Chapter 6

We don't talkas we sit down to eat dinner. Jimmy is still watching me as if he's trying to prepare for my next move.

When I take my first bite of the fish, I'm surprised enough to say without thinking, "This is good."

He glances up from his plate. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Grandpa used to cook fish we caught, but they were never this good. What did you cook it with?"

"Just in a pan with salt and butter."

"Ah. The butter. That's probably what makes the difference. We never had any butter. Plus these are bigger fish than we ever caught."

"They used to stock the creek that feeds our pond with trout a couple of times a year. That's how they ended up here. We'd fish this pond before Impact but not a whole lot, so some of these fish've been here a while. Worked out well in the first couple of years when food was scarce and not much was growing."

I was so isolated with Grandpa that I don't actually know details on the conditions in the years after Impact. But I have picked up that there were at least a few very difficult years when a lot of the animals died and the layer of dust and debris in the atmosphere cooled temperatures so much that food crops were limited. Grandpa had stocked up so much food that we barely had to leave the house in those first few years.

"Yeah. That must have helped a lot. Do you think the fish will ever run out?"

Jimmy shrugs. "Not lookin' like it. They established themselves real good here."

"That's good."

The brief conversation is enough to break most of the tension. We have a few more casual interactions as we eat and then go about our normal routines afterward with me cleaning up and Jimmy going out to prepare the chickens and pigs for the night.

I go outside to pull the underwear, socks, and T-shirts off the clothesline since they're dry. But the jeans, sweatshirts, and towels will have to stay overnight. Hopefully they'll be okay tomorrow. I'm finishing folding the clean clothes and putting them in drawers as Jimmy comes back in with a waft of cold evening air. He hikes up the old sweats he changed into so I could wash his jeans and looks at me for a long minute.

I have absolutely no idea what he's thinking. A week isn't nearly long enough to learn all his different silent expressions.

"We should turn in early tonight," he mutters at last.

"That sounds good to me." It does. Despite the short break Jimmy made me take, I'm still exhausted.

Jimmy always lets me use the outhouse first, and then I quickly undress and wash up with soap and water in the bedroom basin while he's outside.

I put on a pair of clean socks since I'm feeling chilly and then leave my nightgown and bathrobe in easy reach. I'm climbing into bed naked except the socks when Jimmy strides into the room.

He stops short when he sees me. "Thought you were still mad at me."

"Why would you think that?"

He doesn't answer with words, but his eyebrows go way up.

"I know I fell apart, but that was my issue, not yours. I'm sorry about it."

His mouth is turned down, and he's drawn his forehead into little lines. "You were real tired. It was fine." He pauses for a minute, his eyes moving up and down over my breasts and hips like he can't help but sneak a peek.

"Okay. Good." He's not acting annoyed or angry with me, so maybe I didn't ruin everything.

But he's still not moving. "So you wanna have sex?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

"Because you're tired and were upset earlier."

"I'm not upset now." A sharp pang slices through my chest. "Are you upset? Do you not want to be with me tonight?" The idea is so sudden and so distressing that I start crawling to the side of the bed so I can put on my gown.

"Course I want to be with you," he grumbles, sounding decidedly crabby. "I'm already hard as a rock from lookin' at you naked. But I thought you'd…"

I'm torn between confusion and relief. I'm still poised on my hands and knees on the bed since I paused in the middle of crawling toward the edge. "So you do want to?"

"Yeah." His voice is thicker. Lower. "I wanna. You're really not mad at me?"

"No. I'm not mad." I straighten until I'm upright on my knees. My hair is loose and is falling forward over my shoulders and breasts.

Jimmy obviously likes the looks of me. He can't keep his eyes on my face.

His reaction gives me an inexplicable thrill of power and possessiveness both.

He takes a couple of strides toward the bed before he jerks to a stop. "I better wash up first. You don't want me all over you smellin' like this."

That makes me giggle. I get settled back in my place in bed, pushing down the covers but still not lying down, while he makes rushed, sloppy work of washing his hands, face, and body after he pulls off his clothes. He turns toward me but then remembers to brush his teeth as well.

Then finally he's coming to bed completely naked. He's not even wearing socks like me.

He wasn't lying earlier. He's fully erect already. His cock bounces slightly with his motion. I like the way a trail of his dark body hair leads down to it.

When he gets into bed, I move over the way I always do to start with a blow job, but he grunts, "Uh-uh." He eases me down on my back and keeps me there with the weight of his body.

