Chapter 5

LUCAS WASgrateful once the memorial service finished. He had made some sort of peace with his father, but that didn't wash away the years of hurt. It dulled them, though. Lucas had wondered sometimes what this moment would be like and whether he would feel anything at all.

"Are you okay?" Aunt Rose asked as they got up to leave the chapel at the funeral home.

"I will be," he answered. He didn't want to sound cold or cruel, but it was hard for him to bring up a well of emotion for someone who had written him off years ago.

Aunt Rose nodded slowly. "You know it's okay to be angry with your father and to resent him. What he did was wrong, and I think he regretted it. But don't let that be the only thing you remember about him." The sun shone on Lucas as the two of them wandered through the peace garden behind the building. "Try to remember the fun times when you were both happy, before your mother passed. Those were the good years. Let the rest go."

He nodded, knowing he would try, but it was hard not to carry it all with him.

"Lucas," Matthew said as he and the four kids approached. "They said you were out here."

"We wanted to make sure you were okay," Will said, his eyes downcast. He rubbed his cheeks, and Lucas took a deep breath, remembering that he wasn't the only one hurting.

"Thank you. How are you doing?" He looked at Will straight on. "It's okay to feel bad. That's what happens when we lose someone."

Will sniffed. "It feels like losing Daddy and Mama again." Lucas didn't know what else to do, so he hugged him, letting go of his own hurt, at least for now, to comfort someone feeling worse than him.

"I know it does." He lifted his gaze to Aunt Rose over Will's shoulder. "Just remember the good times and how they made you happy. The fun things you did together. That's what really counts." His aunt smiled and brushed away a tear as Will held him in return. Matthew seemed to have his hands full. "Do you know what makes me feel better at times like this?"

"What?" Will asked.

"Pancakes. Lots of pancakes. And ice cream."

"Yeah?" Will asked, and Lucas nodded.

"How about we all go get some?" There was a lunch back at Aunt Rose's church, but he hadn't intended to go. There would be too many people, and his stalker might try to make an appearance.

"Are you sure about this?" Matthew asked, adjusting Carl's weight from where he lay with his head on his shoulder. "This is a small town, and it's all over that you're here. I even heard on the radio that you're going to be on one of their shows." Matthew drew closer, and Lucas's attention fell on his plump lips. "Everyone is watching out for you."

"I know."

"So why don't you come back to the house and I'll make you pancakes? I also have ice cream in the freezer, along with fruit and sprinkles for Brianna."

"That's a great idea, and I can help you," Lucas offered.

Matthew laughed. "You mean you learned to cook since tenth grade, when you burned water and filled the school kitchen with smoke at least three times?"

"Har-har," Lucas groused, because he couldn't argue with the truth.

"And who taught you to cook?" Matthew asked.

Lucas cleared his throat. "I'll have you know that I've cooked with some amazing chefs." Matthew rolled his eyes. "Okay. I've watched my personal chef make things for me."

"That's more like it. And yes, you can help me in the kitchen." Matthew set Carl on his feet when he started to squirm. Then he took Lucas's hand. "You can do the dishes, but you'll have to wear gloves. I don't want your next director complaining that you have dishpan hands." Matthew took Carl's hand again. "We'll meet you at the house. And tell Rachel she's welcome too. Brianna keeps asking about her. I think she likes having another girl around."

"Of course. We'll be there soon." He found Rachel watching people, and they went to the car and escaped before people could gather.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Rachel asked. "There's no way I can provide security if people start showing up." The hotel had tightened its security and was only allowing registered guests inside, so yesterday one of the news organizations had booked a reporter into the hotel, and she tried to corner him. She had been summarily shown the door.

"Yes, I'm sure." He sat back as she drove. "I need…." He wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. "I'm tired of being cooped up in a cage of my own fame and notoriety. I want to see people, and Matthew is—"

Rachel continued driving. "Special?" she supplied.

"Yeah. He is. You've met a ton of famous people, and I'm not asking you to speak out of turn, but how many of your clients would ever consider raising their sister's four kids?" He turned to face her, and she gripped the wheel tighter. "See? He's amazing, and I let him get away. I don't want that to happen again."

