Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ella

I stared into Noah's eyes, and every part of me went completely still. Then my eyes stung with tears. "How can you say that? After everything I put you through—after all the years of being angry at you?"

I tried to move, but he held me tight.

He shook his head. "Because I mean it. I love you."

"What? Don't say that."

"Just…listen. I do love you. It's like Pastor Jones said. Didn't Paul struggle enough? Haven't you and I struggled enough? Can't we rely on our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, and His atonement to take away all of that pain?"

Tears streamed down Noah's cheeks, and they took me by surprise. He'd never been overly religious, but I guessed I didn't know everything about him.

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry. "I don't know," I croaked. Of course I wanted to believe that, but part of me felt guilty. It was like once I had decided to forgive myself and him, all these layers of truth had been pulled back and I could see how stubborn and ridiculous I was. My actions had caused so much pain over the years.

Noah gently pressed his forehead against mine. It was something we had always done as kids. It felt right between us, and painful.

"I don't understand how you can ignore the past and everything I've done and just want to be with me."

He leaned in, and his lips brushed against mine. I instinctively gave in and melted against him. Maybe this was what people meant by letting go, because I sure felt like I was free-floating, falling, and Noah had already caught me.

After what felt like an eternity, Noah pulled back, gazing into my eyes. "I love you. I never stopped loving you. No matter what we have to go through now, I'll go through it, because it's our time to be together. If you need time, that's fine. I'll wait."

I had no response, so I shoved my head into his chest and held on.

As we drove home, we were both quiet, our hands linked together. The peace I had found in his arms was quickly fading. So many questions swirled through my mind.

We pulled up to my house, and he cut the engine and got out. He ran around the Jeep and opened the door for me. Taking my hand as I stepped down, he pulled me into his arms. I was unable to resist him, and I let him kiss me thoroughly.

He pulled back with a huge grin on his face. "Let's go inside and plan where we can put cameras. I'm staying tonight—or would you like to stay over at my place?"

I still didn't want to move too fast. "You can have the bed, and I'll take the sleeping bag."

He let out a light laugh. "You know that'll never happen."

We walked toward the cabin, and I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door. I half expected something to be wrong inside, but everything appeared fine. The lights worked, and there was nothing out of place.

Noah went to the counter and looked around. "Do you have a piece of paper and a pencil?"

I pulled them out of my office drawer, and we discussed possible locations for cameras: two in the front to catch anyone walking toward the house; two around the side, toward the back door; and one in the kitchen. Noah wanted them in the living room and down the hallway or right outside the bedrooms, but I said no. He seemed to accept that and put a sketch together.

His phone buzzed, and he moved away from me, answering it. It must have been his business partner, because they started talking over the plans for the cameras.

I busied myself with straightening the kitchen and then changing the bed in Greg's room. Noah didn't need to sleep in a sleeping bag. I had cleaned out the room only two days ago and taken a bunch of stuff to Goodwill, so it was just about ready to be slept in.

I didn't hear Noah approach, but suddenly his arms were around me and he pulled me back into him. I startled and couldn't help but laugh. "When you're around someone who's a little nervous, maybe don't sneak up on them."

He turned me in his arms, and then he was kissing me again. "Sorry," he said softly, his hands moving through my hair and untying my hair clasp. His fingers massaged my scalp.

I relaxed into his touch. "That feels good."

"You have no idea," he murmured.

I grinned at him. "I missed this."

"Guaranteed I've missed you more."

I wanted to be with this man. I wanted everything with this man. But I hesitated. "I forgot to tell you something earlier."

"What's that?"

"I love you too." I paused and. "I can't believe I told you that."

The corner of his lip turned up. "I know."

"Try not to look so coy."

He laughed. "What? I know what I know."

"Fine." I pushed his chest.

He pulled back, letting out a long breath. "How about we elope to Vegas?"

Stunned, I laughed and took a step back. "What?"

He planted a trail of kisses down my face, starting from my forehead and working down to my jawline. "I mean it. I want to do things the right way with you, get married first. We just need to do them quickly."

I couldn't help laugh, but I pushed him back. "Give me a little time. This feels so fast."

He took my hands in his and nodded. "I'm sorry. I will slow down. But you know I'm not sleeping in this room, right?"

I turned toward the door. "It's right next to mine. If something happens, you will hear it."

He stayed next to me as I moved into my bedroom. "In my experience, if someone's going to break in at night, you won't hear them until it's too late. I'd rather be right next to you. I don't mind sleeping on the floor."

"That's not fair. I don't want you sleeping on the floor."

He shrugged. "With my time in the military service, you don't know how many horrible places I've slept. Believe me, your floor is not a big deal."

I groaned. It would be impossible to argue with him. "Fine. But I'm going to get an air bed for you. I think Grandma had one down the hall."

I tried pushing past him, but he took my hand. Every time he touched me, electricity sparked between us.

When I paused, he pulled me back to him and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Maybe I don't know you as well as I did eight years ago, but I can tell you're spinning out about us. Just so you know, I'm not. So however long you need to take, take that long. Because I'm going to be around."

I cocked my head. "What does that mean?"

"I guess you'll see."

"Why does that sound like a threat?" I couldn't help but grin.

He shook his head and kissed my cheek. "It's not a threat; it's a promise."