Chapter 3

"YOU NEEDto be at your aunt's in half an hour," Rachel said as she popped her head into the bedroom of their suite.

Lucas groaned. "Okay. I'm getting up." He checked the time, did a quick calculation, and groaned again. He was used to getting up at five in the morning to be on set, but after all that travel, he was still worn out. It didn't help that the clock might read eight, but he hadn't gotten to sleep until well after two. "What does one wear to a funeral-planning session?" he asked.

"Something that doesn't make one look like an asshole," Rachel retorted, and Lucas glared at her. "Casual pants and a light shirt. The sun is out, and it's going to be hot and humid today. I'll have coffee and something light ready for you." She closed the door, and Lucas got up, stretched, and took a quick shower. He dressed in light tan pants and a plum shirt before leaving his room. Rachel had coffee, fruit, and an english muffin on the table for him. Lucas sat and ate mechanically, his mind not really processing things yet.

"There are some messages from Karen. I answered them already. But she says you need to call your agent today, and she sends you a hug and all the feel-better vibes she can muster. Her exact words." Rachel smiled.

"Karen is special." He finished the fruit and half the muffin before downing his coffee. He had had enough to eat, so he threw the rest away. "Let's go."

Lucas didn't quite know what to feel as he rode. His father was gone. Thankfully, they had made some sort of peace before he passed, but now Lucas wished they might have had more time.

"Regrets suck," Rachel said out of the blue. "Don't have any."

"Do you read minds too?" Lucas asked.

Rachel scoffed. "Your father died, and you hadn't talked to him for a long time. Regret sort of comes with the territory." She pulled to a stop at a light. "But it's useless, and it takes two to tango. Your father could have contacted you. He didn't, so stop putting this on yourself. You had a moment with your father, which is more than most others get. Carry that with you instead of the rest."

Lucas wanted to snap at her, at someone, but hell, she was right. Things were what they were, and he did get some closure. He had been there with his dad when he died, and there was nothing more he could have done. "Are you usually this talkative with your clients?"

"No. And if you want me to shut up, I will." She started forward. "But I know what it feels like to lose a parent and not be there. My mother passed two years ago when I was with Carson Meyers in Bangkok. There was no way I could get home in time." Her voice stayed steady, but Lucas heard the pain. "You have to look for the good things and let go of the rest or it will eat you alive."

He turned to Rachel. "Thanks." Most people wouldn't have bothered.

They turned into the funeral home parking lot. Aunt Rose was outside waiting. "I'm going to wait out here and watch things," Rachel said.

Lucas got out of the car and hugged his aunt. "Is it just us?"

Aunt Rose hugged him back before shaking her head. Then she led him inside to a room with sofas and comfortable chairs. Matthew and the kids sat together. Will got up and came right over to shake Lucas's his hand. Gregory sat next to Matthew, the shy boy looking like he wanted to disappear. Brianna came over to him, and when he knelt down, she hugged him.

"I'm sorry about your daddy," she said with tears running down her cheeks. He hugged her again, and she went right into his arms. Lucas sat down, and she climbed into his lap. Carl had apparently taken possession of Matthew's.

"And I'm sorry about your Grandpa Adam," he said, his throat aching. He looked over her to Matthew and then to his aunt.

"Matthew called last night and told me that the kids wanted to be part of the service." She cleared her throat. "They were a big part of his life the past few years."

"I see." Not that he had any objection, or even a right to make one.

The funeral director came in and sat down quietly. He spoke softly and explained what they would be doing. Everything had already been picked out and paid for. "It's just the order of service we need to discuss."

"The kids wanted to be part of it. Will asked if he could do one of the readings. He's very good. The others will go up with him." Matthew wiped his eyes, and Brianna pressed closer to Lucas. He closed his arms around her, not sure if he was comforting her or if just having her in his arms was keeping him grounded.

"What about you? As his son?" The funeral director turned to Lucas, who shook his head.

"This isn't about me. If I say something or get up front, it will be a distraction. Let Will and others take the lead on this." He sat back as Aunt Rose took over. She and Matthew figured out hymns and other things. Lucas largely sat still, listening, and was grateful when it was over. The funeral home would arrange for an announcement in the paper, and the memorial service would be in a few days. Dad had opted for cremation, so there wouldn't be a casket or visitation.

Once they were done, Matthew and the kids followed them out. Lucas had wondered about the good of bringing them to something like this, but Will and Gregory seemed to have ideas about how they wanted to say goodbye to Grandpa Adam, and as they left, they seemed to feel better, and so did Lucas.

Rachel stood near the car, waiting for him. "Do you need a ride home?" Lucas asked Matthew.

"Could you do that?" Aunt Rose asked.

"Of course. What about the van?"

"They said they'll be able to fix it today," Matthew answered. "Thank goodness." Now that they were outside with the sun shining, the funeral gloom seemed to have lifted, at least for now. They went through the process of getting the seats set back up in the SUV, and then everyone piled inside.

"What do you all have to do today?" Lucas asked and received silence in return.

"Maybe grocery shopping," Matthew finally said to a chorus of groans.

