Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Ella

After the incident with Kayla, the visit to the cemetery, and my encounter with Noah, I came home with the need to relax. I took the little motorized boat out on the water, where I cast a line and settled in for the rest of the afternoon. Grandma and Grandpa had loved to fish, and they'd insisted that Greg and I join them. Greg had enjoyed it way more than me, so this was a tribute to him.

Before long, the sun was going down in the sky, and I returned home to sit on the back porch swing with the same blanket from that morning. The heater was on, and in between sips of herbal tea, I sucked in a long breath. It had been a hard day, yet in some ways it had given me some closure.

I thought of Noah Armstrong and the way he'd looked when I'd told him I would never forgive him. It had played out exactly the same eight years ago. Did I feel guilty about that? Yeah. Guilty and sad and annoyed because he was so … sincere and handsome. In that way, the years had been kind to him.

His life wouldn't have been easy, of course. There was so much pain behind those eyes, and part of me wanted to pull him into me and soothe it, appeal to it, talk about it. Let our pain mix. But I couldn't. Both of us deserved to be in pain. Greg was gone; his life had been taken from him. I blinked back tears. Neither I nor Noah deserved anything but pain.

I thought about our teenage years. He had taken me to our first dance when we were fifteen. Staring into those eyes, I'd been a goner. Then he'd kissed me after prom.

I wiped away a treacherous tear and dismissed those memories. I couldn't handle this day anymore. I had to quit remembering.

A knock sounded at the front door. The noise startled me; I wasn't expecting anyone. Cautiously, I turned off the heater and slipped inside, shutting the back door behind me. I hurried through the house and looked out the peephole.

Then I relaxed. It was Mercy.

She grinned at me when I pulled the door open. Holding up takeout burgers from Carter's Burger Place and homemade cookies, she said, "I brought food, so you can't turn me away."

I took a step back and allowed myself to be hugged. "Thank you."

Mercy pulled back with a winning smile. "I thought you might want company. I'm starving. I've been intermittent fasting all day and I need one of these cookies."

I laughed and went to the cupboards, getting out two glasses and filling them with water. I grabbed some napkins and headed to the table. We pulled out the food and began eating.

"This is heavenly," I said, feeling soothed for the first time today.

"It is," she said through a mouthful. She took a fry and dipped it in water.

I grinned. "You still do that?"

She popped it into her mouth. "Of course. It's the only decent way to eat fries. Get them all nice and bloated."

I laughed. Mercy's presence was an immense comfort.

Mercy took a sip of her water. "How was today?"

Normally, I would've only shrugged, but Mercy was the only person I really had. She knew most things about me. Ever since I'd come back here and we'd started working together, we'd caught up quickly. Mercy was also divorced. She had a little girl named Megan. I assumed Megan was with Mercy's parents tonight. They were always doting on her; it was so cute.

"Well, I was threatened by Kayla that I should never touch Noah again," I said. "I guess it sent him into some kind of tizzy."

Mercy's mouth hung open. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "Maybe not a tizzy, but apparently it messed with his head. Then I saw him at Greg's grave." I recapped our exchange. "You're not going to like it, but I told him I couldn't forgive him. Because I can't."

Mercy's expression turned sad. She put a hand on my shoulder. "I get it. You love your brother, and it's hard. Look, you have to forgive him, and you have to forgive yourself too."

"Please stop."

Mercy sighed. "Today at church, Pastor Jones talked about forgiveness. One of his points was that when we forgive each other, we free ourselves. Because when we hold on to something that has hurt us, it's like taking poison again and again. The first poison should kill us, but not forgiving someone is actually like taking the poison again and again." She waved a hand. "I didn't lose a brother, but I lost a husband in our divorce. There were things that both of us did wrong. I have to pray that I can have forgiveness for him. Not just for myself, but for Megan. Because I want Megan to have a relationship with her father. He's a good father to her. At least, he tries."

I was stunned that she was telling me this. She hadn't said the greatest things about her ex, so it made a big difference. I knew he had hurt her by having an affair. It was very generous for her to say that he was a good father. "I don't know what to say."

Mercy sighed and took a chocolate chip cookie. "Don't say anything. Just eat a cookie. It makes everything better." She flashed another smile. "I figure I can eat three of these because I saved calories from the other meals today."

I had never followed any sort of diet, but food had never been a major concern for me. I shrugged and took a cookie. "You make the best cookies. Thank you."

