Chapter 19

19

Ben pulled his rental car into the parking lot at Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures on Monday morning. He had come to a decision and was determined to stick to with it.

He'd done a lot of thinking over the weekend. Spending an entire weekend alone in a hotel room, except for the three hours he was committed to hosting a dedication ceremony, gives one plenty of time to think. So, he'd done plenty of that. He thought while sitting on his bed, while standing in the shower, while he ate, while he sat by the pool, while he worked out, and for the entire drive back up the mountain to Hope Falls.

The decision he'd come to was this—he needed to show Lauren what a good man he was and how serious he was about her. He needed to show her the side of him that not everyone got to see. The sensitive side, the strong side, the deep side.

With most people, he stuck to his ‘television show host' persona for several different reasons.

First, it was the simplest thing. He was at work to do a job. So were the rest of the people who made the television show. Whatever their job, from the director all the way down to the PA, they weren't there to socialize and make friends. They were there to put out a damn good TV show. If he ‘stuck to the script' so to speak, it was just easier for everyone all around.

Second, it was what people expected. From his coworkers to his fans, they liked to see him behaving offscreen the same way that he behaved onscreen. To see a different side of him, a side of him that wasn't perpetually witty and upbeat and obsessed with high-end real estate, would mess with their minds.

The third reason, and the one that was most applicable to this situation, was that he'd never met anyone he'd want to go deeper with.

That had all changed with Lauren. He wanted to share everything with her. He wanted to make a life with her. He wanted to hold nothing back from her.

But she wasn't the kind of woman who would simply jump at that chance. That was part of the reason why he'd fallen so hard for her, precisely because she was like no other woman he'd ever met. To make things work with Lauren, he was going to have to put forth some serious effort. Yes, to make things work with Lauren, that was going to be the operative word—work. And he couldn't wait. He was going to love every minute of it.

One thing he knew he might have to face, possibly as soon as the meeting this morning, was her giving him the cold shoulder. That was one of her quirks. She ran hot and cold. He couldn't blame her. He'd actually done the same thing. But problems started up when they both were running cold at the same time.

He was determined that, from now on, that simply wouldn't happen. He was going to run warm from here on out. If he walked into the meeting this morning and found that she was ignoring him, angry with him, or in any way had built back up those walls surrounding her heart that he'd worked so diligently to tear down, he would merely ignore that attitude and continue to treat her with the kindness and warmth that came so naturally when the two of them were both running hot.

Ben pushed open the door, a huge smile already gracing his face. It didn't have to be pasted on. The thrill he felt at the opportunity to see Lauren again was enough to bring it there naturally.

He sat down in his customary seat next to her, and she lifted her head and smiled at him.

His heart sang.

For all of his tough self-talk about how strong he was going to be at keeping a friendly, warm, and open attitude no matter what resistance he was met with, it still felt really damn good to see that gorgeous smile on her face.

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, "I missed you, beautiful. It was a long weekend without seeing your gorgeous face."

She turned to him, still smiling, and said, "For me, too."

"You know," he said, "our last location is in Malibu. It was a last-minute substitution. Otherwise we could've just gone out there and done it when we were in Palm Springs last weekend.

"I'm from LA. Malibu is practically my stomping grounds. I'd really like the chance to show you around, show you my house."

Lauren laughed. "It's only fair, right? I mean, I've gotten to show you around the vast metropolis that is Hope Falls for the past several weeks now. So I figure you should get at least one day to show me LA. That seems fair, doesn't it?"

Just then, Paul came in and got the meeting started. Since this was the last week of filming, it was going to be a busy one; all the things that were put off '"just for a while" had to be done this week or they weren't going to get done at all.

Yes, it was going to be a busy week. But with Lauren by his side, particularly with the two of them getting along as well as they were right now, it could very well shape up to be the best week of his life.

--- ~ ---

The ride to the airport with Ben and the flight to LA that followed were by far the most purely happy and camaraderie-filled hours that Lauren and Ben had ever spent together.

Even still, Lauren felt a clenching undercurrent of dread in her gut. If the show didn't get picked up, then the reality was that this would be the last time they would be jetting away together for a shoot.

I mean, come on , Lauren chided herself. It's not like you've been doing this for years. This is only your third trip.

So, why then, she lamented internally, did it already feel so familiar? So wonderful? So treasured? Why did it feel like she would be losing a precious and integral part of her life if this was the last business trip she and Ben ever went on together?

Lauren didn't know how Ben felt about that realization or if it had even occurred to him. He was, for his part, fairly caught up in the excitement of heading back to his home in Los Angeles. He kept rattling off things he wanted to show Lauren. Like a proud kid on back-to-school night, he had lists of places and things he wanted to show off to her.

Lauren was touched that he was so invested in showing her the things that were important to him. She knew it was a real mark of how much you meant to a person, how excited and eager they were to let you in to the minutiae of their everyday life. Ben certainly did seem eager, so that was a good sign.

Still, though. She couldn't shake this undercurrent of melancholy that swept through her every time she thought about the possibility that this would be their "last week."

As they disembarked from the plane and made their way out to the sidewalk, things were already different. Because this was Ben's home base and he had a place here, he wasn't going to be staying in a hotel. So now, instead of the cozy routine of climbing into a town car together, they got into separate town cars and were whisked off to different sides of the city.

Lauren couldn't help but wonder if it was a metaphor for the direction their relationship was going to go should the pilot not get picked up. Ben speeding off in one direction and her jetting off in another. She hoped it wasn't, but she couldn't help but think that it probably was. After all, they lived far away from each other, and without this show, what did they really have in common? There was no way that they could keep up the discipline of constantly traveling to see each other. Not with their busy schedules. As sad as she was to admit it, it was most likely the truth.

She tried to buck up. After all, she reminded herself, this wasn't the let's-work-out-Lauren's-and-Ben's-relationship show. This was Home Sweet Vacation Home , and she and Ben were just the hired help. The "talent," as they called it. They both had a responsibility to give good performances, and this week was about work.

That's what she needed to concentrate on. Whatever happened or didn't happen with Ben after Friday, she'd deal with it. It wasn't as if she needed a man to be happy. She hadn't had a man since she came back to live in Hope Falls, and it'd been the happiest time of her life so far. Whether Ben was in her life going forward or not, the point was that she would handle it. She could depend on herself. She could be strong for herself.

She shook her head. It was true. She was incredibly independent and strong. She thought about Sam, Karina, and Amanda. About the beautiful relationships they had found with Luke, Ryan, and Justin. She was happy for them; she really was.

But when it came down to it, she had to realize that she wasn't built the same way. In fact, if the four of them were ever starring on Sesame Street , she was pretty sure their theme song would've been, "One of These Things (Is Not Like The Others)"

She wasn't made the same way they were. She wasn't made to fall madly in love. She was made to find comfortable and contented compatibility. The last few weeks had been like a roller coaster. She wondered if the best thing for her might be to just get off the ride. She didn't know if she could handle the dips and the turns.