"You want to see where this goes?" She shook her head. "You have to go back to Hollywood in a few weeks. What are you going to do, take all five of them with you?" Rachel suddenly stopped talking.

"Go on. You were never quiet or shy about your opinions. Don't start now. It's one of the things I like about you. Everyone else tries to tell me what they think I want to hear. You give it to me straight."

"Yeah, but someday you may fire me for my big mouth." She pulled to a stop at the light at Stiles Road before turning left, heading out toward Matthew's home.

"So you're saying I should just walk away." He had wondered about that himself.

Rachel slowed down. "I'm not telling you what you should do, but whatever it is, just make sure you know what you're doing." She pulled the car to the side of the road. "All I'm saying—and I have no right to tell you any of this other than the fact that you're better than most of the other people I work for—just know that there's more than just what you want at stake here. Those kids will grow to like you, and Matthew… well, he's a good, kind person."

"And it's been a long time since I had someone like him in my life," Lucas admitted softly. "Maybe you're right, and—"

"Or maybe I'm wrong," Rachel interrupted. "Hell, it's possible I don't know shit about anything. All I'm asking is that you think through what it is you want, because soon enough, you're going to return to Hollywood and get back on the treadmill for your next movie." She grew quiet and pulled back onto the road.

Lucas sat back, trying to clear his head. "I know, but…." He sighed. "I can tell you this because I know it won't go any further, but… I'm fucking lonely." He leaned forward, tugging the seat belt with him. "I haven't had anyone give a rat's ass about the real me in years. The studio is only interested in how much money they make and how many people I can pack into a theater. My agent wants his cut, and everyone else just tries to see what they can get from me. But Matthew, he doesn't want anything from me. He never did." Lucas swallowed hard. "He was the one person who loved me for me, and I left him behind." There was no other way to put it. "I know I was a kid and it was years ago. Maybe I'm just being stupid, or I could have finally figured out what's really important."

"Or your mind could be going in a million different directions because you just went to your father's funeral. Just give yourself a break and a chance to breathe. Don't make any rash decisions." She slowed and pulled into the gravel drive, then up to the ranch house. Lucas got out of the SUV, but Rachel stayed inside, checking her phone.

"Son of a bitch," Rachel growled, half under her breath.

"What is it?" Lucas asked before he closed the door.

"Just get inside and stay there. I need to arrange for a different car. It seems that your damned stalker was at the service today. There are pictures of you and the car." She got out, leaving the car running, and approached him. "Will you be okay here without me? I'd really like to trade in the car and get a different one."

Lucas chuckled. "Too bad we don't have someone to drive this one all over town to confuse this guy." He really wanted to make the man's brain explode.

"That isn't a bad idea. Let me make a few calls and then I'll be in." She got back in the SUV, and Lucas went to the door. He knocked, and Brianna opened it with a smile.

"Hello," he said brightly.

"Where's Rachel?" she asked. Clearly she had bonded with his security detail.

"She'll be back later, okay?"

Brianna nodded. "I drawed her a picture. I wanna be a kick-butt lady just like her." She closed the door behind them and turned toward the kitchen before yelling, "Uncle Daddy, Mr. Lucas is here."

"Why don't you take me to him?" He held out his hand, and she took it and led him into the kitchen. Matthew was already making batter, with Will carefully getting fruit ready. Gregory was whipping cream as fast as his little arms would let him. Even Carl had a job. He was putting out the silverware. Lucas wondered what someone was going to do with three spoons or two knives, but Carl was working so intently that Lucas didn't want to say anything.

"How can I help?" Lucas asked.

"Why don't you find something on television? Brianna is finished with her chores, and Carl is almost done."

"So am I," Gregory said as he intently continued whipping the cream in the bowl.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Lucas asked, staying out of the way in case Gregory lost control of the bowl.

"His class did a unit about eating balanced meals, and they had a class breakfast. Their teacher showed the class how to whip fresh cream." Matthew smiled as Gregory began to flag. "That's really good. Why don't you help Lucas find something to watch?" Matthew stood at the stove with a griddle on the burners. Will put the bowl of fruit on the table and fixed the silverware before heading into the other room.

