Chapter 19

Nineteen

Maeve

I wave to Tanner in the driveway as he drops me off at Josie's place for book club night. He's been busy all day, practicing for the game this weekend in New York, and while I don't normally leave the hotel when away, I did agree to meet up with his sister Annie, and her boyfriend Logan, for dinner and drinks after the game. I think I might be a little bit excited about that. I'm sure she'll have lots of fun stories to share with me about her baby brother, and the streets of New York will be decorated for the holidays. Heck, I haven't been to the big apple since my modeling days, and I do miss it.

I told Tanner I could get myself to Josie's. Heck it's simply going from my door to her door. What could possibly happen in between? He insisted on driving me, as the husbands of the women here tonight are all going to meet down the road for a beer. Apparently, Josie's friend Olivia lives a few streets over, and the guys like to meet up and hang out on book club night.

As he drives off, my thoughts go to Kate, and my stomach tightens. I didn't hear her come in after our night at The Dome and she was gone by the time Tanner and I got up. Is she pissed off that Tanner's truck was in my driveway, and he was in my bed? I swallow against a tight throat. I'd never in a million years want to hurt Kate. I usually do what she tells me to do, letting her lead the way, because I have a hard time trusting myself to make decisions. At least, the right decisions.

That night, however, I made a decision, and in my heart, I know it was the right one because Kate is wrong about Tanner, and I have every right to be with a man who wants me. He insisted on driving me here tonight—and he'd been staying with me—because he cares about my well-being. He's not anything like my ex, wanting to keep the world out and turn me against everyone so he can keep me to himself. I may be trusting myself more, learning to make my own decisions and stand on my own two feet and I'm pretty sure I have Tanner to thank for that.

I note the way Tanner slowly inches out of the driveway, until the front door opens, and once he sees Josie, he drives off. Josie looks past my shoulder to wave to Tanner, but he's gone.

"I'm so happy you came tonight." She gives me a wide smile, and when I frown, concern moves into her eyes. "What?"

I hold the hockey romance book out and show her that I at least bought it. "I didn't get a chance to read the book."

Her laugh curls around me and she gives a wave of her hand. "That is not a problem. Susan highlighted the good parts that we're going to read out loud."

"No way."

She leans in and winks. "I'm talking about the sexy parts."

I laugh, never having done anything like this in my life, but why not. "Oh, that will be fun."

"I warn you, though." She wags her finger. "You either need to invite that man home with you afterward." She points to the direction where Tanner drove off. "Or have extra batteries on hand for you know what."

I point down the street. "I believe I'll be inviting that man home."

"Good."

"He's actually been staying with me," I admit honestly. I don't normally open up to anyone other than Kate, but there's just something warm and kind about Josie. Will I lose her as a friend after playing the part of girlfriend? Will Tanner and I each go our own ways after our charade in Santorini?

"Hey," she murmurs softly and gives me a big hug. "I hope you don't mind that Tanner told Jesse about some things going on. They're pretty tight and Jesse isn't going to say anything to anyone. You can trust me on that."

"Actually, I think it's good that Tanner has someone to talk to." My heart does a little flip to know my name is on his lips when he's with his friends, and that he worries about me and my situation enough to open up to his good friend.

"I'm sorry you've had a few scares and the damn paparazzi." She shakes her head. "I saw the pictures. Ridiculous."

I work to find the humor in it all. "If his mother saw them, at least she'll be happy to see that I'm real. Tanner said she's probably going to show up out of the blue just to meet me."

"She's going to love you, Maeve." My heart pinches tight at her sweet words.

"Will you two get in here and close that door?" someone yells from the other room. "You're freezing us out."

Josie laughs. "Ohmigod, I'm awful. Get in here." She pulls me inside and closes the door. "The hardest question of the night, Maeve. Red or white wine?"

I laugh as I reach into my bag and pull out a bottle each of white and red. She takes them from me and sets them on the side table as I unzip my coat. "I'm easy. Whatever everyone else is having." She takes my coat from me and hangs it up as I slip out of my boots.

She picks up the wine. "Follow me." I'm about to head down the hallway with her when knuckles rap at the door.

"Oh, that must be Allison. She's always late." Josie comes back and holds the two bottles up. "Would you mind opening that for me?"

I pull open the door and glance at the pretty blonde on the steps, a big bowl of dip in her hands. She seems a bit breathless. "Sorry I'm late. I got Liam to sleep and before I could pump, I lactated all over the place and had to change my clothes."

"Get in here," Josie calls, and I love the openness and honesty between the two. I always thought I had that with Kate, but now I'm not so sure I do. I actually find myself keeping things from her. Things like how much I like Tanner, how much it bothered me that she worked on his shoulder, or that maybe I just want to be a grown up and take care of myself. I have a feeling Kate wouldn't like any of that. I'm starting to believe she might like controlling my life, and while I might have needed that after the incident, I'm not sure I do now. I don't feel like I can be honest about any of that.

I turn to close the door, and when I do, I spot movement on the street. My heart momentarily stops as I watch a big man walk down the sidewalk. As he turns my way, Josie maneuvers around me and shuts the door with her foot.

"Damn, it is cold out there."

I blink and quickly pull myself together. Honest to God, every time I see a man in dark clothes, I have to stop thinking it's my ex. It was bad before the tabloids plastered my picture all over the papers, and now it's worse.

"You good?" Josie asks, and turns when she notices I'm not following her down the hall.

I nod quickly. "I'm great." Dammit, I'm determined to have fun tonight and honestly, if I'm going to start living life again, I have to stop thinking the worst all the time.