Both of us ate our cookies and sat in comfortable silence.

I looked around the house and thought about how grateful I was to be back in Refuge Falls. "It does feel like home here. California never felt like home."

She rolled her eyes. "That's because you were with city people. Wyoming people are much better."

I laughed.

"People from California don't want to come to Wyoming because it's windy and cold. I don't like the weather either, but it does keep people away."

I smiled a little sadly. That sounded like something Grandma would say.

Something thudded in the distance. It sounded like it came from the back part of the house.

I jumped to my feet. Had something fallen over? Maybe a raccoon had gotten into the attic; it had happened once when I was younger.

Mercy followed me down the hallway. I opened the door to Grandma's room. I hadn't made any changes in here, so everything should look the same … except a window was open and the curtains were fluttering in the wind.

A strange feeling washed over me. It felt like someone had been here. "Mercy?"

She moved to the window and looked out. "I can't see anyone. It's getting dark."

"Shut the window, please." I shivered and hugged myself.

She did as I asked and turned to me. "You want to call the police?"

I shook my head, then thought back to my earlier exchange with Brian. "Brian sent me a threatening text today. Although he wouldn't think it was threatening. He said if I didn't come back, he would come for me."

Mercy's mouth hung open. "What?"

My eyes, which had been roaming around the room, caught something else out of place. One of Grandma's drawers had been opened, revealing a box of letters that had clearly been rifled through. "That's weird," I murmured, sorting through the letters. Grandma had always shown me these whenever she'd been nostalgic for Grandpa—the two of them had regularly written to each other during World War II.

Before I could say anything, Mercy had her phone out and she was typing on it. "I'm texting Damon and McCrae."

I looked up, stuffing the letters back into the box. "Nope." I shut the drawer.

The phone made a swoop noise, and Mercy shrugged. "Already did it."

"This was nothing," I told her, my temper rising.

Mercy pointed at me. "Someone broke into your house and got something out of a drawer. And your ex said that he was going to come."

I threw my hands up. "Why did you text the Armstrongs?"

"Because Damon and McCrae have always been our friends. One is the police chief and the other is a cop. I didn't think you'd want me to dial 911 and get the fire truck and the ambulance out here too. And it's past dinner on a Sunday night."

"I don't need any Armstrongs in my life." After seeing their brother up close and personal today, I was feeling twitchy.

Ten minutes later, a white Jeep pulled up. We were waiting on the wraparound porch that went around the whole cabin. When Damon and McCrae got out, I moved toward them. "Sorry, Mercy didn't have to text you. It was nothing."

Mercy shook her head. "It was not nothing. Someone opened the window in her grandmother's old room and got into her dresser drawer. And her ex threatened her today that he would be coming."

I winced. What she said was technically true, but it was likely a coincidence. "You are blowing it out of proportion."

"Am I? I know you don't want everyone to know, but these are the cops." To the two men, she said, "Her ex used to push her and punched her two different times."

Now I was ticked. "You don't have a right to tell my secrets to people."

Mercy looked unflappable, just like I'd seen her in the hospital whenever we'd had to deal with a tragedy. "You live here now. You need people who know your story."

I lived here. Noah was just visiting here. I had to keep that in mind.

Damon gave me a sympathetic look. "We are officers of the law. Let us investigate, please."

I folded my arms and planted my feet, refusing to budge.

McCrae moved forward, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, do you remember when you'd come over and we would spend time drawing cartoons together? You were so good. No one could rival you."

I softened. He was right. On Saturday mornings, I had often sat with McCrae and drew. I had loved it.

He nodded to the house. "I know you've been through a lot, Ella, but we are still your town family."

Town family.

I hesitated a moment longer, then reluctantly moved out of the way. "Fine."

Mercy took over. She led them into the house, explaining where we'd heard the noise, and then they disappeared down the hallway. I remained outside. I didn't want to relive it. I really didn't want to believe that my ex was here and breaking into my house.

With a shiver, I hugged myself. The quiet of this place suddenly felt oppressive.

After a couple of minutes, they exited my house with Mercy in tow.

Damon spoke to me. "From what it sounds like, there was a break-in. Do you know what whoever did this would be looking for?"

"My ex keeps saying he needs our marriage certificate. But he has it. I … I don't know if he would do this. He's more of the ‘knock on the door' type." I looked around, fearful of the darkness growing around us. I didn't like feeling this exposed.

