach, whispering into my ear. "Are you going to run the other way, pet? You know what a bad, thoughtless cretin I am."

"Oh, definitely. Note the flames, as I'm running as fast as my tootsies can take me," I quip.

"There's a reason I always high-tailed it out of there when Rhea and I finished. If you're interested in knowing, I'll tell you." His nose nuzzles the back of my neck as he muses, and I'm so comfortable that I don't even think that I'm asking for trouble.

Do I want to know this?

I'm a little afraid of the answer. Damn the torpedos. Might as well sink with the ship. "Yeah?"

His teeth nip along my spine and I close my eyes to let the sensations dull my senses. "Mmm hmm."

"And?" I know that as good as this feels, I'm going to feel my stomach drop to my feet when he tells me.

"Haven't you figured it out, kitty? I'm cold and unfeeling. More than that, I thought it was odd how proprietary she acted every time we got naked. Even with Talia nearby nailing Alistair, she'd get demanding." He pulls back, pausing as if he's said too much. "What can I say? She acted like I should want to spend more time with her than with Talia. It's why I stopped banging her."

I nod, dipping my chin so I don't have to look at him. "Rhea gets possessive of people she's fucking. I think it's because of how she views her relationship with Alistair." I finally look up at him when my tough front back is back in place. "You are not cold and unfeeling; don't think I buy that for a second."

"She hung on me all the time in public. It drew attention, and we weren't comfortable with it."

I close my eyes, reminding myself that I need to accept that this haven he created is all I will ever have with him. One kiss on the lawn during a fight does not mean he's okay with our—whatever it is—becoming public knowledge. That has been our agreement from the beginning, and I accepted it. I have an army at home that loves me. There's a line at my door, so there's no need to be dramatic. "I've seen that in action. She's done it with Rafe and Wilde."

"We'd be chatting in a crowd, and she'd start touching me. Not that I'm opposed to getting felt up, but I'd prefer not to look like I'm cheating on my woman."

I nod, wondering where the very public kiss on my lawn rates in that scenario. Talia and Taurus are fine with sleeping with others they approve secretly, but public knowledge of it is cheating? It doesn't make any sense with their image, sure, but why not just… adjust it like we all have? How does that fit into their silly ‘only my mate' belief system and very public stance on poly behavior?

Hell, how does any of this with me rate, given his code?

He shrugs. "That's what happened with us. I enjoyed banging her, which is why it went as far as it did. I wasn't hers and never would be. That's why I was up front about the blood play between us, pet."

Nodding, I try to keep myself from looking visibly perturbed. He was upfront because he knows my control sucks. I'm determined not to screw this up, so I work hard to tamp her down. Anger, fear, affection, shame, hurt, and betrayal are all shooting through my veins like wildfire. I don't want him looking at me, so I shrug. "There's a hole inside her that needs filling. No one can do that until she does the work herself. It makes for treacherous terrain."

"You can't say that I didn't make sure you understood certain aspects of my personality."

He's been baldly honest about who and what he is from the beginning. That's true. Except… Recently, his behavior has been decidedly un-Taurus-like, which is confusing. For someone who wanted to raise hell, hunt, and fuck our brains out, there's been a marked lack of fucking, hunting, or going out to raise hell. Lately, we've been intimate, but not just physically. Most of the time, we sit and talk. Right now, he's cuddling me, despite claims to the contrary. "You've been honest. I can't fault you there."

A devilish grin lights his lips. "I'd be petting your puss right now if it wasn't for the end of the workday for Talia. I have to meet her for dinner soon. The other night, I would have stayed longer if I hadn't been booked. I don't feel the same claustrophobia as I did with Blondie."

Ha! That's because I'm a very smart kitty who keeps her damned fool mouth shut. I don't say a word about all the ugly, nor a word about the weird fluttery feelings I seem to get around him. "I'm aware of how clingy she can be."

"But I'm a bastard in bed, so you should kick me to the curb and run. That's what the rumors say."

"You are not." I roll my eyes at him.