"This looks really good," Lucas said softly as Matthew turned toward him. He drew closer, glanced at the doorway, and then tugged Matthew to him, kissing the man hard. Damn, this was everything… even better than what he remembered. And it felt so right, like Matthew was the other half of himself.

"Lucas, I…," Matthew whispered, and then kissed him again, still holding a spatula. Lucas pressed their bodies together, wanting to take Matthew down the damned hall and lick him all over. But that was out of the question. He gentled the kiss and pulled back just as Matthew snagged another quick kiss.

"I saw Uncle Daddy and Mr. Lucas kissing," Brianna announced in a whisper that could probably be heard for miles.

"Brianna," Matthew scolded with a sharp edge to his voice. She had the decency to lower her eyes and appear admonished. "You know how I feel about tattling." Brianna nodded and then went to play with the others. "Sometimes…." He turned back to the stove without finishing his thought.

"You just want a few minutes to yourself?" Lucas finished.

"Yeah. And I know today has been hard for them, but it has for me too. Your dad was good to us. I know you didn't get along, but he was a different person lately, I think."

Lucas pulled out one of the chairs. "Tell me about him." Lucas mainly remembered the arguments and butting heads with the most obstinate man on earth. He had been so wound up in his own beliefs that Lucas had had no choice but to get away from him. They hadn't spoken since he left, with only Aunt Rose letting him know about the family. "Did he know about you?" Lucas rolled his eyes at himself. "Of course he did." It had been his father finding him and Matthew together that had set off the fight that had torn the last shreds of their relationship apart.

"He did. But he also knew the kids, and when their parents died, he sent over things for them. Your dad was lonely, I know that, but he was good to the kids and then, by extension, to me." Matthew poured batter on the grill to make the first pancakes. "I think after a while the whole gay thing meant less to him than spending time with us."

"Did you ever talk about me?" Lucas asked.

"No. I tried a few times, but I was met with that brick-wall stare of his, so I let it go. Adam used to come over a few times a week. He'd have dinner with us and play with the kids. Each Friday night, he'd come over and shoo me out of the house so I could have some time with friends. He and the kids would watch movies. They loved their Grandpa Adam, and I grew to know him… in a way. We didn't talk about you and me being gay or what had happened between the two of you. Those subjects just didn't seem appropriate." Matthew flipped the pancakes and turned around.

Lucas had so many questions, but it was clear he wasn't going to get the answers he might have hoped for. "But I can tell you that a few months ago, I had a date… of sorts." He actually seemed to blush. "It didn't turn out to be much, but your dad looked after the kids."

"And he knew?" Lucas asked.

Matthew nodded. "Loneliness can change a person." He went back to his pancakes, and Rachel strode into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

She turned to Lucas. "I spoke with the office, and they are going to send someone to back me up. We have a job in Detroit that is ending, so Haven Marshall is going to drive up here with a new vehicle. He'll park it at the hotel, and then he'll use the one we have to try to see if he can lure out the person who's watching you."

Lucas glanced at Matthew, keeping his voice low. "What about Matthew and the kids? I'm worried that my being here will put them in the line of fire, so to speak."

"Haven is going to stay here in town as added protection. Judging by the pictures that have been posted, your stalker only seems interested in you. At least that's the focus of his images." She was all business and stood straight and tall. "I wish I had more answers than I do."

"The house next door is empty, and the drive goes around the side of the house. The old owners used to work on cars in the back. The SUV would be out of sight there."

Rachel nodded and left, returning just as Matthew set the plate of pancakes on the table and called the kids in. Brianna left a place for Rachel next to her, and they all sat down to eat. Matthew helped Carl make up his plate, with Will seated next to him, taking his first bite of pancakes with syrup. They shared a smile, and Will nodded. "See, I told you. Pancakes make it better."

"Is Grandpa Adam in heaven with Mommy and Daddy?" Gregory asked after he swallowed a huge bite of pancakes.

"Yes," Matthew answered, his voice rough. Lucas lightly patted his leg under the table, and Matthew took his hand. "They're all together and watching over all of you, like guardian angels."

"And Grandpa Adam doesn't hurt no more?" Gregory asked. He was the shyest of the kids, but there were times when his insight was astounding.

"That's right. So remember the good times you had with Grandpa Adam, like when he came over with ice cream and you all watched movies together."