I follow her into the kitchen, where she pours me a glass of wine and then we walk into the living room where there are seven women sitting around, most drinking wine, and all of them chatting. Smiles light up their faces when I walk in, and after a round of introductions, I take a seat, happy that no one has mentioned my modeling years. I like just being part of the gang, and fitting in, and there's such warmth and comfort in this room they make it all easy.

"Okay, who read the book?" Cassie asks, and three hands go up.

They all turn and look at Allison. Obviously, they know something I don't. "Okay, fine," she mumbles and buries her face in her hands. "I only read the good parts. Where was I supposed to have the time? Just wait, Autumn," she teases, pointing at her pregnant friend. "You'll see." Allison sighs as Rondi takes a drink of her wine. "I miss wine."

"When you finish breastfeeding, we'll all take you out for a night on the town," Josie soothes.

"Yeah?" she asks, so much hope in her eyes we can't help but laugh. "Actually, I have a better idea," Allison says as she sips her cranberry drink. "A night in Vegas."

"Yes," everyone yells at once. Everyone but me, that is. I just met these women and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be going to Vegas with them. Besides, I don't really go anywhere on my own, other than to work and back and the occasional grocery store trip.

"Can we wait until this chicken nugget is born and I can go?" Autumn asks, and from the looks of things, she's ready to give birth any day, or even any minute now.

"Of course, we can," Josie tells her. She taps her chin. "How does May sound?"

They all nod and talk about checking their schedules. May would be good for me, as the season is over, but I remain silent.

"Maeve, how does May sound to you?"

"Oh." I sit up a bit straighter. "I…" I hesitate as everyone watches me hopefully. A little bubble of excitement wells up inside me. "I think May would work."

Josie claps her hands. "Yay. It's settled. Let's all put in for vacation in mid May." She points a finger around the room. "No one get pregnant before May."

I laugh at that. I have no intentions of getting pregnant ever. Heck, I'd have to have a man for that.

You do have a man for that, don't you, Maeve?

My heart jumps into my throat. I've never thought about having a baby. My hand moves to my stomach. What would it be like to have life growing inside me, to have that glow like Autumn has? A little ball of nervousness and delight zings through my veins. I've always liked children; I just never gave much thought to having my own. I think I might like the idea.

What is happening to me?

Honest to God, Tanner and I have been having fun, but he's not my man and he told me he wasn't into relationships. That thought makes me laugh. For a guy who is afraid of commitment, he sure has no trouble spending all his spare time with me, and not just in bed.

We do other things, like play games, watch television and talk. Granted, we do most of those things behind the four walls of my house, and I've already said even if he wanted more, I would never want him to resent me because I couldn't go out and do things—fear keeping me back. Although Tanner never seems to mind.

Did you not just agree to a trip to Vegas?

Why yes, yes I did.

"Let's see that rock," Josie says to Gemma.

Gemma grins and holds her hand out. "It's so beautiful," Trish exclaims, as she takes Gemma's hand into hers to examine it.

"He was so romantic, and so nervous," Gemma gushes.

"Did you set a date?"

"Still working on it." She holds her ring hand out and examines it herself.

"There's only one bare finger left in this room, and I suspect that won't be for long."

I gasp, and shake my head. "What? No. Tanner and I…"

Josie grins, and looking at me like she might know something I don't, which is crazy. Tanner and I aren't talking about marriage. Heck, we're in a pretend relationship.

Then why the hell does it feel so real? Either because it is real, or because I wish it was.

She winks at me. "I'm just saying, I see the way you two look at each other."

Wow, is it that obvious? If it is, then wouldn't Kate have picked up on that—considering she's my best friend—and stopped talking about trying to sleep with Tanner?

"Okay, so about the spicy parts," I begin with a laugh, wanting the conversation off me. I glance around as everyone picks up their books and a part of me envies what these women have. Husbands, families, great friends who aren't dragging anyone to a pub and forcing them to sing on stage when it's not what they want. Dammit, I want what they all have. So, what am I going to do about that?

The first thing I need to do is truly start believing in my own judgment, the second is start living my life again outside my four walls, and the third is dealing with the past and moving on from it. By doing that I have to stop overreacting and assuming every dark shadow I see is my ex.

For the next two hours, we laugh, talk, read from the book and I find myself relaxing more than I have in a very long time. Before I know it, Autumn is stretching and telling us she has to head home, and Allison pipes in that it's her baby's feeding time again.

I message Tanner and tell him we're done for the evening, and I follow the other women down the hall to the front closet. We all laugh and chat as we tug on our boots and winter coats, and we all start filing out of the house as our drivers come.

It's really nice to see that their husbands are all here to support them and see them home safely, which once again reminds me of Kate, and what she had to say about Tanner. Maybe, unlike me, she just never had anyone in her life care about her the way Tanner cares about me. The truth is, Tanner and I need to talk and we need to do it soon.

With that thought, I start down the stairs, but stop abruptly when I see movement on the other side of the street. As my heart climbs into my throat, I blink to adjust my eyes, and then suddenly the vision is gone. Tanner pulls up in front of me, and hops from the truck to come around my side to open my door.

He takes one look at me and his face tightens. "Maeve?"

"I…I…thought." He looks over his shoulder and checks the empty sidewalk.

"What's going on?"

"I thought I saw something." I shake my head. "I'm sure it was nothing."

He puts his arms on my shoulders. "What did you think you saw?"

"A person…a man. When you first dropped me off and now."

"No one knows you're here, Maeve."

"No one but you," I say as he pulls me to him, holding my shaking body.

"Do you think someone could have followed us here?"

"I…I don't know. My God, didn't I just tell myself I had to stop overreacting to every shadow? Am I ever going to lead a normal life, have what those lovely women have?

He inches back, his gaze assessing me, but it's the guilt I see in his gaze that hurts my heart. He thinks this could all be happening because of him. "Maybe it's time we called the police," he says.