Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

JOEL

I tossed and turned in bed but couldn’t sleep. Every single time I looked at the clock, it seemed like time was frozen. I was glad to be in my parents’ old bedroom because from here I couldn’t see the apartment opposite mine, although it seemed pointless to be in my bed if I couldn’t sleep while Max was on the small single bed in my childhood bedroom.

I kept running what had happened at the club through my mind like a film reel. If only I could grab a pair of scissors and edit out the parts that hurt and keep just the best ones.

Flirting with David had felt so damned right. We’d joked and teased each other on the dance floor. When I’d noticed something was happening between Max and Isaac, David had been beside me. I’d been surprised to see that David’s first reaction was to check in on Max and make sure he was okay.

When Max confirmed to me that Isaac was the same Isaac he met in New York last Christmas, my heart broke for him.

When we’d received the news of my parents’ car accident six months ago, we’d both been taken on a roller coaster of events we hadn’t been prepared for.

We’d both lost my parents, and were both grieving and trying to support each other. In those early days, he’d spent all his time at my apartment, and I’m ashamed to say I’d completely forgotten about the reason why Max had come to my place that day we received the news.

My best friend had looked like his heart was breaking, but he also seemed confused. My first thought was that I needed to get him out of the club. We could talk it through later.

I was surprised when David had asked Max if he wanted to go home before I’d had the chance. If I’d had any doubts about how much I loved David then, I definitely knew for sure the moment he put my friend first. That was until everything changed.

I’d seen the guy earlier before he’d approached us at the club, and should have guessed by how he was eyeing us on the dance floor that he knew David.

He was dressed in a pair of white jeans that looked like they were painted on and a white shirt that may as well not be there for all the skin I could see underneath. There was nothing real about the guy’s tan, which was odd in a country where you can sunbathe even on mild winter days.

The all-white combo didn’t do anything for me, and although it usually didn’t bother me, either, on this guy, it just made him look like an innocent predator. He’d accessorized with a paisley scarf that made his streaky blond-and-pink hair stand out.

His eyes, however, had been locked on David. My first thought was that he’d liked what he saw. I couldn’t disagree. David was stunning, and he was wearing an ensemble of jeans and shirt that for all its modesty and simplicity didn’t fail to show how fit he was.

I hadn’t cared if the guy was looking or not, David was with me, so he could look all he wanted, but when his gaze went from appreciative to defiant, I’d felt my hackles rise.

We’d gone to the dance floor to give Max and Isaac some space. I could see from David’s expression he had no idea what was going on, so I’d pulled him away before the situation became any more awkward.

When David had asked what was happening, I’d just said Max and Isaac had met in New York. I’d need to verify that Isaac really was Max’s Isaac, but I was pretty sure there was no need. Both guys were looking at each other like they either wanted to tear each other apart or tear each other’s clothes off, possibly both.

David and I had been swaying to the beat of the music, not putting all that much effort into the dancing, but the shift in white-outfit guy’s gaze had pulled me into action.

I’d put my hands on David to mark my territory and whispered in his ear. When he’d leaned further against me pressing his ass into my front, I’d all but forgotten white-outfit guy, Max and Isaac, or anything else but David.

The moment had been perfect, sexy flirting and a little bit of teasing grinding. As far as I was concerned, it was a prelude for another mind-blowing night together. I was about to kiss David when my eyes briefly landed on our table, and I’d seen Max and Isaac were no longer alone.

A tall, blond-haired guy had had his arm around Isaac. I hadn’t seen Max’s reaction, but it looked like Isaac hadn’t been particularly happy with the other man’s advances. It surprised me when Isaac suddenly left the table with the other guy.

We’d gone back to Max and had agreed to leave the club when white-outfit guy came over and sat down right next to David, too close to be a stranger as far as I was concerned.

“Well, if it isn’t the custard tart man extraordinaire.” The guy’s voice had grated on me and made the small hairs on my arms stand to attention. He definitely wasn’t good news.

I’d been surprised that David knew him, but from his reaction, it didn’t look like they were close friends. In fact, David seemed to flinch at the guy, Lucas,’ touch.

I’d expected David to put Lucas in his place and tell him to go or at least tell him we were going, but the conversation took on an unexpected turn when Lucas seemed to be seeking confirmation of David’s sexuality while also coming on to him as though Max and I weren’t there.

David saying he was there with friends but he wasn’t gay hurt, but it wasn’t unexpected. But then he’d lied about Max and me, and it was just too much.

If David had put his hand through my chest, ripped my heart out, and shredded it into pieces before stomping on them, it still wouldn’t have hurt half as much as hearing him say it was all a game and that Max and I were leaving. Together. Without him.

I’d pulled Max out of the club, nearly dragging him from his chair. I could only hope that my anger was masking my heartbreak. I wasn’t going to give Lucas the satisfaction of knowing exactly how I felt about David, especially after our earlier exchange from afar when we were on the dance floor.

I’d parked the car near the club, which made for a swift exit. I’d been trying to keep it together, but when the car key started playing up and refusing to turn to unlock the door, I just collapsed on my knees and broke down in tears.

Max quickly came round and held me in his arms. I’d let out long shuddering sobs while holding on to his shirt.

“Max.”

“Shhh, it’s okay. Let it out.”

“I... can’t... do it, Max.” Each of my words was coming out in between my breaths as I tried to get air back into my lungs. “Can’t. Do it.”

“Let’s go home, Joebug. Do you want me to drive?”

I’d nodded and gave him the car keys.

When we got home, Max made me get in the shower to warm up since I was shivering despite the relatively mild temperature. Then he’d made me a sweet tea, which was something my mom used to do for us when we were stressed about school or upset with something, and then he lay down with me in bed.

