24. CODY

CODY

T weedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb had collected half the team, a few partners, and even some of the long term staff that hung around the stadium to help facilitate practices. As per usual the outfield had been made comfortable with pillows and blankets we kept in the storage locker on site.

“Wait, is it like a drive-in?” Clementine asked as we walked across the infield and onto the turf.

“Better,” I said, as Jensen popped out from one of the service doors below the big screen used for games. It played replays, crowd reactions and kept the score. But on nights like this we used it for Karaoke.

“Cael,” Clementine whined my name, and off her lips it sounded less like a plea for help and more like sin.

“You shook on it, Clem. There’s no going back now.” I smiled at her.

Today had been long, all I wanted to do was curl into bed and pray until my skin stopped itching and my head stopped pounding. But when she sauntered into the living room, all sass and tight pants, I couldn’t deny that perfect pout a goddamn thing.

I missed Mama something fierce and I felt horrible but it made it hard to be around Clementine. She made me so happy, but then the guilt seeped in on these days when memories were darker than they should be and I’d rather be alone. Not because I was mad at her, but because it made it hard to control the urges, nearly impossible.

Even now I had my hands in my pockets, picking at the seams and pulling the threads loose to keep my mind busy. Clementine looked horrified but Karaoke had turned into a pastime that we all enjoyed. Maybe a little too much. It had been a lot more fun when Arlo would sneak in a flask of vodka, only to share it with us behind Silas’ back.

“Alright.” Van pulled a mug out. It was yellowed and the Hornets logo looked like it might be from the early years of the team, peeling and cracking on the side as he held it out to the group. “Everyone draws.”

Inside was a series of popsicle sticks, some clearly had been chewed on, and I laughed as Clementine took notice with disgust on her face. She took it out and held it up.

“Three?” She said, angling it in the air so I could see it.

“The number on your stick is the order we go in,” Mitchell explained, as the rest of the group drew sticks. Dean yipped with excitement as he drew one and the entire field lit up with groans.

“Get ready to drink,” Ella laughed, as we all settled into the blankets.

“Will he really?” Clementine asked, her thigh brushing against mine as she sat between Ella and I.

“It’s a rare occasion when Dean doesn’t sing it.” I pushed my hair back off my face and leaned back on my elbows to stare up at the big screen as it lit up brightly across the dark field. It took them a moment to get the song up but, as predicted, Party in the USA blasted over the field.

The sound scared Clementine, her whole body flinching next to mine, but I didn’t mind because she leaned into my shoulder and tilted her head up in the cutest way possible. The lights from the screen twinkled in her eyes and mimicked the stars.

Her giggle echoed in the form of fireworks down my spine as Dean started to sing terribly out of tune only to be distracted by Van tapping my shoulder and handing me a cup of apple juice with a wink.

It was such a simple gesture but it created a wave of gratitude I wasn’t prepared for. The expectation going into recovery was that none of them would want to be my friend if I wasn’t that goofy guy they loved so much. The party animal with a lack of regard for his own safety and always dialed up to one hundred.

There had been a real fear when I returned from rehab that I wouldn’t belong in the Nest anymore. It was ridiculous but, at the time, so sober and in so much pain, it was tangible to my twisted, fractured mind.

But I had been so far from right. They had hung stupid banners with their second grade printing skills and cleaned out all the fridges in the Nest of alcohol. Instead of disowning me or shunning me because of it, they embraced the sobriety and made it their lifestyle too.

Of course they all still drank outside of the Nest, birthdays and parties at Delta. I could handle myself and, when I couldn’t, I searched out Ella or my sponsor and we handled it together. But recovery had looked a lot different than expected and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

“Hey, Daydream,” Clementine whispered to me and I shook from my thoughts to look over at her. “You alright?” She asked and I nodded because, for the first time today, I actually felt like I was.

I had spaced out through most of Dean’s horrible rendition and came back to reality half way through Jensen belting out some Queen song that only he and Van knew word for word.

“You’re next,” I said to her with a tiny smirk.

“Switch me,” she begged.

“Sorry that’s against the rules,” I laughed and looked at the scribbled five on my stick.

