Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Noah

I took the turn toward my family's property and told myself to ignore the old feelings about Ella that had surfaced. Too bad I couldn't. There really wasn't a way to ignore the woman I'd been running from for the past eight years.

Granted, I'd tried to forget about the past, to forget about growing up with that girl and loving her since I was twelve. I'd tried to forget that I'd told her we would get married after my first year in the Marines and her first year of college in California.

I'd tried to forget her brother, who had been like family to me. Pain filled my chest at the memory. She had told me she could never be with me because she would always think of that day when her brother had died. More than devastated, I'd been wrecked and blindsided by how she could just cut me out.

The next time I'd come home for leave, my mother had told me her parents had moved and she'd gone to California to school. It hadn't really surprised me.

Three years ago, on Christmas day, I'd seen her grandmother at church, and she'd told me she was sorry—that Ella was engaged to another man. I'd hated it, and it'd stung, but it hadn't been unexpected. But now … why was she back in Refuge Falls? Where was her husband? I knew she'd become a nurse, but I'd never seen her in a nurse uniform like today. It was stupid, but it had me off guard. When she'd touched me so casually, I'd been struck hard enough to feel like I'd been assaulted.

There was something about her now. Something that looked almost haunted.

I dismissed the thought. Why would I care? I was going to use the next couple days to check on dear old Dad, help my mom, then get myself out of here.

When I got to the gate of my family property, I typed in the code, but it didn't work. Frustrated, I pressed the button.

"It's about time you got here," Damon's crackly voice said from the speaker. "One, two, three, four."

I grimaced, typing in the number. What a crappy security code. Were my parents really not more secure than that? Plus, it was Damon who was doing the ribbing, and I couldn't get back at him. He'd been divorced for two years, and Mom had mentioned he was struggling with his two kids. I'd gone easy on him the past couple of years at Christmas. My sister Kayla had told me she was worried about him. He worked too hard, and he didn't ask for enough help with the kids.

The Jeep rolled down the long driveway, crawling up the side of a hill until the ground leveled off and I was at my parents' place. When my mother and father had made their money, they'd not only bought real estate and developed the resort; they'd also bought quite a lot of land on this side of the lake, and they'd built this house for themselves.

I parked and got out, recognizing most of my brothers' vehicles and my sister's car. The house was huge, and I walked up the stairs, feeling a little overwhelmed by the massive cabin with the wraparound porch. I didn't know whether to knock or just walk in, which was rather silly. This was my childhood home.

Just then, my sister came out and threw her arms open. "It's about time you showed up."

I caught her up in a tight embrace. Kayla was the baby of the family, and she was pure sunshine and fire. Granted, when you teased her too much, she could be all vinegar. She had always given me unconditional love, even when I didn't feel like I deserved it.

I pulled back and looked her up and down. "How are you feeling, Kay?"

Instantly, her happy demeanor turned to annoyance, and she pushed the center of my chest. "I don't have cancer anymore." She moved back toward the door and flung it open. "Noah is here, and he's already done the cancer check for everyone," she called inside. "So you don't have to ask me when my last checkup was."

Kayla had a right to feel annoyed about how protective my brothers and I tried to be. On the rare occasion that I called my brothers, asking them about Kayla was always my first question.

I followed her in and found my entire family in the family room, past the kitchen. My mother met me in the kitchen and gave me the kind of look that told me she was tired and worried. "Noah, I'm glad you're back."

I hugged her the same easy way I hugged Kayla. There was comfort in knowing that she loved me even if I didn't deserve it. "Just here for a few days."

My dad was propped up in a recliner. He turned, and our eyes met. Nervous energy pulsed through me.

He nodded. That was a sort of big deal, because it was my father. I nodded back, and he returned his attention to the television.

My brothers stood around him. McCrae waved at me and said, "Hey." He worked as a police officer in Refuge Falls with Damon as his boss. I wasn't sure how he managed Damon all the time.

Canyon nodded to me, but his eyes snapped back to Dad, as if he would have another heart attack at any moment. It was understandable; he'd been the head of search and rescue for the past two years since Dad had stepped down, so he was concerned with everyone's safety.

Damon approached but didn't attempt to hug me. He looked me up and down. "What hellhole were you in when we all tried to call you?" He had served in the military as well. All of my brothers had served for a couple years.

"Saudi desert," I said.

"You weren't accessible, were you?"

I shook my head. "Can't talk about it, but you know that."

He snorted. "Yeah, yeah."

My youngest brother, Dylan, stepped toward me, catching my attention. He practiced law in Denver, and he was even worse at coming home than me. I was somewhat surprised to see him here. "Hey, bro." He put his hand out.

I grinned and gave him our old handshake I'd taught him when we were younger.

Dylan laughed and then moved in for a hug. "Glad you're here, because I'm leaving. I have court on Monday."

I hugged him back, instantly annoyed. I'd just returned and he was already leaving? "You have court?"

Dylan flashed a smile and patted my shoulder a bit too hard. "That's what attorneys do, bro. You would know what I do if you ever called."

"I call," I sputtered, though it had been a long time since I'd spoken to him. "Well, I call mom."

He laughed. "Kidding. I don't need more calls." Then he paused. "But have you seen Ella? Man, I saw her at the hospital today, and she looks good. I was sorry to hear about her ex, but that's the breaks, right?"

What the crap?

He turned away from me. "Mom, I have to go."

"No, Dylan. Don't go yet." Mom followed him to the door, where he grabbed a duffel bag off the floor next to it.