"Or the time he took us to the arcade," Will interjected. "And he always had birthday presents for us, even when it wasn't our birthday." He took another bite of pancake as Lucas set down his fork. He hadn't known what to expect, but his father seemed to have had a whole life here with Matthew and the kids. A piece of Lucas wished he could have been part of it.

"It's okay to be sad," Will said next to him.

Lucas smiled slightly. "You're right." Lucas was sad, mostly for the lost time and the fact that he never got to spend time with the person his father seemed to have become. Maybe that was the saddest thing of all, the missed opportunity—on both their parts—to patch things up and get to know each other as adults.

"But pancakes help," Will said before taking another bite.

"Yes, they do." Lucas ate a little more, but his appetite had slipped away.

Matthew squeezed his hand and then released it. "I hear you're going to be a guest on the radio."

Lucas nodded. "Yes. I contacted them. Aunt Rose in involved with a benefit for the pediatrics wing at the hospital, and she asked if I'd attend. They're having trouble selling tickets."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Rachel interrupted. "Not the interview, but attending something so public. You'll be announcing where you'll be to everyone." Her gaze grew firm, and Lucas knew what she meant.

"I'm aware of that. But I can't stay in my hotel room all the time, and Aunt Rose needs me. I won't let her down. Besides, I can do some good this way. People will buy tickets if they know I'm going to be there."

"Because you're famous?" Will asked.

"Yes. Some people will want to meet me because of that." He shrugged and bumped Will's shoulder lightly. "Being famous isn't all that important. It's what you do and how you treat people that really counts."

"We'll need to go over a security plan," Rachel said, and Lucas nodded. He'd expect nothing less.

"I want to help."

"I think it's a good idea." Matthew took Lucas's hand. "Remember, this is your hometown. People here have fond memories of you, and they are proud that you came from here. This isn't like LA. Tell them what you want. Be honest with them."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"Let the townspeople know that you're here and that you're excited about it and looking forward to meeting people at the benefit. Tell them that someone is trying to get too close and invade your privacy, or something like that. Everyone will understand, and they'll be on the lookout for anyone doing things they shouldn't."

"Are you kidding?" Rachel asked.

"No," Matthew told her. "When the last of Lucas's movies showed here in town, people lined up for tickets. It ran for weeks. They had ‘hometown boy' on the marquee, and they do it for all of them."

"Huh," Lucas said. "I never knew any of that."

"If you want privacy, just tell people that you're here because your dad died. Most people will respect your wishes."

Lucas turned to Rachel. "That's a good idea." She didn't seem sold but didn't offer any criticism either. "It isn't like I'm going to advertise where I am or what I'm going to be doing, other than the benefit. Getting the town on my side, respecting my privacy, rather than trying to see where I am, can only help."

Rachel nodded. "That's true."

"Can I be on the radio too?" Will asked.

"Yeah, can we?" Brianna asked.

Lucas smiled and turned to Matthew. "If it's okay with Uncle Daddy. I'm fine with them coming along to make a guest appearance."

Matthew thought about it. "As long as you promise to be good and do what Lucas tells you." He seemed happy, and the kids would have a good time at the station. It wasn't like they were going to have a lot of time to speak, but they could say a few words. It would be nice, and it would help promote the benefit. "Now finish your pancakes and have some fruit. Then you can all go outside to play for a while." Matthew looked tired.

Lucas finished eating and helped clear the table. The kids all trooped outside, and Rachel excused herself to make phone calls.

"I'm sorry about the kids."

"Why?"

"You don't have to take them all to the radio station. I can make up something about the station not being big enough or something."

Lucas began loading the dishes in the dishwasher. He was probably doing it wrong, but he wanted to help. "It's great if they want to come." He put the last of the plates inside and finished loading the silverware and glasses. Then he closed the door and sat at the table. Rachel was still outside on the phone, so they were alone when Matthew brought over two cups of coffee.

"You don't have to do all this. I know you're just being nice…."

Lucas looked deep into the bluest eyes he had ever seen. "I'm not doing anything." He leaned forward. "I never forgot you. Over all these years and the distance."

"Come on. There were gorgeous guys all over the place. I remember that costar you were rumored to be dating. He was handsome."