I couldn’t talk because I was trying to process what had happened. My heart was breaking, but my head was still trying to find an excuse or a reason for David’s words.

Ultimately, doubt won. I just had to accept that what had happened between David and me in the last few weeks had meant different things to each of us.

While I’d fallen completely head over heels in love with David, he didn’t feel the same way about me. Maybe he’d started to fall, but he wasn’t in as deep as I was.

Having Max with me was comforting, but I just wanted to be on my own, so after a while, I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breaths so I looked like I was asleep. I felt him leave the room shortly after. I also hoped that focusing on my breathing would eventually bring on the elusive sleep, but that didn’t happen. Not until it was light outside and my body was too tired to fight it.

When I woke up, it was dark again. I wondered if I’d slept all day, but the clock on the bedside table showed it was two in the afternoon, so I guessed Max had come in the room at some point to close the curtains.

I found Max sitting on the sofa facing the open balcony door, staring at the outside world. I wondered how he was feeling and what exactly had happened last night, but I didn’t have the energy to revisit it all.

I sat next to him, and he put his arm around me.

“You okay, Joebug?”

“No.”

“David came here last night.”

I sat up at that. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. You were in the shower.” Max ran his hands through his hair and then fisted them on his lap. “I was so angry with him and Isaac. I’m so sorry. I took it out on him and sent him away,”

I sat back again. “It doesn’t matter anyway. This can’t be fixed.”

“I also did something while you were asleep this morning.”

He looked a little embarrassed as though he’d stepped out of line and was afraid to say so. It almost made me chuckle, and I would have if my chest didn’t feel like I’d been stomped on.

“What did you do?”

“I booked us a few nights away. Nothing fancy, just a hotel room in a small village in the Algarve. I didn’t realize it was so far away from here, but it just looked ideal to escape for a few days.”

This was why we’d been friends all these years. Max and I knew each other so well, and no matter what happened, we came first every single time. I did need to escape from it all. Even if only for a few days.

When I’d broken up with Lance after I realized he wasn’t the person I thought he was, Max had packed my bags and taken me to my grandmother’s house in the Hamptons. We both had keys since I’d insisted that it was as much his house to use as it was mine. I hadn’t even known where we were going until I’d noticed the road signs.

There were no Hamptons in Portugal, so Max did the next best thing because he was thinking about me, something David had failed to do. The thought caused a fresh batch of tears to stream down my face.

“So, what do you say, Joebug?”

“I love you, Max. Thank you.”

“I love you, too, bud.”

Around six o’clock, there was a knock on the door. My eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and I had dark circles under my eyes, so we hadn’t left the apartment all day because I didn’t want to risk bumping into anyone I knew. We decided to pack our bags and take it easy for the day.

My granddad was the last person I expected to see on the other side of the door. He mostly kept to himself unless we were having a heart to heart, which meant my grandmother had sent him.

“Av?, come in.” I opened the door to let him in and noticed he was holding a carrier bag.

“Hey, son, your grandmother was worried. She hasn’t seen you all day and sent me with some food.”

“You mean sent you to snoop.” I laughed.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “She thought you were coming over for breakfast this morning, but you didn’t show up. Then she stopped by the café, and Teresa said David wasn’t there because he’s sick. So, I’m here with food.”

“Thanks, Granddad, but David isn’t here.” I wasn’t sure how much to tell him, so I said nothing.

“What’s going on, Joel?”

“Nothing’s going on, Granddad. I haven’t seen David since last night. Max and I are going away for a few days.”

“David isn’t going with you?”

“No.”

My granddad seemed to understand I wasn’t going to say much more. He probably thought we’d had a falling out and would be back to being friends again soon.

“Okay, I’ll tell your grandmother you’ll be by tomorrow for breakfast before you go.” The way he looked at me told me there wasn’t a question or request in his words. I’d better go to breakfast, or I’d never hear the end of it. God, I loved my grandparents so much.

We didn’t dare miss breakfast the next morning, and quite strangely, there were no questions about where David was or if we’d had a falling out. Maybe we’d been such great actors that it hadn’t occurred to my grandparents that David and I had been more than friends.

My great-grandmother asked us about where we were going and what we were planning on doing.

“We’ve only just got a new head nurse at the hospital to replace Sílvia, so between picking up extra shifts and additional responsibility, it’s been quite stressful. Rest and recuperation by the beach are just what we need,” Max said.

“But you have the beach here,” my grandmother said.

“We’re just taking the opportunity to show Max a bit more of the country, Avó .”

They seemed to accept what we said, but in the back of my mind, there was a feeling that maybe there was something behind their too easy acceptance of our reasons for going away.

As Max had predicted, we spent all the time we were away on the beach or by the pool. Max said he could explore the country another time, and I was thankful for it because I didn’t remember a time when I’d felt as exhausted as I did right now.

I would wake up much later than usual for me, and despite doing very little all day, I was in bed by ten o’clock each night. I’d also lost my appetite, something that Max had noticed because he kept trying to feed me using the excuse that he needed to try all the amazing Portuguese food.

We’d also not talked about David or Isaac. Not a single word. Part of me was glad we hadn’t, but another part of me wanted to talk about it. The way we’d both got through hard times in the past had always been by talking about it.

Max seemed like he was back to normal, and I wasn’t sure if the situation with Isaac hadn’t been that big of a deal or if he was just too good at hiding it, even from me.

Whatever it was, he wasn’t talking about it, and neither was I.

On our drive back to Caparica, my phone buzzed with a text from my cousin, and I made a decision.

I just needed to see my grandparents first.