"Sorry. I already had others covering my cases, but you know justice sleeps for no man."

"Bye, Dylan!" Kayla chased after him for a hug.

Damon didn't even look at the spectacle going on; he only kept his eyes on me. My other brothers and father didn't react, either.

Canyon, looking tentative, sidled up next to me. "What's up, bro?" He took a handful of nuts from a bowl on the counter and popped one in his mouth. He was the quiet, strong type. Always had been.

I only half heard him, still thinking about what Dylan had said. Ella? Her ex? My mouth went dry, and my mind turned to sludge. It occurred to me that I'd finished an op, gone straight to the plane, then driven here. I hadn't slept in over seventy-two hours. "I'm … tired."

"That's not surprising," McCrae said, closing the circle by stepping up next to Damon. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I focused on McCrae, trying to figure out if he was being sarcastic. "I'm fine," I said tersely.

"How long are you staying?" Damon asked.

Shrugging, I stepped away from them and moved toward my father. I was unsure of how to approach, but I knew I had to. "How are you feeling, Dad?"

He turned toward me and muted the television. He looked so tired, not like the in-charge man I'd grown up knowing. "I'm good, son."

The way he said "son" had something going on inside my chest. This was different from the grumpy way he'd spoken to me the past couple of Christmases. "Good," I said.

An awkward silence fell, and I made a decision right then. I turned back to Damon, nodding to Canyon and McCrae. "I'm staying at least a week."

"You are?" Mom asked, clapping her hands together as she walked back into the kitchen.

"I'll stay at the hotel in town, but I'll be back in the morning." I nodded to Mom and moved past her.

"No, Noah," she argued. "Just stay here."

Kayla came back inside as I was approaching the front door. "You're leaving already?"

"I'll be back tomorrow," I said, patting her shoulder. "I just need some major rest."

"Noah Johnny Armstrong," my mother said in that way only a mother could.

I stopped and turned back. "Yes?"

"Stay here. We have plenty of room."

Kayla pinned me with a look that dared me to stay, even though she knew I wouldn't.

"See you tomorrow, Mom." I couldn't look at them as I stepped outside.

I had just slid into the Jeep when Kayla rushed after me and shouted, "Wait! You can't leave like this."

She threw the Jeep door open, her gaze full of fire. I didn't have the heart to pull it shut on her.

"You come home to check on Dad and to comfort Mom, presumably, and then you leave? You won't even stay with them?"

I didn't want to have a verbal sparring match with my sister. "Kayla. I haven't slept in seventy-two hours. I'm exhausted. I just need to go somewhere without all of this."

Kayla threw her hands up in the air. "Without your family?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. "What is she doing back in town?"

It took a moment for Kayla to figure it out. "Ella?"

I didn't want to be this vulnerable with anyone, but I had to know. "I saw her at the hospital. She said she thought someone would've told me she was back. What does that mean? And on top of it, she touched my arm." The instant I said it, I felt ridiculous. The way I was freaking out about it, you'd think I was a child and an adult had touched me improperly. "Never mind."

"What do you mean, she touched your arm?" Anger sketched the lines of her face. Kayla had always worn a lot of makeup to make herself look more professional, but it was the end of the day, and I could tell she was worn out. Her makeup was dark around her eyes, and her lipstick looked stale.

"Nothing. It was stupid. She told me she was sorry, and she touched my shoulder." I brushed it off. "Never mind. It doesn't matter." All the old feelings swirled inside me, and I hated it.

Kayla let out a long breath. "She's been back a couple months. She's divorced. The rumor is that Brian was abusive."

I jerked to meet her gaze, ice shooting through my veins. "What?"

Kayla put her hands up in surrender. "I don't know. That's just what I've heard. You know how rumors go. I've seen her a couple times, but I haven't talked to her. I guess you know she's working at the hospital with Mercy."

Mercy. Yes. That would make sense. Mercy had been one of her closest friends. In fact, Mercy had dated her brother Greg. We'd all been on lots of double dates together. The memory gouged me like an old scar being pressed at and reopened. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I need sleep."

Kayla frowned. "How long are you going to be here?"

"At least a week." Truthfully, I wanted to leave right now. Dad was clearly okay. But there was something pulling at me. I wanted to somehow clear the air between me and Dad. I just wasn't sure why he was mad at me, although I could imagine a few reasons.

She nodded and let out a light laugh. "Not the reunion I anticipated. Now I guess Ella has messed with your head."

I knew my sister was protective of me. "Kayla, it's fine. I shouldn't even have said that to you."

"It's not fine. It's been a long time, and everyone needs to get over it. The fact that she blamed you for Greg's death is outrageous."

Even though I knew what she was saying was true, it still hurt to hear it. "The past is over."

"Is it, Noah?" She wagged a finger at me. "Because you should see the look on your face. I don't think the past is over. I don't think the past has ever been looked at. And maybe you can change that. Maybe you can decide that you guys were kids, and it was an accident, and you can move on. Because the past eight years has hurt our family. Having you gone has hurt our family. I've been the one holding it all together, and I need your help now. You've got to step up."

The situation would've made me laugh, because my little sister was being prissy and annoying right now. Yet it was also the truth.

"I'll be back tomorrow," I promised her. "Four o'clock for dinner."

She shook her head. "Two o'clock is church. I don't know if Dad will go, but Mom will." She pushed away from the Jeep and slammed my door shut. "Go and sit by her. That's an order."