6. Holden

CHAPTER SIX

HOLDEN

I couldn't believe I let Sarah talk me into this. Then again, she hadn't exactly had to twist my arm. The completely unhelpful voice in my head mocked me. Just the thought of spending time with him… if I was honest, I didn't think I could have denied myself.

Avoiding him had been more difficult than I ever imagined. It felt like every time I turned around, he was right there—bright-eyed, eager, and completely unaware of the chaos he stirred up inside me.

He was perfect. My mate was so handsome and kind... and you only know this secondhand because you're avoiding him like a coward.

And of course, my family wasn't making it any easier. Why couldn't they understand that I was trying to protect him? Protect us both, really.

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit.

Other people had mated humans, and it had turned out just fine.

Yeah, well, I wasn't most people. And I'm not risking my mate.

Our mate.

Ugh! I can't believe I'm arguing with my bear. What does the beast know?

More than you, apparently.

The second Mylo stepped into the stables, I knew he was there. His scent hit me like a wave—fresh, warm, and unmistakable. My bear rumbled in my chest, a low sound of contentment I had to fight to suppress. Bears weren't exactly subtle when they were happy, and mine was downright giddy to be in the same space as our mate.

I glanced over to see Mylo standing near the entrance, looking nervous as hell. His eyes were wide, like he wasn't sure whether to be excited or terrified about what came next. He's never ridden before. This is a huge mistake, I thought, but I couldn't exactly back out now. Not with Sarah's threat to take him herself if I didn't.

That thought alone nearly sent my bear into a frenzy. The mountains weren't safe for someone like him. Humans didn't have the situational awareness that shifters did, and all I could think about was the dozen ways this could go wrong.

But I wasn't about to let Sarah put him on a horse without me.

Yeah, that's the reason!

It was. It really was...

Great. So now I'm babysitting my mate, I grumbled inwardly, but deep down, I knew the truth: keeping him safe was my priority. Always would be.

Yeah, and getting to spend time with him without it being your idea is awfully convenient. Coward.

Another word I'd gotten used to hearing from my bear... which, let's face it, just meant myself since Mylo arrived.

I led him over to a gentle white mare named Snowdrop, one of the calmest horses we had on the ranch. If anyone could handle my mates' nervous energy, it would be her. I could feel his eyes on me as I stroked Snowdrop's nose, introducing him to her slowly.

"This is Snowdrop," I said, keeping my voice low and steady. "She's good for first-timers. Just be calm around her, and she'll take care of you."

My mom would be so ashamed. Apparently, I'd also forgotten how to be a decent human... no ‘hi,' no ‘hello.' Way to be an ass, Holden.

Mylo blinked up at me, clearly trying to hide his nerves. "I'll do my best," he muttered, but his hand was shaking slightly as he reached out to touch the horse.

"Easy," I said, stepping closer to him. His scent filled my lungs, and it took everything I had not to react. Being this close to him was... damn it, it was harder than I thought. Too close.

But also not close enough...

I placed a hand on Mylo's shoulder, feeling the tension in his muscles. He was nervous, no doubt, but he trusted me. Even if he didn't realize it, he was relying on me to guide him through this.

And I would rather die than let any harm come to him.

"Here," I murmured, sliding my hands under his arms to lift him onto the saddle. My fingers brushed his sides as I helped him up, and the simple contact sent a jolt through me. I gritted my teeth and focused on the task at hand.

And I cursed my brain for the flood of unhelpful images it decided were appropriate to send me right now.

Breathe in... Shit! No—hold your breath. Drawing more of his intoxicating scent in was the last thing I needed.

Once he was seated, I adjusted the stirrups and checked the reins. Snowdrop stood still as a statue, patient as ever, but my bear was not. He was practically bouncing, thrilled to have Mylo this close.

I stepped back, running a hand through my hair, trying to get some distance between us before I did something stupid—like pull him off that horse and wrap my arms around him and kiss him within an inch of his life.

I snorted at the thought. Yeah, and get a punch for my trouble, most likely. Just because I knew he was my mate didn't mean anything to him... I was practically a stranger.

And why did that thought hurt my heart?

Again, whose fault is it?

"You good?" I asked, my voice rougher than I meant for it to be.

Mylo nodded, but I could see the hesitation in his eyes. "Yeah... I think so. What about you?" He cracked a nervous smile, probably trying to lighten the mood.

I huffed out a breath and shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I'm not the one about to ride a horse for the first time."

He let out a nervous laugh. "Fair point."

I glanced at him—his shoulders tense, his grip on the reins a little too tight. My bear growled, wanting to calm him, but I kept my voice brisk, trying not to make a big deal of it. "You'll be fine," I said, keeping it matter-of-fact. "Snowdrop's steady, and I'll be right here. Just focus on staying balanced, and she'll do the rest."

He looked up at me, still uncertain, but he nodded. "Right... okay."

I fought the urge to reach out, to place a hand on his shoulder and tell him everything would be okay. Instead, I stepped back and cleared my throat. "Let's get started."