Lucas shook his head. "Henry and I never dated… ever. We went out a few times because we both needed someone to hang out with, but that's all. Henry had a very definite type, and I'm not it." He grinned. "Let's just say that Henry likes them really big. And that's fine. He and I were never going to be anything other than friends. Just like the other people I know."

Matthew sipped his coffee. "Why?"

Lucas swallowed hard. "Because I met someone who stole my heart years ago, and he never gave it back." He gently stroked Matthew's cheek. "I have spent the last fifteen years comparing everyone to you."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "How can you?"

"I notice you don't have anyone in your life. I know you have the kids, but there were a lot of years when you didn't." Lucas gently traced Matthew's cheek, and Matthew's eyes drifted closed under the touch. That was the vision Lucas had spent years seeing in his mind, the way Matthew looked when he touched him. No one ever gazed at Lucas that same way. "I missed you like a limb. I wish I had brought you with me. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to come back for you."

"But you never did," Matthew whispered.

Lucas shook his head. "Because I kept wondering if it was all in my head. Years had passed, and I figured you must have moved on by then, so it was easier to stay away." Part of him knew that keeping in touch was a two-way street, but with his privacy and the number of people around him, it would have taken a miracle for any message from Matthew to reach him. The reality of the situation was that he had to be the one to initiate contact… and he hadn't.

"So you were alone all that time?"

Lucas shrugged. "I am rarely alone. Most of the time I'm surrounded by people, but yeah, I was alone in that I didn't have anyone in my life a lot of the time." He took a sip of coffee. "And I have to be honest with you, even if you had come with me, it's doubtful you and I would still be together. I spent years building my career. That meant months on the road and in the studio. There were weeks when I didn't go home. I spent the nights in a trailer on the set. Early on I shared with other actors, but as my fame grew, I got my own trailer, but by then I usually had someone like Rachel sleeping in the other room. Either that or my assistant did in case I needed something. My days start at three or four in the morning if heavy makeup is required. I can even sleep in the makeup chair if I have to. Then I work until ten or eleven, grab a few hours' sleep, and get back at it. I traveled all over the world and saw very little of it outside of hotels and location shoots."

"I see. So there wouldn't have been time for me," Matthew said.

"I don't know. If you were there, I'd like to think that I wouldn't have worked so hard. But then it's doubtful that I would have the career I have. Though that's both good and bad." The simple fact was that Lucas couldn't go back to change things. He had made his decisions, and right or wrong, good or bad, they were what they were. "I know things would have been different…."

"And if I had gone, then who knows what would have happened to the kids after Eden and Jack died. So I suppose things did work out, in a way."

"Yeah, they did." Lucas took Matthew's hand. "And maybe this is our second chance." He squeezed lightly. "I really want to try to find out. I'm tired of being alone, and I'm just exhausted with looking for someone when the one person I know I want is right here." God, it would be so easy if he could simply decide to stay and make a life here. But that would mean walking away from his career and everything he had built. And if he was honest, Lucas wasn't ready for that. Still, he figured he'd work through things when they happened.

"I'd like that too," Matthew said softly, getting up to look out the window. Lucas did the same, watching the kids playing some version of tag out on the back lawn. "But I don't always get what I want. I have the kids to think about, and what they want and need has to come first."

"Of course it does," Lucas said, even as he wondered if that was something he could live with. He was used to being the center of attention, and he took it for granted sometimes. Still, kids had to come first. They were the ones who needed care and looking after. "And I would never ask you for anything else." If he had issues with that, then it was his problem to work out, not Matthew's or the kids'.

"I know that." He sighed slightly. "Let's see what happens, okay? You can't make promises any more than I can." Lucas sat with Matthew, just holding his hand. It felt like something they would have done in high school, and yet it was tender and gentle.

Matthew's phone dinged with a message, and he looked at it, smiling. Then he unlocked the phone, their hands slipping apart. "I have a regular poker game tomorrow."

"Then you should go. Who stays with the kids?" Lucas asked, and Matthew's eyes filled with sadness. "It was Dad, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. He'd come over, watch movies with the kids, and put them to bed. I never stayed out too late, but it was my one night a week out." He answered the message, and his phone dinged again. "Geoff says to bring the kids." He bit his lower lip.