I blink up at him. "I was going to?—"

"I know what you were gonna do, and I appreciate it. But you don't gotta always do me first. I told you before, I'm not a selfish asshole in bed."

"I didn't think you were a selfish asshole. I thought you liked it." My eyes are very wide, and there's a tremble in my lips. It's very disturbing to think he might not have liked the way I've been taking care of him.

He huffs a couple of times in amusement. "I more than like it. But I like other things too. And it don't always gotta be me first."

"Oh." I frown as I mentally work through what he's telling me. It doesn't sound as bad as I thought. His eyes are warm. Kind of protective. And I couldn't have been wrong about the way he responded to me sucking him off this week.

He did like it, so he must be telling me the truth.

I smile up at him. "Okay. How did you want to start then?"

"I wanna start with you."

Those words and the husky timbre of them make me gulp. I'm almost shaking in excitement as he kisses the pulse in my neck. Then my shoulder. Then he stares at my chest for several seconds before he takes one of my nipples in his mouth.

He gives them focused attention for a long time. So long that eventually I'm squirming and making silly, pleading sounds as arousal builds and builds without relief.

"Jimmy," I gasp at last, arching my back up off the bed and clutching fistfuls of the fitted sheet.

He lifts his head to check my face. "Whatcha need?"

"I need… I need…" With a little whimper, I make a flailing motion beneath him.

"What's that, girlie?" His expression has changed. Gotten hot and amused both.

I huff at him. "You know what I need."

"But maybe I want you to tell me anyway."

"I need to come," I burst out. "And you're just being mean."

"Not bein' mean." He lowers his head and gives my right nipple a big lick. "Just takin' care of you. Sometimes it's good when you gotta wait."

"And sometimes it's torture!" I grab his thick hair with both hands. I'm not conscious of doing so, but I must have tugged his head lower because his mouth ends up on my belly.

He kisses my belly button, then a line below it until he's nuzzling my groin.

I suck in a loud breath and roll my hips, parting my thighs as his nuzzling gets more insistent.

"There you go, girlie," he murmurs. "Open up for me. Let me in."

My head is spinning, and my pussy is throbbing intensely with a degree of arousal I never believed I was capable of. He grabs my knees and pulls my legs even wider apart, then hooks my legs over his shoulders and uses the position to lift my bottom right up off the bed.

I squeal at the sudden move and clutch at his head.

He laughs against my pussy. Gives me a hard, wet lick. "Fuck, I love how you smell," he mumbles, nosing me open and teasing me with his tongue.

It feels so good, and I'm so off-balance in my vulnerable position that I'm letting out loud, choppy sounds as he goes at it.

He plays for a while and seems to enjoy the way I'm completely out of control. Occasionally he mumbles out hot encouragement against my pussy. "That's right." "Don't fight it." "You're almost there." "You're doin' so good."

Then he finally focuses on my clit and gives it suck after hard suck.

I come apart completely, convulsing and crying out shamelessly as the waves of pleasure slam into me.

He lowers me back to the bed as I twitch and whimper through the last of the spasms. He edges one hand between my legs to rub at my still-pulsing flesh as he pulls me into the embrace of his other arm.

I hold on to him, gasping against his chest. It takes me a long time to recover enough to think clearly.

"You did real good," he murmurs at last. "Never seen you let go that much."

"I didn't… I didn't know I could feel like that."

He rubs his beard against my hair. "Well, you can."

"I guess so."

He's still massaging my pussy. It's intense and relieving. I rock my hips against his hand.

He chuckles. "Feels like you're ready for more."

"No, I don't need more. I just had the best orgasm of my life, and I still haven't done you yet."

"Then we can do somethin' together. Why don't you turn over on your hands and knees, and we can try it that way?"

I stiffen since we've never done that position before. It seems like it might be embarrassing with my butt exposed like that.

He pulls out his hand out from between my thighs and gives my hip a little pat. "What's the matter? Don't like it like that?"

"I… I don't know." I don't want to disappoint him since he evidently wants it like this, so I pull away from him, turn over, and lift myself up on my hands and knees. I look over at him. "Like this?"

He's staring at me hotly. "Yeah. Just like that. We can try it, and if you don't like it, we don't gotta do it this way again."

"Okay." I'm kind of excited now. Mostly because of that particular expression on his face. Like he's about to devour me whole. The air is cool against my naked skin, and my pussy is still throbby from before.

He straightens and moves behind me, holding himself on his knees and adjusting my legs until I'm in the position he wants me.