"Can we go to the park?" Gregory asked quietly.

"Swimming?" Brianna chimed in.

"Ice cream," Carl chirped.

Lucas turned around in his seat. "We could go out to the state park if you like. We don't have their suits with us, but the kids can run around."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rachel asked. "It's a very open space."

"It should be fine. There aren't going to be a bunch of reporters lined up out there waiting to surround me."

Rachel shook her head. "True, but it has been reported in the press that your father passed away and that you are in town for the funeral. People will be looking for you."

"Not out at the park, with everyone having a good time enjoying their vacation or their time off. They aren't going to be looking for me. I think it will be fine." And he was looking for some fresh air. Lucas had spent weeks in sound stages, on planes, and in that damned trailer. He needed a chance to be outside. Lucas gave Rachel directions, and they were off toward the state park.

At the entrance, Lucas paid the fee, and then Rachel drove all the way through to the parking lot at Hamlin Lake. "Do you want to walk over the dam?" Lucas asked, and the kids got all excited. "Rachel?"

"I'll be around," she answered.

"Matthew, is that okay?" he asked.

"Sure. Let's go."

They all headed off, the kids talking a mile a minute. Will and Gregory held hands with the others as they walked down the path, the roar of the water growing louder.

"You didn't have to do this," Matthew said. "We could have just gone home."

Carl and Brianna hurried back. "What is it?"

"Loud," Carl said, and Matthew picked him up. Lucas offered Brianna his hand, and she took it.

The older two watched the water cascade over the dam as Lucas and Matthew approached. "I can take her if you want," Matthew offered.

"She's good," Lucas said with a smile as they started over the top of the dam. Brianna vibrated with excitement as they made their way over to the other side. Then she hurried off toward her brothers. Matthew set Carl down, and he raced over the sand after her. "We used to come here."

"Yeah. Remember the time they brought our class on that school trip and we snuck off?" Matthew asked.

Lucas snickered. "How could I forget it? We climbed that dune, and when the teachers weren't looking, we disappeared into the woods. It was supposed to be an earth science class, but for you and me it was very much about biology." He turned to Matthew, whose eyes held a faraway look.

"Things were so simple back then." Their gazes trailed upward. "Sometimes I wish they were now as well." Matthew closed his eyes, face still turned toward the sky. Lucas watched him, his heart already warming. "You know, I hated you for a while."

"Uncle Daddy, do we have any toys?" Carl asked, tugging on Matthew's pant leg. Then he looked over at a small pavilion with things for sale.

"I tried to stop him," Will said. "Come on, Carl. We can make things with our hands."

Lucas pulled out his wallet and handed Will a couple of twenties. "Get whatever you guys want, okay? Something for each of you. Just be careful the money doesn't blow away."

Will put the bills in his pocket, and all four kids hurried over to the booth, with Carl calling for them to wait up.

"You didn't have to do that," Matthew said. "They would have been fine."

"I know." He sat on one of the concrete embankments. "But you remember what it was like growing up here. We didn't have anything. Dad worked his piece of land and he provided for us as best he could, but there were no luxuries. Certainly not money for pails and sand toys, other than the ones Mom found at garage sales."

Carl grinned as he walked back toward them carrying a net bag full of toys. "Look what I got." He held it up and plopped down in the sand a few feet away. Lucas helped him open the bag, and the others joined him in the sand.

Will handed Lucas back a twenty. "Thank you," he said shyly and then smiled.

"You're welcome."

"You all need to play nicely," Matthew said as the younger three settled in to play. Will wandered down the beach and sat on the concrete wall a little ways away, looking out over the water.

"You were saying?" Lucas said. "That you hated me…." God, he hoped there was more to be said than that.

"I did. You left, and I hated you for it just because I was stuck here and always would be. Then I started seeing you in movies. I was so jealous, and yet I went to every single one. I have them at home too. I used to save them at the parts you were in so I could see your face."

Lucas smiled and pulled out his wallet. He tugged out a picture from one of the pockets. "Remember this?" It was of the two of them. Lucas's mom had taken it. They stood on one of the bridges, with the water in the background. "It's been with me always."

Matthew's lips drew straight, and his eyes narrowed in a sort of "don't fuck with me" gaze. "I saw all the stories about the guys you dated."

Lucas laughed. "I went to awards shows and concerts with them; we didn't date." He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "We may have fucked once or twice, but I never dated anyone."

Matthew swallowed. "No one?"

Lucas shook his head.

"Why?"

Lucas shrugged.

"Why, Lucas?" he asked. "You had plenty of people who wanted you. The tabloids were full of rumors. I read tons of online articles about you and who you were interested in."

"Yeah. Maybe. But that stuff is mostly lies and speculation. I never went out with anyone more than three times, and I never dated anyone. I took people to awards dinners, charity events, things like that, but none of them ever saw the inside of my house. Because like I said, I don't date."

"But you could have," Matthew pressed.

Lucas found himself getting annoyed. He wished Matthew would back off, but then, Matthew had always been tenacious when he wanted something.