"Then go and have fun."

"Do you want to go with me? Geoff is great about guests, and I can let him know I'm bringing someone." He seemed so excited, and it had been a long time since Lucas had had a guys' night out.

"Are you sure it's okay?" he asked as Matthew texted and received his answer. "If you're sure, I'd love to come with you." He grinned as Rachel returned. Matthew poured her some coffee, and she sat down to let Lucas know what was happening.

THE FOLLOWINGevening, Rachel drove the new car to the address Matthew had given her. Haven was about town in the other car, and judging from what Rachel said about the social media buzz, the ruse seemed to be working. "Are you sure about this?" Rachel asked. "Do you want me to check the place out?"

"I don't think it's necessary. Did you scope them out online?" He knew she had, because she always did. "Then you know they have a horse-riding program for kids with disabilities and that Geoff and his partner are some of the most respected people in the area."

"Fine. But I'll stay close by just in case." She made the right turn onto Sugar Grove Road and then into the drive of a two-story farmhouse that had probably been there for nearly a century.

Lucas opened the door to get out. "I'll call if anything happens."

Rachel nodded as Lucas grabbed the bag of snacks. Matthew's van pulled into the drive, and he waited until Matthew and the kids joined him. If he was honest, Lucas had been a little nervous. Still, he pushed that away, projected confidence, and followed along with the others.

"Come on in." The front door opened.

"Uncle Geoff," Carl called as he raced forward to get a hug, with Brianna right behind. They all received them. "Where's Uncle Eli?"

"He's out in the barn making sure the horses are all set for the night. He'll be in soon. Adelle baked cookies for you if you want some." All four of them trooped through the house. "Hey, Matthew." They shared a hug as well, and Lucas damn near growled. He had no right to be jealous, but it welled up from inside anyway. "And this must be your guest," he added once they separated.

"Lucas Reardon," he said, extending his hand. "I hope I'm not crashing your party."

Geoff shook his hand. "I recognized you, and you're more than welcome. Please come on in. I have the table all set up." He led them into a side room. "Let me make introductions. This is Joey—he's one of our managers on the farm—my dad, Len; Tyler, a firefighter in town; and Alan, his partner." They each shook his hand with a smile.

"I love your movies," Joey said. "So does my husband. He says they're loud and have great music." He wrapped his arm around a slight man who came up next to him. "This is Robbie." He held out his hand a little to the right, and Lucas took it, realizing Robbie was blind.

"It's nice to meet you," Robbie said. "I'm going to finish up the monthly reports while you have your game." Joey bent down gently to kiss Robbie. "Come get me when you're done." He left the room, and Lucas took the chair he was offered. Matthew and Geoff sat as well.

"What about the kids?"

"They're with Adelle. They love her. She'll fill them with cookies, and she's got paper, crayons, and a movie to watch with them." Geoff shuffled the cards and then handed them to Joey, who shuffled as well and then dealt. The game was simple five-card draw, and for Lucas, it felt good to just be one of other guys. No one asked about movie stars or for stories of what happened on set. The guys talked about crop rotations and a fire call to the school that turned out to be two kids smoking in the bathroom and setting the trash can smoldering.

"How are the kids handling Adam's passing?" Len asked. He had gray hair and bright eyes. "I'll take two," he added, passing over his cards.

"As well as can be expected," Matthew answered quietly. "It reminds the older ones of losing their parents." He took three cards. Lucas took one when his turn came as everyone offered their support. It was good knowing that Matthew wasn't alone.

A slender man with slight gray streaks in his black hair came in and stood behind him, his hand on his shoulder. His eyes were amazing, and when Geoff turned to look at him, the look of adoration almost took Lucas's breath away. He wished he could study that look. "This is my husband, Eli."

"Uncle Eli, can we see the horses?" Brianna asked as she hurried up to him.

Eli caught her as she lunged for him and smiled warmly enough to heat the room. "Not tonight, honey. But you can come over sometime and you and your brothers can ride the ponies." She hugged him, and when Eli set her down, she hugged him again before running out of the room. Eli pulled up a chair and sat near Geoff.

"We can deal you in the next hand," Lucas offered.