"Do you want to file a restraining order on him?" Damon asked.

That felt extreme. "No. I mean, I don't think this was him."

"You need some cameras up," McCrae said, doing a cursory look around the area. "I could tell Noah. He has his private security company, and he could outfit your house easy enough while he's here this week."

"No," I said quickly, my heart racing. "I don't want that. Please … don't say anything to him about all of this."

McCrae nodded. "It's all confidential."

Mercy put her arm around my shoulders.

I leaned into her. "Thank you for coming, but I think we're good."

"Don't hesitate to call," Damon said. "In fact, let me get your number so I can follow up."

I gave my number to Damon, telling myself this was just small-town stuff. I didn't need to feel weird about the fact that since Noah had blown into town, everything was starting to be more and more about the Armstrongs.

Things would get back to normal tomorrow. I was scheduled for a regular shift at the hospital.

"Night." Damon moved to the Jeep.

"Thank you. Good night."

We watched the Jeep drive off into the night. Then Mercy cleared her throat. "I'm going to head home, but if you want my advice—and I know you don't—you need to forgive yourself so you can forgive Noah."

I rolled my eyes. "No more forgiveness talk, okay? Plus, I'm not happy you told them about my ex."

She hesitated, then shrugged. "Too bad. You're not an island, Ella. You can't go on acting like you're all alone with your memories in this town. You have to move forward."

I didn't know what to say.

She pulled me into a hug and held me tight. "I'm sorry if you felt I betrayed your confidence, but … you have to trust people again. McCrae and Damon are worthy of trust. You know that." She pulled back.

I was…annoyed, but she was probably right. If someone had broken in, which I still wasn't one hundred percent they had, I did need the cops to know the truth. "Fine."

"I love you," she said softly.

I sighed and hugged her again, quick this time. "Love you, too. Thanks for coming. See you tomorrow."

The next morning, I awoke late and dragged myself into the hospital. Even though I'd been off work yesterday, I didn't have the same refreshed feeling that I usually felt after a day off. Probably because it hadn't been relaxing.

I'd had dreams about me and Noah from prom during senior year. I'd relived the thrill of hearing him whisper that we would get married when he was done with his six weeks at boot camp. My memory brought back the old feelings of wanting to be with him, of pressing my body closer to his on the dance floor, of how I'd loved to smell his Versace cologne that he'd bought at the mall weeks earlier upon my recommendation.

When my phone alarm clock had gone off, I'd thrown myself back into the bed, wishing my life was different. I missed the way I'd felt so loved all those years ago. Before … everything.

Now, I clocked in at the nurses' table. Mercy was already there with her arms folded, looking like she had been waiting for me.

"Good morning," I said, uncertain of what she was thinking.

Mercy cocked an eyebrow. "Are you going to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "There is no need to talk about anything except our patients today. What have you got?"

Mercy shrugged and thrust an iPad at me. "Mr. Henry in room two. You'll want to check on him every hour."

Mr. Henry was a regular. He was eighty years old, and between his diabetes and an infection in his leg, he was in poor health. He would have to stay at the hospital every so often until he recovered.

"Mostly, it's been slow. I don't think you have a very busy day today."

I nodded absently, going over Mr. Henry's chart. That was the thing about transitioning from a city hospital to a small-town hospital: shifts were slower.

Mercy leaned into me, her eyes staring into my soul. "Is there anything you want to tell me about the person you don't want to talk about?"

"You know everything," I reminded her, rolling my eyes. "Nothing to tell."

Looking down the hall, Mercy let out a loud laugh. "Well, I guess you don't have to talk about him. Because he's walking in right now."

Shocked, I turned and saw Noah and two small children rushing toward us. In fact, Noah had the younger one scooped up in his arms.

"What is going on?" I asked, concern and professionalism taking over. My feelings could wait.

Noah looked out of sorts. "I think Trent broke his arm. His dad's going to kill me."

Mercy took charge and led all of us to a room. She seated Trent on the table, then told me to look at him while she found the doctor. She asked Noah to go with her to provide insurance information.

Noah stared at me. "I don't want to leave them. Damon is coming, but I don't want to leave them."

The smaller child clung to him. "Don't leave me."

Noah leaned down and brushed his lips across the child's forehead. "It's okay. I won't leave you. We'll just wait for your dad."