"It's not like I've given you any pleasure at all, right?" He arches his brow, going back to teasing.

"Not a drop, you evil, pillaging fiend."

He barks a laugh and tries to look properly villainous as he lunges at me. Burying his face in my neck, he blows raspberries on my skin and tickles my sides.

"Ack! Ack!" I wriggle, trying to get away.

Picking me up as he stands, he tosses me a foot into the air. He ignores my squeals of alarm as he catches me with a swoop. Once he has me, he bends down to press a big, warm kiss in the space between my breasts, then on my mouth.

I give him a playful scowl, thumping his chest. "You threw me. Monster."

He cups a breast in his hand and looks remarkably unashamed. "Yup. I'll do it again, too, wench!"

I look properly offended. "Unhand me, you unholy creature of the night!"

Holding me tightly, he lifts his head. Looking into my eyes, he asks softly, "Tell me something, pet. Does the way I am bother you? Is there a chance your feelings are will get hurt? It's important to me they're not. I've heard the warnings—foolish though they are—but I'll take them seriously if there's a chance the squawking shits are right."

Oh, boy. He does not want the answer to this one.

The simple answer is yes.

It didn't bother me at first because I had a handle on it. If he'd stayed the same jackass that I met on night one, it wouldn't be a problem. But he changed. He let me in, and I let him in without knowing. I'm scared for the day when I he gets bored and disappears. I'm far too attached to him for a supposed tension reliever.

I'm angry and jealous and feeling weirdly possessive—and I have no right to be. Nothing in the way I feel—or the way he's behaved—has been in concert with our original contract. I'm going to get my heart shredded.

But what the hell, why not once more with feeling?

My beat up, scarred heart is nothing compared to my beat up, scarred body. There's no magickal healing blood for that trauma. If I'm going to go down, it might as well be in flames, right? I'm not a halfway gal.

So I either lie or end it now. "You have done nothing I take issue with so far. I've been having a hard time understanding what the hell Rhea is talking about."

He nods and grins wickedly. "So... fuck buddies?"

That feels like a punch to the gut and I wait for my breath to return to my lungs. Words are difficult with a thick tongue and closed throat, so I just look at him. It takes a minute to mask the emotions running through me and keep them from reflecting on my face. When I gather myself, I say, "You said that to look big and bad; don't think I'm not onto you."

"Yup. I'm good at it, aren't I?"

"At being an ass? Excellent." Oh, good. Banter. I can do that. Maybe the rest of my body will de-petrify now.

He chuckles, looking delighted, and gives me another smacking smooch. "You know it." Kissing the tip of my nose, he asks, "Next time, kitty, do you want snuggles?"

Oh, please, don't ask that. I don't want your pity.

I mean, maybe I do, because I'm the damned stupidest individual in the Rift, but you don't know that. Don't act like you'd do it only to make me happy. Dammit. Why am I so damned stupid? Shit, he wants an answer.

"You know what? How about you decide whether you are in the mood for that? Personally, I'm fine either way, but I'd rather it be because you wanted to—not because you think I do."

He nods, bending down to get his duster off the table. It displays his tight ass and I watch. I'm out of the woods for a bit, so why not have a little fun? I reach out and pinch it, grinning. "Hey! I said nothing about pinching. You sodding pinched me. You treacherous, wily, female-type person!"

I smirk at him, quite satisfied with myself. "You can't be a sex object if I can't get grabby; it makes no sense."

"Aha! You admit I'm a sex object!"

Well, shit. That backfired.

"You're one step away from ‘hunk of burning clone', pet."

I make a disgusted face. "I will never say that."

He laughs loudly and shakes his head. "I know how you really feel about my manly self. Before you can heat the air with tragic lies to yourself, I'll be taking off."

I blow him a kiss, pulling my phone out. "See you later."

As he disappears and I re-appear in my house, I wonder when the entire world went cuckoo and how I'm going to fix it before I spiral out of control. The voice in my head whispers, ‘too late' and I sigh, knowing I'm right.

I'm screwed.