I'm trembling with anticipation and an underlying current of nerves as he pulls apart my ass cheeks, fingers me to find my pussy, and then lines his cock up at my entrance.

He pushes in, and I let out a long, low mewling sound as he does.

He feels different like this. Bigger. Fuller. My body sways back and forth as I adjust to the penetration.

He's gasping out a lot of breathy exclamations. "Yes. So good. Fuck, you're so hot and tight and sweet."

When he's buried himself inside me, we're still for a minute, both of us getting used to the feelings.

"How you feelin', Chloe?" he asks at last.

"G-good. Weird but good."

That makes him give another one of those huffs of laughter. "Guess I'll take it. Let me know if it's not feelin' good. You gotta tell me."

"I will."

He starts rocking his hips, thrusting into me with short, steady pushes. After a minute, my inner muscles relax more, softening and clinging to the thick substance of him inside me.

"That's right, girlie," he murmurs, holding my ass with one of his hands and reaching over to gather up my hair with his other. "Now you're takin' it good."

I close my eyes, overwhelmed by a wave of hot pleasure at his words. I pant and start pushing back against his thrusts.

"That's the way. You like it like this, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," I reply in almost a grunt. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh." I bite my lip when I keep saying the same thing like a refrain.

His speed accelerates. His pumping gets harder.

The rougher motion stimulates so many nerve endings that I cry out. I can't seem to help it. It feels like the top might blow off my head.

The bed is rocking, and our bodies make an embarrassing slapping sound every time he pumps into me. And I like it so much. I need it. I push back against him even harder, wanting to feel even more.

He's grunting like an animal now, and I'm making rhythmic sobbing sounds as the pleasure intensifies, coils down tight and hard. I'm so wet I can feel moisture leaking out from where we're joined and trailing down my inner thigh.

"Jimmy!" I cry out his name helplessly as my need suddenly gets frantic.

"You're all right, girlie," he rasps, letting go of my hair so he can rub my back as he keeps fucking me from behind. "You're doin' so good. Just let it come. You're gonna come real hard. You're almost there. So just let it come."

My sobs intensify with the sensations. I need it so much but can't quite get there.

Then he gives me a sudden, unexpected swat on one of my ass cheeks, and the sharp sting pushes me over the edge.

I can't keep quiet. I can't keep still. I come hard and loud and sloppy as I'm overwhelmed with the rush of intense feeling.

He chokes on a loud exclamation as he pushes into me a few last times. Then he yanks himself out of me and holds his cock against my bottom as he comes too.

We stay like that for a minute, jerking with the lingering spasms of release. Until Jimmy loses his balance and falls back onto the mattress, taking me with him.

It takes a few more minutes until we gather our breath and untangle our bodies. He feels warm and softer than normal as he finally settles on his pillow and gathers me into his arms so I'm sprawled on top of him.

"Oh my God," I manage to say.

He shakes with breathy laughter. "Yeah. We did pretty good."

"I didn't think I would like it that way."

"Lots of stuff we don't know we'll like until we try."

"I guess so." I nestle against him. I like that his belly isn't as hard as the rest of him. I scoot lower on his body. "We'll have to try it again."

"Definitely." He strokes my messy hair. "How you feelin' now?"

"I'm feeling pretty worn out. But good."

"Good. Me too."

I should get up. It feels like I need to pee again, and I prefer to sleep in my nightgown. I also need to clean up my back from his semen and between my legs. But I can't move yet. I don't want to.

So I don't.

Not yet.

* * *

Maybe five minutes have passed when Jimmy clears his throat.

One thing I have learned in the past week is that he usually does that when he has something on his mind but isn't sure how to say it.

I lift my head so I can see his face. When I catch his eye, I give him a little smile, making sure he knows I'm happy to hear anything he wants to talk about.

His expression softens, but he's still a little mumbly when he asks, "So other than your grandpa, who else did you have around? When you lived in The Wild, I mean."

I'm surprised by the question, but I let my head rest on his chest again. "It was just the two of us. I think I told you my parents died before Impact. We had some extended family, but we weren't all that close, and I have no idea what happened to them."

"I mean around. I know you lived with your grandpa, but who else was around?"

I'm still not exactly sure what he's asking or why. "There wasn't anyone. That part of the forest was always really isolated. He never had any neighbors before Impact, and that never changed. I mean, there are still some folks scattered around in old buildings and caves, but there aren't any towns or even any communities like this one. It was just the two of us."