Eli shook his head. "No, thank you." He touched Geoff's arm, and they both seemed a little happier. It was amazing how, without a word, their love shone like a beacon. "I don't play, not that there's ever much money at stake, but I can't bluff, and I never got the hang of cards anyway." Eli smiled and then gasped. "Hey, I know you. You're Superboy. Jake and I watched that together. It was good."

That seemed to break the ice, and the questions came quickly. Most of them Lucas had answered a million times. But Geoff's was the one that gave him pause. "What kind of life do you have with people always wanting a piece of you?"

"I love what I do, and being in films is an amazing job. But being famous—I hate that word sometimes—can make things difficult." He didn't want to sound like he was complaining.

"What would happen if someone came here to the house?" Joey asked.

"He'd make a call and the security that came with us would be here in less than a minute," Matthew answered before he could. "She's really nice, but believe me, no one wants to mess with her." He patted Lucas's knee. "Can we get back to the game? Lucas is here as our friend, not as a movie star." He shared a smile with Matthew, who squeezed his leg.

"How do you know each other?" Eli asked gently.

"Matthew and I were boyfriends in high school." Lucas took Matthew's hand. "He's the one I let get away." Lucas's belly fluttered as he held Matthew's hand.

"I always thought of you as the one I let get away." Matthew's expression was so soft, and he squeezed Lucas's hand before pulling away and clearing his throat. "I raise two dollars." Damn, Lucas loved how the color rose in Matthew's cheeks.

Lucas smiled at Matthew, squeezing his hand once again as the play thankfully continued. Lucas hadn't meant for so private a moment to have happened publicly. "Sorry," he whispered, and Matthew nodded.

"Uncle Daddy," Carl called as he hurried into the room. "There's someone in back." He hurried to Matthew and climbed onto his lap. Lucas called Rachel immediately to let her know.

"I'll check it out. Keep everyone inside," she said. "Lock all the doors until you hear from me. If you don't in ten minutes, call the police." She ended the call.

Adelle came in with the other kids, who clustered around Matthew. "Lock all the doors and stay away from the windows."

"I already locked up the back," Adelle said in her southern accent as Geoff hurried to the front. Then he pulled all the curtains and joined them at the table.

"I'm sorry," Lucas said softly. This sort of thing wouldn't be happening if it weren't for him.

"It's not your fault. That lies with whoever decided to wander onto my property." Geoff's eyes blazed.

"I'll get my rifle." Len leveraged himself up from the chair. He patted Geoff on the shoulder and went into the office. Lucas heard him talking to Robbie, and then he returned with his gun and sat back down, letting it rest on his lap. "If anyone tries to get in…."

A shot split the night. The kids jumped, and Carl began to cry as he held on to Matthew. Gregory came to Lucas, and Lucas lifted him onto his lap, holding Brianna's right hand while Matthew held the left. "I'm calling the police," Geoff said as Lucas's phone rang. He snatched it up.

"It's all right."

"What was the shot?"

"Some drunk idiot thought he was going to sneak into the barn to ride one of the horses, and he took a shot at me, then passed out. I have him here and will call the police. You might want to let the property owner know, because he's going to be the one to have to press charges. I have the situation under control." She was all business, and Lucas hung up and relayed the message.

"Were any of the horses hurt?" Eli asked, his eyes filled with concern.

"I don't think so, otherwise Rachel would have said something. Have you had troubles with drunks?"

Geoff rolled his eyes. "We get people wandering onto the property from time to time. With the college across the road, we sometimes get drunk students who decide a ride in the dark would be fun." He shook his head. "Three years ago we had a woman who decided that the horses needed to be free, and she opened every stall and pasture door. We spent hours locating all of the animals and getting them back." He patted Eli's hand. "It's going to be okay."

"I worry. What if someone wandered onto the property drunk while we're doing a therapy riding lesson?" He was clearly shaken up.

Lucas was relieved that this didn't seem to have anything to do with him and leaned back in his chair. Len left the room with his rifle, presumably to return it to the gun safe.

"Is the bad man gone?" Carl asked.

"He will be," Lucas told him in as gentle a tone as possible. "Rachel has him, and when the police get here, they will take him away."

