10. Holden

CHAPTER TEN

HOLDEN

I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken up in this good a mood.

One of those moods that made you feel like you were on top of the world. And I probably looked crazy to everyone with just how much I was smiling. I wasn't sure my facial muscles—at least the ones needed to smile—had gotten this much of a workout in a very long time.

It was new for me because I never woke up smiling. Even my bear, who had been cussing me out the last few weeks, seemed to be humming contentedly. There was a sense of lightness that hadn't been there in... too long for me to even remember. I could freely admit that it was a nice change.

I even found myself whistling on my way into the office, which definitely made a few of the guys I passed do a double-take. I couldn't say I blamed them, though—even I knew it was probably weird to see me so cheerful. But today, I didn't care. Today was a good—no, a great —day.

No particular reason.

Okay, there was one, and his name was Mylo.

Not that anything happened—I'd made sure of that. But last night, carrying him back to his room after the bourbon tasting, hearing the things he said even in his drunken— especially in his drunken and slurred—honesty... it did something to me. It cracked something open, like the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this could work.

Maybe he could be mine.

Maybe when you tell him the truth, he won't run screaming.

"Holden."

Noah's voice stopped me, and I turned to find him with my little niece in a stroller.

"You're awfully chipper this morning," he said, his tone filled with curiosity.

I paused, a grin tugging at my lips. "It's a good day, Noah. Nothing wrong with that."

Noah's brows lifted, and he studied me for a second before a knowing smile appeared on his lips. "Alright, if you say so. Just don't scare anyone with all that cheerfulness. Might give someone a heart attack."

"I'd call you an asshole, but my beautiful niece is right here," I said.

He snorted. "I think you just did."

"But I didn't say it for her to hear," I pointed out.

"Baby steps," Noah replied, his eyes dancing, and I had a feeling half my family would be getting messages about this in the near future.

I bent over and kissed my niece, saying loud enough for Noah to hear, "Tell your daddy to mind his business and not go gossiping about your Uncle Holden."

Noah snorted again. "Fat chance. Have you met your family?"

I chuckled and waved him off, continuing my walk to the office.

Yeah, maybe it was weird. Maybe I was weird. Nothing had even happened with my mate, but hearing he wanted me... it felt damn good.

Maybe you should let him know you feel the same way.

Maybe I would.

Once I got to my desk, I powered through the paperwork I'd been putting off—numbers, inventory projections, new employee onboarding schedules. I even tackled the budget recalculations for the upcoming season, which I usually despised. Today, though, I had a rhythm going, and even the most annoying, most tedious tasks didn't seem to faze me.

I didn't notice my brother come in until he was already leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, giving me an amused look.

"You're humming," West said. The sound of his voice had me looking up to find him wearing a smile that said he was about to annoy me.

I blinked. Shit, he was right. I'd been humming. Who was I?

"Just in a good mood, I guess," I said, shrugging it off, though I could feel the grin still tugging at the corners of my mouth.

West stepped fully into the office, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Okay, spill. What's got you so happy? Did you win the lottery or something? Or better yet, your mate ?"

"Nope," I said, turning my attention back to my laptop, pretending to be busy. Of course, I knew he wouldn't let it go.

"Uh-huh."

I sighed, knowing it could never be that easy with West.

"You know I could just go ask everyone else until I get the answer, right?" he said, his voice laced with that teasing persistence only siblings could get away with. " Maybe I'll start with Mylo. "

I groaned, leaning back in my chair and meeting his gaze. "Fine. If you must know, I had a... conversation with him last night."

"Him who? Mylo? You mean you had a conversation with Mylo, your mate ?"

"Why couldn't I have been born an only child?" I muttered.

"Oh, please, you'd miss us," West said. "Who else would help you get that stick out of your ass?"

"I guess you don't want to hear what happened." I shrugged and went back to looking at my laptop.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "So you were saying something about a conversation, huh? And here I thought you were avoiding the poor guy like the plague."

I ignored him, scrolling through my laptop, pretending to be busy even though I wasn't doing anything.

"You know I won't leave until you tell me everything," West said. "Or…" He drew out the word, and I had to look at him. "I could go ask Mylo what happened. I bet he's a much better storyteller than you are."