“You said there were only three rules and that wasn’t one of them.” Clementine poked me with her stick. “Trade me spots.”

“What are you going to do for it?” I smiled up at her, offering her the chance. “Before you answer, I’ll sing everyone's turn here for just one kiss.”

“Shut up and let me think,” she groaned.

Her eyes trailed over my body and it lit me up like a raging fire, heat licked every inch of my skin under that chocolate gaze. I could see her trying to come up with something that might be worthy of such a trade, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip and calling attention to how full it was.

She leaned down, her lips brushing against my ears.

“You can tie me up,” she whispered, heat raging as her breath fanned over my skin. “Once, whenever you call it in.”

My eyes flickered to meet hers as she pulled away and stared down at me through heavy lashes. Her nose scrunched up when I didn’t answer but I loved to watch her squirm. For all her gained confidence she was still so easily rattled; it had taken everything in her to offer that. And now it was taking everything in me not to pick her up, carry her to the closest room with a lock, and make good on it.

“Fine,” I said tightly, shifting to adjust myself. “But you can’t say no when I come to collect.” I pushed from the ground and walked over to Jensen.

“I swear to god, Cael!” Van groaned and Zoey instantly lost it in a fit of laughter as the first chords to Like A Prayer blasted over the speakers.

“We should add this song to the rules,” Dean shouted over the sound of my voice as the first chorus rounded.

Strutting towards him I used my free hand to yank my shirt over my head and flicked it at him while I sang. He pushed it off his face and glared at me. I blew him a kiss and belted the next lyrics with both hands on the mic and my chin tilted to the sky.

“You sing it so much that I hear it in my nightmares!” He threw his empty juice cup at me as I sang in his face.

I jumped out of the way with a goofy grin on my face and wandered over to stand in front of Clementine in the grass, her eyes never leaving mine.

“ When you call my name, it's like a little prayer,” I sang, and the blush crept to her full cheeks. With a smile I dropped to my knees before her. “ I'm down on my knees. ”

She shook her head at me and all the images of me on my knees for her flooded back, memories I never wanted to forget. Clementine mouthed the next line along with my obnoxiously loud voice with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes.

There was something about this song that made me feel alive, like an adrenaline rush to the system. Maybe it was the act of singing it for them that did it because, as I spun around acting like a fool, I realized I didn’t actually listen to this song unless I was singing it…

I dropped back to my knees in the turf and sang the last chorus as loudly as I could until their claps roared and I took my bow.

“Thank you, thank you,” I said dramatically and winked at Clementine. Van rose to take his turn and I chucked the mic at him before settling back down against Clementine.

“Good luck following that up.” I kissed her cheek before she could stop me and rolled back onto the blanket beneath me.

“You guys are so dramatic,” she huffed, clearly nervous.

“Do you know what song you’re going to pick?”

She fidgeted with the blanket under her butt and thought about it quietly with a small hum that wasn’t much of an answer.

“It’s harder than expected to just pick a song to sing.” Clementine laughed. “Do I go nostalgic and do something I know?”

“Hah!” I barked. “Every song you know well enough to call nostalgic is a depressing country ballad, please don’t do that.” I put my hands up in mock surrender and fell back against the blanket, giving her the space to lean over my chest.

“Oh come on, they aren’t all depressing. They’re about love,” she argued, with a small pout that begged for a kiss.

My will power waned under the sight but, no matter how badly I needed reprieve, I wouldn’t break the intense eye contact we held.

“Love is depressing ,” I whispered to her and she pulled back, narrowing her eyes at me. We both knew I didn’t believe it but, in the moment, unable to show her how much I did love her, it sure felt that way.

“Mary,” Jensen sang into the mic as his song ended. “You’re up.”

She pushed off my chest and it took everything in me not to grab her and pull her back into my space. The world felt a little colder without her body pressed up against mine and I grumbled as I rolled to sit up, earning a small chuckle from Ella.

“She’s good,” Ella said quietly as Clementine whispered to Jensen and they scrolled through his phone looking for songs.

My face must have read as confused because Ella sighed.

“She pulls you out of your own head. It’s like there’s a string tied to both of you and one tug is enough to balance you out,” she explained. “I can see why she’s your happy, Misery .