"Since you were fourteen?"

"Yes." I rub my cheek against his skin, slightly uncomfortable although I'm not sure why.

There's a frown in his voice. "What about friends for you? Boyfriends? Anyone?"

It's several long seconds before I admit in a whisper, "I never had any."

He lifts my head with one of his big hands so he can see me. "Never?"

"I had friends in school. Back before. I wasn't the queen bee or anything, but I was popular enough. But after Impact, there was nobody but my grandpa."

"So have you ever…?" He trails off before he finishes the question.

I'm embarrassed for no good reason. "Have I what?"

He clears his throat. "Have you had sex before? Before me, I mean."

"Oh." I gently pull my chin away from his hand so I can lie back down where it feels safer. "No. I haven't."

He's silent except for his heavy breathing.

I don't like the reaction I can sense in his body. "It's not a big deal. I just never had the opportunity."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I… I don't know. I just didn't. Would it have made a difference?"

"I don't know." He shifts beneath me. "Maybe. I mighta wanted to know. Fuck, did I hurt you or anythin'? I wasn't even gentle. Shit, you musta been real uncomfortable."

"You didn't hurt me! You were careful with me and made sure I enjoyed it too. Nothing was bad about it or even uncomfortable. I didn't think it would matter."

"Why wouldn't it matter? I assumed you'd done it before with the way you were talkin' and actin'. I wouldn't've— Shit! So you just powered through it 'cause you thought that's what I'd want?"

"No!" I'm so disturbed by his tone that I sit up in bed. "No! It wasn't like that at all. I wanted to have sex with you, and you made it good for me. The fact that I was a virgin was irrelevant."

"It was?" He's staring up at me, tense and bewildered.

"Yes. Why would it matter?"

"I dunno," he mumbles. "Just seems like it does. So you really did like it?"

"Yes! I liked it then, and I like it even better now."

He's finally relaxing again. "You're not lyin' to me to make me feel better?"

I'm surprised by a little giggle. "No. I'm not lying."

"Okay." He strokes my hair and gently eases me back down so my cheek is resting on his chest again. "Next time just tell me instead of keeping things a secret."

"Okay. Next time I'm a virgin, I'll tell you."

His body shakes slightly. Then a low chuckle sounds in his throat. Then he's laughing for real.

His amusement is infectious. I giggle a little bit too.

"Seriously," he finally says. "It makes me feel bad when it seems like you're doing things you don't want just for me. I don't want that, Chloe."

He means it. I can tell. And it tells me something I need to know about him.

My first and main priority might be to make him happy, but he's not going to be happy unless he knows I'm okay and willing too.

He told me the truth from the beginning. He's not some sort of selfish asshole. He genuinely wants to take care of me the way I want to take care of him.

It makes things safer. Better.

It makes my heart do little flutters, and a clench forms beneath my belly.

It makes me want to be close to him.

"What about you?" I only find the courage to ask the question because he's proven himself to care about me.

"What about me?"

"When was your first time?"

"Oh." He clears his throat in that familiar, stalling way. "I was sixteen. With Mary. She was my high school girlfriend."

I wonder if that means he's only ever had sex with me and her. They could have been separated at some point. It's possible he cheated on her, although he doesn't seem the type. And it's been years since she died. He could have had sex with someone else since then.

That feels like too personal a question for our relationship, so instead, I ask, "What was she like?"

I wouldn't have asked that question earlier today. He's not a talkative man, and I've been trying not to pry into his private thoughts and history. But he asked about me, so maybe I'm allowed to ask about him.

I want to know more. A lot more.

"Oh," he mutters. "She was… I loved her."

I wait, but he doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to.

I understand.

He's a good man, so he doesn't want to use me or take advantage of me, but there are clear boundaries around our relationship, and those boundaries will remain.

He wants us to share this life and help each other out. He wants me to do the inside work that's more than he can handle by himself. He wants to fuck me—no doubt about that. And he wants me to be safe and content in our practical arrangement. And he wants me to be honest and not keep secrets from him.

But he doesn't want me to be close to him.

He's not going to open up to me.

His mother told me before I moved here that he got closed off after Impact, and it's clear to me now that he's likely to stay that way.

That's okay.

It's a little disappointing since something inside me wants to get close to him, but I don't have to indulge that soft little instinct.

I can be practical too.

And I can be happy with everything Jimmy has given me that I never would have gotten without him.

With all that finally resolved in my mind, I'm finally able to go to sleep.