I moved beside him, walking Snowdrop forward a few steps, making sure Mylo's balance was steady. Each time I reached out to adjust the reins or guide his hands, our fingers brushed, and it felt like sparks shooting up my arm. I didn't know if this was punishment or reward—spending time with him, touching him —but keeping myself in check the whole time was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

My bear huffed impatiently, wanting more than just these brief moments of contact. He wanted Mylo closer, wanted him in my arms, safe where he belonged. But I couldn't give in to that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Because as much as I wanted him, as much as my bear craved him, I knew better. I'd made a promise to myself a long time ago— no humans. Not after James. And Mylo... well, Mylo was human. He was everything I couldn't have, and every second I spent near him was just a reminder of how cruel the universe could be.

But at least if he was riding with me, I could keep him safe—even if that meant keeping him at arm's length.

"Ready to go?" I asked, giving Snowdrop's reins a gentle tug to lead her forward.

He nodded, though I could still see the nerves swirling in his eyes. But he trusted me. Even when he didn't know it, he trusted me with his safety.

If only he knew the truth. That look in his eyes would vanish—just like it had in James'. Replaced by one I never wanted to see in my mate's… fear.

Walking alongside Mylo should've been calming. The rhythmic gait of the horses, the open air, the quiet sounds of nature all around—it had the makings of something peaceful. But inside, I was anything but calm.

I was battling everything in me just being this close to him, and I wasn't even sure which side I wanted to win.

He was catching on quickly, which was impressive. For someone who'd never ridden before, he seemed to be getting comfortable fast. I kept an eye on him, watching the way his body started to move with the horse instead of against it, how the tension in his shoulders eased. And every time he smiled or laughed at something small, that knot in my chest tightened a little more.

He was just so perfect... and seeing that joy on his face made me realize I never wanted to see anything else there.

It's because he's your mate, my bear reminded me, a content rumble stirring in my chest. I tried to shove the thought aside, focusing on keeping Snowdrop at a steady pace.

We made light conversation, mostly about how beautiful it was out here—because, hell, there wasn't much else to say. I wanted to ask him more, ask him a thousand things, but every time I opened my mouth, I clamped it shut again. I couldn't risk getting closer to him than I already was.

"How do you get to work out here every day? It's... honestly amazing," Mylo said, his voice bright as he took in the scenery around us.

I forced a small smile, keeping my eyes forward. "Yeah, it's a perk of the job."

Both my bear and I preened at the fact that our mate loved this land—a land that was just as much a part of me as my bear. It felt amazing.

That was safe enough to say, wasn't it? Nothing too revealing. I didn't let my eyes linger on him too long because every time I did, I saw something more. Something that scared the hell out of me.

I could feel my bear stirring inside, wanting to be closer, urging me to say something real, something that would let him know who he really was to me. But I couldn't do it. I had to keep the distance. Mylo had no idea what it would mean if he knew the truth, and I wasn't about to let him find out.

You mean you don't want to find out what he'll do if he knows the truth. I really should just get "COWARD" tattooed on my forehead in all caps.

Suddenly, he turned toward me, his smile wider than it had been all day. "I think I'm getting the hang of this."

That smile—it was like a punch to the gut. My stomach twisted, but I forced myself to stay composed. "You're doing great."

"How about we go for a nice trot?" I asked, keeping my tone casual. Maybe it was reckless or selfish, but I wasn't ready for this to be over yet.

Mylo glanced at me, holding my gaze for a second, searching for something—but I wasn't sure what. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

I released the breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding at his agreement and led Mylo toward the stable, where the horses were grazing lazily in the corral, the familiar scent of hay and pine filling the air. "Do you want to stay on Snowdrop while I get my horse ready?" I asked, keeping my tone light.

Mylo nodded, holding my gaze for a second, like I was a puzzle he was trying to piece together. What, I wasn't sure. I gave him a brief smile and turned away to get my own horse ready, but I couldn't help glancing back at him every few moments. He was still there, sitting tall on Snowdrop, looking like he was starting to get comfortable in the saddle.

I grabbed the reins for Titan, my trusted stallion, who stood tall and muscular, a perfect match for my size. His sleek black coat gleamed in the afternoon light, muscles rippling under his skin as I ran a hand down his flank. Titan let out a soft huff, and I smiled, giving him a firm but affectionate pat. "You ready, boy?" I murmured under my breath. "We've got company today."

Titan had been with me for years—strong, steady, and loyal. I trusted him with everything. He was more than just a horse; he was a partner. I leaned in closer, lowering my voice so only he could hear. "You see him over there?" I asked softly, glancing toward Mylo. "That's my mate."

Titan's ears flicked back, as if he were listening, and I chuckled under my breath. "Yeah, I know. It's a mess. But we'll figure it out, right?"

For a second, I regretted telling the stable hands to give us space today. It wasn't practical; I knew that. But selfishly, I wanted this time alone with Mylo, even if it made things harder for me. Titan snorted as if in agreement, and I gave him another pat, feeling a little more grounded. "Let's do this," I said quietly, guiding him over to where Mylo was waiting.

