Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Ella

The next day, I woke up feeling rattled and anxious. I thought about calling in sick, but what would I do with a day off? I would be thinking about the break-in anyway.

Who in the world would leave framed pictures of my family at the lake?

On the way to work, for the first time in years, I called my mother.

She answered on the second ring, "Are you okay?"

It was a valid question; we never talked. Neither of us was keen to bring up the awkward conversation on Greg's death anniversary.

"Did you come to Grandma's house and leave something in the house? I mean, in my house?" It felt so weird to say that, especially to my mom, who had grown up in the lake house.

"What? Did someone leave something there?"

I didn't need my mother to be involved in my business. Especially after she'd told me I was too sensitive to my ex's abusive ways. "Never mind. I'm going to let you go." I hung up.

At the hospital, I did some breathing exercises to calm myself down. That picture hadn't been there until last night. Was I being paranoid, reacting this way to a picture of my family in my family home?

I focused on the hospital. I could do this. There wasn't usually a lot of action in Refuge Falls, but you never knew what would happen.

Things were quiet when I checked in. Mercy had the day off. I wasn't surprised to see Damon and his younger son walk in.

"Hi," Damon said. "Trent has an appointment with Dr. Chavez."

I filled out the iPad form and then led them to the exam room. I tried to talk to Trent and ask him how he was doing, but the boy was on his father's phone.

Damon sighed. "I don't want to be the dad that lets them spend so much time on electronics." He reached over and took the phone from Trent. "She's going to ask you some questions. Pay attention."

Trent looked up at me, and I rattled off questions about what he was feeling and if the cast was too tight. He didn't seem to be having any trouble.

It wasn't long until Dr. Chavez came in and took him through some tests. "Looks like everything's doing well. We will see you back in two weeks, but it'll be another five until you get this off." He looked at Trent. "Be careful, okay?"

Trent frowned. "I can't even run outside."

Damon stood and shook Dr. Chavez's hand, expressing his thanks.

We all started walking out when Damon asked me, "Can I talk to you before we leave?"

I gave him a skeptical look. Why would he need to talk to me? The break-in had just happened last night, and they had taken down all the information.

At the nurses' station, Damon handed his phone back to Trent. "You stay there on the seat for a minute. Dad needs to talk."

Trent nodded and sat, leaving the two of us alone.

Damon leaned toward me over the counter. "I know you said you didn't want security or cameras at the house, but I think you should reconsider. I'm saying this as a friend. If you don't want Noah to put them up, I could do it for you."

I vacillated between being irritated and touched by how good the Armstrong brothers were. "Thank you. Like I said, I don't want cameras up. I like having the lake house as my own personal refuge within Refuge." I gave him a wan smile.

He smiled back. "Good one. Well, I know there's stuff with my brother, but he is resourceful if you need him. And he's only two doors away."

I nodded. "I know."

Damon hesitated. "Are you coming to the town fair tonight?"

"I don't think so." I was caught off guard that he would even bring this up, but this was a small town.

As if he had supersonic hearing, Trent said, "When are we going to the fair, Dad?"

Damon rolled his eyes at me before he turned to Trent. "I told you, bud. Tonight after work, we will take you and your brother to the fair. Right now, you're going back to Grandma and Grandpa's. Uncle Noah is there, and he has gardening chores for you."

Trent frowned. "Okay. At least I can use one arm."

I couldn't help but smile. The little man acted so grown up and had clearly resolved himself to do the work even though it would be difficult.

Damon smiled at me. "You have a good day."

I watched him walk away, and suddenly I could picture Noah walking around his parents' huge garden. It was the kind with separate rows. It had yielded lots of vegetables when we were younger. His parents and brothers had spent hours canning them. I remembered because I'd helped a few times.

The image of Noah running into the hospital the other day, Trent in his arms, flashed in my mind. The way Noah had held him and soothed his pain… The center of my heart ached. Noah had always been good with kids. He'd been good with everyone.

Last night, I could tell he'd wanted to comfort me, but I wouldn't let him. I was beginning to regret my stance on never forgiving him. Why was I being so stubborn about it?

The hospital was quiet for the next two hours, and I had a lot of time to think at the nursing station. Could I really forgive Noah? Could I forgive myself? That was the problem. I didn't want to forgive myself.

On break, I called Mercy and explained everything.

"I know what your problem is," she said as only a best friend could.

"What's that?"

"It's about more than just forgiveness."

I was confused. "Then what is it about?"

"It's about letting yourself be vulnerable again. I mean, of course you're unsettled. It's because of the way you grew up, with your parents not really being parents, constantly dumping you on your grandparents but popping back into your life at random times."

I processed her words. It was a little annoying that she was going therapist on me, but she was exactly right. "But I did get married."

She sputtered out a grunt. "He wasn't from here. He didn't know your brother."

That was a good point.

Mercy sighed. "Everything with your brother … it must have left you feeling vulnerable. I can't imagine suddenly losing someone who's been with you since the womb. It must be unbelievably hard."

"Yeah, it was. It … is."

My eyes squeezed shut as I realized the biggest problem.

Noah was the only one who really understood what it was like. Without him, I would always feel alone.