"Fine," I sighed. "And I was," I admitted, rubbing a hand over my jaw. "Avoiding him… and I still am... maybe. But he's... different."

"Duh," West said, rolling his eyes. "Of course he's different. He's your mate. But different how?"

He finally walked further into the office, pulled up a chair, and sat across from me, clearly settling in for the details.

I hesitated, trying to find the right words. And maybe I did need to talk this out. "He's... kind. Genuine. And he's got this way about him that makes me want to protect him, you know? But also, he's strong in his own way. And last night, he said some things... things that made me think maybe there's a chance for us."

West nodded slowly, his eyes softening. "Sounds like you're into him. Like, really into him."

"Duh, he's my mate, " I said, repeating his words back to him.

West snorted. "Fair enough."

I huffed out a breath, a smile tugging at my lips. "Yeah, I like him. I don't know everything, but from the little I do, I like him a lot."

"So, what's the plan then?" West asked, leaning forward, his expression turning serious. "Are you gonna tell him? About... you know, the shifter thing?"

I winced, my mood dimming slightly at the thought. "I don't know. It's complicated. He's human, West. And telling him... it's a lot. What if he freaks out? What if he looks at me the way James did? And it ends the way that did."

West's expression softened, and he reached out, squeezing my hand on the desk. "Holden, Mylo's not James. And from what you've told me, it sounds like he's into you too. I think he deserves to know. Adalbern wouldn't send a mate that would?—"

"Run screaming," I chimed in.

West's face was serious. "You deserve to be happy," he said simply.

I swallowed, the weight of his words settling in my chest. I knew he was right—intellectually, I knew that. But the fear still gnawed at me, like a living thing threatening to swallow me whole. It was always there, whispering that I was risking everything if I let Mylo in.

I would rather my mate be whole, happy, and alive... than the alternative.

What about with someone else?

My bear and I growled at the thought.

I was definitely not that good a person.

"Whatever that thought was should be all the motivation you need to tell him," West said, amusement dripping from his voice.

"Maybe," I said finally, my voice low. "But not yet. I want to win him over first, you know? Show him that we could work, that we could be something real. And maybe... maybe feel him out a bit, see how he'd react if he found out about shifters."

West nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Alright, big brother. Just don't take too long. You never know how much time you have."

I nodded, his words hitting a little too close to home. "Yeah. Yeah. I hear you."

He nodded once before standing up. "Alright, I'll leave you to your paperwork. But seriously, Holden... don't let fear hold you back. It won't happen this time. You have to believe that."

His words echoed in my head as I watched him leave the office. I knew I shouldn't let fear lead. I sighed, but it was fucking easier said than done. It wasn't even about him finding out about shifters or exposing our secret—it was about him running in fear, possibly hurting himself... because all he could see me as was a monster.

But for Mylo... maybe it was worth trying. Maybe he was worth everything.

I sighed. I just needed to figure out how to actually do it. There really ought to be a manual—How to Tell Your Human Mate You're a Shifter Without Killing Him... or Making Him Run Screaming: The Comprehensive Guide.

I tried to focus back on work, but the numbers blurred in front of me for a second.

My bear rumbled softly, an agreement settling between us. We both wanted Mylo. And maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to make it work.

As the day went on, I found myself thinking more and more about him. About the way his eyes had lit up when I'd invited him to the bourbon tasting, the way he'd leaned into me when I'd helped him back to his room. He was everything I never knew I wanted—bright, kind, and so damn brave. And I couldn't help but want to be the one who made him happy, who kept him safe.

Also, just thinking about what he'd said—about me ravaging him during his heat—I needed to count past ten before my cock went from attention to at ease.

By the time I finished up in the office for the day, the sun was already dipping low on the horizon, casting a golden glow over the resort. I made my way to the kitchen, hoping to catch Mylo before he left for the day. I needed to see him, to apologize for making myself scarce during the bourbon tasting. I'd been a coward, and he deserved better.

I headed over to his cabin, rehearsing my apology every step of the way. I knocked twice, but there was nothing—no movement, just quiet. Great. He wasn't home. I knew he wasn't working today; I'd made sure Noah told him he had the day off, but apparently, he wasn't here either.

Maybe it's a sign.