As I saddled up, I kept my eyes on him, watching how easily he was handling Snowdrop now. He'd picked things up faster than I expected. Despite the nerves buzzing under my skin, a small swell of pride bubbled up. He was catching on quickly, and I couldn't help but admire that.

Once I was settled, I led Titan toward him, the powerful horse moving beneath me like an extension of myself. "Ready?"

He nodded, and we rode out at a slow pace, the rhythmic sound of hooves against the earth filling the air between us. The land stretched out in front of us, the rolling hills framed by the Blue Ridge Mountains, their peaks looming in the distance.

"See that over there?" I pointed toward a dense forested area. "That's one of the trails we use for the more experienced riders. It's beautiful but tricky—lots of steep climbs and sharp turns."

Mylo nodded, his eyes wide with interest. "It's gorgeous. I can't believe this is where you get to work."

I shrugged, keeping my voice even. "Perks of the job." I pointed toward a meadow in the distance, where wildflowers dotted the landscape. "That's a great spot in the spring. It's covered in blooms—looks like something right out of a postcard."

He smiled, and I had to look away. It was too much. Too bright. Too... everything. I forced myself to focus back on the task at hand.

"How about we try going a little faster?" I suggested after a while. My bear was restless; the instinct to keep him safe was warring with the need to let him enjoy himself. "You're doing great so far."

Mylo smiled and nodded, and I nudged Snowdrop into a trot, making sure to keep pace with him. I followed suit, watching as he started to relax into it, a smile creeping across his face as he grew more confident.

"See?" I said, my voice lighter than it had been all day. "You're getting the hang of it."

"Yeah, I think I am," Mylo laughed, his voice filled with something close to joy. I hadn't heard him laugh like that before, and a part of me softened. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

But then, in a split second, everything shifted.

Without warning, Mylo gave his horse a little too much rein and took off in a direction I hadn't expected—toward the Piedmont Mountains.

My stomach dropped. My heart leapt into my throat as I watched him ride toward the wolves' territory. Shit. He has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea where he's going.

"Mylo!" I shouted, panic clawing at my chest as I kicked Titan into gear and chased after him.

He was laughing— laughing —like this was all a game, like he wasn't heading straight for danger. My pulse pounded in my ears as the landscape shifted beneath us, and I pushed Titan harder, trying to close the distance.

He doesn't know. He doesn't know what's out there. My bear growled inside me, a mix of terror and fury as I watched Mylo riding ahead, carefree. My mind raced with every terrible possibility. The wolves won't hesitate if they find him. And I wasn't about to let that happen. What if he goes over a cliff or something?

Fuck. I shouldn't have brought him out here.

When I finally caught up to him, adrenaline surging through me, I reached out and grabbed his reins, yanking them hard enough to bring his horse to an abrupt stop.

Mylo's laughter faded instantly, confusion replacing it as he looked up at me. His face dropped when he saw my expression.

"What the hell are you doing?" I barked, louder than I intended, my voice rough and raw. "You're a novice! You can't just take off like that! What if you lost control of the horse? You don't know the terrain, Mylo!"

His eyes widened in shock, the color draining from his face. I could feel the panic in my voice, the fear boiling under the surface. I wasn't just angry—I was terrified.

"I-I'm sorry," Mylo stammered, his earlier confidence crumbling under the weight of my outburst. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal. It was fun, I thought I?—"

Why did I feel like I'd just kicked a puppy?

Doesn't matter if he's upset as long as he's safe.

"This is dangerous!" I snapped, cutting him off. "Do you even know where you were heading?"

He blinked, still looking shell-shocked. "No, I... I was just riding. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal," I said through gritted teeth, "is that you were heading into territory that isn't ours. And it's dangerous. Don't ever go in this direction again. Got it?"

I could see the stubborn look starting to settle on his face, that flicker of defiance I'd seen once or twice before. He wasn't just going to let this go. But I couldn't tell him everything—not without opening up a whole new set of complications I wasn't ready for. Not yet.

"Why is it dangerous?" he asked, his voice firmer than before, the confusion giving way to curiosity. "What's out there?"

"That's not for you to worry about," I said, trying to steady my voice, trying to keep the panic from bleeding into every word. "Just... trust me on this. Stay out of this area."

He narrowed his eyes at me, clearly not satisfied with my vague explanation. I could see the questions brewing behind his gaze, and I knew I was in for a fight.

"Okay," he said after a long pause, but fuck it if I didn't know this was far from over. "But I don't get it. You're making it sound like?—"

"It's an order, Mylo," I said, my voice dropping lower, more forceful than before. I even let a little alpha push come through—not enough to force his will, but enough for him to understand that this was serious. "Don't go in this direction again. Ever."

His lips pressed into a thin line, and he gave me a small, reluctant nod. But that look on his face? I knew it all too well. He wasn't done with this. He had questions, and they weren't going to go away just because I said so.

But right now, the only thing that mattered was that he was safe. He had no idea what kind of danger he'd just avoided. And I wasn't about to let him find out.

No one touches him. Not the wolves, not anyone.

But as I looked at Mylo—the stubborn set of his jaw—I realized maybe I'd opened a can of worms that hadn't existed before.