"There had to be a lot of people you worked with or ones who liked you."

"Can we just drop it?" Lucas asked. "I was busy, and everyone thinks making movies is easy. It isn't. I spend a lot of time away from home and a lot of weeks where I stay in my trailer because it's easier than going home at all. There isn't time for a relationship." He shrugged and hoped Matthew bought his explanation. Everything he said was true, but he couldn't tell Matthew the real reason. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. As much as Lucas wished he could simply hold Matthew in his arms, he couldn't. Matthew had a life here, one that involved four kids, and it was only a matter of time before Lucas had to return to Hollywood. The clock was ticking. This trip home was only a short interlude.

He slipped off the wall they had been sitting on and went to where the kids were digging a hole. "What are you making?" he asked.

"Big castle," Carl answered, pointing to a pile of sand. He dumped his bucketful on the top before industriously working to fill it again. "You help?" He handed Lucas the pail. He filled it and dumped more sand onto Carl's pile.

His phone rang, and Lucas considered ignoring it, but very few people had this number. He pulled it out of his pocket. "What is it, Rachel?"

"There are pictures of you playing in the sand with Carl all over Instagram. Like, they're blowing up."

"Okay. It happens." Lucas set down the pail and stood. Half a dozen people had their phones out, all pointed in his direction. "Yeah, I can see I'm the center of attention."

"I'm on my way," she said.

"No, it's fine. If we overreact, then it will be even worse. Just come and join us and make sure nothing else happens." He hung up and went back to playing in the sand.

"What is all that about?" Matthew asked, and Lucas explained. "I take it that happens a lot."

Lucas nodded. "Rachel is on her way, and she'll make sure everyone leaves us alone." He settled back on his knees. "The kids are having fun, and I don't want to stop them."

"Uncle Daddy, I need to go potty," Carl said.

"Can you watch the other three? I'll be right back." Matthew took Carl by the hand and led him down the path along the river toward the bathrooms. Lucas played with the others, helping them with their castles. Rachel strode across the sand, kicking up clouds as she went. Then she took up a position behind where Lucas and the kids were playing. He stifled a snicker as she stared down anyone who so much as held their phone up.

"Dang," Lucas told her. "Don't look at the water or it will freeze."

Brianna jumped up. "I wanna see that." She hurried toward the lake, and Lucas snatched her up and flew her back to the others.

"Sorry. It was just an expression," Lucas told her. "Rachel can't really freeze the water." Though if it were possible, she'd figure out a way to do it.

"Awww," Brianna said. She was adorable. All the kids were cool.

Matthew returned with Carl, and the kids settled down to play again. Lucas sat next to Matthew, enjoying the sun and a few hours without pressure.

"We should go," Rachel said after about half an hour alternating between watching the people nearby and checking her phone. "People are putting out where to find you, and there's someone making threats."

Matthew got right into action. "Okay, guys, let's get ready to go. Pick up your toys and put them back in the bag."

Rachel watched as Lucas and Matthew helped the kids. Then Matthew lifted Carl and took Gregory's hand. Rachel stayed with Will, and Lucas held Brianna's hand as a large group of people started approaching. They crossed the dam, and Rachel passed Will to him. "You all go right to the car." She handed Lucas the keys. "I'm going to stop them on the dam. Then I'll join you." She stayed at the entrance, blocking anyone from returning until they were well ahead.

"That was fun," Carl said with a grin.

"Were those bad people?" Brianna asked.

Lucas shook his head. "Not necessarily. But there were a lot of them, and sometimes people want to be close to someone famous, so it was safer if we left."

"It's a ‘just in case' thing," Will told her, and she seemed to accept it. Clearly, "just in case" things were something these kids had dealt with before.

Rachel strode over and met them at the SUV. They got in with a minimum of fuss, and Rachel got them out of the parking lot before anyone could follow too closely.

"Where to?" Rachel asked.

Lucas turned. "Do you and the kids have any place you need to be?" Matthew shook his head. "Do you all have bathing suits?" Matthew smiled and nodded. "Then let's go get them. The hotel has a water park of sorts, and we might as well put it to use." He loved the look of surprise in Matthew's eyes.

"Good idea," Rachel told him, as serious as a heart attack. Lucas turned toward her as she drove and tried to read her expression, which was all business. "One of the pictures was originally posted by Ruetoyou."

Lucas swallowed hard. "You mean the stalker from last year? I thought he was gone." His chest tightened.

"Apparently he went underground but has resurfaced, and he was in the crowd of people at the park." She lowered her voice. "The asshole followed you home."

Lucas gasped and turned toward the back seat, his breath coming quickly.

"Remember, the guy never did anything other than try to get close to you all the time. He has an obsession with you and wants to get your attention. Just like before, though, he isn't necessarily dangerous." She stayed calm, and that sank into Lucas. "I have your back."

Lucas nodded, but all he could think about was Matthew and the kids. Was he putting them in danger?

"Stop catastrophizing." She smiled at him. "This is part of what you have me here for."

"But we don't know what he looks like." The guy was like a ghost, and that's what scared him most of all.