Carl looked at Lucas with those huge blue eyes. "You promise?"

"I do. Rachel is really good, and she will keep the bad men away. I promise." He smiled, and Carl relaxed a little on Matthew's lap.

"Come on. Let's go see about another cookie," Adelle told them, and all four kids followed her. It seemed cookies trumped a strange man in the barn.

"I'm going to go check on things and meet the police. You all go on with the game, and I'll be back as soon as I can." Geoff left with Eli right behind him.

Joey gathered the cards and split the pot back to the players, but the mood to play seemed to have been broken. Robbie came out of the office, and Joey met him and took him gently into the living room. Len excused himself, probably to make a phone call. Matthew stayed at the table with Lucas.

"I'm glad Rachel was here."

"Me too. But I thought…." God, he didn't want to give voice to it. The past few days had been much more hectic than he had expected. Lucas had figured he'd go home, attend his father's funeral, and have a few quiet days. He should have realized that nothing in his life was so easy. "I'm sorry the kids got scared. That was the last thing I wanted."

"I know, and this wasn't your fault. In fact, having you here, and by extension Rachel, probably meant that the rest of us were a lot safer." He scooted his chair next to Lucas's. "Don't forget that I know you. Lucas, you always took responsibility for everything, even shit that was never your fault. This guy who followed you from California is a nutcase, and whatever he does is not your fault. It's his. I've tried to teach the kids that they are responsible for their actions, and I'm going to tell you the same thing. You aren't to blame for what a psycho does any more than Geoff is responsible for some drunk idiot wandering his farm."

Lucas leaned closer. "But what if this psycho hurts the kids trying to get to me?" He had spent the past couple of nights lying awake in his bed, wondering if he should just go back to California. Then at least the stalker would go with him. Matthew and the kids could go back to their lives, and….

"That's what Rachel and her people are for. You pay them to keep you safe." Matthew looked him deep in the eyes. "I can tell what you're thinking."

"And what's that?" Lucas asked, his skepticism showing.

"I know who you are. The real you, not the man on the screen. You're thinking that you should go home and everything will be okay. The stalker will follow you, and then the kids and I will be fine and our lives will be just like they were before." He quirked his lips slightly. "And maybe you're right and all those things would happen. Except then you'll be in California, and I'll be here, and some light I didn't know I was missing will be gone."

The ache in Matthew's eyes sent a stab through Lucas's belly. "I'm going to have to go back eventually," he said softly.

Matthew's eyes grew harder. "Don't you think I know that? Your life is there, and so is the career that you excel at. I can't expect you to stay here in this tourist-centered backwater. You have a gift that you have to share with the world. It's what you were born for." He was so genuine and caring. "But I was hoping for a little time with you. Is that too selfish? I love the kids, and I'd do anything for them. I'll spend the next decade and a half raising them. But right now, with you here, I need just a little time for me—for us."

Lucas understood what Matthew was saying, and he couldn't argue with him. "Let's see what happens."

Matthew sighed and leaned against his shoulder. Lucas put an arm around him, Matthew fitting perfectly against him the way no one else ever had.

"The police are here," Will said as he hurried back in. He didn't pause when he saw them, which Lucas took as a good sign. "Can we go see?"

"No. Stay in here. You can watch through the window, though." Matthew motioned Will over. "But you should look after Adelle and make sure she's okay."

Will stood straighter and nodded. Then he left the room, walking tall into the kitchen, taking the others with him.

"That was smooth."

"He wants to grow up so badly."

Lucas held him closer, just watching the play of the lights from the police cars on the ceiling. It wasn't too long before Geoff, Eli, and Rachel came in.

"They have him, and none of the horses were hurt," Eli said as he sat down on the sofa. "It's all okay."

Rachel nodded her agreement. "I'm going back outside now that the police are gone just in case someone else decides to pay a visit." She left, and the guys took their places at the table once more. They began playing, but the lighthearted mood of the evening was gone.

They played a few hands before Lucas's phone rang. Everyone tensed. "It's just my agent," Lucas said before getting up from the table to take the call.

"What the hell is happening there?" Leon Sanders snapped at him, setting Lucas's already jangled nerves on edge. "Why am I hearing about you being seen with some guy and his kids?"