I was touched by his gentleness. Despite myself, I had to wonder what he would've been like with our children. I hesitated, then found myself moving forward. "It's okay. I'm your dad's friend. We've known each other since we were kids. I'll take care of you." Gently, I patted the small child's shoulder. "It's okay."

I was only doing this because it was a child. Not because of Noah. Not because these children were important to him. My heart hammered, and I felt my knees go weak just being in his presence. Which was stupid, because I'd spent so much time trying to get him out of my head. Yet my dreams from the night before came back to me, reminding me of being in his arms.

Noah's forest-green eyes bored into me. I knew he had so many questions for me, so much of his own history he was working through. "I have known Ella for years," he told the little boy. "You can trust her."

Mercy cleared her throat. "Noah, this might seem annoying, but we need all the insurance information before we can provide treatment. I hate the system, but this is how it is."

Noah hesitated, turning back to the small child. "Can I leave you with my friend? I'll be back soon. The doctor will be coming in, and we need to make sure we have all the paperwork done."

I rubbed the small child's back. "Let me hold you."

The boy looked up at me with trust in his eyes. His good arm reached around me as he cuddled in close.

Noah held my gaze and then smiled. "I'll be right back."

They left me alone with the two boys. These were Damon's sons. I'd heard something about his wife taking off on him. The thought made my heart hurt, but I had to focus on Trent right now. "What happened?"

Tears trickled down his face. "I fell."

Carefully, I started tapping his arm, moving down the shoulder and into the elbow area, where he flinched. "Where did you fall from?" I asked him.

Trent looked at his brother, who stepped over and took his hand. "We were in the tree house when he fell," he explained. He wouldn't look at me.

Judging by the exchange between these two brothers, the older brother was probably responsible for this. I eyed him. "What is your name?"

"Jason."

"Can you tell me what happened to your brother? How did he fall?"

Jason didn't speak for a minute. His gaze was fixed on the floor.

"I just jumped," Trent said insistently. "That's all."

"Is that what happened?" I gave Jason a pointed look.

He shrugged. "Yeah."

Damon burst in. "Trent." He hurried to his son and gently hugged him.

I was touched again by the affection the Armstrong brothers had for their children. It must have been hard for Damon when his wife left him. Small towns came with small-town gossip constantly reporting on things that happened to other people.

Dr. Hoffman strode in with Noah trailing behind him, and the boys recounted the story of jumping out of the tree house. The whole time, I looked back and forth between Trent and Jason, growing surer about the truth. In some way, this was Jason's fault. Trent was covering for him.

The doctor and Mercy led Damon and Trent down the hallway to do an X-ray. That left me with Noah and Jason. Noah held his nephew close to him and stared at me. That familiar intensity flared up between us. I was torn between my role as a nurse and my need to deal with our history.

Of course, I had to pick the role of nurse right now. "What can I get for you guys?" I wished that I had insisted on going to help with the X-ray. This was probably Mercy's idea.

Noah looked uneasy. "I guess you weren't expecting to see me today."

I nodded. "You're the last person I expected to see today."

Jason frowned. "Do you have any candy?"

"No candy right now," Noah said sternly.

"I'd say yes to candy right now," I cut in. "We have a vending machine, and I bet he's hungry. I bet you are too."

Noah looked unsure for a second, then moved toward me. "Let's all get candy, then. Because I don't think we can get breakfast yet, and we all are hungry."

We bustled together down the hallway. Noah held Jason's hand, and Jason stayed right next to him, still looking guilty.

Once we reached the vending machine, Noah pulled out a card and asked Jason what he, Trent, and their dad would want. He asked me too, but I waved him off. It was such a normal interaction, and that made everything feel weirder.

Noah punched in his orders and retrieved the snacks as they fell. The last thing was a bag of Sun Chips, which he handed over to me.

I didn't know what to say. "Thank you." That was all I could manage. He'd remembered.

We all walked back toward the room. "That's what you still like, right?" Noah asked.

I felt awkward with the chip bag crinkling in my hands, but I didn't want to make a scene in front of Jason. In fact, I needed to tell Noah my suspicions. "Uh, yeah. Noah, can we talk?"

We paused right outside the room. Noah gave me a wary look, like he wasn't sure what kind of conversation I had in mind.

I shook my head. "Not about … anything."

Little Jason stared up at me.

Noah frowned, and it seemed like he realized what I meant. "Uh. Yeah. Jason, here, take my phone. Why don't you find the show we were watching last night together before all of this?"

"Got it." Jason took the phone and tapped away on it like a pro, disappearing into the room.

It was just me and Noah now, and my heart skipped as I noted the crow's feet around his eyes. He was bulkier than the eighteen-year-old boy I remembered from that summer after graduation. I didn't know much about him, but I did know he'd served in the military and now had his own private security company.

"What's up?" he asked.

My mind blitzed between my dreams last night and this version of him. I forced myself to focus. "Uh, I think Jason and Trent might be hiding something. When I asked how Trent broke his arm, they kept looking at each other and … it just felt like they weren't telling me everything."

Noah looked confused. "Really? Hmm. Dang." He ran his hand through his hair; like Kayla's, it was almost too blond to be natural. Man, I loved that hair. "I guess it could be because I was sleeping on the job when it happened."

That took me by surprise, but then I realized why. "You were at the tree house on the property?"

He nodded, and a slow grin crossed his face. "It brought back a lot of memories. I'm not going to lie."

The memories were coming back to me too: the games I'd played with him, Greg, all of his brothers, and Mercy. My heart picked up speed. "Wow."

He wiped a hand over his face. "And it's all my fault. They told me to watch these guys, and I fell asleep. The next thing I know, both of them were yelling."

I wanted to pull Jason back out here and grill him, but we didn't have a chance.

"Hey, Ella Bella." Clint strode purposefully down the hall toward me, a bag of fast food clutched in his hand.

Noah visibly stiffened, puffing his chest out a bit.

I turned and forced a smile at Clint. "Hey. I thought you were coming Tuesday for your appointment?"

Clint looked between me and Noah. "Is this why you said you wouldn't go out with me?"

He was starting to annoy me. Was he still insisting on this? I moved toward him and gestured toward the front of the building. "Are you here to get your stitches out? Let's get you checked in." That was another problem with a small-town hospital: we didn't have as many nurses on shift.

Clint didn't move. "I'm not here to get my stitches out. I thought I'd bring you something to eat this morning. I heard about your break-in last night."

"Break-in?" Noah asked, his eyes widening.

I stiffened and glared at Clint. "How would you hear about my break-in?"

Clint looked caught. "I guess I wasn't supposed to hear about it. I was on a run last night, and I saw Damon and McCrae at your house. I might have overheard you all talking."

Noah took my hand. "Who broke into your house?"

I was frozen. With Noah's palm pressed against mine, I could hardly think.

"Hey, what is going on?" Mercy asked, coming down the hallway.

"Yeah, what is happening?" Damon echoed. Trent walked next to him, a splint on his arm.

I forced myself to focus on Clint. "You live in town. Even if you were on a run, why would you stop there?"

"Yeah." Noah fixed Clint with a glare. "Were you spying on her?"

Clint balked and took a step back. "No," he said with a skittish laugh. "I was on a run, and I stopped and saw everyone there and realized her house had been broken into."

Damon scowled. "You had no right to put your prying eyes and ears on our conversation." His voice was low and controlled.

Mercy's eyes were as large as saucers. "I can't believe you, Clint. What the heck?"

Noah tugged me closer to him. Protective. It was just like when we were kids and he felt someone or something was threatening me.

I yanked my hand out of his.

"I didn't do anything," Clint said, dropping the fast-food bag on the floor and turning around. "Sheesh, you try to do something nice, and everyone jumps all over you." He hightailed it down the hallway toward the exit. "Never mind," he yelled over his shoulder.

"My word," Mercy said, looking at everyone. "I'm gone for two seconds, and the whole world explodes." She turned to me. "You okay?"

I nodded, my pulse still racing. I couldn't look away from Noah's eyes.

Damon sighed. "Let's get this cast on." He walked into the hospital room.

"Who broke into your house last night?" Noah asked me. His voice was quiet but full of intent, as if he were conducting his own investigation.

I shrugged. "We don't know. And that was private information that Clint shouldn't have shared with everyone."

"I'm not everyone ," Noah said softly.

It was ridiculous, but I suddenly felt bad for not telling him. I shrugged and then turned away. "You're only here a couple days, Noah. It doesn't matter."

I walked toward the nurses' station, resisting the urge to look back.